| 22 |
❝ Are you made of Copper and Tellurium? Because you are CuTe. ❞
CHARLIE WAS CURRENTLY curled up in a ball on her cramped twin bed. She couldn't sleep.
[what a surprise]
She was too hot to be under her giant comforter, so all she had was a thin baby blanket she'd had since she was young that barely covered her whole body. Her phone was illuminating her dark room and lighting up her face underneath the small blanket.
The time at the top of her phone read 12:18, and a little sigh escaped her lips. Tumblr was currently her main procrastination tool.
One post made a laugh slip out (louder than she expected) and she froze, hoping no one heard her.
Nothing. Just some loud snores coming from her parent's room, soft music from Skylar's, the sound of a television in Lucas's, and...silence from Hazel's room.
It was a couple minutes later (after laying silently in a frightened state, assuring that her family was, in fact, asleep) when she read a post that caused her to pause.
siriusly-fandoms:
i want to be with someone who will come over to my house and just watch Netflix with me. i want to be with someone who will make up a secret language only the two of us understand, along with a handshake we do only with each other. i want to be with someone who will blast music in their car and scream-sing it with me. i want to be with someone who will answer my late-night texts and call me in the blink of an eye and talk until i fall asleep. i want to be with someone who appreciates me and likes me for me.
Subconsciously her thoughts darted to Teddy.
No. Not now.
She cleared him from her head and read the next post.
sophieclaflin:
BUILD MY PERFECT GUY
• nice hair
• nOt an asshole
• humor. humor is top priority.
• wiLL taLk bOOKS wiTh mE!
• good! music! taste!
• pretty eyes!!1!1!!1!1!1
• jawline
• nice face
• is nerdy aSF
• will try/pretend to enjoy things i like as to not rain on my parade
• will give me hugs when i'm feeling sad
• or when i just want a hug
• will just chill w/ me and binge watch
• will kiss me. a lot
Shut up. Shut up, brain. Shut up Tumblr. Shut up. Shut up. Stupid Tumblr user sophieclaflin. Stupid. Shut up.
Charlotte shut off her phone.
She couldn't think of that right now.
Why not?
Finals are soon, she argued with herself, reciting what usually flitted through her head. We're best friends, and I don't want to ruin in. Malcolm has a crush on me, and if I told him I didn't like him and dated his cousin instead, he's never talk to me again.
Malcolm, however, was a very understanding person. Besides, she didn't think that she could stay just friends with Teddy much longer.
Screw it.
She would just let her have this one. Charlotte didn't know where she'd end up, but at least she knew she'd be happy.
She fell asleep (yes-fell asleep) with Teddy in her dreams. Dream-Teddy running towards her with a smile and engulfing her in a hug. Dream-Teddy pointing out constellations to her under the starry skies. Dream-Teddy slowly waltzing with her to the Beatles in her bedroom.
She actually fell asleep. Thoughts and hopes and desires rumbled around her brain. Even though he wasn't there physically, he still helped her sleep. Unbelievable.
Even in dreamland, he was there for her.
•|•|•
Charlotte called Shane after she ate breakfast. She wanted answers. Malcolm and Teddy were on her mind.
"You actually slept?" he inquired (again).
"Yes," she said, rolling her eyes. "Look, I have a question."
"Hit me."
"About the notes..."
"Charlotte, you're still bugging about that? It's probably just some kid playing a prank on you," he sighed, exasperated.
She furrowed her eyebrows. "Yeah, of course I'm still 'bugging' about this. The notes are really important to me, Shane."
"Sorry, sorry, It's early," he mumbled. "Go on."
"The note writer said in the note the next day that they were absent," she continued. "You, Teddy, and Malcolm were all absent. Was it just a coincidence, or...?"
He was quiet on the other line for a couple minutes, and in that time, Charlotte had pulled out that specific note she had gotten all those months ago. She smoothed it out and laid on her stomach on her bed with her legs crossed behind her. These damn notes.
"Well, you've already met Violet, right?"
"Y-yeah, if you called that meeting." Violet. Apparently she was the same, according to Teddy. Once Charlotte freaked out on him due to too much pressure and overwhelming feeling, he took her home and she laid in bed the whole night, tossing and turning. Charlie texted him the next day to tell him it was just a freak thing and nothing to worry about, she had just overreacted.
"Malcolm texted both of us really late at night one night, yelling at us to get to the hospital. We both rushed over and Malcolm was there and we heard about Violet. He was an absolute mess, just a sobbing mess. We all were, but I'd never seen him like that. He didn't want to leave the hospital but his mom finally forced him, saying he needed some sleep. He invited us over and we slept over his house, making the decision to stay home from school the next day to go to the hospital again."
"Oh," she blurted out. "Oh God. Okay."
To think about all three boys crying over the life of a young girl was heartbreaking. Horrible. Violet should be alive. Alive. For Malcolm. For Teddy. For Shane. For everyone.
"Gotta go, Teddy's coming soon to tutor," she replied with a queasy stomach.
She shut off her phone with a shaky breath.
Teddy wasn't really coming until later, around three or something. She wished he would come over now, however. Her brain was about to burst.
Okay. Okay. Time to get ready. Yes. That was what she would do to get her mind off of this shit. So much new information. So much.
Dressed in a Beatles shirt (preparing for the thumbs up from Teddy) and a black skater skirt, she was feeling a little girly today. As girly as it got. Or maybe it was just her newfound screw it attitude kicking up a notch.
She had texted him and told him to meet her in her bedroom; usually they studied in the bookstore, but a new book had come out and it was a madhouse. Her father was currently down there manning the security side of things.
Charlotte heard a knock on her door.
She was nervous. She shouldn't have been nervous, he was her best friend! All they were doing was studying. Nervous. Nerves. Slightly sweating and all hot and clammy and biting her nails and anxiousness.
The door swung open and out popped his head from behind the door, his ink-black hair surprisingly brushed and calmly falling over his forehead like rain, instead of the usual hurricane.
"H-hey!" Damnit. She hated how this happened. All she needed to say was 'hey', but when she saw his blue eyes widen when he saw her, and his smile so warm and aimed towards her, she was doomed to fail.
"Aren't you looking fancy," he said, giving her a thumbs up for the shirt. They did their handshake, Charlie ending off with 'Sectumsempra!' whilst Teddy whipped up 'Expecto Patronum!'.
"Thanks," Charlie quickly mumbled, patting the bed beside her. "Saved you a seat."
"How thoughtful," he teased, and plopped on her right. "So I've got a ton more problems for you. Just tell me when you've finished with a couple and I'll check. If you have a question, shoot."
"Will do," she responded, grabbing a pencil as he fished for the papers and books from his backpack he was carrying.
While she did the math, he usually searched the bookstore for
interesting novels, so instead of doing that, he searched for interesting objects.
Square that and multiply pi and then divide by the square root of the quantity of...
It was around ten minutes later, she'd presume, when he interrupted her thinking.
"I didn't know you wear glasses," he stated in his gravelly voice.
She gulped and put her pencil down. "I don't. I wear contacts every once and a while. I usually go blind."
"Huh," the lanky nerd said. He held up the ugly, circle-rimmed glasses an cocked his head towards her. "I can't picture these on you."
"Really?" she replied with a laugh, eyeing him and the glasses nervously. "Well, I can't really picture you without glasses. I saw you without them maybe, like, once, but that was it."
"Swap?" he asked. "You go glasses, I take mine off?"
She reluctantly bobbed her head in agreement and grabbed the glasses with her shaky fingers. They were a brown and yellow combination, nearly tie dye on the frame. The rims were rounded and overall, really dorky. The last time she wore these things was... Gosh, a couple of years? Sure, her mom kept getting the prescription updated, but...
"Okay, turn around," she instructed. "Then we'll do a one two three and you'll turn around."
Teddy agreed, and she saw his square glasses now in his hand. Charlotte took a deep breath, and put on the glasses.
First observation: she could see a lot clearer. She could read the spines of the books on her bookcase, she could see every single detail on every picture she had hung up above her desk, pictures of her with Hazel and Skylar and Spencer and Lucas, one with all of them as well as Nova and Camerin, friends of theirs.
Second: she really needed to clean her room.
A light gasp had escaped her mouth when she put them on; she wasn't used to seeing so clearly. She rarely wore contacts, mainly because those things were a freaking pain to put in.
"Ready?" he murmured. "One..."
Charlie's breathing became fast and unnatural. He won't call you ugly, Charlotte, her thoughts reasoned with her. It's Teddy.
"Two," he said slowly, as if he could hear her breathing speeding up.
He's not like the rest of the school. He won't call you names. He won't do any of that. It's Theodore. Theodore Orion.
"Three," he whispered, and turned around.
She heard him hitch his breath a little at her, but she did the same. With glasses, she could see his eyes so much clearer, so much better. There were so many freckles dotting his cheeks like constellations yet to be connected. Stars. Stars dotted his cheeks. The ocean lay above his nose on either side, wide, crashing, waves smashing, storm whirling, such a dark blue color.
Crashing against the Earth, which now had glasses in front of it. Waves crashing against the rocks and dirt and sand and dragging it closer, closer.
Pulling her closer.
I thought it was like a star, or a stellar collision.
Freckles on his forehead, a multitude of stars, unable to count, infinite possibilities. The stars leading to the dark abyss that was space [his hair]. Onyx colored and sprinkled over the stars.
It's when two stars collide. Two stars, whipping around, until suddenly, they crash. Then the stars either merge, or destroy.
She touched her glasses with a deep breath. He hasn't said anything. He hasn't said anything. He hasn't said anything. He hasn't said an-
"God, you're so beautiful," he breathed out.
Charlotte's heart stopped.
The ocean was coaxing her to step off of her bed take a step forward. The ocean creating a massive storm in the pit of her stomach and a howling tsunami tearing up her heart. The stars getting closer. She could now feel the void of ink-black space between her fingers, so soft and thick.
And then the ocean and the Earth collided.
His lips were the familiar velvety feeling against hers. Her hands were in his hair and her chest was pressed up against his. Her glasses were caught in the middle of the storm, crooked on her nose and digging into Teddy's cheek.
Screw it.
There was no way studying was even a possibility now.
He was so tall compared to her. She struggled to keep their lips connected. Her arms were loosely wrapped around his neck, his nose smushed into the side of her cheek. As if he noticed her difficulty, he hauled her up, causing her to quickly wrap her legs around his waist.
They stopped kissing for a second, their foreheads resting against each other. He laughed lightly through his heavy breathing and looked up into her eyes, his eyelashes nearly touching her glasses. "Shorty."
"Hey!" she replied softly, and poked the back of his neck. He flinched.
Her stomach was in a butterfly frenzy, their bodies so close he could probably feel her heart beating a mile a minute.
Her chin was resting on his shoulder, her arms squeezing under his arms to hold tight. Her cheek was laying against his, his cheek soft and his black hair tickled on her skin. It felt strange when he talked, his lips brushing against her cheek like a rainstorm, the wet and cold sensation on her pale skin, leaving her body feeling numb.
"You're my sunshine," he whispered breathily.
She squeezed his waist with her legs tighter, clinging to him like a starfish, all her arms and legs wrapped around him snuggly, holding on for dear life.
"Why are you so distant, Charlotte?" he whispered, the sound making its way down her spine. "Right when I think I've made progress, you pull away."
She uncurled her legs from his waist, standing a foot away from him. "I just have a lot on my mind right now."
Crush. Note writer. Malcolm. Best friends. Mockingjay Part Two. School. Finals. Violet. Hazel. Kiss. Mistake. Kiss. Mistake. Mistake.
"Oh," he added, a little spaced out.
"Yeah."
She was on her bed again, and he was leaning against her window.
"What are we, Charlie?" he asked, running a hand through his fluffy, ruffled hair.
Charlotte's chest heaved. Her heart pumped in her body like a a fist to the face, bam bam, bam bam, bam bam.
Mistake. Friends. Malcolm. Best friends.
"Confused as fuck," she blurted out, her brain hurting. The minute the sentence came out of her mouth, she froze, not realizing she said that out loud. She glanced at Teddy, who had his eyes wide at her response. He must have not seen that reply coming either.
He laughed. "I'll ask the question when you're less confused, then."
"Alright," she smiled. "I'd like that."
Then the awkward geek walked over to her bed from the window he was sitting against and leaned over her, tilting her chin up so the earth met the ocean, one last time. One last wave, one last crash, until a deafening silence.
He kissed her forehead, his warm, wet, slightly chapped lips creating a fire in her stomach. "Sweet dreams, Sunshine."
He gathered his things and walked out of her room.
She was definitely going to fail her finals at this rate.
a/n
THIS IS LIKE MY FOURTH TIME PUBLISHING THIS CHAPTER HOPEFULLY THIS TIME IT ACTUALLY WORKS I SWEAR TO FUCKING
I AM SO ANNOYED RIGHT NOW I WORKED ON THIS CHAPTER ALL DAY OH MYG AHKSDBAGJAJKVNIUARVSKDNGLKSDF
speaking of tumblr, follow my writing tips/fanart account @sophieclaflin (tumblr on the external link) ! if you have any fanart, send it my way! also yes, that is me on the side. probably going to take the picture down soon, but i'm just so excited!!! my mom cut my hair super short and i love it!!!!
how was this chapter? did it meet expectations? was it worth the wait? i hope so. i'm not sure about it at the moment, i'm a little conflicted. BUT TEDLIE. THE KISS! what did you like most/least about the chapter?
thank you all so so so much for the 74k & 5k votes. i never thought this book could get so far and i'm astonished. thank you thank you thank you.
ps. school is starting soon, and when school starts, updates might get a little rocky. sorry :-(
dedication to @ellapant_ who said "Thank you author person for shedding light on a very real thing that affects a lot of people <3" (on Charlie's anxiety/constant worrying thoughts)
GOALS:
77k reads in total
175 votes
300 comments