Namjoon isn't drunk, but he definitely can't be driving home after the number of drinks he's consumed with my brother. It wasn't my intention to meet up with my brother. In fact, my brother had invited me out and I told him no. However, when Namjoon and I started talking about the way we have sex, I needed an escape. I'm a little ashamed to admit that I was being turned on by the thought of us fucking and I knew that I couldn't control myself if we had continued. I'm too sore to be doing what we normally do.
"Chae-rin," he murmurs from the bed, leaving his arms wide open.
I let out a small smile at the view of him. Namjoon is freshly showered, his hair slightly damp, bare-chested in his pajama bottoms, smiling at me. He always looks so good after showering. There's something so comforting about him, especially when he's just about ready to go to bed. I feel my heart flutter and it's not the first time that this has happened lately. It's starting to scare me.
I know this feeling... I know it well but I want to be irresponsible. I want to deny the possibility because...well, he's my best friend. There's no way. We've known each other for so many years now and nothing has happened ever. Did the lines become this blurred the moment we decided to sleep with each other? I can't have feelings for him. No, I don't have feelings for him. He's my best friend. That's all.
"Chae-rin," he mumbles again, this time in a whinier voice.
I come back from my thoughts and my smile returns. "What's up?"
"Come here." He sits up so he can reach my hand and pulls me down to the bed. "Let's go to bed." He doesn't wait for me to respond before pulling me into his chest, wrapping his big arms around me.
My heart begins to race and I have to catch my breath. Stop it, Chae-rin! Stop it. I shrug out of his hold and clear my throat. "Namjoon, I need to shower still." I sit up immediately, creating a very much needed rift between our bodies. "You go to sleep first."
He frowns, sitting up again, before crawling on his knees to me. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," I tell him. "I just need to shower first."
He nods and sits next to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "Okay," he whispers in my ear, sending shivers down my spine.
I almost jump out of his hold, standing on my feet. "Go to sleep," I say, grabbing my clothes and rushing to the bathroom.
I think I know what it is. It's because he is so touchy! Before this whole arrangement, we never touched like that before. Well, obviously. I also mean, though, I rarely hugged him and he rarely hugged me. We never got in each other's personal bubble. Sure, we'd sit next to each other, sometimes our outer legs pressed against each other if we absolutely had to, but it never went beyond that.
It's become more than obvious that we need to talk. I need to figure out what the hell is going on. Ae-ra cheated on him. Does he still want her? If he does, does that mean that I still need to be his fake girlfriend? Does that mean he's still going to...give me different experiences? Speaking about fake girlfriend, I feel like that also became messy. Not only are we acting like a couple when we're in front of others, but we're also doing it in private. Like cuddling, for example. Or the make-out sessions. Or the hand holding. Or the small, affectionate kisses...
When I exit out of the bathroom, fully dressed, I see Namjoon is still awake. He's under the covers and his eyes turn into crescents when he spots me. My heart does back flips and I want to slap myself. Why is this happening?! I can't ruin this friendship. I don't want to. I just...we need to-
"Chae-rin, come here," he tells me, his arms open again.
Fine, it's our last time. No more after this. I nod and move into his arms as he encircles me. He takes a deep breath in and sighs, almost as if he's relieved to have me in his arms. This is a dangerous game I play. I should draw boundaries, but I just can't seem to get enough. Starting tomorrow, though, I will. Gosh, I'm going to miss this...
"What are you thinking about?" he says, drawing circles on my arms.
"About tomorrow," I say.
"I don't want to go to work tomorrow," he tells me.
"Why? Are you going to be hungover? Did you drink too much with my brother?" I adjust my head so I can see his face.
"No, I'm not even drunk," he snorts. "I was tipsy earlier, but after the shower and water, I'm pretty sober now." He smiles down at me and I feel my heart flutter again.
I swallow and clear my throat. "Go to sleep, Joon."
"Okay," he nods.
He leans in to give me a small kiss and I know I shouldn't, but I do anyway. My lips meet his and I melt into him. They're so soft and full, so caring and tender. He shifts so that he's hovering above me, his arms caging me in between. His soft kisses move from my lips to my chin and then back to my mouth. He lightly tugs my bottom lip and I let his tongue enter my mouth. It's one of those kisses where I know he's not trying to be dominant. He's showing me something else. What that is? I don't know, but I like these kinds of kisses too. My hands reach up to either side of his face and I pull in him even closer to me, his chest pressed against me but he's resting on his elbows so he doesn't crush me. I wrap my legs around his waist as our kiss becomes even more passionate.
He breaks our kiss and moves down to my neck as he leaves butterfly kisses there. My hands move to his hair, lightly running my fingers through it. I love how soft his thick and fluffy hair is. No matter how many times I've convinced him to let me dye his hair, it somehow never falls out. I also can't believe he trusts me enough to let me do that. I would never let him do that to mine. When his lips softly latch onto the side of my neck, my thoughts cease.
I let out a small gasp before he pulls away. "Joon," I say, voice breathy.
He pulls away, his eyes filled with softness. It's not that same kind of lust and hunger that usually is there when we are about to fuck. No, this is different. It's the same look he has when we have these softer, more intimate kisses. He smiles down at me and there's nothing but adoration. There's that warmth settling in my lower stomach and in between my thighs. Fuck... Not again.
"Chae-rin," he murmurs, kissing my lips again.
His hands slide down to my hips, his long fingers leaving a blazing trail wherever he touches. They slide underneath my shirt and trace along my stomach, following along the band of the hem of my sleeping shorts. My hands move from his hair down to his chest as I rake his chest with my fingertips. He shudders in response and I move them lower until I reach his abdomen. Lightly, I play along the ridges of his toned stomach before I move down to his covered bugle. I feel him, slightly hard, before I cup it. He groans into my mouth, his hands tightening against my hip but not too hard.
I pull away from our kiss and look into his eyes. He's already staring back, almost as if he's waiting for something. I slightly rub his groin and he shuts his eyes letting out a breathy sigh. He rolls his hips into my hand, creating the friction he craves. He gulps down before opening his eyes.
"I need you," he murmurs. "I know you-"
"I need you, too," I reply, leaning upward to meet his lips once more.
Our bodies entangle and we become one. It's different, it's gentler, more tender. When we fully are undressed, his eyes roam over my body and rather than his usual cunning smirk, I see a soft smile instead. He gives me small kisses from my forehead, the tip of my nose and lips before leaving a trail of butterfly kisses on my chest. His hands softly massage my breast, rolling my nipping in between his finger. Ever so lightly, he nibbles on my neck. I'm so lost in this feeling that I don't realize one of his hands has slipped down to my bottom and he is caressing the areas which are sore.
"I'm sorry about this," he mumbles, still running his fingers on my butt cheek. "I am so, so sorry."
"It's okay," I breathe. "It was just an intense night." I nibble that hidden spot under his jaw and he groans. I rub myself against his harden length and he lets out another groan. "You seem to be very ready."
"I can say the same about you," he tells me, moving his hand down to my folds. He rubs me, spreading my slick. "Very ready."
I giggle when he tickles my side, jerking away from him, but he tightens his hold on me. "Wait! That's cheating." He smiles at me and kisses me again. His hands move down, and he inserts one long finger inside of me. I moan into his kiss as he begins to slowly thrust in and out. My fingers tighten around his biceps when he adds another digit inside.
He pulls away from our kiss and murmurs, "You're so beautiful."
When he has stretched me enough, he pulls his fingers out and hooks my thigh underneath his strong arms, pulling them up towards my chest. I feel him positioning his head at my entrance. Slowly, he pushes in and I stifle a moan by grabbing the sheets underneath me. His eyes never once leave mine and this intense eye contact is somewhat arousing.
"Shit," he breathes, sliding inch by inch.
My hands move instinctively to wrap around his neck. "Namjoon," I reply in a shaky voice.
He bottoms out in me and I moan, adjusting to his size. My walls clench around him and he grunts feeling it too. Every vein, every throb, I feel inside of me. He leans in and sprinkles kisses against my face before he gently pulls out slightly to thrust back in. I gasp as my fingers softly tug his hair.
"Are you okay? Is this okay?" He asks, still tenderly thrusting into me.
"Yes," I mewl, my eyes closed. His movement is so intimate, I can feel every detail of it. Every time he brushes against that spot in me, every time his hard cock twitches, ever time that vein brushes my clit. "Oh god," I moan, throwing my hand over my mouth.
"Let me hear you," he says. It's not in that dictating voice he usually has when we are having sex. It's more of a request.
I nod and my arms warp around his waist, my hands on his ass as he rocks his hips into me. I roll my hips to meet his every time he snaps back in and I moan as he lets out a grunt. A thin layer of sweat covers each of our bodies as he moves slightly quicker. His thrusts become quicker, harder, but never rougher. They stay so tender and I let out a breathy moan when he hits my spot.
My walls tighten around him and I know I'm close. I think he does too because he begins to kiss me deeper and his tongue traces my lips before moving in again. I squeeze his arms with my fingers and my hips roll again. His hard length strokes that sensitive spot in me over and over and I whine underneath him.
"Joon," I cry in pleasure.
"I know," he murmurs in my ear. "I know."
With two more strokes, I come undone in his arms. I moan, my body shivering as that knot is being snapped. "Oh god!" I release around him, my walls clenching him as he continues to thrust and then I feel him grunting.
His dick twitches in me and he moans, "I'm going to come!" He's about to pull out, but my hands on him hold him in. "Ch-Chae-rin!"
"Come inside," I gasp, still catching my breath.
"Oh f-fuck," he breathes and I feel his thick, warm release inside of me. His dick pulses as he empties himself in me and he rests his head in the crook my neck as we both try to catch our breaths.
His arms wrap around me, holding me close to him as my arms rest around his waist. Our bodies, wet from our own fluids along with perspiration are pressed against one another as we inhale each other's intoxicating scent in. He kisses my shoulder and moves his way up my neck until his lips find mine. Our tongues mesh together before he pulls away, giving me a small, gentle peck.
"Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" He says, staring down at me.
"No, you didn't hurt me. I'm okay," I reply. Actually, I'm feeling excellent. It's different. Tonight was different. I brush my thumb against his cheek and smile at him softly. "Thank you."
"For what?" He rests his head against my chest, his ear pressed against me.
"Just for being so tender," I tell him. I shift under him and feel him still inside of me. "Um, Namjoon?"
"Hm?"
"You're still inside of me," I say.
"Oh, sorry. I just...well, I like being there," he says sheepishly before he pulls himself out. We both groan at the disconnect and I let out a small gasp too. "Are you okay?" He leans over, still checking up on me.
"Yeah, I'm okay," I nod.
He gives me a small kiss on the forehead before he rolls out of bed. Within a few seconds, he comes back with two wash cloths. One that's wet and one that's dry. He cleans me up, gently wiping me off before drying me off. His lips give me a soft kiss on the inner side of my thigh.
"Thank you," I tell him, stifling a yawn.
"You're welcome," he tells me, throwing the cloths into the hamper. He goes to my dresser and pulls out a pair of clean underwear for me and slips them on me before grabbing my shorts for me. "Now, let's go to sleep."
I nod as he pulls me into his arms again. "Good night, Joon."
Tonight, was so different. Granted, we've only had sex a handful of times, I know that what transpired between us was different from the other times. It wasn't rough or dominating. There wasn't any dirty talk, no hard sex, no roughness. It was just soft and tender, almost loving. It doesn't take long for me to doze off into a deep slumber. The last thing I remember is Namjoon pressing his lips against my forehead.
---
I wake up because I feel Namjoon getting out of bed. I slowly open my eyes and it's still dark out. He's quietly walking around the room, gathering his clothes. Where is he going? I glance at the alarm clock on my desk and it's five in the morning. God, it is far too early. He slips on his shirt and then turns to me. Startled to see me awake, his eyes widen slightly.
"Morning," I murmur in my morning voice.
"Hi," he tells me. "You should go back to sleep." He makes his way over to me and sits next to me. "I'm going home so I can get ready for work."
I nod and lean my head against the pillow. "Okay. Have fun at work."
"I'll try," he tells me. "You have a good day just relaxing, okay?"
"I will," I smile.
His fingers lightly caress my cheek and then he returns the soft smile, his dimples showing. "Okay, I got to go."
He leaves, exiting out of my room and I hear the door shut. I feel this weird sensation in me, like he forgot something. I don't know what, though. I sit up in bed, looking around my room to see if he left anything important, but I don't see anything. So, why do I feel like he did? I sigh, lying back down and closing my eyes. I toss and turn, trying to rack my brain to make sure he has everything he needs for today, and I'm sure he does.
Slowly, my mind shuts off and I drift off back to sleep.