The second the two of us had kissed, the sky had lightened up and the sun came out. It was almost as if my emotions had controlled the weather, and when we shared our happiness, nature had gotten happier too.
We both pulled away at the sight of sunlight peering between us. Billie was smiling with success. Of course, I then had to smile along with him.
"I hate you," I grin.
"That's not what people usually say after they kiss," he giggles.
"You know I love you, Billie."
"I know, I just like hearing you say it."
He backs away from the hug, but grabs my hand as a replacement and begins to walk.
"I'm sorry about earlier. I really was feeling sick and tired. I tried to prove to myself that I could let you walk away and not care."
"How did that work out?" I smirk, already knowing the answer.
"Not so well, as you may have guessed. 5 minutes later with a worried mind, I began booking it. Seeing you try and jump off that cliff was the cherry on top."
"Well I'm sorry for scaring you, but that jump wouldn't have involved you."
"I know that now."
We walked a little further until I followed Billie's motion of taking a seat in the grass.
"Now that I've got my blood going again, please tell me what you tried to earlier. I'll listen this time, I promise."
It made me happy to know that Billie was actually going to give me an ear and hear me out. I cleared my throat and pulled a strand of hair loose for me to twirl.
"Alright. Where do I even start? I've got two huge things to say, should I just go in order?"
"That'd be ideal."
"Okay, well...do you remember David?"
"Who's that? Who's David?" I could see he was getting a little protective and it made me feel wanted, somehow.
"Do you remember how you said some guy was watching me? Us?"
"That fucker? Yeah I remember him! Did you see him again?" He reached into his pocket and pulled out some pot and a duchess.
"I did. Not only did I see him, but...well..."
"What the fuck did he do to you?"
"You really have no idea, do you?" I ask.
"What do you mean?" He continues to roll his blunt.
"I went out to that reservoir again, and he was there. At first I was a little nervous, remembering what you had said earlier. After talking to him for a couple minutes though, he seemed to be really nice. I didn't mind him so much and I took a liking to him."
"Did you fuck him? Tell me you didn't fuck him!"
"Ewww no of course not! I just met the guy why would I have fucked him?!"
He takes a deep breath and looks back down at his little masterpiece.
"I don't know, some girls are fucking wild. I don't fucking blame them, but damn...I just, I don't want you fucking douchebags!"
"You're a douchebag," I muttered. The moment I said that I instantly regretted it. Sometimes I say my thoughts out loud and it fucks me over for the longest time. Embarrassed, I didn't look at Billie's face. There was a moment of hesitation.
"Lucky for you we aren't fucking then," he finally spits out in a tone of annoyance. It was easy to see he was a little insulted from my comment.
"I'm sorry," I apologize. "I didn't mean it like that. Whichever way you saw it, I really didn't mean it to sound like that. It was more of a joke...but, I'm sorry," I stutter.
I finally look up to see Billie and he's just pouring all of his attention on this blunt. I shrugged and decided to keep going.
"Well, anyways. We were chatting, and then he got this phone call and he had to step away for a little bit. He asked if I could wait for him, so naturally I did. That's when I started getting sick again. I blanked out. I had another vision."
Billie automatically flung his head up to look at me with anticipation in his eyes.
"Was it of me?"
"No, it was of Santa Claus. Of course it was of you!"
He rolled his eyes at my lame statement.
"So what happened?"
"You were taking a nap on the couch, but you were having a bad dream. Yelling things out like don't go with him, he's gunna hurt you, why can't you see me, yada yada yada."
Billie looked invested now, waiting to hear what happened next.
"Then Addy came running over and tried to wake you up. When you did you were all sweaty and heated. She asked you about your dream and you pretty much described me. You had said you had a dream with "that girl again". Addy wanted to know who she was and what happened to her. You told her we were really close and you wanted to protect me, but in the dream, this guy tried to kidnap me at this movie theatre parking lot. Addy tried to tell you it was just a dream, but you sort of snapped at her saying that it felt like more than that. It felt like you really had to protect me and you were worried that I would be hurt. When I woke up, David was beside me, thinking I had fell asleep. I told him I had to go home, and he gave me his number proposing to meet up at the movies the next day. Naturally I got the fuck out of there."
Billie was blazing up by the time I had finished telling him what happened. He appeared worried yet a tad comforted at the fact I made the right decision.
"Thank God you left. That asshole is bad news. Probably not the last time you'll see him either so you have to be careful."
I nodded in agreement and he passed me his blunt.
"Seriously Layla, be careful. If you hadn't gotten that vision, you would have went to the movies with him. You were literally having a vision of me having a vision. That's a fucking mouthful."
"I know. It's just, I feel so alone in my reality. I pretty much just wait until the moment I can sleep."
"I understand, but you gotta hang in there. It's going to be okay." He leans in to give me a hug. "Thank God you're safe."
Billie was just so great. Such a tiny guy packed with fury, love, and lots of weed. He reeked of it pretty much every second we were together. He was turning me into such a pothead. At least, in my dreams he was.
"Things are weird, but this is a good thing," he continues. "It shows I truly am connected with you outside of your mind. I apologize that it causes you to faint on random occasions, but it's good to hear that this is all tied in with reality."
"You pretty much second handedly saved me. If it weren't for you, I'd be kidnapped by tomorrow," I chuckled, passing the blunt back.
"Mhm, then where would we be?" He took in a deep hit. "What else did you have to say?"
"Oh yeah, this was the weirdest part. After I got home and settled in my room, I got a text from an unknown number."
"Yeah, I remember you mentioning. You said, it was me?"
"It was...I think. You were all like," I cleared my throat in attempt to imitate his voice. "It's Billie. No really, it's me, I need to talk to you," yada yada yada."
"I don't fucking sound like that!"
"Shut up and listen!" I laugh. "Well, I was freaked out and wasn't buying it for a minute. I mean, think about it, how could you have possibly gotten my number? Like, strange things have happened with me fainting and shit, but HOW could you have gotten my number? Out of all the people in this country? No way!"
"I don't think it's a coincidence. It was either a friend bugging yah, or me, yah know?"
"The scariest part was right before I fell asleep, I got another text from that number apologizing, claiming that her husband had gotten drunk and didn't know what he was doing. I wanted to ask if it was Adrienne, you know? But then I passed out."
"You took another pill again, didn't you?"
"It's not about that, Billie! We're talking about the phone right now. Do you recall any of this happening?"
"No, I don't. I have no recall of what my physical self is going through. Right now, all I know is that he's a dick who's always fucking cranky. That's really all I know. Well, I do know something else."
"What is it?"
"It's not a possibility anymore, it's a definite outcome."
"What is?"
"You will get addicted to those shit pills and you will be sent to rehab. Your parents will not waste any time once they figure it out."
"You're kidding me."
"I'm not. It's true. It's going to happen a lot faster than you think. I'd tell you to stop, but you won't listen. Doesn't matter anyway, you'll be sent there eventually."
Nerves started to crawl down my spine and bring me discomfort.
"But what choice do I have? I tried to sleep on my own. I'm not taking these for no reason you know, I really need them to sleep!"
"Don't tell me that, tell your parents."
"Oh Billie..." I sigh, laying down on his lap. "How did things get so fucked up?"
"We ask each other this every time we see one another," he reveals while playing with my hair.
"I know. It's just...I can't imagine what things are going to be like when everything goes back to normal. What if we forget everything? What if we don't know each other anymore? Or worse, what if I remember everything, but you completely vanish, like this was all a bad dream or something?"
"Not possible, we have proof now that this is real. That we co-exist in our worlds. It's going to be okay, remember? We have each other. It's going to work out."
I smile upon hearing that. His words brought so much comfort and relaxation to everything.
"Layla, can I tell you something?"
"Duhh," I giggle.
"Seriously though, I want to confess something."
I look up at him with widened eyes.
"You know you can tell me anything."
He coughed and took a minute before speaking.
"Whenever I see you here like this, just being yourself when you're with me...I feel so warm inside. It's almost as if you melted my frozen heart. It sort of shows, when you can see the real me being a dick in comparison to me when I'm with you. I get this passion inside and my love burns deep. I think at first, you thought I was sent to you as a gift...but I truly believe it's the other way around. I believe you were sent to me as a gift. That you were the one who was going to change me for the better. That's how I see it, at least."
I fucking love him. I love him so much. Disease? Love him! Nonexistent? Love him! Real as can be? LETS GET MARRIED.
There was so much I wanted to say as a response to that. Things I'm sure he's heard before, but I just wanted to yell them out.
"Billie, there's so much I want to say to you. I want to tell you I love you, how great you are, how sweet you are and how much you mean to me. But the words I love you truly can't express how much you mean to me."
"Don't say it, show it," he smirks devilishly.
I jumped up and wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my lips down hard against his. He began shuffling underneath my tank top, nearly massaging my back in attempt to take it off.
It felt so wrong, making out with him and having him try to strip me naked. But the wrongness is what made it so much sexier and complete. He isn't cheating. This isn't wrong. This is a dream. This is a dream. I repeated those words so perfectly in my mind as things got more heated.
The moment he had my tank off he had thrown it far away, leaving me in my bra and underwear.
"Mmm," he moaned in pleasure at our sloppy kiss, with me basically on him at this point. He distanced himself by an inch, making room for him to take his own shirt off, revealing his solid tan body with his detailed tattoos adorned on his skin.
He isn't cheating. This isn't wrong. This is a dream. This is a dream.
Once his shirt was removed, he tossed me onto the ground and got on top of me. His kisses on my neck were to die for. He still had his pants on, but he was nearly thrusting his hips on top of my body and it felt so...so wonderful
"Am I still a douchebag?" He whispers in my ear, referring to our conversation earlier. It felt like I had swallowed a full apple, feeling breathless and choked up.
I didn't want to answer, but I could see that he was waiting for one, as if this was his way of asking for consent.
"No," I finally slipped out.
He isn't cheating.
He chuckled as a response and began taking his pants off.
This isn't wrong.
His checkered boxers were left as a result. He pressed his body on me and I could feel that he was hard. Oh my God.
This is a dream.
I wanted this. I decided I wanted this. I wanted Billie in every way possible so I wanted this. Forget the fact that he was technically 43, married and with kids. Forget it.
This is a dream.
"I love you, Layla," he whispered so beautifully while trying to un strap my bra.
"I...I..."
Oh fuck no, why....
"I can't do this! I'm sorry Billie, but please...stop."
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