A/N Hiya Guys, double update woooo! Make sure you vote and comment on both!! Enjoy
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You know when you have one of those days, the ones that make you feel small and inferior? Well, today was one of those days. But not only that, I felt sad. It's been a week since I met Lizzie and last saw Jack.
I just feel... weak.
I decided I needed to do something. Something other than sitting around crying. Something to take my mind off of things.
I eventually decided to go for a run. So I pulled on some cropped exercise leggings and a sports bra. I grabbed my black and white Nike Roshe and put on my armband to put my phone in.
I left the house, after contemplating what route to run. Deciding on the route that would lead me through the park and along the high street and then down some residential area, I set off.
I needed something to take my mind off of everything. And what better than exercise, because exercise gives you endorphins and they make you happy. Sounds good right?
I turned on my 'Exercise Playlist' and 'Irresistible by Fall Out Boy' came on. I jogged down my road and to the park where I followed the path and then cut across the grassy field. As my feet pounded on the grass, my body shuddered at the contact. I kept going, the music motivating me as it flooded through my headphones.
I was almost done with my run when all of a sudden the song which was edgy and full of bass, changed to something slower and softer. What?
Oh that's right, I'm usually done by now. It's probably my warm down.
It was only when I realised the song that was playing was 'Falling In Love by McFLY', that I got even sadder than I was previously.
'Everyday feels like a Monday,
There is, no escaping from the heartache,
Now I, gotta put it back together,
'Coz it's, always better late then never.
Wishin' I could be in California,
I wanna tell ya when I call ya,
I could've fallen in love,
I wish I'd fallen in love'
It was tugging on my heart strings. I love the song, but never had I felt such a connection to it.
'Out of our minds and out of time
Wishin' I could be with you,
And to share the view,
We could've fallen in love,
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Waking up to people talking
And it's, getting later every morning
Now I, realise it's nearly midday
And I've, wasted half my life, to throw it away,
Saying
Everyday should be a new day,
To make you smile and find a new way,
Of falling in love,
Yeah falling in love'
But had I fallen in love? I mean I liked Tom. Like really, really liked him but I don't think I loved him.
'Out of our minds, and out of time,
Wishin' I could be with you,
To share the view, oh
We could've fallen in love
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh
We could've fallen in love
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Out of our minds, and out of time,
Wishin' I could be with you,
To share the view, oh
We could've fallen in love
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh
We could've fallen in love
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
But did I love someone? As much as I hate the person right now, I can't help but what they said.
'Because I fucking love you Jess!'
I mean, not put in the most romantic of terms, but at least he does.
Shut up! I scolded myself internally.
'Out of our minds, and out of time,
Wishin' I could be with you,
To share the view, oh
We could've fallen in love
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh
We could've fallen in love
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Out of our minds, and out of time,
Wishin' I could be with you,
To share the view, oh
We could've fallen in love
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh
We could've fallen in love-'
That's when I fell apart. I dropped to the ground, fortunately next to a tree so I could lean up against it as I sobbed. I can't believe it. When did my life get so screwed up?
Jack loves me. I mean truly loves me. I saw that in the way he looked at me that day and last week.
Do I love him?
No you can't!! I scolded myself again.
Or can you? My subconscious jested.
No, yes? No! I can't. Can I?
Oh I'm fed up of this, I need a drink. Preferably something strong.
I stood up and brushed the dried grass cuttings off of my legs. Wiping my eyes I jogged to the nearest pub, which fortuitously wasn't that far. I sent Beth a quick text telling her to meet me there. Thankfully I'd shoved a twenty into my armband just in case I needed a taxi. But this would be a much better use of my cash.
When I got to the pub, I headed straight to the bar. I sat on a stool an signalled the bar tender who gladly walked over. Beth, had not turned up yet so I was on my own.
"What can I get you?" The very attractive guy behind the bar said.
"Something strong" I muttered.
He chuckled. "Coming right up" he messed around mixing some stuff, shaking it around, adding something else and then he finally served it.
I took the glass in my hand and drunk it down in one. "Thanks"
He laughed. "One of them nights huh?"
"Tell me about it" I grumbled.
"So whats a beautiful young lady such as yourself doing at a bar, by herself, drowning her sorrows in alcohol?" He said with a smile on his face.
"You think I'm beautiful?" I blushed.
He chuckled nervously. "Well... yeah. But that doesn't answer my question"
So I told him everything that happened with Tom and Jack and he nodded in understanding.
"Shit. No wonder you're here" I just nodded.
"How much do I owe you for the drink?"
"Nothing. On the house, my treat" he winked.
"Thank you" I said with a smile.
"There you are!" A familiar voice said. Beth. "I've been looking everywhere for you, I should've know you'd be at the bar" she said smacking her head.
Marcus, the bartender chuckled, and this caught Beth's attention.
"Hello?" She asked suspicously.
"Hi, you must be Beth?" Beth raised her eye brows.
"Yeah?"
"Well from what I've heard, you are a very good friend" she blushed.
"Well not to toot my own horn or anything but, I'm not bad" she said with a smirk on her face. We all laughed.
I was already quite tipsy. Whatever Marcus put in there must have been strong because usually I can hold my alcohol well.
"Why are you here anyway?" Beth asked, taking a sip of the coke she had ordered. Ahh she's being sensible.
"To drown my sorrows" I said with a sad smile.
"Why what happened?" I gave her a 'Are you serious?' look and she finally understood. "I'm sorry Jess"
"Don't be, its not your fault"
So we sat at the bar drinking in a comfortable silence.
Drink after drink came and each one I drank. Despite the worrying looks Beth was sending me.
Unfortunately Marcus left a while ago. Said his shift was over and he had to get up early for his day job, as the club was only a sideline job of a night.
I needed another drink.
"Bartender!" I shouted.
"Come on lets get you home" Beth utters.
"No I want to st-stayyyy!" I slurred heavily. "Beth you have threeeeee headdddsss" Chuckling as I slurred I watched Beth shake her head; whichever one was the real one.
"I'm calling for someone to pick us up" she said pulling out her phone an then placing it to her ear. "Uugghh voicemail. Jack it is then"
"Noooo! Don't call that asshole! I don't wannntttt hiimmm to savee meeee"
"I have to Jess" she said with an apologetic look on her face.
"No you donut! You donut need to call him! He huuurrttt me Beff" I whimpered, a couple of tears escaping.
"I'm sorry Jess" she shot me one last smile and then put the phone to her ear.
"Noo" I whined. "Please Beth nooo"
She finished her conversation on the phone and retook her seat next to me. I did not(italics) want to see that shithead anytime soon. Forever wouldn't be long enough!
What happened to the thoughts from earlier? They went out the window as soon as I downed my 5th shot of vodka.
About 10 minutes later Beth stood up and walked over to a tall figure stood a few feet away.
I could just make out part of their conversation. It sounded something like this.
"She's a mess-"... "don't understand whats-"... "Into her" Beth said.
"Ok-"... "I'll take you both home" he said in reply.
Next thing I know I'm being swooped up into Jacks muscular arms.
"Get off me Jacckkkkk" I tried to sound threatening but I sounded more like a 3 year old getting drunk on haribos.
"Sorry Jess... for everything" he whispered in my ear.
I snorted. "Yeah righttt. If youuu ha just told mee to start with, neeitherrr of us would be here right noww" I sounded horrendous.
"I honestly am truly sorry Jess, more than you will probably ever know" he whispered softly again, causing shivers to cascade down my back like a waterfall.
"You hurt me Jack" I whimpered.
"I know baby, and I didn't tell you because I thought what you didn't know, wouldn't hurt you. And I also thought you two might be over by now. But Jess, you've got to believe me when I say I would never intentionally hurt you"
"Well it did hurt me" I said as he placed me in the front seat of his car. "I didn't know you could drive now"
"Just passed my test" he nodded and then I fell to sleep.
I was awoken by the two of them talking.
"I think I'm just going to stay at hers tonight. Make sure shes okay" Jack said.
"Ok but are you sure she's gonna be ok with that? You aren't really her favourite person right now" she said.
"I know but, I'd rather face her wrath and make sure shes okay than stay up half the night worrying if shes choking on her own sick. And anyway, I wasn't the one who cheated on her. I didn't tell her to help her avoid heartbreak but..."
"Fair point and I know Jack but you kept it from her. You're one of her best friends and you withheld vital information from her. Just give her time." He nodded. "Anyway night Jack" she said and she walked up to her house. Jack drove off and pulled up onto the driveway of my house.
Scooping me up bridal style he carried me to the front door.
"Is your Dad in?" He asked.
I glanced around, no car. I shook my head.
"Ok" he bent down slightly, still holding me in his arms. He rummaged through the little plant pot until he came across the key.
Perks of being an ex best friend I suppose; you know where all the keys are.
He unlocked the door and carried me up the stairs, placing me on my bed.
"Beth was right" I muttered.
"About what?"
"You not being my favourite person right now"
"You heard that huh?" He paused "Well if I'm being completely honest, I'm not my favourite person at the minute either" he said scratching his neck.
Looking closely at his eyes, I could see the bags under them; even in the dark.
"Jess I am really sorry for not telling you about that dickhead. It was a dumb move and I promise I will be completely honest with you from now on" he stood up. "I'm going to sleep in your guest room. Just shout if you need me" he walked over to the door.
"Jack..."
He turned round. "Yeah?"
"Thank you"
"What for?" He said confused.
"Getting me home safely"
He nodded. "No problem" and then he walked out, shutting the door gently behind him.
I thought over the conversation he and Beth had earlier on. Was I being to hard on Jack? After all he didn't do the cheating. And the fact that he said if he didn't stay with me tonight, or else he'd be worrying all night, warmed my heart.
I understand where he's coming from I suppose.
And then I drifted off into a deep sleep, thinking about my life, and Jack...