Stuck on the puzzle

Love is a Laserquest

~Alex's point of view(the day he left Phoebe)~

"You're fired." I say, shaking off the ashes of my cigarette.

"Alex, let's get things straight."

I have been discussing with Joseph, my manager, for about an hour. I have just come from Phoebe's. I hate this man in front of me. I despise him. He ruined everything. More than this, he made her suffer. I don't allow this.

"Joseph, just shut up. We come back to London with you and than you find someone else to take care of. Just so you know, I'm making great efforts not to punch you."

"Alex, for the thousandth time. This girl" he pulls out a photo of me and Phoebe talking at Fifi's.

"Where did you get that from?" I asked, getting up, anger building inside of me.

"Paparazzi. This could have been everywhere in London if it weren't for me. As I was saying, you are just a teenager. You fall in love really hard for someone who seems special but things don't last forever. Your life is in London, Alex! Your life is all over the country, actually. YOU WILL SOON START THE WORLDWIDE TOUR, ALEX. I understand you love her and want to take care of her, but your life doesn't allow it."

"Didn't you hear me? I said you're fired."

"SHE IS JUST A GIRL."

I grabbed him by the collar and pinned him to the wall. I squeezed his neck a bit, just to frighten him.

"I SAID YOU'RE FIRED."

I took my cigarettes and my phone and slammed the door behind me. I packed my stuff and went out in the hotel's reception. After about half an hour, the others came too. Joseph and Jackson-the actual band's manager- paid our stay, called a limo and took us to the airport. Surprisingly, the ride was very silent. I smoked three cigarettes and the boys kept watching me worried. I ignored them. When we got in London, Joseph waved goodbye.

"Jackson, would you like to be my manager? Yes or no?"

"Yes, of course."

"Good, you're hired. There are some things you need to know. You probably know Phoebe."

"I do."

"Well, you have to promise me she will become a priority in my schedule. I don't care if I only see her for three hours. She matters a great deal, you know why? I have to prove her I didn't messed with her and than just left her. And, of course, I need to see her. I love her."

"Wow. You know her for like... 3 days and you had sex with her."

"IT WAS NOT ABOUT SEX. She is so smart and innocent and scared and lonely ... We were neighbors in Sheffield. Her best friend, Isaac Martin, was my best friend, too. We didn't use to talk much because she despised me for some reason, but I had the chance to notice her because of Isaac. Isaac and Phoebe are still great friends. They have a few common classes..."

"What else do you know about her future whereabouts?"

Jackson pulled out a little notebook. He will help me a lot, I am sure of it.

"She'll definitely be in Ireland till the end of the term... I don't know where she is spending the summer."

"You have to find that out. Call Isaac, check her Facebook profile, I dunno."

"Jackson... You have to help me."

"Trust me, kid. I know how it is to love. Get some rest and inspiration. We need that song fast."

When I arrived to my flat, everything seemed blunt and meaningless. I took a pencil and a paper and started writing everything that crossed my mind.

There's glass in the park
If the sun's in your eyes, I'll tighten your blindfold, baby
When you say that you need me tonight... I can't keep my feelings in desguise, the white part of my eyeball illuminates...
And I'll wait for you... As if I'm waiting for a stone to stop
But I ain't gonna put you off...
Tell me how can I put you off when you're a matter of urgency... I got a million things that I need to do but they're all.. Secondary
And like a grain of diamond dust.. You float...
Paraselene woman, I'm your man in the moon
My devotion's outer crust cracks

I wake up surrounded by crumbled papers. A few more hours to assemble the words and give them some legitimate rhythm and order and it's done. I have finished the song.

"Jackson, talk to the movie makers. I have a material."

"Alex, have you been working on that song all night?"

"I don't know... I am not in my minds entirely."

I hung up. I went into the shower, the cold water giving me shivers. I kept remembering her eyes, her voice, her limp body in my arms as she had the crisis, the dim light of her favorite café, her shy touch, her small hands, the way her face lit up when she talked about books. The following months weren't much different..

***

"Alex! Finally, you picked up."

"What's up, Jackson?"

"So, I did some research on Phoebe and Isaac. I just googled their names and I found their school's site. I will text you the link later. Anyway, they are involved in an experience-exchange project in America this summer, something great, you shall read that yourself. The thing is, they have tickets to VidCon, ComicCon and stuff like that included. They will be present at tons of conferences about books. Isaac will play the piano, Phoebe will be some sort of interviewer. Anyway, just read that. The thing is, I have called up the guys at VidCon and sort of explained them the situation. They said they would love to have this kind of emotional lovers moment. So you will be singing at VidCon, Chicago, June 27. It's also Phoebe's birthday that day, just so you know. Oh, and I arranged two weeks in Ireland. You will have those concerts Joseph cancelled in one week. I got you a minor chance here. To see her, at least."

"Jackson, I got now words to say how grateful I am."

"You said she is a priority. Goodbye."

***

"...If you don't mind. My friends are waiting for me."

Jackson told me to go and chill for a while at the mall. I came back to Ireland for the concerts. I was sitting at Starbucks, thinking about that vintage café where I met Phoebe, remembering the way she tried to shut me up by ignoring me. The memory of her smile when I gave her the flowers, the way she smiled every time I said something, even if it was way less interesting and witty than what she would say. It was the kind of smile you can not really get off your face and of which you are unaware. Anyway, as I was sitting at Starbucks, realizing how shitty their drinks were compared to "Fifi's Lovely Apron", I saw Isaac talking to a guy. I went up to him and they joined me at the table. He introduced me to Dylan, a friend of his. We chewed the fat for a while, talking about all sort of things, meaningless and mortal impressions, when Isaac's phone starting ringing. As he excused himself, getting away from the table, I heard a faint 'Phoebs, are you and Haley ok?'. Dylan explained me how they were here with their girlfriends, fact that made my blood run still for a second. He immediately cleared out that Phoebe was not Isaac's girlfriend, although him and Haley, his girlfriend, were slightly doubting it. However, he told me they might become nothing more than 'friends with benefits', a remark that made me just as sick as a dumb kid on a montagne russe. Hardly had I managed to reply an 'I see.' Now, I am talking to Phoebe, or at least, she is talking to me. I proposed her to restart 'us'. She just got mad. She wasn't mad, in fact. I just touched her weak point. I, who was the one willing to be by her side, became her weak point, the one that made her point all these arrows at me.

"I am not good at modern talking, but I love you..."

She didn't hear me. She was already by Isaac's side, grabbing his hand. Maybe she really is his girlfriend. Maybe I should just let her go. But how can I let her go when I love her? It's insane, this love. Love's a risk. Love's a Laserquest, to mentally quote myself.