It's been quiet.
Still, Hetta has been walking me to classes though I know she's still hurt, which I understand, though she's been talking a little but more, just a little.
Liam still has the same schedule as me from when he was my guard, but seeing our little agreement we refused to look at eachother for Xaden's sake.
And for Xaden....
Our connection feels like an aching wound, it's dull but you can still feel it..barely... though theres still a hurt. That's been driving me insane. Hell, Rhys still hasn't talked to me much since though from what Andarna said, he was doing it more for Segyl.
Also deserve that.
I sit down for lunch, where Ridoc was talking to our whole group loudly. " Did you hear the King Tairi is celebrating unification here... The KING.... KING TARI?"
I couldn't help but chuckle as I slip in to my normal seat by Hetta, kitty corner from Liam. In direct sight of Xaden's.
Where he was eating with his normal leadership, all of them talking.. conversing with one another...besides him. He had his ' face' on where it's terrifying but borderline hot... making my insides turn as he seems to glare Watching the Wingleader from First Wing talk.
He looks..paler...Maybe even a little sickly. If he doesn't feel good why didn't he stay in his room, hand the control over to Garrick for one day, even pawn some things off to Dain... He'd love that.
But... Xaden likes power, at least controlling. He'd be half dead and still doing Wingleader stuff... Malek he looks good today.... To good....even looking like that...
I get the turning feeling again of gnawing guilt looking back down to my plate picking at my mashes potatoes.
" Is that why I saw Navarrian guards? There were like 10... normally for province checks there's only 3." Hetta adds.
" Well duh.. it's the king.... And we're so close to graduation. I saw all their little black uniforms getting shipped here.." Imogen says in her annoyed cocky tone.
Another wave hits me..... Xaden will be graduating in 12 days.
12.
And that leaves the future up in literal smoke.
I slowly chew my food as I look at Imogen, who was sitting right next to Liam.... who I know was glancing at me. I quickly look down not wanting anyone to see lingering glances.
I feel...something...
My eyes snap to Xaden as he now stares annoyed shaking his head at something Garrick is saying.
" Stop looking at me." Xaden grits in my head.
It made me jump, this was the first time in.... almost 2 weeks he's said something to me. Though I keep looking, I see his dark eyes snap to mine as he gives me that deathly glare he's only given to people he's hate.
Making my damn heart hurt.
" I'm so damn serious Freya look away." He seethes again.
" I could feel you...that's why I looked."
" Well stop. Block me. Do something then looking at me." He says quickly, his eyes still on me, his face reddening.
I sigh looking away " You can block too."
" I know."
" Then why aren't you?"
" Because that means you would feel alright and then you'd be happy and go kiss on Liam again. I'd rather let you suffer." He answers quickly his eyes hardening before they roll and he looks away again.
He quickly finishes his food saying something short to Garrick leaving the dining hall.
" I'll be training if anyone needs me." I say quickly feigning a lighter tone as I quickly get up. Everyone looks, they nod, they give me that face saying they know something is up but won't say anything.
Though Hetta gives a empathetic smile, Liam now fully looks at me with a look of pity and annoyance looking where Xaden walked, and Imogen glances at the three of us allknowing to well the situation.
I tighten my hair exhaling, I feel this...chaos just rumbling through me. Not only do I have that and Xaden's feelings... I have my own, not to mention tomorrow marks the sixth year Brennan Died, also the first time my dad had this first heart problem.
So at the moment everything hurts and it all sucks.
Luckily I was the one one in the training rooms. I slump on the wall feeling a tight ache making me grip my chest for a few seconds until it subsided again.
screw this...
I push off the wall and getting in a stance, trying to let all my frustration out on the punching bags, I hit and hit, and even after I hit it felt like no relief, not even when I feel my hands bruising making me just plain angry as I yell throwing my hands, making the bag burst off the chains, sending it flying across the room.
I freeze looking at it forcefully roll, slamming against the wall. " Shit..."
I close my eyes, not even sure why I have the sense to cry, I feel my cheeks heat. " Dammit!" I yell hitting the wall next to me just hoping I wouldn't put my hand through it. All I could do was just slump slowly back to the floor and ride out the wave of emotions I've been feeling.
Feeling weak, having that feeling of no control...
" I wish I was a moment catcher." Her voice held slight amusement as I hear her voice get closer.
I don't even bother looking at her, keeping my eyes closed I only lean my head in her direction. " And why's that Imogen?"
" It's a rare sight to see the Freya Sorregail cry." I hear her come closer, I could feel her presence a foot or so away from me. " Seeing your on close watch... I think it would be smart to have a power fit...outside of the Basgiath doors."
My eyes snap open as I look up at Imogen, " How did you-"
" Xaden...protecting his little princess... if you die he dies.... We're all well aware of your whereabouts Sorrengail."
" Why are you here?" I sigh exasperated.
" Because... Your creating a rift. And the last thing we need at the moment is a rift..."
" So... still..why are you here?"
" You should talk to him." She states.
" I have."
" Mind linking isn't talking, face to face would suffice." She sighs.
I glance at her again, she shows a snide smile " Again, we know quite a bit."
I roll my eyes looking straight ahead semi annoyed that they know, " He won't talk to me."
" Don't give him the option." Imogen states " The hell is he going to do to you? Can't kill you, we all know he wouldn't hurt you."
I stay quiet once more, " He won't forgive me."
Imogen leans on the wall chuckling " Yea, well personally... I wouldn't either. Especially when it was with Liam... of all people... But he..tolerates you and that alone is... alot more then some of us get so.... Grow a pair and get this talked out."
" You suck at being supportive."
She grins, " I'm not trying to. I'm just saying this for the best of our Squad, now stop moping, and figure out what the hell your going to say to him, and get dressed for this Unification BS we all need to attend.
She offers me a hand, which I take.
" I expect something done before the end of tomorrow understood. I'm sick of all this...tension." She instructs.
" I'll try."
" You will." She corrects, " Now go."
I go back to my room, taking a shower letting the warm water run down my body in an attempt to calm me...which did..nothing....
I then brush the wet knots from my hair, deciding what to wear.... I didn't have much but at least I had one dress that was partly decent, though a little revealing.
Though I wasn't to worried.... I can burn a man if I'd really want to.
There was another knock, Hetta peeking in looking me over " You look... HOT!"
She was wearing a simpler tighter dress similar to mine though way less revealing, her hair in a simple twisted updo. " Can I try something on your hair?"
I nod, " Sure I had no idea what the hell to do to it anyways."
She smiles mentioning me to sit while she goes to work, it was like a braided crown on my head, she pulled a few strands out grinning at her work. " It's beautiful...." I say softly not even recognizing myself.
" Thank you. I think we'll be the best looking ones here."
I chuckle " Oh.... for sure."