"Maa, I am fine.." Satanika groans.
"Lay down, young man," Draupadi glares at him.
Suddenly Satanika has a very high fever. He didn't say that to anyone. He was coughing for a few days and suddenly a few hours ago, he vomited during breakfast.
"Can't believe you got this sick. You were fine stealing my Vijaya while I prayed even this morning," Karna says.
Despite being sick Satanika stole his Vijaya while he was praying to Suryanarayana. Even when he could sense it, he couldn't break his prayer. After he turned around finally, Satanika was gone so was his Vijaya. Karna sighs. This has become a daily matter for him. Satanika and Shrutakarma usually do the stealing. They tried to coerce Abhimanyu a few days ago about doing that. That innocent child came and ask Karna to have his Vijaya instead. Satanika and Shrutakarma were never ashamed more. Who asks for permission?
"Stop blaming my son, Karna. My poor child is sick," Draupadi scolds him.
Satanika smirks despite his condition which doesn't go unnoticed by Karna and his fathers. All look at Nakula with fed up eyes.
"Please stop looking at me. I play no part in his schemes," Nakula sighs frustrated.
"It's just we get terrible flashbacks, Nakula. You had to have a son who is your junior version," Bheema groans.
"How is it my fault? Panchali gave birth to him!" Nakula shirks.
"Shut up you all. Panchali is so concerned," Yudhisthira sits beside Draupadi.
"Arya Nakula, Arya Sahadeva why is the fever so high?" Draupadi asks worried.
"Putra, did you bathed in rain or something? You got a terrible cold," Sahadeva says worriedly.
Satanika's mind plays back his little water sport with Devasena but he starts mum. He looks at Karna from the corner of his eyes who was looking at him his eyebrows raised. Satanika slowly closes his eyes. He better not test him anymore today.
"Maa, my head aches so badly," Satanika snuggles in his mother's lap.
Draupadi is no better. Satanika is sick, but it seems like Draupadi is suffering more than him.
"My little boy, I will massage your head. Nakula is it fine if I use hot oil?" Draupadi asks.
"It's better if you don't. Oil has cooling effect on our scale. He might get more sick. But you can massage his chest, palms and feet. I will tell the maids," Nakula says.
Draupadi gently begins to massage his head and forehead. Satanika smiles boyishly snuggling to her lap more.
"Why do I feel he is pretending?" Sutasoma speaks his doubt.
Satanika begins to cough hearing that. No, he is sick. Why doesn't anyone believe him?
"Maa, I don't like these noise," he groans.
"Of course. Everyone get out," Draupadi shoos them away.
"Panchali, the medication is given. He will be...." Nakula tries to interfere.
"NOW,"
"Let's go out Nakula. If it comes to her sons, all her senses fly away," Karna pulls the twins outside.
All of them leave and Draupadi stays there Satanika in her lap. He snores lightly after some time. Draupadi couldn't bring herself to remove his head from her lap. He looks so much as his younger self while sleeping.
"When did you grow up? Now you are a worthy warrior and asset of your motherland," Draupadi says fondly.
Satanika has Nakula's dusky complexion. Her ocean blue orbs but Nakula's gorgeous uncontrollable curls in her blueish black color. His feathers are like his father mostly. That pointed nose, sharp jawline, piercing gaze. Though he grew taller than his father which Nakula often frowns about. But he screams that he is her son. His gait, his bold way of speaking, his courage. Among all her sons, he poses a few traits of hers only.
Draupadi looks around his chamber. It's decorated very simply but lavishly. All the things here are very rare and utterly luxurious. Some are so valuable that they are equal to yearly income of small kingdoms around Aryavarta. She chuckles. He got his father's expensive taste as well.
Her mind goes back to the days when this child was born.
A child's crying could be heard and the Pandavas outside the door were relieved.
"Congratulations, Yuvraj! Maharani has bore a son again," the maids come out.
Yudhisthira donates his valuable necklace to the maids immediately upon hearing. Nakula almost jumps in joy. He rushes inside.
The ved immediately hushes them, "Please be quiet. Maharani has fallen asleep."
They peeks inside the curtain. Exhaustion all over her face, she is sleeping soundly. Nakula carefully steps inside and kisses her forehead.
"Here is the Rajkumar. Maharaj, he looks a lot like Samragni," Malini hands the child to Nakula first.
"Finally! Panchali was so upset two times because Prativindhya and Sutasoma don't look like her," Bheem grins.
The child opens his eyes and looks at it's surroundings as if he understands everything.
"He got her eyes," Yudhisthira softly touches it's head.
Satanika moves his head in Yudhisthira's direction hearing his voice. The divine smell that comes from his body attracts him greatly. He keeps looking at him his eyes as big as tomatoes.
"Is he glaring at Jyest?" Sahadeva jokes.
"Let's punish him then," Bheem tickles his belly making him fall into fits of giggles.
"You are my first son. My own blood. My Panchali's son," Nakula says his voice heavy.
Satanika looks at his father. He throws his hand all over as if complaining about something. With great difficulty, he manages to grab his father's shining necklace. Other three again bursts into laughter.
"No questions asked, Nakula. That's your blood," Bheema snickers.
Nakula lovingly kisses it's head, "I name you Satanika. May you achieve great honor and become an worthy warrior for your mother."
The door cracks open and Draupadi looks at it annoyed. She clearly told the guards to not let anyone enter. But it wasn't her husbands or sons.
A petite woman comes inside nervously. Seeing her she becomes as surprised as if she saw a ghost. She joins her hands paying respect to Draupadi. Draupadi nods but her confusion didn't go away.
"Who are you?" Draupadi asks softly not waking her son up.
"I am the princess of Awanti, Devasena," she also replies softly.
"Why are you here? Lost?" Draupadi asks.
Devasena looks here and there then says, "I came to see Yuvraj. We...are friends and I was worried."
Draupadi smiles at her concern, "He is given medications and is sleeping. I am thankful that you came to visit."
"Samragni, I heard the fever is too high," Devasena says.
"It is," Draupadi answers softly. Draupadi begins to ask Devasena questions and she answers them without hesitating.
Draupadi reads the letter Govind send her again and again.
Sakhi,
The time is nearing. There will be bloodbath. You must stay prepared. This war will alter the history of world and you are the heroine of this era. Blood relationship won't save anyone. Brothers will be thirsty after their own brother's blood, uncles will have blood of their own nephews. Don't think war will bring you any peace. Either side will lose their loved ones. Be strong, sakhi. This might be your last test.
Last two nights, she couldn't sleep for a second. Both sides will lose their loved ones? What does that mean? The faces of her sons float in front of her. If she loses anyone of her sons, how will she live? Draupadi clutches her heart. It pains her even by thinking about it.
She died in that Dyut Sabha. The only thought that kept her alive this long is her sons. How will she tolerate even one of their death? Will she be okay after this war? Will her hair be able to carry the blood of her own sons?
Draupadi walks aimlessly. Devapath, which is the reason of her pride became meaningless to her in a second. She stands quietly at the terrace of the training ground. Yudhisthira and Prativindhya are engrossed in a duel. Both dodging and attacking each other as they train. Prativindhya becomes successful in disarming his father at some points. Other Pandavas and Upapandavas hail him. Prativindhya takes his father's blessings who hugs him tightly in his chest.
What if...what if...Yudhisthira lights his son's pyre with the very same hand that he is embracing him? What will happen to Siyaanshi? Her devotion and love towards her husband. Will she able to live without him? Luva and Kusha? They will grow without their father?
Bheema will be alright if his Sutasoma is no more? And Arjuna? He can't tolerate his sons Shrutakarma and Abhimanyu away from his eyes. Nakula? Sahadeva? How will they live without seeing the faces of their sons? How will they live without their laughter?
Draupadi sobs falling on the floor. Her heart paining as if someone has shot an arrow in it.
"Jiji," Subhadra panics seeing Draupadi.
"Jiji? What happened?" Subhadra didn't waste time pulling Draupadi in her arms.
Draupadi couldn't say anything. She only cries burying her face in Subhadra's chest making her more scared than before.
"Jiji? What happened? Jiji..jiji..." Subhadra's own voice was breaking seeing her cry.
"Subhadra...how will i tolerate pyres of my own sons...how..."
Draupadi didn't need to speak anymore, Subhadra pales in fear. Her hands begin to tremble. Abhimanyu...that child made her a mother. Filled up her empty lap with motherly affection. His pyre...how can it be?
"Jiji...don't say that...how can our sons be harmed? Jiji...they are the blood of the greatest warriors...what can happen to them..." Subhadra cries as well.
"I never doubted that...but Subhadra what's this fear that's not letting me breath? Why is my heart so anxious?"
"Jiji..please...don't say that...they will come out victorious...I am telling you..." Subhadra sobs as well.
Draupadi and Subhadra both cries with the unknown fear that has braced their heart like never before.
During Lunch, Draupadi serves her husbands and sons. Serving them all, she sits in front of her sons. She has the strong urge to see them eat to their content.
"Maa," Prativindhya's voice rang.
Draupadi looks at him. All six sons of hers have stopped eating and are looking at her while their smiles vanished completely. Pandavas also look up to her frown prominent on their faces.
Prativindhya abandons his seat and kneels in front of his mother. He cups his mother's face.
"Maa, what happened? Why are you crying? Prativindhya calls desperately.
In an instant, all sons of her has abandoned their seats and circled their mother. Draupadi herself doesn't know when she started to cry while serving them.
"Maa," others were no good seeing her cry.
"Mata Subhadra was crying too. She refused to come out to eat," Abhimanyu informs his brothers.
Though they know they should not interfere in woman's problems because their mother hates it. But they couldn't stop themselves now.Did both women argue?
"An... argument..?" Shrutakarma asks nervously.
Draupadi looks up and touches each of their faces. She gazes at them with affection and first time with fear.They are the result of her immense sacrifice. They are the light of her darkness, the pieces of her heart. How will she tolerate even one not in front of her?
"Maa, what's the use of this wealth and strength if your eyes are moist? Maa, how did we fail?" Satanika asks his hands clenching in a fist while his face twisted in pain.
"Maa, what's wrong?" Sutasoma holds her hand.
Draupadi couldn't meet their eyes. She can't bring herself to lie at their faces like this. She nods not saying anything. Her husbands are no good. But they also know if Draupadi doesn't wish to talk, no one can make her utter a single word.
No one noticed that Karna is absent from the dinner as well.
Upon Draupadi's request or pleading Pandavas didn't ask her anything. She also begged them to let her collect her thoughts tonight. In her chamber, in the dark, she sat wiping her tears again and again.
"What were you thinking when you didn't ask me to fight with you all?"
Draupadi jolts in surprise. Karna is leaning on the balcony. His eyes mirroring the same pain she has. She lowers her gaze.
Karna comes in and sits on the balcony beside her. Their bodies didn't touch but they suddenly feel that their pain has shifted between both of them.
"I couldn't ask you otherwise...you are destined to fight for them...you will be the hero of this war..."
"Draupadi! Do you still think that? So many death or a mere fame. What's more important here?"
Draupadi doesn't answer, "Karna, you don't know what you are saying. This world would always call you a betrayer...."
"I would have accepted that title happily rather than raising my weapon against my blood..." he turns her to look at him, "Now I have to raise them against Yudhisthira, Bheema, Arjuna, Nakul, Sahadeva, Prativindhya..."
Draupadi's lips tremble to say anything. Her heart succumbs into immense pain.
"Stop..." she whispers.
"You are telling me to stop where you gave me the cruelest punishment of all. Why?"
Draupadi looks away.
"What do I do, Yagnaseni? What do I do? Your heart twists in pain just thinking about the war ... you tremble with the thought of brothers raising their weapons against each other... how will you tolerate if..."
His voice grow grim, "Aside from Vrishaketu all my sons will be fighting on side of Kauravas. They asked me to convey their regards and asked forgiveness from you."
Karna need not to say more Draupadi breaks into tears.
"I don't know. I have send my husbands into war so many times. My sons did the same. Every time I was full with confidence. But this time I have a creeping fear that's not letting me rest. My tears flow unknowingly. I am scared..."
"You should be, Draupadi. Because this war isn't ordinary. This war will change the fate of world. And such war requires sacrifice," Karna's voice rang.
Draupadi sits without saying anything. This fear isn't even letting her cry now.
"You ... didn't ask Sahadeva anything?" Karna asks.
"I can't. He isn't allowed to tell me the outcome and that will pain him. I don't want him to suffer," Draupadi wipes her face.
"Sena?"
"I don't know how to ask him. Besides his marriage proposal just came. He and Nandini are so happy. I don't want to ruin it," Draupadi answers.
Karna looks at her without blinking. She didn't break with years long betrayal from her husbands, Dyutsabha couldn't break her. But now she cries helplessly in fear of losing her children. She stands out in the crowds of women. Purest of all, fire born princess. But now she is an ordinary mother, a loving wife.
Both of them sits silently. Their thoughts weren't different also wasn't their fear.
A/N
Hey guys! I was confused about how to end this. It can be a happy ending or a sad one, I am still thinking.
By the way, are the chapters okay? You guys response less and less. Are they too boring? Do they lack the emotions? Am I not portraying correctly?
Please let me know.
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