*Jayme's POV*
"GET OUT JAYME!" Matt yells, motioning towards the door once again.
But I was frozen. I couldn't move. My whole body felt numb as if my skeleton had turned into jello.
Matt notices that I'm frozen out of fear and confusion, shock and sadness, so he says those three dreadful words once again.
"Jayme, we. Are. OVER!" Matt shouts, red from his uncontrollable rage.
My eyes finally begin to water as a small, weak whimper escapes my fragile, quivering lips.
What had I done wrong? I never cheated, I was always loyal and honest. I spent three years with this boy and now it was all going to waste?
Matt was trying to be patient for me to actually say something, but my voice was nowhere to be found.
I was experiencing the definition of heart broken.
Matt softens finally instead of screaming every word, as he gripped my shoulders and looked intently into my piercing green eyes.
"Jay?" Matt says, trying to tug me back into reality.
My heart aches at the sound of the nickname he used to call me every day.
But it hurt to hear it now.
My eyes were lost into space. My tears, however, were in plain sight and dripping down my cheeks.
Matt then tries a different tactic and presses his gentle lips lightly upon mine.
My body explodes with warmth and comfort, my throbbing heartache dissolving like salt in water, and my whole body feeling ten times lighter.
I try to make the kiss longer but Matt pula away, making the pain come back.
"You have to go now" Matt says, not even feeling sad about it.
I find my voice.
"Th-Three years," I stutter, my voice cracking like egg shells.
Matt becomes quiet for once in this whole argument.
Anger overcomes the pain.
"I have wasted three whole years with you. I have made time for you and I have been there for you. But now none of that matters. Because now you're done with me."
Matt grits his teeth.
I pick up my jacket and slip it onto my body harshly.
"If I knew you would throw me away like this, I would've never gone out with you!" I yell, swinging open his front door and slamming it behind me, running the rest of the way home.
I didn't dare look back.
_______
I sit on my bed, dressed in sweat pants and a north face jacket. I stare outside my window watching the rain pour down on my neighborhood, the rain drops racing down my window.
The weather matched my horrible, dull mood.
I have had no contact with Matthew for a week. Of course I tried calling and messaging, just wanted answers for why he ended it all.
I got nothing.
I watched the rain and fiddled with the drawstrings on my sweats for a while, until my phone ringed.
I jumped, and being the little desperate, broken hearted girl I was, I ran for my phone to be in my hands.
I answer without even looking at the name of the caller.
"Hello?" I answer, my damn sore voice cracking.
"...Uh, hi" they greet. My heart sinks and my stomach twists like a python was strangling my organs.
"...H-Hi Matt" I stammer, wanting to cry into my pillow and hang up on him.
But I needed answers.
"Can I come over really quick? I think you deserve some answers..." Matt says, sounding nervous.
I nod, but then realize he can't see me.
"Yes" I say.
After our awkward goodbyes, I ended the call and then just sat on my bed, hugging my legs to my stomach.
I hear my front door open downstairs and then hear Matt's footsteps come up my stairs.
I lived alone, thankfully, as a twenty year old. I had no one but Matt. And I believed that after this little visit that I would have absolutely no one.
Matt opens my door, and I keep my eyes on my furry, white blanket. If my eyes met his I would start sobbing.
"Uh, hey" Matt greets awkwardly.
I stay silent, playing with the fur on my blanket.
Matt hesitantly comes closer to me. Then, even more hesitantly, sat beside me.
My eyes brim with hot tears, but I don't let out any sobs or whimpers.
I can't show too much weakness. I already seem pretty pathetic.
"Jay-" he starts to say, but my eyes shoot him daggers for using my nickname at this point.
Matt bites his tongue, then clears his throat, awkwardly moving around his accident.
"Jayme" he says, looking down at the blanket I was fiddling with. "I think you deserve some answers since we dated for so long."
Hearing the word "dat-ed" made my heart wrench in agony. But I stay silent.
Matt is silent for so long that I glanced at him to check if his lips were sewed shut.
They luckily weren't.
Matt surprisingly speaks after what felt like sixty minutes.
"I met someone" Matt says, and right when he says it I look at him in shock seeing that he was biting back a smile for my sake.
My jaw drops and my heart shatters.
"While we were dating?!" I fume.
"Yes" Matt says swiftly with no hesitation. By now I wanted to knock his teeth out.
"She's beautiful and amazing to be around and I think I love-"
I shoot up from sitting, grab a picture frame holding a picture of Matt and I from New Years, turn around and chuck it at Matt angrily.
Sadly, I miss from poor aim and the frame shatters behind him.
Matt's eyes widen in shock as he stands up, alarmed now.
Matt glares. "What the hell, Jayme?!"
"Do you think I really want to hear how great your life is with another girl?!" I scream, my throat burning from my piercing volume.
"You should be happy for me!" Matt shouts, his face turning into a red shade from rage.
My jaw drops from shock. Seriously?
"MATT, I'M NOT HAPPY THAT YOU DONT LOVE ME ANYMORE!" I scream, sobs escaping my lips as tears slip out of my eyes next.
Matt freezes, seeming stunned by my words.
"J-...Jayme...just because we're breaking up doesn't mean I don't love you..." Matt whimpers.
I sigh and look down at my hands, tears falling from my eyes to my carpet.
Matt suddenly closes the small gap between us and smashes his lips against mine.
Since I felt desperate and needy, unwanted and neglected, I kiss back and give in to the moment.
The kiss turns into a heated make out, us both putting all our anger and frustration into the harsh kiss.
My legs wrap around Matt, strangling his waist as he tugs harshly on my hair and sticks his tongue down my throat.
An extreme wave of pleasure overcomes us as we then fall onto the bed.
Matt tugs at my shirt and almost takes it off until my brain turns back on.
He doesn't love you anymore.
I quickly scramble out of Matt's grasp and back myself into the corner of my room, hugging myself and watching as Matt sighed and stood back up, the moment being over.
"I think you should go now..." I murmur, not wanting him to go but knowing it was what had to happen.
Matt tries to protest but I avoid his eyes and have a staring contest with my toes.
Matt then angrily hisses air out of his gritted teeth, swings open my bedroom door, and then slams it, leaving my household.
I finally break down, my knees buckling as I fell to the ground and hugged my knees, sobs roaring out of my throat and tears pouring out of my eyes.
I wish I was what he wanted...
_______
Here's part one of Out of Love for you guys!
Part two will be out shortly.
lots of love xoxoxoxo
- abby