The UnSlut Project

By MeghanJoyceTozer

15.7M 301K 79.5K

I was the 6th-grade "slut." And I kept a diary. So I decided to create The UnSlut Project in the hopes that... More

"Kiss Her!"
Crusty Spit
Now everyone thinks Hannah is a slut.
"Why do you let him touch me like that?"
"I love him!"
"EMILY'S BOOBS ARE FAKE"
He's kind of a loser. Not a total loser, though.
I just threw myself on my bed and cried until my face hurt.
I don't care if you hate me for the rest of the time I know you.
"Zach doesn't like you anymore, so fuck off."
But his teeth were a mess and his head was kind of misshapen.
I guess I'll have to dump him as soon as I see him tomorrow.
"Will you go out with me? I really, really... no I don't."
"I hope you're happy."
What is wrong with me?
I hope I can get through school tomorrow without crying in the bathroom.
Only Steph knows the truth, and she won't tell.
There was an awkward silence, and I could feel him looking at me.
"You're like, perfect."
"Did you and Zach fuck?"
"Zach dumped me, right?"
"What if I have waxy build-up in my ear?!"
"As long as your boobs aren't pointy. I hate pointy boobs."
"HIM BOOK." Get it? Like "Hymn book," only stupid.
"Go out with me, Stupid."
"Hanson Posters: 85. Other Posters: 17."
Jenna was trying to make herself throw up and Lisa was laughing.
"But I don't have that much experience... only you."
I think we are soul mates.
"Did you hear the rumors?"
I didn't defend myself. I never do.
But he was on top of me and I didn't want to disappoint him.
Aaron said he had heard that Zach "ate me out."
...then people would think I am even more of a slut than they already do.
I was seriously considering just killing myself.
Hump 'em and Dump 'em!
Why did you all of a sudden hate me after we went to third base?
I didn't feel the pain of it right away. I was just shocked.
I went upstairs and lay down on my parents' bed.
I'm kind of hoping all Zach's friends will ditch him.
Zach told Michelle a really mean joke about Jewish people.
I feel like I've been ripped in half and gutted.
"Do you wanna... go out... oh, nevermind, you're a bitch."
At least he took the time to notice me.
We'll fight in the graveyard after school on Monday.
It's still hard for her to let go.
I think I could hold my own in a fight, but everyone would be rooting for HER.
Suddenly, her face turned angry and she pushed me into the lockers, hard.
People are saying that Steph is going to beat me up.
What goes around comes around, doesn't it?
"You should go out with Scott." I slammed my head into the table.
Something sharp. A little slit. And that would be the end of it.
I'm practicing being nice to everyone and I have made some new kind-of-friends.
All of a sudden, I felt someone pinch my butt!
"Those nice, pretty hands... just like you did for Zach."
Oh, I only wish I could talk to him or something!
That was my first real date, and my parents didn't know about it.
"Would you ever kiss Nathan?"
"Scott told us you made out with him."
"If everyone found out, they would think I'm a slut even more."
"He's going to come over there and beat you up."
"Three way! Orgy!" And the moment was ruined.
She looked really pretty today and I wanted to rip her head off.
Maybe he's falling out of love.
"When are you going to kiss me?"
"Emily, do you like it up the pooper?"
"People give me shit about what you did with Zach."
The phone wasn't ringing, so I was super depressed.
"See this dog? This is my lesbian lover."
Everyone just thinks I'm a slut and I hate it.
"Want to hook up tomorrow?"
I stood still and told him to stop it, and he stuck his hand up my shirt.
I shouldn't even be liking boys yet, honestly.
Nathan and I broke up because he found out what I did with Chris Walker.
I was completely covered in shaving cream and I was freezing cold.
He doesn't seem to judge me because of the reputation I have for being a slut.
"Stop twitching your stomach!"
Alicia told me she doesn't like me because I follow her around.
I am a really big flirt, but deep down I am a really big prude.
I'm going to stop acting so outgoing so boys will not call me a slut.
I need a boyfriend. I don't care who, but preferably someone cute.
Some girls are going to rip my face off when they find out.
I don't know what is going on! Seventh grade is flying by so fast!
Matt has power over everyone - it is so annoying!
"Why haven't you killed yourself yet, you stupid slut?"
He keeps calling me a ho and a whore and a slut.
Never wear underwear that gives you wedgies if you are going to dance.
He is HORRIBLE to me. But I'm in LOVE with him!
I hung up without saying goodbye, completely disgusted with myself.
There was a dance last night and it was fun, I guess.
"I judge boys by how long their schlong is."
I almost wish I had a screwed up life so I could record all of my thoughts.
As soon as we started dancing, he stepped on my toe.
I've never seen his bad side, so I have just assumed that he doesn't have one.
Everyone was talking about it and the boys were giving him high-fives.
I like showing some cleavage sometimes, too.
This was going to be a chick fight!
We decided to keep it on the down low, go in, use the pay phone, and leave.
"He doesn't like me? Because I have big boobs?"
Music by Enya would be playing.
I feel awful for people who are not "popular" because they cannot enjoy it.
Daniel tackled me and as soon as I got to my feet, Louis knocked me back down.
"You know how much we love 'N Sync."
"I bet they're having sex!"
You only want to dance with Emily because she's got big... titawkaninnies.
Romance Coupon: Allows Bearer Naked Cuddling
I purposefully gave myself laryngitis by screaming a lot into a pillow.
Ms. Metcalf laughs when Matt calls me a slut in class.
"This is so stupid."
"She told me SHE DIDN'T BELIEVE IN JESUS!"
Then he grabbed her and tried to force her to do it.
I was petrified. If he tried anything, I wouldn't be able to move.
"Who thinks Emily Lindin is a slut?" They all raised their hands.
They were all scrutinizing my chest, and I felt very self-conscious.
I get to shave my legs, have big boobs, and complain about PMS.
I panicked and flashed them really quickly.
He still has that hold on me.
I was just smashed up against him and I couldn't breathe.
"Don't you EVER fucking TOUCH me again, you STUPID SLUT!"
"But what if you never got back together?"
He knew I was going to dump him so he wanted to dump me first.
"Maybe you should flash them, just to get them off my case."
The only guy that went out with you for a reason other than your tits!
"May I put my tongue on your stomach?"
Someone took a picture of it.
A dramatic change
"I would take a bullet for her."
"I am NOT sending you naked pictures of myself!"
"i love u also i want u to let me squeeze ur boobs"
I am a self-centered, spoiled bitch.
I'm not going to go out with anyone else now, not until high school.
I broke up with Zach.
"We walked to her house, ate her Cheetos, and left."
If I want to have a relationship with him, I can't be trashy.
I try to tell her they are trouble, but she doesn't listen.
The type of place where you could just sit, smoke a cigarette, and think.
"What the hell is a tease?"
Then I slit my left wrist with the razor I use to shave my legs.
I am going to go on a liquid diet and eat only freeze pops.
I decided not to tell anyone.
"I don't care how big her boobs are, don't believe her."
They got sick of her poser-slut act, and now it's just annoying.
What a poser skank. Yuck.
When they make fun of her, she thinks they're flirting.
"Next time you think of hurting yourself, think of me instead."
I like dancing with lots of random guys I don't know.
At first, it felt kind of good.
She will obsess over Matt, and then she will get her ass kicked. LOL.
She shouldn't even be having sex.
I jumped out of the way as she landed flat on her face.
He just kind of stood there dejectedly.
"I'll go out with him, but he needs to ask me himself."
"I was gonna ask you out but I was too afraid."
He looked extremely uncomfortable, and I felt the same way.
We hoped putting a spell on her would make her stop being a slut.
"What the hell is an onion ass?"
There's been a lot of talk that the world is going to end tonight.
Like, the world didn't end.
Intimate sex versus "wild monkey sex."
It hurt like hell.
They made a webpage about how stupid and slutty she is.
i want emily very badly
I guess I need more practice in understanding everything.
"Shut up, Bitch!" he said, and swung his fist into my eye.
"Who will have cyber sex?"
"She cuts her wrists, why not punch herself in the eye?"
I am so infatuated by him, I can't even stand it.
"If you come one step closer, I will personally feed you to rabid goats."
I'm not saying I didn't provoke it
I almost cried out of pure joy.
I felt really... horny. I guess.
We told the waitress it was my birthday, even though it wasn't.
IMAQTpieNUlikeit
"How are you doing?" "Bad. You just broke up with me."
"Guess who likes you!"
Now the question is only when he is going to ask me out.
If I don't let him manipulate me, then I can't get hurt.
I won't ever be able to trust him, and I don't want to!
They're becoming really bad, and I don't want them to screw up.
Matt hooked up with Lisa, which just shows what sluts they both are!
Scattered Pieces
Matt told him you are a slut and he is not into that.
I kinda want to go out with him, but I also love being single.
Not caring. That is definitely the way to go.
"Would you ever let a guy eat you out?"
A genuine smile that starts on the inside and shines its way through to my face.
Our mouths were right next to each other!
"Good job, man!"
Kill List
"Please don't tell anyone."
"He hates you now, and so do we."
What a weirdo.
Your Life
We act like very, very good friends
"Easy-access" outfit
That thing I loved about him that I couldn't identify is gone, now.
Rules To Live By
"That's my girlfriend!"
Coolness.
That always works for you... that look
I'm scared to actually have to face them every day.
I felt like Cinderella.
"The Last Day of School."
Afterword: A Video Message from Emily
Update from the Author

"You think you can trust him, but you really can't."

100K 2.1K 674
By MeghanJoyceTozer

March 5, 1998

Aaron said he wouldn’t go out with Jenna, but he wouldn’t say why not. [Let’s see here…]

But more importantly: I guess Zach does love me. He always hangs out at my locker right before third period. And he calls me nearly every day. Tonight, he called at like, 7pm. We talked for about 45 minutes. He said he is going to a seventh-grade dance and I made him promise not to kiss Amanda Collins or any of the other girls who pursue him.

Then my mom came home from book club. The phone rang, and she answered it, and told whoever it was that I couldn’t come to the phone because I am grounded. A couple of minutes later, Steph called and told my mom it was for homework. [The old “it’s for homework” ruse!] I took the portable phone and went upstairs.

Steph said, “Aaron just called me and asked for Jenna’s number!” I called downstairs and asked my mom who had called me just before Steph did, and she said, “Aaron.” Good, at least he called me first.

I hung up on Steph [!] to call Aaron, because even if he was on the phone with Jenna, he has call waiting. He answered and I said, “Hi, are you talking to her?”

“To Jenna? Yeah. Who is this?” [Ouch.]

“It’s Emily!”

“Oh, hi, what’s up?”

“Are you going to ask Jenna out?”

“No, why?”

“Well, then why did you call her?” [My goodness, I was a Nosy Nancy.]

“I don’t know. Do I have to have a reason? She asked me the same thing. As soon as I told her it was me, she goes, ‘Why are you calling me?’”

“Well, you need a reason to call someone.”

“No… no, you don’t.”

“Well, you can go back and talk to her now, okay?”

“Yeah, okay, bye.”

 Aaron and I have become really good friends. [Clearly.]

My sister said, “You think you can trust him, but you really can’t. He’s a smooth talker. Did you notice how he just started calling you after you went to third base with Zach? Do you think there might be a reason for that? Like, maybe he wants some?”

I shrugged. Maybe that’s true. Aaron and I have a flirtatious friendship. If Zach saw us talking together, he would get jealous.

But you know what? Aaron hasn’t hugged me in the longest time. He touches my hands a lot [like one does], but he hasn’t hugged me lately. I think I’ll tell him that he needs to hug me more. He’ll probably laugh, in that cute way of his.

Zach:

Calls me a lot, Is in my grade, Likes me for who I am, Is embarrassed to be going out with me, Popular, Must love me since we’ve been going out for so long, Sometimes makes me mushy inside, Must be love, Not a very good liar, Critical of whatever I do, say, or wear, Can’t hold a deep conversation, Doesn’t understand how people think, only how he thinks, Doesn’t have any zits, Is in the popular group and is one of the most popular boys, A good kisser, Very huggable, Told me he loved me twice, Has a pointy nose

Aaron:

Calls me a lot, Hugs me and touches me, Jenna would hate me if I went out with him, Older, Has a reputation for using girls just to get some, Always makes me mushy inside, Could be infatuation, Smooth talker, Tells my sister, “Emily is cooler than you are”, I’m not sure if he can hold a deep conversation, Doesn’t know how to take a hint, Has a lot of (a few) zits, Doesn’t really have a group, just runs around talking to everyone, I don’t know how he kisses, Very huggable, Tells me he loves me, but he says that to everyone, Has a big nose

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