E d w a r d s
The next morning I was hesitant to actually get out of bed. I was still emotionally drained from Harry and our small encounter last night in my bedroom. I smelled gingerbread and waffles and instantly my stomach grumbled. I roll my eyes and sit up, groaning quietly while I stretch my stiff muscles.
My feet pad against the cold floor and I put my hair up into a pony tail, walking into my bathroom. After I finish my business I head downstairs, hearing small talk as I make my way down.
My eyes fall on familiar long curly hair and a broad back. My stomach flips instantly and my heart stops. I stay quiet as I make my way to them, but to my unliking, my mother spots me and grins, and of course Harry turns around, his eyes making contact with mine. I avert my gaze and smile at her.
"Mornin' mom," she notices my awkward
state and winks at me, and Harry just turns around slowly. I hear him sigh to himself.
"I made your favorite, waffles with strawberries and whipped cream," I smiled at her gently
"Thank you actually, I never have the time to make this back at uni, so it's cherished," I give her a wink and she laughs lightly, looking at Harry, soon noticing his awkward behavior. I sit two stools away from him and hear him huff to himself; continuing to eat his bowl of cereal. I take small bites of my waffles and give my mom small glances. My mother was the first person to actually find out I developed feelings for Harry. She was actually the only person I trusted besids Harry, and I liked it that way.
I suppose that's why she keeps sending me these questioning looks, because things are never really this way with me and Harry and now we're kind of off.
"So Harry," my mother says out of no where, leaning her elbows on the counter, looking at us both. I roll my eyes and continue to take small bites of my tasty breakfast. I wish she could just leave it and not interfere like a mother for once. I'm 22 and I'm still having my mother treat me like a child sometimes.
Harry looked up at her and gave her a grinned smile, and my insides went crazy, so I looked at my plate, suppressing a smile that wanted to paint it's way onto my lips.
Although I was pissed at him, he still did things to me no one else could.
"How's things up at uni? Meet any nice lady friends?" I silently choked on my waffle and turn my head so I wouldn't look at them. I heard Harry chuckle and clear his throat as I silently tried not to choke to death.
"Er, uni is great, and no.. I-I haven't," and my mom hummed; turning around to see Harry looking down at his bowl of cereal and eating silently again, and my mother smirking towards me. I only scolded her and drank my juice, soothing my throat.
"I'm gonna go up to my room, excuse me," I kissed my mother's cheek and went up stairs, entering my room and shutting the door behind me. I went outside to the balcony and sat on the chair, feeling the slight warm yet cool air, blanketing my skin. I closed my eyes and sat against it, putting my feet under me and humming a song I used to sing during every photography class.
It was a song by Hands Like Houses, it was probably my high school favorite.
I hear the door slide open and close, but I continue to hum, my eyes closed. The side beside me dips slightly and the smell of cookies and cologne fills my nostrils, causing my stomach to do the impossible and God was my mind corrupted with the thoughts of him and the thoughts of what we could be. I just wished too much. And it tired me. I hoped too much and he deflated my heart. I loved too deeply and my soul was bittering, but I'd managed to say just the slightest sane because I've had him in my life for over fifteen years, and it'd be the tiniest yet hugest thing in my life at this point because he was here.
"Are you still mad at me, Vi?" He rasped quietly, and I'd opened my eyes, the sunlight a little too bright for the adjustment of my eyesight.
"Does Darcy act the nicest when he first meets Elizabeth? And does Heathcliff give mercy to everyone he was harming, mentally, emotionally and physically?"
I look over to him, meeting his green Apple-looking colored- eyes and he sighed while sitting up, closing them; reopening them slowly.
"If you're using both of my favorite books I suppose you are because you don't really like those books," I only stayed quiet, looking down at his sweater, the same one he wore last night when he came over to my room for the night until we sort of argued over something silly.
Childish really. Most people would see it that way. But I don't. It's mostly because he was too close minded in some particular things and refused to open up to me. I was his best friend and he still yet hasn't told me what was going on with his father.
"I'm sorry, Violet, please for the love of god, I can't stand it when you're mad at me," I scoff and stand up, leaning against the railing.
"Sorry," I mutter sarcastically under my breath, looking ahead at the park all the way down the street. No one was there, and it looked peaceful.
How lucky..
"You can't honestly stay mad at me over this right?" My blood boils and I turn around as soon as the words leave his lips because how dare he say something so fucking inconsiderate.
How fucking dare he practically say I don't care about how he feels like. How his mental or emotional state is.
"You're such a fucking prick, Harry. You're really a goddamn selfish idiot,"
His eyes widen, "I'm selfish?" His voice raises and I raise my arms in the air trying to step away as he takes one further.
"Yes, Harry, you. I've been trying so fucking hard to understand what the hell is going on with my best friend and he won't even tell me, it's like you don't trust me for the love of God!" And his body steps further to me, his eyes glaring into mine furiously, his jaw clenched.
"I told you, Violet I can't and you don't get it, fucking hell," he mutters and runs a hand through his hair, a hand on the rail behind me. His chest was pressed against mine and my heart was pounding incredibly, I thought it memorized the beat of the song I always hum to myself.
"I honestly don't want to be around you," his eyes lock on mine instantly and he shakes his head.
"Too fucking bad, you're not pushing me away over something silly,"
"Silly? Silly?! Harry I, I can't do this okay," I move to get past him but his hand grabs a hold of my wrist, spinning me slightly to him, my breath hitching as my face comes two inches from his. My lips were merely centimeters from his own and his breath was harsh; unstable.
"Stop walking away from me," he begs quietly, his hand never letting go of my wrist. His grip was soft and his skin was warm against mine and I swore I couldn't breathe.
"It's hard when you won't open up to me," I step away slightly and look into his eyes.
He sighs and brings me closer to his body, closing the space between us as his arms wrap around my waist and my own wrap around his biceps. "How about you wait until New Years Eve, I'll tell you then, yeah?" I close my eyes and nod.
"If you don't tell me... I don't know what I'll do with you, Styles." His chuckle rumbled beneath me, his hand resting on my jaw, making sure our eyes locked.
"I'll tell you, New Years Eve. I promise." He bit his lip as his eyes stayed focused on mine intensively. His thumb caressed the skin of my jaw and his lips left a small kiss on the side of my cheek.
I've loved you for so long, I don't know how I'm managing anymore.
---
Two days had passed by, leaving us one more day to spend time with our families. The last two days we all would go out and do early Christmas shopping since me and Harry wouldn't be here for Christmas nor New Years. Mom and dad both got me a new laptop and camera to work with at uni. I literally cried because I've been wanting to upgrade my gear for photography.
They really were the best parents out there and since I was the only child, they always tried their best to make me happy since my mother didn't really have another child.
Harry sent me a picture of what his parents had gotten him and when he sent me the picture of every record ever made by Elvis Presley, I nearly choked because I knew Harry was obsessed with him, and practically saw him as a role model, but now I didn't know what I was going to get him.
I knew Harry liked books. God did the kid adore books, he fucking loved them. He had this obsession with marking sentences he liked and writing what he thought of it next to it.
He also liked music, but who doesn't I mean music is great and his parents already got him something related to it.
And then it hit me, and I knew what I'd do. Maybe it wasn't something huge and extreme but I think he'll like it. I hope.
The rest of my last night went by too quickly for my liking and I already felt the tears welling behind my eyes. It was hard not to cry, since I don't really see my family that much and face timing them isn't really the same.
Harry waited outside in the car for me with my luggage and I still needed to say my goodbyes to my parents. I had already bid Anne and Mr. Styles and I was dreading this all really
My eyes fell on both my Mom and dad and they just smile sadly at me, both hugging me tightly, telling me that they loved me and were going to miss me.
And God were the tears flowing down my cheeks like waterfalls and God was I going to fucking die because I still had another semester with Harry alone and my feelings.
"Sweet pea, I'll miss you," my mother told me in my ear, kissing my head and pulling away, looking into my eyes.
She patted my cheek and winked. "Don't worry about what will happen with you and Harry, he'll eventually talk," and my breath staggered because my father was next to us and I glared at her. She only chuckled and kissed my cheek.
"I'll miss you kiddo, stay focused you'll do great," my dad told me quietly, hugging me tightly and kissing my forehead. I felt comforted in a way because I was reassured, but that doesn't calm the nerves in the pit of my soul, shaking it to its last element.
And I walked away, waving to them as I wiped away the tears. I sat in the car and hiccupped, not looking at Harry, because I knew if I did, my heart would mend too quickly and if it mended too quickly that means I knew I was already home but I was crying because I was leaving the ones who introduced me to my home.
My home for my heart.
Hands folded over mine in my lap, thumb caressing the warm flesh. And my chest calmed down and my heart stopped pounding from the crying, but it began to pound discreetly in the most painful yet soul refreshing way, because I was in love with him terribly, and being in love with him was like loving the way the sunset looked two minutes before the sun vanished from the sky; breathtaking and devastatingly.
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i'm so in love with this chapter wow I love you guys too. What was your favorite part? And are you guys doing ok?
All the love x
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