...I'm just not gonna make an excuse for my absence and see who notices this update, not that I expect you all to continue reading after my absence (FORGIVE ME T-T)
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I gripped my guitar like my life depended on it, which it kind of did. "Why do I have to do this?" I whispered at Logan who was a few feet away leaning against the wall.
We were in town now, outside of the pizza place. There were many people walking here and there, none of them looking my way. Logan was holding my beanie, sunglasses, coat, and his own guitar. But he wasn't going to play. He's making me do street performances by myself, without any disguise, to make me used to people seeing me as...well, me. I don't like it one bit. I don't even like myself. I'm too self conscious. I mean, MY HAIR IS REFLECTING THE SUN FOR GOODNESS SAKE!
"Just start singing Case." He leaned against the side of the building, far enough to look like he didn't know me.
"But I can't-"
"Case," He made sure to look me in the eyes, "you can do it." After a silent moment I nodded.
I strummed a few times. Okay. If Logan thinks I can, then I should be able to, right?
"Days swiftly come and go..." I whisper-sang. My voice caught in my throat when a few people glanced my way with confused expressions. Some sized me up. Logan stared at me insistently. My hand shook and if possible my voice began to shake, "I'm dreaming of her. She's...she's seeing..." The lump in my throat built and I was having trouble. I stopped strumming but that seemed to confuse passerby's more, and inclined them to stare at me. I took a few steps back. Oh god... "guys.. o-other guys. Emotions they...stir." Forget this. Cue loud sigh behind me.
"The sun is gone, the nights are long, and I am left while tears fall," Logan started strumming behind me and I stared at him. He sighed (AGAIN) and nodded at my guitar. OH. I started strumming but continued watching him. "Did you think that I would cry on the phone?" He bumped me and whispered, "Go Case."
"D-Do you k-know what it feels like, all alone?"
"I'll find someone new, oh." I like his voice. It's different from the All American Rejects. Low and smooth. While we did the transition strum he whispered, "One song I'll help. Go octave higher."
I nodded and we sang the chorus, me on a slightly higher octave, and him singing a harmony. I started smiling at Logan. I really like his voice. He had a slight quirk to his lips too. We got to the bridge and he sang "Bury me,"
"You thought your problems were gone,"
"Carry me,"
"Away, away, awaaay," AWAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!
Someone in the crowd started clapping and I was shocked back to reality. I expected Logan to continue singing with me but when I started the chorus again it was just me. That's okay, I told myself, he was still playing the guitar beside me. Although I liked hearing my voice mix with his.
When I finished I took a HUGE BREATH as the small crowd clapped and a few left. I looked immediately at Logan. "Logan, I-"
He smiled and ruffled my hair. "Good job."
I felt an explosion of excitement bubble inside of me.
"OH MY GOD I SANG IN PUBLIC AND MY HAIR IS LAME AND YOU HELPED BUT I STILL DID IT AND PEOPLE CLAPPED AND NOBODY BEAT ME UP AND I DID IT! I FREAKING DID IT!" He grabbed my shoulders to hold me down and make me stop jumping. He started laughing at me. But I was FLIPPING FLOPPING EVERYWHERE.
He grinned and after a moment said, "Now do it again. Get a bigger crowd."
I nodded. "What should I sing?"
"One of G5's songs."
I nodded and decided on Off the Radar, hoping to recall how I felt on stage. It felt different, because now it was acoustic and just me. I liked having Logan play next to me, but this time he resumed his position a few feet away. It's okay, I told myself. I can finish this.
By the end I had successfully gotten many passerby, and a few threw coins and a dollar in my guitar case. IM RICH!
"I'm going to get a drink. You want something, Snow?"
"Unicorn Blood."
"I'll be right b- they don't sell that here."
I giggled and he just rolled his eyes and went into the pizzeria. I bet if he comes out while I'm singing, he'll be super proud of me!
I....really shouldn't care if he is proud of me, though. But it's RARE! That's why.
"Give me, give me some time," I started strumming. I was pressed against the wall of the building, hoping to calm myself and stop the few shakes. It was harder when he wasn't here. No comfort, no reassurance.
It felt very different singing alone.
"I promise, I'm here now. And I'm not going anywhere. No more worry. 'says who?', screw you. This very minute I'll make my move-" people were smiling because of the fast pace of the song. I took a deep breath. I'm doing good.
"It's a dream I rarely see, both of us are finally here. what more can we ask for? This is real, not a dream, awake. A few more minutes and I'll be ready to go! Go all the way." With you. It might be weird to say "go all the way with you." YEEEAH....ILL JUST SAVE THAT FOR ANOTHER TIME.
I smiled at the audience at the end and looked around for Logan. He was watching me, holding two drinks. I couldn't read anything on his face, but although he wasn't smiling I was almost completely sure he was happy for me. He seemed to snap awake and took a step forward, "Ca-"
"Hey, I'm Travis." Logan froze after that step and didn't come closer. I looked at the dude who was holding out a hand.
"Hi. Call me Case. I'm about 5'9" and a half. I love frozen yogurt. What do you want?"
He held out a card and I took it cautiously, as if it were a horcrux. WHORECRUX.
"Travis Michaels actually. My dad is the president of Uptown Sky Records. I have a contract there too. You have serious talent man. I like your song, and your voice. Oh, here's my number. I'll give you my recommendation, as soon as my dad hears you, you'll have a contract in no time. Just thought I'd put myself out there. Stop by, okay?"
I looked at his card. A...contract? To sing?? Me???
I was vaguely aware of three things. The black and white of the card. The Travis dude staring at my hair. And Logan standing a few feet away, watching but not doing anything. I glanced at him but he was staring at the card in my hand, a little pale.
"Thanks Travis dude."
He smiled brightly, "You're welcome-"
"But I don't need this." I held it out to him. He looked at me with an open mouth for a moment before he laughed and pushed it back.
"Keep it. My number too. Just in case." He smiled, put his hands in his pockets and walked away.
I looked at it once before crushing both– the card and his number – in my fist and putting it in my pocket. I don't need it. I don't want it.
Finally Logan was back at my side, now staring at me a little worriedly. Why did he look like that? I should smooth back the wrinkles of worry on his forehead. He should smile.
"Who was that?" PFT, as if he didn't know. I'm almost positive he heard our conversation!
"Some guy named Travis, he gave me a business card for Uptown Sky Records."
"Not a very big company, but I've heard of them." He nodded once but that didn't seem to matter. "Are you...are you going to...audition?"
I made a face. "No! Why would I audition? I don't want to. I'm already in G5."
Color returned to his face and he tried to take an unnoticeable breath. I noticed because I'm a ninja. A ninja who was very close to a Logi-bear.
"Right." He nodded again. "Right."
I stared at him. Huh? "Logan, were you worried I'd leave G5?" Even though I haven't really performed yet?
His eyes widened slightly but he immediately said, "no!" He shook his head and shoved his hands in his pockets. "No. I don't– I just figured. You know. You might be better suited for playing...in a group. Not alone. Not yet, anyway."
"Or maybe you just like singing with me," I snickered like a maniac and punched his shoulder.
"I do."
....I stopped laughing and stared at him. Huh?
He said it almost as if it were an obvious, total truth answer. Almost as if he realized suddenly what he just said, as if he hadn't meant to say it, he snapped to attention and we both seemed to wake up from a dream. At least, that's what I felt like. Sometimes I think that life is just this huge dream/nightmare and I'm still a baby. A baby that's been dropped on its' head repeatedly and hasn't woken up in years.
"Here." He shoved the drink at me. At first I thought it was coffee because that would really be a stupid idea, but it was HOT CHOCOLATE. HOT CHOCOLATE. I REPEAT HOT CHOCOLATE! "Play a little more. Get used to it. I'll take you home after."
"Are you sure? You can just drive me home now. It's probably boring watching–"
"Play, Case." He backed up a few feet and leaned against the building, holding his hot chocolate. "I'm fine."
I don't know if he was really fine or just saying that. But he didn't look bored. He looked relaxed and awake. Maybe he liked hearing, watching me sing– no. He's just trying to get me up to par for the performances. All he's doing is helping me be able to sing in front of crowds.
That's all.
-sigh- I wish that wasn't all.
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So yeah.
I'm truly sorry it's literally been couple years. NO PROMISES SAYING I WILL BE ABLE TO FINISH THIS but lets just say it will always be on the burner. Like not even the back burner, but not on the front burner either. I think it's just burning. Sizzling sorta. Broiling. Steamin'. Yeah.
Honestly guys, I just need motivation xD So LETS HOPE I FIND SOME SOON!
LOVE YOU ALL TO PIECES MY DEAR DUMPLINGS.