Hello Kitty pajamas

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Alex's perspective

Tomorrow Phoebe has one of the most important contests of the school year. Well, at least the one that matters most to her. The French nationals. God, this girl is a genius. How does she even make it through all of these? Actually, I know. She says it's her dream. It's her dream becoming a translator. And a writer. I guess she's reaching her dreams. It's about 1 a.m. I get out of bed quietly to smoke a cigarette and mentally count the hours till her contest. She'll be gone for about 6 hours. All those speaking, listening and reading parts take horribly long. But I am proud of her. She achieved her goals even though her parents died. I'll have to admit, since that New Year's party, she managed to control her emotions way better. I never bring up the subject. I don't want to open the wound.

I get out of the bedroom and go on the small balcony. The spring air is cooling the earth during the night, while the sun warms it during the day. You're what the night does to the day... The lyrics of She's thunderstorms come to my mind and make me smile. I never really understood how empty my life was until I met Phoebe. It's so new to me, this kind of true love.

I hear the bed creak loudly.

"A..Al..H-help.." I hear her trying to scream. Shit. Crisis. God, please, I never really believed in you, but please, don't let it be a bad one. I toss my cigarette on the cold tiles and immediately dart to the kitchen, my hands trembling in search of the pills. I snatch them and take a glass and fill it with tap water and run to our room, almost spilling it everywhere.

"PHOEBE!" I scream, dropping the glass and the pills. She was lying on the bed, her eyes wide open, tears running down her cheeks. She wasn't moving. Not even her eyes were.

"PHOEBE, LOOK AT ME." I say moving my hand in front of her eyes, trying to make her move or something. Shit. SHIT. SHIT!

"Holly shit." I mumble, slapping her face, trying to wake her up. Nothing. I take my phone and dial for an ambulance.

"Hello, how can I help you...?"

"MY GIRLFRIEND IS HAVING SOME SORT OF CRISIS AND SHE'S PARALYZED AND..." I shout, stopping for a second to see if she's breathing or if her heart is beating. "SHIT. HER HEART IS NOT FUCKING BEATING."

"Alright, sir, calm down. Address?"

"Bolt Street, block 4, floor 6, apartment 2. Hurry up, for fuck's sake."

"Name, please?"

"Mine or hers?"

"Both."

"I am Alex Turner. She's Phoebe Phillis."

"Alright, then. You have to listen to me, now. Lay her down on the floor."

I do as the woman says and take her in my arms, lying her gently on the floor, next to the bed.

"Now tilt her head up and pinch her nose. You will have to open her mouth and blow air as hard as you can, as many times as possible. After 10 breaths, talk to me. Leave the phone down for now, I will wait."

I do as the woman says and start breathing air in her lungs. I do it 15 times instead and than try to see if she's breathing. Hell she isn't.

"SHE IS NOT BREATHING."

"Shit... Resuscitate her..."

"I KNOW HOW TO GIVE FIRST AID, JUST HURRY THE FUCK UP."

I start pressing her chest with my hands.

"Hold on, ok? Please, hold on. What will I do without you? What will I do, huh? I love you, I love you so much, please don't go. Please, please, we'll watch shitty movies, we'll go on trips together, we'll do so many things together. I want to live my life with you, please don't go. I want to be your husband and no one else's, I want to write songs about you when you're still alive, please don't fucking leave me. You got a contest tomorrow and you'll be great as always. Please, please, please, Phoebe Jane Phillis! I want you to be Phoebe Jane Turner in a few years' time, please, I want to have a family with you, please, please, please. I'll do whatever you say, I will never never never leave again. Please, I can give up the band anytime, I will be with you every moment, please don't leave me. I can't bury you. I wouldn't be able to, please, hold on." I say, tears running  down my face, staining her pajama blouse. Her Hello Kitty pajama blouse, which she likes only because her mom got it for her.

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