Phoebe's perspective
I wish I had no one.
So that nobody would hurt over me.
It's horrible. Seeing the people you love cry over you. I've never seen Alex cry before. And the fact that he's crying over my horrible state... It's making me feel awful.
That night, I woke up about 20 seconds before paralyzing. I noticed he wasn't next to me. I figured he was probably smoking. I've never felt like that during any crisis I've had. This time, I felt my heart freeze. I simply felt my chest go cold. I managed to shout for Alex, but I wasn't even sure he got to me. I collapsed, trying to breathe. This time, it was real. I couldn't breathe anymore. I remember Isaac saying once that if I am alive, it means I can breathe and that I only have the impression I can't breathe. I really couldn't breathe then. I was dying.
I opened my eyes to find myself at the hospital, surrounded by doctors and nurses. They told me nothing and just left the room. Soon, Alex entered. His eyes were red and puffy and he held my hand in his.
When I told him I want him to live his life and have a family even if I die, he almost broke down. I would have hugged him and held him in my arms if my cannula and the stitches that ended in my veins hadn't refrained me. Al... How much I love you, Alexander.
The next to come was Isaac.
"Hey Phoebs, how are you feelin'?" He whispered, trying to smile.
"What are you doing here... The French olympics are today..."
"I don't care, darling. I will be there, don't you worry..."
"Please go... You'll be great. Please, please go... Promise me you will..."
"Ok, I promise."
He took my pinky and entwined it with his and so we made our promise.
"Isaac, thank you so much for being my best friend.."
"Phoebs, you don't have to thank me... I am glad I am your best friend. And I will, because you'll be just fine."
"Isaac, I'll have to admit... Sky's a fine girl... I'm glad you've found her.. I ship you two."
"I knew it." He smiles, squeezing my hand.
We talked some more and than Haley came in. She came in holding back tears, but when she saw me, she started crying.
"Am I really looking that bad...?" I ask, reaching for her hand.
"No, Phoebe, it's just..."
"Don't worry, Haley... It's ok."
She bent her head to my hand. Her temple was trembling against my knuckles.
"I thought I'd never see you cry." I whisper, gathering enough air. She lifts her gaze and gives me a smile through the tears. "I never thought you'd be the one to become my best girl friend."
"Thanks, Phoebe.... I've learnt so many things from you." She wipes her tears away, her mascara staining the back of her hands.
"Lioness... Please make sure everyone's living their lives properly. Including you."
"How can you say that... You won't die!"
"In case I die, I am letting you know."
"Stop bullshitting me." She giggles, punching my shoulder very slowly, making me smile.
"I am sorry I am the reason of your tears."
"No, Phoebe. Don't worry. I will see you later, ok? Bye baby girl." She puts her hands on my cheeks and caresses them lightly. I nod and afterwards, Dylan comes in.
"Hey there... How are you feelin'?" Dylan asks.
"Like I'm gonna die." I say, a tear burning my cheek.
"Don't say that." He took my hand and caressed it gently.
"Please take care of yourselves. Please don't mourn over me. You are all young, please don't waste your youths."
"Heeey... You're not dying, ok? You're not dying."
Suddenly, a nurse came in, telling us that they're having me checked for cancer. They pushed my bed out of the room and took me in a dimly lit room, where some sort of tube was there. Dylan helped the nurse put me on the little mattress that would be sled in the tube. A nurse told Dylan he has to leave.
"See you later, baby girl." Wow, both of them have this baby girl thing.
The little cables were soon taken out of my arm and the cannula disappeared as well.
"Do you think you can breathe by yourself for two minutes?" A nurse asks me.
Frankly, I had to struggle really hard to breathe, but at least I could do it by myself. I nodded and lied down.
"Hold still." The nurse said, leaving the room.
After two minutes, the nurse came back and put my cannula back in my nostrils.
"How are you feeling?" She asked me, helping me get off the thin mattress.
"Like I'm gonna die."
"Just because you're at the hospital, it doesn't mean you're going to die."
"But if you're scanning me for cancer, I guess it's pretty close to dying."
I kind of shut her up and she wanted to help me up in my bed, but I refused. I was feeling slightly better. I knew I didn't depend entirely on that cannula.
"Can I go in the waiting room..?" I ask, having my oxygen tube and my IV wheeled by a doctor.
"No. But I can go there and tell your parents to come in your room, if you want to."
Poor guy, he didn't know.
"I don't have any parents."
He didn't seem very affected by my words. He was just taken aback by my honesty.
"Orphan?"
"Yeah."
"Then who's with you?"
"My boyfriend and my best friends."
"Alright... I'll tell them to come.."
"Will you please tell me if I have cancer?" I say, my bare feet tickled by the cold perfectly clean tiles.
"You don't have cancer."
"Then I'm free to go! Great, cause I got a contest today and I would like to participate..." I start, but the doctor interrupts me.
"We're supervising you."
He opened the door to my room and than a nurse wheeled my bed in.
"Rest." She commanded, closing the door behind her. Bullshit. I was feeling a lot better, now knowing that I am capable of breathing myself. I hope they're allowing them to enter all at the same time now. I need to cheer myself for them. They can't see me scared. Otherwise, they'll be the same. And really there's no point in that.
***
Alex's perspective
"She's cancer free." The doctor said. We all gasped, relieved that she will be fine.
"But her lungs are working as if she had cancer. Their functionality is at 40%. We figured it's because of the disease. She might have to wear a cannula for the rest of her life, but we'll prescribe her some medicine that might help her get rid of it, eventually. She said she's got a boyfriend. So, I suppose, he's the family member now."
"Yeah, that's me." I lift a hand so he spots me.
"Are you Alex Turner?!" He asks, surprised.
"Umm, yes. The fabulous answer."
"My daughters love you."
"Cheers."
"Anyhow, you have to sign some papers... Oh, she said she'd like you to come in her room."
"All of us?" Haley asks, her voice trembly from the tears.
"Yes. All of you."
I go to the hospital's front desk and sign the papers, guided by the doctor.
"You know, she's almost 17, isn't she..."
I look at him, puzzled.
"Do you think you can take care of her now that she's also sick and all...?"
"Of course I can. She's been living on her own from...15 years old. I really think I can take care of her. Plus, we've got friends."
"Alright then. You are in your fresh twenties so you're legally old enough to be the one to sign for her and so on... Eh, laws always butt in."
"Yeah, kinda."
"You can go and see her. I think that in about a day or two, she'll be free to go."
"Thank you."
"Don't thank me, thank the upper power."
I smiled faintly, watching him walk past me. I folded all the papers with her diagnose and so on and picked the duffel bag from under my chair. The others followed me and so we entered her room.
She was sitting on the tall bed, slowly dangling her feet.
"Phoebs, lie down. NOW!" Isaac half-yelled.
"Oh, cut the crap. I'm much better. I can breathe without this bullshit too."
She pulled out the cannula and Isaac almost lost his minds.
"PHOEBE JANE PHILLIS, put that back in." Isaac said, running to her.
She kept dangling her bare feet and sticked the tube back in her nostrils, just to make Isaac calm down. A little grunt came out as she sticked them back in. I went and hugged her tight.
"Al, you're crushing my lungs." She whispered putting her arms around my neck, kissing me just beneath my ear.
"Sorey." I mutter, giving her a peck on the lips, loosening my grip.
"For fuck's sake, you're ok..." Haley says, giving her a hug.
"Yeah, I am much better. I dunno what they squirted in my veins." She points at the violet bruise from her arm. She puts a finger on it but takes it away, in pain.
"Don't touch it, love." I was like a daddy.
I sit on the bed next to her and put my arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. She hooks her hand to my shoulder and rests her head under my chin. Isaac comes closer and takes her free hand:
"Phoebs, you said you want me to go at the French olympics."
"YES! Please, you need to leave, you have to be there at eight, don't you?! I am sorry for waking you up so early, drink a coffee before you go... Pay attention and don't worry about me, I am great. Please win." She says, pulling away from me, stretching her arms out to Isaac. He tightens his arms around her and takes her up in his arms, careful not to tangle the oxygen tube.
"Yes, Phoebs. Don't worry. I love you."
"I love you too, Isaac."
Ok, I am slightly jelous. But I know it's nothing to worry about. Isaac's taken. Phoebe's taken. By me.
He pecks her cheek and waves at us, leaving. Dylan and Haley crowd in bed next to us.
"What's in the duffle bag?" Phoebe asks, getting up to open it.
"I got you some stuff I considered you'd need."
She shuffles through, kneeling in front of it like a child. God, she's pretty even with that cannula.
"You got me my hairbrush!" She says, wrapping her fingers around it, giggling.
We all laugh at her amazement and let her shuffle through the stuff.
"I wanna change. Where's the bathroom?"
"I don't think you change there. Maybe you just wash there or something." Dylan says.
"Oh. But how do I get my oxygen tube to the bathroom? Is there enough space for me to leave it until I shower?"
"I will come with you, don't worry. I will help you dress up and all, ok?" Haley offers, helping her take out the electronics out of the bag, zipping in the clothes and the bath products.
Phoebe wraps her fingers around the oxygen tube's handle and wheels it behind her, while Haley picks the bag up for her. Dylan and I remain in the room.
"I don't know how you survive, really." Dylan says.
"What do you mean?"
"She's a very difficult person to love. She's either childish or witty, she's so helpless sometimes but she's also so independent. And look at her. She's kinda cheerful for a person whose heart and lungs literally stopped about 6 hours ago. Yet you'll break her if she sees you yelling at a puppy."
I pondered at what Dylan said. Yes, he was right. She is the girl at the two extremes. But hell, I love that. I love that more than I love to rock 'n roll.
"Yeah, man. You right. But I simply love her, ye know? Just as ya love Haley, I love Phoebe."
"Yes... I suppose that's how things are."
We talk a little longer while waiting for the girls and so the unavoidable subject occurs:
"So.. Has Phoebe decided where she's going for college?"
The truth is, she hasn't. We looked one day for colleges in London that would be specialized in her chosen options and we've found plenty. Still, there's still half a year to decide. The last high school year, she'll have to apply to so many of those names. I think she'll go for Oxford's literature section. She kinda hovered over that one.
The girls enter the room, shutting us up.
"Thanks for getting me my favorite T-Shirt." She comes to me and hugs me, kissing my cheek in this very you're-my-daddy-way, which, to be honest, I found really sexy.
I also packed her a pair of dark blue shorts which she was now proudly moving around in.
The strap of her black bra could be seen. Hell, hell, hell, calm your sexual instincts, Alexander, your girlfriend's having a cannula after all. Your girlfriend's lungs are only working 40%.
Haley takes the hairbrush and combs her slightly tangled hair, making Phoebe wince from time to time. She than clips a few rebel strands at the back with a little butterfly clip.
"There you go, baby girl."
"Thanks, Haley."
Haley smiles as a reply and sits in the chair next to the bed.
"So... What do I have? The doctor was so sparing words..." She says, crossing her legs in a lotus shape as she finds a comfortable position in the bed.
"Your lungs are working at only 40% of their capacity." Dylan informs her.
"And why is that?"
"It's because of your... Disease." I say, taking my head in my hands.
"Yeah, well, screw it." She sighs and takes the laptop in her lap.
"I know, right..." Haley says, munching on a piece of her hair.
"So I will live with this bullshit for the rest of my life?!" She adds, after a long moment of silence.
"Yeah, kinda. They said they'll prescribe some medicine that might help you get rid of it, eventually." I say, closely examining her face, hoping to notice a change of expression.
"Fine, at least I got a few chances of getting rid of this idiocy." She snapped, making us chuckle. Dylan was right. She's in the extremes.
"What are you waiting for? You need to go back to bed." She says, looking at us.
"She's right. Haley, Dylan... Thanks for being here." I add, looking at them sympathetically.
"You too, Alexander." She says in a fake bitchy way. I raise my eyebrows, pretending to be amused.
"You heard me. Go home and have a nap. All of you." She looks at me once more and I smile faintly, giving her a kiss.
"Fine, lioness. See ya later, then." Haley says, hugging her after Dylan does so.
"Bye bye. Thanks for waking up for me." She waves at them and they exit the room, leaving us alone.
"Your turn, Tuner!" She chuckles as she notices the little thing.
"I can sleep here. I will sleep here!" I protest.
"No. First of all, you'll also need to change your clothes. So go home, rest, than come by later, ok?"
"Text, call, anything! Ok?" I say, taking my phone.
"Yes, don't worry. I am ok now. I am literally Hazel with this thing in my nose. You can be Gus!" She laughs, seeming so fascinated about that tube.
"I could be Gus, but you don't have lung cancer. And you don't like The Fault in our Stars anymore." I say, chuckling.
"Yeees, but I kinda have a problem with them." She says, putting her hands on her hips, straightening her back.
"Your hair isn't short." I say, kissing her forehead.
"I could cut it."
"You could stop making scenarios." I say, opening the door to leave, smiling at her. She pouts as I kiss her goodbye.
"Al!" She suddenly screams.
"What?!"
"You got your mother's eyes. They're beautiful."
I smile and head off. Love, when you look into the mirror, do you see those black pearls shining in the bathroom light just as bright as I see them shining in the dark moon light?