"Hello, y'all! I'm Alex Turner and we are the Arctic Monkeys."
We arrived at VidCon and scattered in the huge room. Isaac and I were halfway to the stage. A round of applause and cheers exploded as Alex took a pause to present Matt, Jamie and Nick.
"We're here to please you today."Alex says, causing another rush of applause to burst from the crowd.
"Also, you might be even helping me today." He continues, starting to play the wonderful I bet that you look good on the dance floor. I loved that song, so I started singing along with Isaac and all the other fans. Some pairs started dancing like crazy. Everyone was already having a great time.
I bet that you look good on the dance floor, don't know if you're looking for romance oh, I don't know what you're looking for... We all sang along, ecstatically.
I couldn't help but stare at him. He was wearing a white T-Shirt and a pair of skinny blue jeans. His hair was spiky, gelled in a quiff, a few short strands falling on his forehead. That made me remember a Lana del Rey song which went something like.. Blue jeans, white shirt, walked into the room you know you made my eyes burn.. Well, basically, to sum up his appearance, he was a real rock star. His right leg was keeping the electric guitar in balance, as the left one patted the rhythm. His mouth was spitting out the words in a less hoarse voice now, and his hands were constantly tackling the guitar's strings. He was also walking around the stage, leaning down to the crowd, adding hip movements here and there, turning the girls on. I was just really anxious. I needed to talk to him after the show. I wanted to.
...dancing to electro pop like a robot.. From 1984, yeah from 1984! The song came to an end, realizing the 1984 reference. 1984, his favorite book...
Great songs like Do I wanna know, No. 1 Party Anthem, 505, Cornerstone, Crying Lightning, Arabella, Black Treacle and many others entertained us for almost an hour and a half. After Snap out of it, the Monkeys stopped, silence overwhelming the room.
"The rock, funny, bouncy part of the show is over now." Alex said, sitting down on a chair. His ragged voice vibrated through the microphone. Suddenly, he pulled his phone out of the pocket. I didn't even notice he had it there. He checks something, a message probably, and smiles satisfied, but contained. He lifts his head. Everyone was wondering if the show is over or something, but than Alex spoke again:
"Here comes the real sentimentalism, folks. Now it's the time to help me out. I am really nervous." Most of the people laughed. "I ain't kiddin'."
Everyone shut up, looking stunned. The great Alex Turner, the cool, the chill, the star Alex Turner was nervous.
"I am telling you from now. I ain't good with words, except the songs I sing."
A shiver ran down through my entire body. This moment is for me. I look at Isaac and notice him watching Alex intensely, a 'come on, the plan is working' smile planted on his face. I look back at Alex and see him staring back at Isaac, slightly nodding. His eyes shift on me.
"Seven months ago I met a girl..."
Everyone started clapping and doing that 'wooooo' sounds, interrupting him.
"...whom I fell in love with at first sight. I was always the one to break the girls' hearts but, although it seemingly didn't happen any differently that particular winter day, she was the one to break mine, for the first time."
He wasn't looking at me anymore, his eyes stopped at every person in the room.
"Boys always believe they're the real heartbreakers. But now I'm asking you.. Why do you feel guilty after you leave the lady? That's because she made you love her. She made you love her for her innocence, or for her intelligence, or for her beauty. Only women can do that. Even if she closes the door behind, she's the one to make you suffer although you're making her suffer, too. That's the real heartbreaking thing. However, as I was saying. I met this girl in a café. The place was full of people who were hiding from the pouring rain. I found myself in the same situation. I remember going to a waitress there and asking if I could sit somewhere. All the tables were full. The only place that was free was at her two-person table. And so it all started."
I tilted my head down, the image of that day catching life in my mind, making me smile. Many girls were slightly disappointed, now knowing that Alex Turner was in love with someone, but most of them were just keen to know the story. Isaac put a hand on my shoulder, smiling widely. He set this up, didn't he..
"She was writing a composition, I recall. I tried to make small talk but she just shut me up. She didn't like small talk. Actually, she didn't like to talk. A series of happy events followed. A fake name invented, a favorite book forgotten, a flower bouquet, a fluffy dog, a Tv show, medicines, a deep talk, books, music, school, passions, a failed date asked at the radio, a cruel manager, a get-drunk opportunity, a small bump, a touch, a night. Than, I had to leave."
It became hard for me to hold back the tears now. I can still picture every moment he mentioned as if it happened yesterday. And they're all happy and pure and real. But they still hurt.
"Don't cry, my love." He said, his eyes on me. Most people now realized that it was all about me. Skyler, who standing on my right, put a hand on my shoulder. Katie was giving me an encouraging smile. Isaac wasn't even there anymore.
"... This job of being a rock star has only brought me one thing to regret: having to leave Phoebe Phillis. Fortunately, she's here and she can hear me say, for the millionth time: I'm sorry. We haven't seen for a long time since that unfortunate day when I left her. I remember, she was getting ready for school, trying to stay strong. At that moment, she broke my heart. She was making me suffer with her honest feelings. Knowing that she usually rejects human presence, stirring a mass of tears inside of her made me, for the first time, feel like a monster. But I had no choice but do the monstrous thing I had done so many times before: forget. And it would have all worked if only... she hadn't made me truly love her."
The sound of a soft classic guitar broke the silence and the beautiful song Only Ones Who Know made girls and boys pair up and slow dance.
As he sang, he kept looking at me. I was trying not to cry. I missed him. I've wanted him near me, all this time. Now he's here. Just as he promised. The song ended and Alex sat back down.
"Ya know, she's very beautiful. She's... She's so simple... She's so innocent and smart and kind and pure. You're probably wondering why I left. We were on tour in Ireland. And she.. She lives in Ireland. And we live in London. And we have lots of band things to do. So I had to leave. The greatest thing of all is that we've known each other since we were kids. We had a common best friend. She despised me, I still don't know why. We didn't talk much, but I've had a crush on her since forever. And when our friend left for Ireland, we really had no reason to change another word. Technically, I haven't seen her for 9 years. I am three years older than she is. She left for Ireland at 14. My mom was the one to tell me that our neighbors' daughter was moving away to study. When we met in Ireland that rainy day, she asked me:' Do I know you?' I realized she didn't recognize me. In childhood, she never knew my real name. She thought my name was Axel. And this is what everyone called me. So maybe it would have been better for her to know. Well, I know she knows the whole truth. Isaac's updated you, hasn't he?"
He looks at me, smirking, waiting for a reply. I nod, smiling.
"Phoebe. I am sorry."
He places his guitar on the chair and comes off the stage, all the people making room for him to get to me.
"I'm sorry." He says as he hugs me tight, nudging his head towards mine."I'm sorry, I am so sorry. We'll work it out this time, I promise. We'll be just fine, I love you."
I tried to reply but all I did was cry, both of sadness because he had to leave that day and also of joy, because he kept his promise of returning. I just hiccuped between my tears and hugged him tight, tiptoeing in order to cling to his neck.
"Phoebe, you're worrying me. Say something." Alex says, almost laughing, still keeping his arms tight around my waist.
"I love you, Alex. I love you."
Everyone started cheering as he lifted me a bit, so that my lips could easily reach his. He was almost crying too.
"I thought I'd never see these eyes again." He says, gently putting me down, kissing me once more.
"You were wrong for once."
"I couldn't regret it less." He says, chuckling.
"One last song, New York! Phoebe Phillis, this is for you. Believe it or not, I wrote it the day you left Sheffield, back when you were 14. I am proud of it being included on the Submarine soundtrack, a movie I promised you we'd see together. I haven't forgotten my promise."
Fingers dim in the light... Like you're used to being told that you're trouble... And I've spent all night.. Stuck on the puzzle...
"Goodbye, New York! You helped me more than you know. Farewell!" Alex waves goodbye and darts off the stage, coming to me.
"Stop crying, love."
I laughed and cry, at the same time.
"You're here." I mumble, hugging him.
"Of course I'm here, Phoebe. I told you I'd be."
I smiled, wiping away my tears.
"You love me." He says, smiling almost mockingly.
"Of course I love you, dumb ass."
"I know. I've always known it."
He takes me in his arms and kisses me, stroking my hair. The room now emptied, us remaining the only people. Where's Isaac... Whatever, I'll find him later.
"Phoebe?" Alex asks, taking my hand, guiding me backstage.
"I know it's your birthday."
"You do? How?"
"That's not so important. Happy birthday, Phoebe." He squeezes my hand, smiling. "I got you something. Close your eyes."
I did as he said, than he put his hands over my eyes, making sure I wasn't peeking.
"Watch your step. Oh, careful, broken glass. To the right. Okay, a bit to the left now."
"Where are you taking me, Alex? It's noisy and.. Are we outside?"
"Well, yeah, we're passing a mass of paparazzi but don't be scared. Be yourself."
I started laughing, because literally what he was doing was guiding me through a bunch of paps, telling me-a rather socially awkward person- to be myself. I felt his chest tremble in laughter behind me. I later heard the cameras and the shuffling around me.
"Ok, we're inside now. Keep your eyes closed."
He sweeped me off my feet, carrying me bride style.
"You're crazy, I swear." I say, laughing.
"But at least I'm yours."
"Are we climbing some stairs?"
"I am, you're talking."
"Alex, what the hell have you done for me?"
"A little cute thingie to fill two hours of our lives."
"That sounds horny."
He bursts out in laughter.
"No, it's not, Phoebe Phillis. I am sure you'll love it. Fine, now open your eyes."
He puts me down and turns on a light. A cinema size screen was fixed on a wall, the title of 'Submarine' glowing in the rather dark room. A big couch was set on the opposite wall and, in between the two, another big box.
"So, you're in the mood for the movie I promised you ages ago we'd see?"
"Of course I am ready. I've always been."
He smiles and guides me to a mini-bar, like in a cinema.
"We should order popcorn, but I said 'no' to employees so I'm the best servant you're getting today. A big popcorn box or a bigger one, miss?" He asks, jumping behind the counter, putting on some silly employee hat, taking two boxes in his hand, stuffing them with hot salty popcorn.
"Alex, you never cease to surprise me, do you?" I ask, giggling, as he hands me a box.
"Anything for you, miss. But. You have to open that box. There's the real present."
"Alex, what the hell! You've rent this room to watch this movie. It's already too beautiful. Why did you even bother to buy something else. I don't need objects to make me happy, ya know. You are back and that's the greatest present. You'll make me cry."
"But I want you to open it."
I go to the box and rip off the wrapping paper. Alex asks me from behind the counter:
"Anything to drink, love?"
"Coke, please."
"Coke it is."
As I eventually manage to open the box, the first thing I see is a gorgeous flower bouquet, a replica to the one he bought me the day we met. But twice as big. Next, I came across a flat, rectangular box, which was also wrapped. I pulled it out and put it on the couch. Alex was now there.
"I know you're going to say it's too much and so on, but I personally don't care. I really wanted you to have one."
"What did you get me, Alex?" I ask, trying to figure out where to rip the paper from.
"Just open it."
An Apple PC. A freaking Apple PC. With cool visual keyboard and visual mouse. My goodness...
"Alex, what the hell?"
"You don't like it? I can take it back and change it.."
"No, it's great, I love it, but it's way way way way too much."
"I told you I don't care. I love you."
"I know, but that doesn't mean you have to buy me expensive things. I know you love me."
"Fine, but don't tell me you didn't wish for one. Everyone wishes for one."
"I did wish for one, but it was not..."
"Shush. Your wish is my command. Really, love. I don't care how much it is. If I could buy it for you, it means you don't have to feel anything but happy. Are you happy?"
"Of course I am happy. You're here. Are you happy?"
"Me?! I'm on fire, love. I thought you hate me."
"I was just afraid of getting hurt. I don't want to have another person I care about and love on the other side of the ocean. I don't want you to be another loved one whom I permanently talk on Skype with. I don't wanna get hurt, because I wouldn't handle things anymore. My parents are enough. I don't want you away." I say, taking his hand in mine.
"You won't ever get hurt again, I promise. We will have to make sacrifices for things to work, but we will always figure a way. Always."
"Alright, Alex. I believe you. And thank you for all these. It really was a surprise. You didn't need to derange..."
"Shh. I deranged nothing. I am just glad you like it. Come 'ere, will you..?"
I cuddle next to him as he wraps his hands around me, his chest sticked to my back, chin resting on top of my head. He pressed a remote and the movie started.
"Songs by Alex Turner." I read out loud, as the words appear on the screen. I turn my head towards him and give him a small kiss.
"Just watch the movie, love."
***
"How am I going to get it to Ireland?" I ask, as Alex carries the PC down the stairs. I was trying not to stumble while carrying the huge bouquet.
"I can take it with me. We have room for as much luggage as we want."
"Wow, good thing being a rock star. Shit..."
"What's wrong?"
"I forgot to tell Isaac not to worry about me. I didn't even find him at a certain point during the show.."
"Ah, don't worry, he said he was going to watch some youtuber he likes. He texted me during the movie."
"Oh okay alright then."
"The boys said they'll be backstage until we come. They want to meet you."
"They do?"
"Obviously. I've tortured them with so many things about you, they realized I'm serious."
This answer of his made me think back at what I've overheard that day at their floor. He doesn't know about it.
"Matt, Nick, Jamie! Come 'ere lazy butts! Come meet Phoebe." Alex shouted as we entered some kind of changing room. He put the PC on a table around there and than directed the boys to me.
"Hello, nice to meet you, boys!" I say, greeting them. They seemed very friendly and gentle.
"Phoebe Phillis, what a pleasure. Finally, Alex, you bring a lady with real class." Matt says, kissing my hand.
"Well, yeahs, the others were just the manager's ideas. Jamie Cookie." Jamie says, pulling me into a hug.
"Alex, man, she's so tiny and delicate." Nick says, scanning me.
"Yes, you're right and look at her tiny fingers. She's so midget." Matt adds, taking my hand, examining it.
"Boys, look, I'm not an alien." I say, laughing.
"We know, but this is what you get. You're Alex's first proper girlfriend, really. The others were just for the press. For publicity. Don't ask, Alex's ex manager's stupid idea." Jamie says.
"Ok, enough. She's my girlfriend." Alex says, putting an arm around me, lighting up a cigarette. "You freakin' creeps, gosh..."
Jamie puts on a sad face, while Matt sticks his tongue out at him. Nick said:
"Yeah, man, we are just surprised you got such a fine lady."
Alex turns to me, smiling and gives me a peck on the lips.
"Ummm, you know... We kinda have to be back at the hotel at 18. What time's it...?" I ask, shuffling for my phone in the bag.
"Don't worry, I got it. 16:26. You still got time." Alex says, pulling out his phone from the jeans pocket.
"I shall find Isaac. Coming?"
"Yes, yes, of course. Just wait a sec."
He goes over to the boys and talks to them about when they will be back at the hotel and so on.
"Ready, queen." He says, putting his left arm around my waist.
"Bye, guys, nice to have met you!" I say waving at them.
"Bye, Phoebe, nice to have met you too! Take care of her, Alex! Don't do shit again!" They all say over each other, waving happily.
"Yeah, yeah, don't worry, parents." He replies, mockingly.
As we step outside, he tells me:
"Now, I have something pretty nice to tell you. I've talked to my new manager, well, the Monkeys' manager who also became mine and he said that we can stay in New York."
"What do you mean?"
"Until you leave. We can stay in NY until you leave back to Ireland. We'll be having some concerts in New York, but nothing else. We're also staying at your hotel..."
"Alex, are you serious?" I ask, now facing him.
"Of course I am."
I wrap my arms around his neck and almost start crying again. I'm very emotional at this kind of thing.
"Phoebe, it's ok. I am here. I won't leave for quite a long time."
He takes my hand in his and we continue walking to another building, where we suppose Isaac should be.
"What are you doing after I come back to Ireland?"
"We'll probably be in London for some time. But don't worry, it won't be more than a month, I am sure. We have to get some stuff straight with our manager about what we're planning to do next, what's the next step now that we've released all these albums... For some time, we don't want to do anything else, we don't want to release any other songs because it's useless at the moment. We should keep promoting what we have already released. And that means normal gigs. Which is, to me, quite simple."
"So you're not doing anything special?"
"Technically, no. The manager knows that we want to kinda take a break from releasing releasing and releasing. About two years, nothing new signed Arctic Monkeys. Just short touring and gigs in pubs in the weekends."
"That means..."
"You'll finish high school and only when you're going to college we'll have to figure out a plan."
"You're a great boy friend, you know that?"
"Actually, I don't but now that you're saying so... Thanks."