A strong knock on the door urged me to get up from the cold bathroom tiles and open.
"Phoebs, don't cry, okay? Phoebe..." Isaac starts comforting me as he sees me struggling to fight back the tears. He takes me into his arms and pets me gently on the back as I hiccup and burry my eyes in his shoulder.
"Phoebe, if you have a baby you can have an abortion. I will come with you if you need me. I don't mind. Things will be ok, trust me. So many women have abortions nowadays and carry on with their lives..."
Isaac kept saying things about abortions that only made me feel worse and worse. If I had a child, how could I end its life just because I am irresponsible and dumb? And because a dumb ass might have not put the condom properly? I wouldn't forgive myself for doing such a thing. However, Isaac was only trying to be helpful so as he held me in his arms, I didn't speak at all, not even objecting his abortion idea. I think I am too tired and too sick to object anything. I just want to do that pregnancy test.
"Isaac.. How much do I owe you?" I ask him, picking up the rectangular box from his hand.
"3, darling. I don't give a damn, don't worry."
Before going into the bathroom, I took Isaac into the living room and told him to make comfy, went to my desk and opened a drawer. I took a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. I think I was becoming addicted again. As I stepped out from the living room, cigarette in mouth, lighter prepared, Isaac scoffed at me:
"You used to smoke the first year, didn't you? The first year in Ireland, you used to smoke. But you quit. Don't start smoking again, please..."
"If I have a baby, I won't smoke. And yes, I did smoke. A lot. But I feel the need to smoke a ciggie now."
Closing the door behind me, I followed the instructions. So I found myself peeing on the little screen plastic stick that was to decide my future. They said wait about 5 minutes. So I waited.
"Isaac!" I called, as if waking up from a spell.
"YES, I AM HERE. ARE YOU OK?"
Throwing the cigarette on the little bathroom window, picking up the stick and its rectangular box, I opened the door to find a tensed Isaac, who had, for the first time in forever, a very serious look.
"Shall I call Mtv for a new volunteer at 16& Pregnant?"
"NOT TODAY!!!"
"YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT.."
"I HAVE NO BABY, ISAAC, I HAVE NO BABY!!!"
We started laughing like two idiots and I even started crying tears of joy. Phew, that's one real relief. Why did I throw up, than? I think I ate something... Oh, yeah, some old milk I had around in my fridge.
"I am profoundly shaken." Isaac says, quitting laughing.
"Well, than I shall tell you the whole shit, now..."
I made some Sheffield tea I had from my parents when I visited them in winter and than we sat on the couch. After about 15 minutes of talking, Isaac finally interrupts me with a question.
"So, basically, Alex Turner fell in love with you?"
"Well, yes..."
He smiled as if he knew something I didn't.
"What?"
"He used to have a minor crush on you when we were kids, too."
"I will have to question that as well, but I have two short things to say and than you will be the one telling the story. So, he went at Radio 5 and sang something and dedicated a song to, I quote, "a little Mardy Bum I appreciate a lot". And he asked me out live. We were supposed to go at Submarine, a movie whose soundtrack is his creation. And than I bumped into him later that day and he was sober and he was very cheeky and we eventually started making out and... Yeah.. In the morning, he explained me that his manager had been told that Alex had to be back in London as soon as possible because they were having trouble with the soundtrack and they needed him to write another song until Friday, when the movie would be launched. He told me the manager cancelled the rest of the tour in Ireland without asking him and he said how he argued with the manager because he wasn't allowed to see anyone from Ireland because his life was in London. He was leaving in five hours."
To my surprise, no tears were now stinging my eyes, just a feeling of loneliness and sadness overwhelmed me. Isaac took my hand in his and squeezed it, as if to tell me it is ok. Isaac was never good with words. I mean, he was very good at foreign languages and he had great results in contests and stuff, but he wasn't that good at writing and speaking. In exchange, he could play the piano. He is in the school's orchestra. He plays the piano so beautifully it makes you cry. I remember hearing the piano every evening when he was still in Sheffield. My family would magically say no other word and would listen charmed at the window. Everybody loved Isaac's plays even then, when he was just a beginner. He has loads of talent.
"So, that's it? He just left?! That freaking bastard"
"Yes. Well, he told me we would see each other again blah blah blah..."
I looked at the quiet Ben from my lap and than took a quick glance at Isaac. He looked as if he was going to cry. Looking closer, I saw anger. I squeezed his warm hand and made him pay attention again.
"Now... You are saying that the guy who was ummm... 3 years older than us is Alex?"
"Yes. You have to remember. His parents used to fight often. I mean, really often. Not only verbally, Phoebe..."
I remain paralyzed for a few seconds. A flashback darts in front of my eyes making me remember the screaming and shouting from our right side neighbor's house. I remember looking on the window and seeing a hot 14 year-old with a guitar in the front yard, playing some sad tune. I suddenly remember how me and Isaac used to play in the street. We were about 8, I believe... And than there was this guy Axel who just seemed very fancy and bossy, who was Isaac's best friend.
"Axel... Used to play the guitar when his parents fought?"
"Yes."
"Axel is Alex?!"
"Yes, darling. We still keep in touch."
"All this time, you were best friends with a rock star and you didn't even remind me that he was our childhood friend?!"
"He was, in fact, more of my childhood friend. You despised him. I remember you said he was a walking chopstick without manners."
"Bitchy me. You say he had a minor crush on me?"
"Yeah, he used to. I guess his feelings are back now... He used to talk about you randomly. For instance, he was once at my place and I was packing the boxes to leave Sheffield-you know, my mom found that idiot so we left for him- and he was staying on the bed, flicking through my stuff very quietly when he suddenly said: ' She is wonderful, dude. I mean, have you seen those eyes? If it weren't for you, I would have never seen them. I am afraid I won't ever see those eyes again, now that you're leaving. Thank you, Isaac. You are a wonderful person as well.' And than he got up and patted me on the shoulder, gave me a quick hug and since then, I only saw him in concerts and only heard his voice on the telephone. On the morning I left, I went to Alex's mom and asked her if I could see him because I was leaving and never coming back and she called for him from downstairs and all he said was: 'With that piano of yours, dude, every girl will fall for you, so everything will be just fine. Take care!'"
"Typical."
"Yes, I know... He was about 12 or 13, I don't remember..."
A faint smile crosses my face as I realize that Alex told me that Sunday that he will never see those eyes again. He must have recognized me... But he said nothing.
"Oh my God, this is so asdfghjkl!"
"Asdfghjkl meaning...?"
"Weird, interesting, cool, awesome, all at once!"
After some more chatting about school and our own selves, Isaac had to leave.
"Piano practice, gotta go. I am glad I was helpful. Bye Phoebs!"
"Bye bye, Isaac. Take care and good luck! Thanks for everything!"
"Hey. It was the least I could do."
He gave me a quick goodbye kiss on my cheek and headed to the elevator.
Closing the door behind me, I went in the living room, put on shuffle my iPod music, connected it to my speaker and let it play. I made a coffee and sat down at my desk, pencil in hand. I had three compositions to do for tomorrow and I also wanted to continue a manuscript I have been working on for quite some time. It will be my first novel. Or, at least, a hopefully successful novel attempt. It is about a girl who is a lot into reading and how the favorite character of her favorite book knocks on her door one day and yells at her:"I know how your story ends and I want to change it!" Pretty cool, I know. I saw this thing on tumblr once and I immediately realized that it would be a hell of a story! Mainly, that girl, called Julianne, was me. And the book character who knocked on my door was Holden Caulfield. Obviously. Through some kind of time hole, Holden would come to life through J.D.Salinger's imagination skills and would read a book. My story's book. He would be absolutely devastated and would wish to be able to contact me and support me throughout my life(well, Julliane's life) in order to change the ending. A very tragic ending that I haven't particularly thought of. Anyway, Holden manages to come to life and travel through galaxies and find Julianne who keeps living her life with Holden by her side, believing that things changed because of his appearance. In fact, it didn't change. On her death bed, Julliane would tell Holden that even if the ending was the same, her life was changed, because of him, her devoted friend. I thought ten moves in advance. Even if Alex looked on my desk when he first came here, the manuscript was tucked under some notebooks and, thankfully, he didn't find it. It would have been very awkward.
Now it's three in the morning. I finished my homework and I still feel pretty capable of writing a few pages. I am very excited for that project I will be taking part of. This summer will be awesome. You know the feeling you get when all your hard work has been rewarded? Well, this project I was selected to participate in is the supreme reward for all the nights spent studying languages, for all the sacrifices I made(from skipping a day out with my friends to moving home).
I will have the chance to visit America and meet some contemporary authors that will be gathering in New York for about two weeks. The rest of the summer, I will be able to go to ComicCon, VidCon and so on and also visit my favorite writers. Me and Isaac are the only people from Ireland going in America. I quote, 'you have been selected according to your results in foreign languages and writing contests(Phoebe Phillis) and piano and foreign languages contests(Isaac Martin)'. Isaac was asked to play in the background every time some conference there would be taking place. He is allowed to talk to the writers but he can't interview them because, they said in the letter our principal received regarding our situation, Isaac didn't have such writing skills as I did. Except for that, Isaac has the same program as we do. This 'we' is pretty unknown to me. I know that students our age from France, Italy, Germany, Norway, England, USA, Australia and Austria are going to be there. These conferences with authors are exclusively organized for us,'the future generation of artists, in order to gain experience, trust and hope.' Yes. This thing is extremely real and serious.
****
"Oh my... IT'S EIGHT THIRTY WHAT THE HELL?!"
I fell asleep right there, at my desk. I didn't even realize. I get up fast, extremely tired and check out the number of written pages. Boom, 12! Great, Phoebe, productive night. That sounds so wrong.
I shower with the speed of lightning, thinking about The Flash. Isaac used to love comics when we were kids. He had a bunch of those magazines. His favorite hero was Bat Man, because, he said: I don't have parents, just like him. My mom is no parent. Interesting way to start your morning, Phoebe. By remembering tragic things people you care about said. I munch on some biscuits as I dress up and pack my books in my black leather bag, than I clean up Ben's morning pee. I leave him water and food and take a cab to school.
"ARE YOU AND ISAAC A COUPLE?! BECAUSE DYLAN SAW HIM YESTERDAY ENTERING YOUR BLOCK OF FLATS AND WE WERE WONDERING..." Haley spits, as Lydia from Teen Wolf probably would. Haley is so energetic and spontaneous it makes you shiver.
"Haley. If me and Isaac had been a couple, trust me, you and Dylan would have been the first ones to know." I put a hand on her shoulder, using a slightly mocking tone. It almost made me laugh. How could me and Isaac be together?! The whole school knew that he had a crush on Bethany, Haley's rival in beauty. Bethany is the real definition of bitch. She is said to be so horny that if she is drunk, she would literally have sex with anyone if they tell her that her boobs are big. Gross... But that really is the kind of thing that crosses your mind when you see her wiggling her butt on the hallways. Poor Isaac... He must have banged her at a party when they were both drunk and since then, his heels are on fire for one of the dumbest girls in school. And even if Isaac hadn't had a crush on Bethany, we wouldn't have been a couple anyway. We are a great team and we are wonderful friends. The 'burn your house to ashes if you mess with my bestie' kind of friend. And I assure you, my little crush on him is because of his profoundness and because of his flawless physique. As a human, he is not my type.
"PHOEEEEEEEEEBSSSSSS!"
A happy Isaac comes running and traps me into a hug from behind, making me laugh. Haley was still there, giving me that 'yeah, sure not a couple' look.
"I GOT NEWS. LIKE, GREAT NEWS. ALEX IS GOING TO BE PRESENT AT VIDCON THIS YEAR BECAUSE THEY WANT THE ARCTIC MONKEYS TO HAVE A LITTLE GIG THERE."
My smile suddenly faded and all I could say was:
"Shit."
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Hello, everyone! I want to thank you for reading my story, I am glad to know that there are a few people who stay tuned! If you liked it, make sure to leave a vote and even a comment! Both negative and positive feedback would help me a lot, so that I find out what your kind of writing would be like :) . Tell your friends about my story, make it grow! Thank you again! xx