I rested my head against the slide, my pale blond bangs brushing against my face. "I'm so stupid." I murmured.
I hated Archer. I absoloutley hated him.
And you know what's worse?
I hated myself more.
How could I do this too my best friend? Liz was going to be so mad at me. She was going to be disappointed and hurt. And I let Archer play me like that. It was entirely my fault. I felt like such a sl*t. That's what I was. A sl*t. What kind of a friend cheats on their best friends boyfriend?
After our.. incident, I'd ran out of my flat. I just needed to get away. I'd found a little park, somewhere in the heart of the city, and I was now sitting underneath the slide.
Screw football practice. I had more important things to worry about.
The white snow fell softly around me, and I shivered.
I pulled my phone out of my jeans pocket, the blue-ish light glowing against the blinding white of the snow. "Hey." A soft voice next to me made me jump.
"Cedric?" I asked, looking around. Sure enough, Cedric was just sitting down. "What happened?" He asked. His brown eyes looked worried.
I didn't answer him.
"Journey, come on." He coaxed.
I wrapped my arms around my knees. "I'm such a sl*t." I moaned. Cedric ran a hand through his hair. "It was something Archer did, right?" He asked. I nodded. "Yes. Of course it was."
Cedric rolled his eyes. "I could say some mean things, but I won't. Because I'm nice. What happened with Archer?"
I buried my face in my hands. "It's stupid. We just.. I don't know. We went.. further than a kiss. I hate him. I hate him for even thinking about doing things like that with me when he's with Liz, and I hate myself for letting him play me. I'm so retarded. Everyone will find out and hate me. And I hate myself anyways."
Cedric raised his eyebrows. "You didn't have sex, right?"
I gasped. "Oh, God, no!"
Cedric let out a sigh of relief. "Okay. Well... Journey, do you like Archer? I mean, I know there's something beneath all the hate.. Archer clearly is not into Liz."
I laughed at the absurdity. "What the hell are you talking about? I hate Archer with a burning passion. Archer likes Liz. It's not like I'm jealous."
Cedric shrugged. "Well, then it's just hormones. I mean.. there was no spark right?"
I bit my lip.
"No. There wasn't."
"Alright. Well... I'm going to go now. You better go home now. It's cold. We'll talk more later."
I sighed and stood up.
It was when I finally opened the door to my now empty flat, that I realized my answer to Cedric was a lie.
-----
I woke up in the morning and lay in my bed, not feeling at all like P Diddy.
My head ached, and when I got up to examine my face in the mirror, I had black circles underneath my eyes. I left my silky hair as a curtain between me and the world, and slipped into black baggy sweatpants and a blue Bring Me The Horizon hoodie. I grabbed a black beanie and secured it on my head.
I stepped into the kitchen, pouring myself some cocoa pebbles. Haile was sitting on the counter, and she smirked when she saw me.
"You look like you're mourning. Why the dark colors?" she asked.
I stared at her skinny jeans, uggs, and modified white button down shirt. Haile loved doing things like that- the sleeves to the shirt were cut off, and the sides were ripped and tied back up to made it tighter fitting. On top of the white shirt she had a red and blue abercrombie cardigan. It sounded weird, but fitted together perfectly.
"I don't know." I replied lamely, pushing my cereal around the bowl.
"Oh come on. You got some of the good stuff last night didn't you?" She asked.
I dumped my cereal out without eating it and grabbed my bag. "No, and I don't want any, especially from that looser."
I stormed out and walked to school, glaring the whole way.
I tentatively pushed open the school doors, expecting the school to be gathered around in a circle saying nasty things, or gathered in a line carrying heavy bowling balls, or with tomatoes and rotten tomatoes in their hands.
But there was absoloutley nothing. Just people milling around.
I cautiously stepped in.
Suddenly, I was engulfed in a huge hug.
I turned to see Liz, smiling sheepishly at me. "Oh my gosh, Journey! I'm sorry for bieng mean to you.. I do need to be carefull of Archer. He's a player, but last night he told me he loved me!"
I raised my eyebrows.
"He did..?"
"Yes! And I was so happy, and then because I was thinking so clearly, I realized you didn't know he really cared about me, so you thought he was using me. But it's totally okay. You didn't know, you were just bieng a good friend."
My mouth fell open.
"He.. I.."
Liz bit her lip. "Are you going to forgive me?"
"I-- y- yeah.. but it was my fault--"
Liz cut me off with another hug. Guilt flooded my whole bieng. The bell rang before I could say anything else.
I walked quickly to 1st period, my thoughts flowing through my head like the freaking amazon river. Archer had told Liz he loved her after what we did.. Liz thought she was in the wrong, even though I had just cheated on her.. and did Archer actually love her? I was so confused.
I sat down in first period, and actually listened for once, to take my mind off of my complicated life.
I paid attention to everything in class, and took notes. I could tell Ms. Reynolds was surprised.
Halfway through class, I wrote a bathroom pass and sprinted out of the classroom. I really needed to go.. right now.
If I could just make it to the bathroom..
I was almost there when I ran straight into something hard yet warm.
I let out a yelp as we crashed to the floor.
I took in a sharp breath of air and the person grabbed my elbows. A stream of voltage flew up my arms.
I stared down into a pair of green-gold eyes. I quickly got off of Archer.
"Sorry." I muttered, standing up. Archer was upright in the same moment.
"Where were you yesterday?" He asked.
"What?" I asked, slightly dazed by the electricity still coursing through me.
"You were supposed to come run laps with us on the football team."
I shrugged. "Whatever."
I began walking to the bathroom, but Archer grabbed my shoulder. I jumped away from him. The sparks were getting stronger.
"Wait Journey," he said. "I'm sorry about yesterday."
I turned around, shocked. "What?"
But as I turned to face him, I saw his signature smirk, and saw it coming before it came.
"But that doesn't mean we can't do it again."
Before I knew what I was doing, my hand reached out and slapped Archer right on the face. He didn't move, and it didn't look like it hurt him, but I saw a flash of sadness in his eyes. It disappeared though, as quickly as it came.
"Leave. Me. Alone," I hissed, enunciating every word.
"I never want to see your face around here again. You haven't changed one bit."
I turned and walked slowly to the bathroom, my head spinning.
"Wait! Journey!" I heard from behind me. I ignored it.
I propped myself up on the counter and sighed. I needed a new plan. I needed to forget about Archer and live my life. It didn't matter that I hated him, as long as I just ignored him. And that's what I was going to do. Ignore him. I was going to go back to my usual self. I couldn't let myself break because of a stupid boy.
I sat with Liz and Dustin at lunch, and payed attention in every class.
The end of the day came too quickly. I walked out of Mr. Valencia's girl 7th period class and to the empty girls locker room, changing into my black running shorts and a white tank top. I pulled my hair up, into a messy bun and grabbed my sneakers.
I marched onto the field, a bright smile on my face.
I was greeted by the sunny but chilly Canada weather, and a group of extremley hot guys.
"What is she doing here?" One of them asked, a muscled brunette guy with a buzz cut and dull grey eyes. I'd seen him in my 5th period- his name was Rodd. "I'm supposed to run laps with you guys.. every day!" I said, trying to be excited.
I mean, I was working out with a bunch of hot, sweaty guys.
Rodd grinned. "Doesn't sound too bad." He said.
Another guy walked up to me and high fived me. "I heard you disprespected Ms. Reynolds, so you have to do this. But it's no problem, we'll go slow so you don't feel left out."
I laughed. "You don't have to do that for me." I said, shooting him one of my special smiles. The guy smirked playfully. "You know, you're not as innocent as you seem." He said under his breath as we all line up in a row at one side of the field.
I grinned. He was the first one to figure out my act. "I think we're going to be great friends." I replied.
"I'm Greyson." He said.
"I'm Journey."
"Oh, we know."
I laughed.
The coach came out onto the field, with- guess who- Archer, right behind him.
"Alright guys, I'm gonna be gone today, so Archer is going to be the coach for the day. And Journey, I need to talk you for a sec. The rest of you, give me 50 pushups."
Everyone dropped to the ground, and I followed the coach into his office.
"What's up, coach?" I asked. He regarded me sternly.
"Journey, you're gonna call me Coach Robertson, not coach."
"Okay, Coach!"
He sighed. "You're a tricky one aren't you? Well, Ms.Reynolds wanted me to let you know that you're now required to not only run laps, but do the whole practice with the team, because you skipped yesteday."
My mouth dropped. "But Coach! I'm a girl! I'll be crushed!"
Coach Robertson patted my shoulder. "Be a man! Suck it up!" With that, he grabbed his bag and jogged out of the room. I growled and marched out of his office, to where the boys were just standing up.
"Alright guys, 10 laps, now."
All of the boys started to move, seemingly effortlessly, across the field, Archer with them. "Come on Journey!" He said, grinning.
I looked at him, without an expression on my face. He might as well just be invisible.
I started running, stretching my long legs. I actually stayed in the middle of the pack for the whole time, not falling behind once.
After the ten laps, I was sweating and panting, though, and no one else was even slightly tired.
I collapsed on the ground and put my arms behind my head, not listening as Archer told the team what to do. Greyson raised his eyebrows at me. "What are you doing?" He asked, amused. I shrugged. "Resting."
"Journey! Off the ground!" Archer yelled. I snorted. No way in hell was I going to get up and obey him.
"Did you hear me?" He snapped, standing over me. I was about to roll my eyes, but when our eyes met, I suddenly had the wierdest feeling.
I couldn't control my body. No matter how hard I fought against it, I couldn't.
My arms flew out from under my head and I mechanically got to my feet. I stared at Archer in shock. "St-st-" I wanted to yell at him to STOP but I couldn't. Archer looked horrified.
"Wh-what th-"
Archer looked away for a second and I let out a cry of surprise and fell to my knees, the tension gone so suddenly, I was shocked. "What the hell was tha--"
Archer looked at me again, and my mouth closed.
He could see in my eyes how scared I was,and I saw the fear in my eyes reflected in his.
He looked away, and I took the oppurtunity to scrambled to my feet and sprint away, away from school, away from Archer.
What in hell was that?
Why did he have control over me suddenly?
I flew up the stairs to my apartment and opened the door. I leaned against the door. What was wrong with me? I was scared.
There was no other way to say it.
Suddenly, the door was wrenched open. I yelped as I fell backwards; since I had been leaning against it, I was now freefalling.
I closed my eyes, preparing for impact, but I fell into something that sent the sparks flying in my body. I looked up and saw those familiar eyes, electric green with bright gold flecks, surrounded by dark lashes.
I couldn't move, just like on the field.
I squeezed my eyes shut tight, trying to get his eyes out of my mind. It worked, and I stumbled away, my eyes still closed. "Don't look at me!" I said, through gritted teeth.
"I'm not," Archer said. I opened my eyes and saw him staring at the floor.
"I'm sorry." He continued.
"No, you're NOT!" I sobbed. "Get OUT!"
"Journey, you can't do this--"
"I can do whatever I want! Leave me alone!" He looked up and I met his eyes.
I wasn't frozen anymore.
I hated him.
"You told Liz that you loved her. Do you even like her?" I cried.
To my surprise, Archer dropped on his knees, his head in his hands. "No." He whispered.
"I love you, Journey."
My heart gave a jolt, and I felt like I was ripping apart.
"I don't know if you're lying to me, the way you lied to Liz."
Archer got up, and I could see dark circles under his eyes.
He turned around and left.
----
A/N: happy late birthday, bichonpup. I tried to get this out yesterday, but my Mom made me go to bed..