FRIDAY
The 19th of November.
I'm so glad it's Friday. This has been the most awkward week of my entire life. Every time I see Mr. Blake all I can think about is being pressed against him as his lips mold to mine, then I think about the fact that he loves me.
I could never love him back though, I love Alex way to much. I mean sure if I stop lying to myself then I'll admit that I'm attracted to him, but not enough to ever love him.
Tonight there's going to be a party at Jason's and I'm so stressed from school, and Alex, and Mr. Blake that I might actually have a drink. Not enough to get full out drunk, but maybe just a little buzzed.
It's already after school and me and Alex have just gotten to the party. I'm wearing a green and black dress, heels, and have a green flower in my hair.
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Alex drags me into the kitchen where Spencer is already drunk. He grins as soon as he sees us, "Alex! Scarlete!"
Alex laughs, "Where are your pants?" He asks Spencer.
Spencer looks down and for the first time seems to realize he's not wearing any, "I don't know."
I laugh and walk over taking a beer. I feel a pair of arms wrap around me, "Let me help you with that." Spencer says trying to open the top.
Spencer presses himself against me and his hands slip from the bottle to my arms. His hands slide over me but they only get to my elbows before Alex pulls him off.
Spencer pouts, "Alex, why don't you ever share?"
I shiver and open my first beer before taking a sip.
Not even twenty minutes later I'm falling over laughing as Alex holds me up. I put my finger on his nose, "Alex, I'm pretty sure this is the first time I got drank." I say laughing.
Alex raises an eyebrow, "You mean drunk?"
I get serious thinking about what I said, "I dunno. Either way I've never had this much beer."
He sighs, "Maybe I should take you home."
I shake my head, "You're to drank to drive."
He smiles, "Scarlete again you mean 'drunk' and I haven't had anything to drink."
I roll my eyes, "Then what's this?" I ask taking something from his hand.
"Water."
I sigh, "Alright, smart guy."
Alex laughs but picks me up, "Let's get you home."
"I can walk!"
He shakes his head, "It would take us twice the amount of time to get you to the car if I let you walk."
Soon I'm being placed into the car and when he leans over to buckle me I grab his face kissing him.
Alex lets me kiss him for only a second before pulling away. I pout, "You're no fun."
He pecks my lips, "We can kiss more when we get you home."
He closes the door and climbs into the drivers side a moment later. As soon as he starts to drive I want to lie down so I unbuckle and duck under his arm putting my head in his lap, "What are you doing?" He asks me.
I wrap my arms around his waist, "I love you."
"I love you too."
He moves a hand from the steering wheel and puts it lightly on my head. I lift his shirt and press my lips to his belly. He laughs, "Now what are you doing?"
I ignore him starting to unbutton his pants. He pushes my hand away, "Don't do that. I'm trying to drive."
"Don't worry about it." I mumble.
All of a sudden the car stops and I look up from trying to undue his pants, "Why'd we stop."
He sighs, "We're at your house."
He moves me from his lap and then I'm being pulled out of the car. He lifts me again and carries me inside. I'm being placed on a bed and I smile wrapping my arms around his waist, "Come here."
Alex climbs into the bed next to me and I move until I'm straddling him, "I want you." I mumble.
I struggle to get the dress over my head and Alex shakes his head, "Are you sure? Scarlete you're pretty drunk."
I nod managing to get my dress off, "I'm sure."
I lean down covering his mouth with mine before he can protest any more.
Alex cuddles with me for an hour afterward and then he climbs out of bed, "I need to go home. My dad told me not to be out all night."
He slips on his pants and I flip onto my back, "Can I see you tomorrow?" I ask him.
He smiles, "As soon as you're not drunk."
"I'm not even that drank." I tell him covering myself with the blanket.
He laughs, "Sure." Then he frowns, "Have you seen my shirt?"
I lean over the edge of the bed grabbing something, "Is this it?"
He shakes his head, "That's your dress."
I drop it and pick something else up, "What about this?"
He walks over to the dresser and opens a drawer, "That's your shoe."
I look at it shocked and then start laughing, "Oh you're right." I drop it to the ground as he slips on a new shirt.
Alex walks over and quickly kisses me goodbye, "I'll see you in the morning."
I nod, "Night."
He walks out and I hear his car leave my driveway a minute later. I sigh stretching across the bed.
Isn't alcohol supposed to make you pass out or something?
After a few seconds my mind wanders to Mr. Blake. I think about how good it felt to have him pressed against me. I wonder for a brief second what it would feel like to have him on top of me.
I smile and climb out of bed. I almost fall over but manage to catch myself on the nightstand. I slip on the first clothing my hand makes contact with and I slip on some flats.
I want to go see Mr. Blake. I want to tell him that I don't love him, but I'm attracted to him. I want to tell him that I love Alex. I definitely want to kiss him.
For a second sober thoughts come to me. That I would never want to kiss him if I wasn't drunk. But I am and I want him.
I only try to open my car door for a second before I give up and just decide to walk. It's only a mile or so away.
I don't know how long I'm walking but I manage to find his apartment building. I walk up the stairs and knock on his door.
HOLDEN'S POV
I was with Seth for a while, we drank a few beers- not enough to get drunk- and then he went home. I'm now alone, sprawled across the couch watching NCIS when there's a knock on the door. I wonder if Seth forgot something and open the door.
"Scarlete?" I ask shocked. I then look down to see her wearing a shirt I can only assume is Alex's- It goes to mid thigh- and flats.
"I have to talk to you." She says, and it comes out all mushed together. I realize she's drunk.
I grab her arm and pull her into the apartment, "Are you drunk?" I ask her.
She shakes her head, "No, I'm drank."
"Where's Alex? Why are you here? If you were drunk I don't think Alex would let you out of his sight."
She shrugs, "He's home. He brought me home," She touches my chest, "We had sex and then he said he had to go home. I wanted to see you."
"What do you mean? How did you get here?"
"What do I mean what? and I walked."
"From your house! In that!" I yell angrily.
She covers my mouth angry, "Stop yelling and asking questions. Shouldn't you be happy I'm here. I came because I wanted to kiss you."
Before I can protest her mouth is on mine. At first I kiss back, but then I realize what I'm doing and I pull back, "We can't do this."
"Why?" She asks moving to kiss me again.
I step back and she puts her hand on her hips, "I don't understand you. You say you love me but when I throw myself at you, you don't want me."
"I do want you, and I do love you. I'm just not going to take advantage of the fact that you're drunk."
"You're drunk." She says annoyed before walking around me.
I watch her confused as she moves into the living room. She lays down on the couch, "I love this episode. The fiancee did it."
I sigh, "I haven't seen this one, thanks for ruining it."
She ignores me, "I like this one because I think Zeva and Tony should be together, and they definitely slept together when they were in Paris."
"Scarlete don't you think I should drive you home now?"
She shakes her head, "No. I think you should sit down and watch the rest of the show with me."
I watch as she moves to a sitting position and the shirt she's wearing rises. I'm glad to see that she has shorts on underneath.
She pats the couch, "Come here."
I sigh but sit down next to her, "Fine but right after you're going home."
She shrugs, "Sure."
When the episode is over Scarlete smiles, "I told you it was the fiancee, and that they had sex."
I look at her, "Alright time to go home."
Scarlete shakes her head and then in one swift movement- which I'm impressed by considering how drunk she is- she's straddling my lap.
She squints at the clock for a second, "It's only ten."
I sigh shaking my head, "It's twelve."
She smiles, "Oh then I've already missed my curfew by an hour. So I'm already in trouble."
I look at her, "You were probably home at eleven. You got here at 11:40."
She runs a hand down my chest, "Don't you want me?"
Scarlete takes one of my hands and places it high on her exposed thigh.
I swallow roughly moving my hand, "I do want you. But not like this."
"It's not even like I'm asking for sex, I just want to kiss." She says annoyed.
This surprises me. I thought she was trying to sleep with me. But either way this is still wrong.
"Let me take you home Scarlete."
She sighs, "Fine, just let me use your bathroom first. Where is it?"
I point down the hall, "Second door on the left."
She smiles, "Okay." She climbs off my lap and walks down the hall.
I cover my face with my hands leaning back. This is bad. Very bad.
"HOLDEN!" She yells.
"Yeah?"
"Help!"
I jump up and walk down the hallway. When I'm passing my bedroom I realize that there's noise coming from inside it.
I peek inside and see Scarlete on my bed. I freeze, "What are you doing?"
She smiles, "Come over here and you'll find out."
I shake my head, "I'm not going over there. You need to go home."
She kneels on the bed, "Come over here or I'm taking this off." Her hands go to the bottom of her shirt.
I think about Scarlete being naked on my bed and my stomach flips. I think about the fact that Scarlete is on my bed at all. How many times have I wished for that? Now she's here; real. So very real, and threatening to remove her clothes.
I walk over and stand on the side of the bed, "Okay fine what?"
She crawls over and wraps her arms around my neck, "Kiss me."
I slowly lean my head down, "I'm not going to do more then that." I tell her.
She nods, "I know."
I slowly move my head down and kiss her. And soon even though I said I would only kiss her, she's on her back. I'm on top of her as she pulls my shirt off.
This is wrong on so many levels. So why am I not trying to stop it?