A Touch of Grace

[ chapter twelve: what a struggle ]

Chapter 12: What A Struggle

I woke up at half past noon on Saturday with 12 unread messages from Alice, who was in desperate need of my help, along with our other friend, Cam. I furrowed my eyebrows as I skimmed the messages. Swearing silently, I got up and walked to the bathroom. After changing into day clothes, I packed my pockets with the necessities and headed down the hall towards my brothers room. Carelessly, I shoved open the door.

"Leo, can you give me a ride?" I said, trailing off towards the end when I saw that the top bunk of my brother's bed was empty.

"He went to work," Phoenix mumbled from a heap of blankets on the bottom bunk. My eyes widened when I remembered the events of last night. I'd forgotten all about them. "But if you give me a minute, I can give you a ride."

"No, it's fine," I blurted as I began exiting the room. I couldn't help but notice that his morning voice was quite nice. I stumbled over something on my brother's messy floor, catching myself before I could fall. My face began to heat up as I began to panic.

"Where do you need to go?" Phoenix asked as he slowly began getting out of bed.

"It's fine," I insisted. I'd rather walk the six miles to Alice's house than take an awkward ride with Phoenix. Perhaps if the events of last night hadn't happened, I'd have accepted the ride. But now...things are just awkward. But then again, they were awkward before.

"You wouldn't have asked for a ride if you didn't need it," Phoenix spoke as he sat up, running his hands through his hair. "So I'll ask again, where do you need to go?"

I sighed as I looked at my phone. She really needs me now, not 5 hours from now, and especially not covered in sweat and most likely tears. "Alice's house, it's near the mall," I told him.

"Okay, give me ten minutes," he informed me as he yawned shortly afterwards. I nodded before ducking out of the room and walking downstairs towards the living room. I placed my hand to my forehead as I dropped on the couch.

Phoenix came down the steps slowly and I listened to his every step. He patted the back of the couch and I stood up, closing my eyes and sighing before following him out of the house. We approached his home and he unlocked the car, opening the door for me. I avoided eye contact as I ducked into the passenger's seat. Entering the other side of the car, he glanced at me.

"Why are you so nervous?" he asked me and I looked at him and blinked a few times, struggling to think of an appropriate response. What if you try and talk about it again? Then I'll have to dive out of the window. Maybe Elliot's right about your feelings for me. Then I'll have to dive out of the window. What if you try and kiss me again? Then I'll have to dive out of the window. In the end, my body will go through the window and I'd prefer it to stay seated in the car.

"Nervous? What are you talking about? I'm not nervous," I blurted. He's on to me.

"Yeah you are," he responded knowingly as he started the car.

"No, I'm not," I retorted, shaking my head fiercely.

"Your leg is shaking the car, you're tapping your fingers like a crazy woman, and you're avoiding eye contact like you just killed a man," he explained.

"Maybe I did," I snapped, angry that he proved me right. "Or maybe I will."

He scoffed, shaking his head as he started the car. "I'd like you see you try."

"Wouldn't you?" I muttered under my breath.

Shooting me an odd look, he began speaking again. "You didn't answer my question."