Chapter 12: What A Struggle
I woke up at half past noon on Saturday with 12 unread messages from Alice, who was in desperate need of my help, along with our other friend, Cam. I furrowed my eyebrows as I skimmed the messages. Swearing silently, I got up and walked to the bathroom. After changing into day clothes, I packed my pockets with the necessities and headed down the hall towards my brothers room. Carelessly, I shoved open the door.
"Leo, can you give me a ride?" I said, trailing off towards the end when I saw that the top bunk of my brother's bed was empty.
"He went to work," Phoenix mumbled from a heap of blankets on the bottom bunk. My eyes widened when I remembered the events of last night. I'd forgotten all about them. "But if you give me a minute, I can give you a ride."
"No, it's fine," I blurted as I began exiting the room. I couldn't help but notice that his morning voice was quite nice. I stumbled over something on my brother's messy floor, catching myself before I could fall. My face began to heat up as I began to panic.
"Where do you need to go?" Phoenix asked as he slowly began getting out of bed.
"It's fine," I insisted. I'd rather walk the six miles to Alice's house than take an awkward ride with Phoenix. Perhaps if the events of last night hadn't happened, I'd have accepted the ride. But now...things are just awkward. But then again, they were awkward before.
"You wouldn't have asked for a ride if you didn't need it," Phoenix spoke as he sat up, running his hands through his hair. "So I'll ask again, where do you need to go?"
I sighed as I looked at my phone. She really needs me now, not 5 hours from now, and especially not covered in sweat and most likely tears. "Alice's house, it's near the mall," I told him.
"Okay, give me ten minutes," he informed me as he yawned shortly afterwards. I nodded before ducking out of the room and walking downstairs towards the living room. I placed my hand to my forehead as I dropped on the couch.
Phoenix came down the steps slowly and I listened to his every step. He patted the back of the couch and I stood up, closing my eyes and sighing before following him out of the house. We approached his home and he unlocked the car, opening the door for me. I avoided eye contact as I ducked into the passenger's seat. Entering the other side of the car, he glanced at me.
"Why are you so nervous?" he asked me and I looked at him and blinked a few times, struggling to think of an appropriate response. What if you try and talk about it again? Then I'll have to dive out of the window. Maybe Elliot's right about your feelings for me. Then I'll have to dive out of the window. What if you try and kiss me again? Then I'll have to dive out of the window. In the end, my body will go through the window and I'd prefer it to stay seated in the car.
"Nervous? What are you talking about? I'm not nervous," I blurted. He's on to me.
"Yeah you are," he responded knowingly as he started the car.
"No, I'm not," I retorted, shaking my head fiercely.
"Your leg is shaking the car, you're tapping your fingers like a crazy woman, and you're avoiding eye contact like you just killed a man," he explained.
"Maybe I did," I snapped, angry that he proved me right. "Or maybe I will."
He scoffed, shaking his head as he started the car. "I'd like you see you try."
"Wouldn't you?" I muttered under my breath.
Shooting me an odd look, he began speaking again. "You didn't answer my question."
"What question?" I inquired.
"Why are you so nervous?" he reminded me. "You think I'm going to try to kill you or something?"
"Not kill..." I muttered. "Maybe kiss," I said even quieter.
He glanced at me for a moment as he began pulling out of the driveway. "At least you're acknowledging it," he muttered.
"Yeah, well, I don't want to think about it," I grunted.
"I wouldn't have actually kissed you, you know that right?" he inquired.
"Because of our agreement, right?" I asked him.
"Yeah, that and I'm not going to force myself on you," he scoffed. "I've been raised better than that and I respect you."
"Yeah, I hope you'd respect women; you have four sisters," I retorted.
"Speaking of them, Paige and Alex have been asking about you, by the way," he told me. Those are his two older sisters who are in college and I guess you can say I was close with them. We'd play together when we were younger and they'd protect me from their brother.
"Yeah, what have they been asking?" I inquired.
He glanced away from me and shrugged. "They've been asking if you've been abusing me still," he sighed.
I gaped at him. "You're such an idiot!" I hissed and he began laughing. "They don't actually think I hurt you, right?"
"No, they love you more than they love me," he explained. "They've been asking how you've been and if I've been treating you nicely."
"Were you honest? Did you tell them how you harass me every day? How you make me cry all the time?" I asked him.
"I do not make you cry," he responded. "Right?" he asked, seeming a bit panicked.
"I'd never shed a tear over you," I snorted as I looked out the window.
"Thank you?" he asked.
"It wasn't a compliment," I reiterated.
+ + +
After Phoenix dropped me off and told me to text him if I needed to get picked up, I approached Alice's front door. I knocked twice, waiting for an answer. When there wasn't one, I wriggled the doorknob, finding the door to be opened. I glanced in the driveway, noticing that Alice's mother's car wasn't there. I slipped inside and closed the door behind me, making my way up to Alice's room. The door was open and she was lying on her bed, on her back, with tearstained cheeks and a large stuffed cat in her arms.
"Alice?" I spoke, trying not to startle her.
"What?" she mumbled into the stuffed animal.
"You okay?" I asked as I walked to the edge of her bed and sat down.
"No," she told me. "My heart is broken."
"What happened?" I asked her. She rolled over so she was facing me and she sniffled, staring at her entwined hands.
"I managed to gather up the nerve to ask Valerie to hang out so we saw a movie and got a bite to eat. I tried to be casual and ask if she was seeing anyone but she just looked at me and told me that she didn't like girls. It was so awkward. I mean, I could tell she was uncomfortable and I just wanted to run away. I don't think I can face her ever again," my best friend ranted.
"It sucks that Valerie missed out on such a great person. Any girl would be lucky to have you and soon enough you'll find the right girl," I told Alice.
"Why do I only like straight girls?" she sighed as she placed her hands over her eyes.
"Why do I like guys who like Avery?" I inquired. "And as far as homecoming committee goes, I'll work with you. Phoenix can work with Valerie."
"Phoenix doesn't," Alice spoke, confusing me.
"What?" I asked.
"Phoenix doesn't like Avery," she explained.
"Yeah, I know," I told her.
"So you don't only like guys who like Avery," Alice informed me, earning a scoff.
"I do not like Phoenix," I told her with a groan. "Not at all."
"You two have been spending a lot of time together. Come to think of it, you never tell us anything about him. Have you guys kissed yet?" she asked.
"No!" I called out. "Definitely not."
Alice sat up and examined my face. I stared down at her blanket and she gasped. "You guys kissed! Oh, my gosh!"
"I'm supposed to be helping you. We're not supposed to be talking about me," I told her.
"I don't want to talk about me anymore. I need a distraction," she expressed. With a sly grin, she leaned forward, wiggling her eyebrows. "So...is he a good kisser?"
"We didn't kiss! We're just friends, if that. I'm not even attracted to him. He's Phoenix..." I trailed. I felt the heat rush to my face and she stared at me, waiting for me to continue. "We almost—," I started but she completely flipped out.
"You guys—holy—dude—," Alice attempted to speak but I put my hand over her mouth.
"I will tell you everything if you just stop talking," I hissed and she nodded.
"We're the only ones here. Who's going to hear me?" she informed me.
"Where's Cam?" I inquired.
"Babysitting," Alice answered. "Does she know what you're about to tell me?"
"No," I informed her. "So when I tell her on Monday, act surprised."
"Okay, hurry up," Alice insisted.
I began telling her about how Phoenix almost kissed me and how he even admitted to it. It took approximately 20 minutes to get through a normally three minute story because she kept gasping and inserting unnecessary commentary. "I knew it!" Alice burst out.
"Knew what?" I asked.
"That he likes you!" she blurted.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow your roll there cowgirl," I spoke. "We do not know that."
"Are you an idiot?" Alice asked me in a serious tone. "He confessed to wanting to kiss you. What more do you want?"
"Yeah, and I wouldn't mind locking lips with Elliot but that doesn't mean I like him," I told Alice.
"The cute Spanish kid?" Alice inquired. "Cam talks about him all the time. He's in one of her classes and he asked to borrow a pencil from her. She wouldn't stop talking about it."
"Well, he has a girlfriend," I told her. "So Cam's out of luck."
"How'd you even meet him?" Alice asked.
"Phoenix introduced me to him in hopes of getting me a homecoming date," I explained.
"What?" Alice asked.
"The reason we started talking a lot was because he promised to find me a homecoming date," I admitted.
"You're going to homecoming?" she asked. "Definitely?"
I sighed, shrugging. "I don't see much of a point now," I told her. I mean, I'd be completely content going with Camryn and Alice, but I doubt Alice is going now, and Camryn already told me that, odds are she isn't going to be able to go.
"Why not?" she asked, earning a shrug from me.
"Who am I going to hang out with?" I asked.
"Phoenix," she responded.
"Like that won't be awkward," I told her.
"It won't," she informed me. "I mean, Phoenix is...Phoenix. When does he make things awkward?"
"When he tells me he wanted to kiss me," I told her.
"Touché. I'd go with you, but I don't want to deal with Valerie. I just want to cut all ties with homecoming, including the committee, but I'm not going to give her the satisfaction," Alice sighed.
"There are only six more meetings left," I told her. "You can do it."
"Will Phoenix be okay that I stole his partner?" Alice asked.
I shrugged. "He doesn't have to be. He has no say in this."
"Ouch," she smirked. "Someone's a bit upset."
"I'm quite okay. You seem to be the one that's upset," I remarked. "That's why I came here- to help you, not to talk about my nonexistent love life."
"Okay, okay," Alice grinned. "So have you bought your dress, yet?"
I sighed, shaking my head. "No, I haven't."
"Why not?" she asked.
"I don't know! Does it matter?" I sighed.
"Well, kind of, I mean, you do need a dress to go to homecoming. And Phoenix has to get a matching tie and such- you can't exactly get those things on short notice, especially if it's a unique color," she pressed. I glared at her and she smiled sheepishly. "I mean, take your time."
+ + +
The weekend went by in a blur. I did my homework and I avoided society at all costs, only leaving my room for food. Avery hung out with me in my room, but only to question me about what happened with Phoenix. Speaking of the green eyed demon, he was in the room beside me until early Sunday morning, which is when he left so he could go babysit his little sisters.
When Monday came by, I had to tell Cam everything that happened, seeing as Avery was nearly breaking at the seams to tell our other best friend. Once I told her, she insisted that I get with him, in which way, I'm unsure, but I shot down her suggestions. Instead, I avoided him for the rest of the day. I even had to ignore Elliot twice; he was with Phoenix and he called my name, so I pretended I didn't hear him. I had a feeling he knew I had heard him because his voice was filled with amusement when he called me a second time.
"You know I can tell when you're ignoring me, right?" Phoenix asked as I hastily stuffed things into my locker. The sound of his voice caused me to pause before I continued to place my useless textbooks into the shelves in the small compartment.
"I'm not ignoring you," I told him.
"I can also tell when you're lying," Phoenix responded and I shrugged.
"I just haven't seen you, is all," I explained. "And not to be rude or anything, but we're not exactly friends."
I slammed my locker shut and Phoenix had a small frown on his face. It disappeared and he shrugged slowly. He turned and walked away, earning a guilty frown from me. I instantly felt bad but there was no way I was going to call him back over and take back what I said. I watched as he walked down the hall with his hands shoved in his jacket pockets and I sighed.
"Phoenix!" I called, feeling the guilt course through me. If what Elliot said is right and Phoenix does like me, what would I be if I treated him like trash? Not a good person, that's for sure. He stopped walking, turning around and giving me a curious look. I approached him quickly and cleared my throat. "I was just kidding," I attempted and he pursed his lips, narrowed his eyes, and shook his head.
"No, you weren't," he replied.
I sighed, rolling my eyes. "Okay, I wasn't. But I was wrong," I told him.
"About?" he inquired. I began rocking back and forth on my feet, trying to think of something to say. "You're not very good at this."
"Shut up," I snapped, shooting him a glare. One corner of his mouth perked up and I sighed. "I was wrong when I said that we aren't friends."
"And?" he pressed.
"I'm sorry for ignoring you," I confessed.
"And?" he continued.
"And? What else is there to say?" I retorted.
"I don't know, I was just trying to see what I could get out of you," he shrugged and grinned. "By the way, I knew, deep down, that you felt like we were friends."
I glared at him. "Don't push it, Phoenix."
+ + +
The following day, I was ready for homecoming committee, where I'd be partnered up with my best friend Alice. I still had the task of telling Phoenix about the new arrangements. Since Mrs. Aaron, my Pre-Calculus teacher was absent, I decided to leave early and go to Phoenix's class so we could walk to homecoming committee together. I was there for about a minute before the bell rang, and the first person to leave the room was the devil himself- Phoenix. He whipped around the corner so fast that he almost bumped into me.
"Where are you in a rush to be?" I asked him, furrowing my eyebrows as I regained my balance.
"Actually, I was going to your locker," he told me.
"Why so fast?" I asked him.
He shrugged as he walked alongside me. "Why not?" he inquired.
I rolled my eyes at him. "So I have something to tell you," I informed him.
He looked down at me and quirked an eyebrow. "What?" he asked.
"Well, you know how Alice liked Valerie, right?" I asked him, earning a nod. "And remember how you drove me to Alice's house?"
"Just cut to the chase," Phoenix expressed.
"Long story short, Valerie isn't into girls and now Alice and I are going to partner up at homecoming committee," I told Phoenix.
"So I have to work with Valerie?" Phoenix asked with a sigh.
"Yeah, but I mean, she's pretty, at least," I told him.
He gave me a flat look. "I don't care about that," he replied. "I joined homecoming committee to annoy you."
"You can annoy me after homecoming committee, in the car, or something," I told him.
"This isn't because of how I tried to kiss you, right?" he asked quietly.
"No," I told him honestly. "It's because of what happened with Alice."
"Are you sure?" he inquired, earning a sigh in response.
"I'm positive," I told him.