Larry
Summer in Amsterdam makes me remember the time that Gemma and I spent at the park. Yes, flowers...there are flowers. Lots and lots of flowers for my liking. And there are people kissing, ugh...maybe I need to skip Amsterdam.
I wanted to leave, but I didn't. Instead, I got drunk and drunk-dialed Gemma. I don't know why, but I just can't delete her number. I may be a little too freaked out when the call comes through, I thought she blocked my number by now. But she didn't and I don't know what the fuck I am going to say when she answers my call. So, I tell her that I am sorry and that I love her before I fucking hang up on her like a coward.
Fuck,
Fuck,
Fuck!
"Larry, how long are you going to do this?" Alix asks the second she comes into my living room. Yes, months after she was sent to check up on me we have become friends. One desperate night she confessed that she had been secretly in love with one of her brother's bodyguards who was also his best friend. But since it was frowned upon to have a relationship with the help she cut her ties and now she's as miserable as I am.
"How long are you going to stay away from your man?" I ask her back knowing it'll irritate her. Alix had agreed to move in with me to my family's apartment in Amsterdam. She finally agreed to come stay with me when I pointed out that with her condition, she needed someone in case of an emergency.
"You know I can't answer that. I'm like a whale. I'm pregnant with his baby. If I do get back to him, won't he question my baby?"
"Pfft...a simple paternity test will do the deed." I wave my hand, quickly dismissing her question. I know why she came for me months earlier. I was pissed at her and at my brother who gave her my whereabouts. But she apparently had played my brother, telling him that she was pregnant with my baby. At first, I was upset that Tyler believed Alix's words rather than talk to me first, but then maybe he remembered how I was after Gemma left me. Hell, if I know what was behind Tyler's reasoning, maybe he was trying to get me all pissed off at him that I'd go home to confront him.
Damn him...
Everything has been such a mess since then. The day she arrived and begged me not to tell the truth about her situation, I was seconds from sending her back. But when she broke down and cried, I knew I just couldn't do that to Alix. She really thought that her family might harm her baby daddy if they found out about her affair. She also didn't want them to terminate her pregnancy. I was dumbfounded when she told me that they might actually force her to do so.
And that is why she had been hiding in Amsterdam with me while both of us wallowed in our miserable lives.
It's true what they say, misery loves company.
"I'm just saying you need to stop drinking. It's been two days."
"Alix, darling, it's the weekend. You know I'll be in top shape when Monday comes."
"Meh, I'm just afraid someone will come bursting in and I'll be too worried about your state of intoxication to explain my condition."
"Baby momma, I may be drunk but I'm not that drunk. I'll have you know, that I have a high tolerance for alcohol."
"I know you do, that's why I'm worried about you."
"What do you want me to say,"
"If it's up to me, I'd say you should go back to Gemma and make things right. I still don't know why you'd let her leave."
"Alix, thank you for your confidence in me," I pause to refill my Scotch and take a sip of the fine liquor. "But, she left me..."
"I know! And now you're trotting around Europe licking your wounds."
"I called her last night. I told her I'm sorry and that I love her,"
The shock in her face was obvious and then came the curiousness. "And? What did she say?"
It's cute how she thinks that one call can resolve my problems.
"Oh...I don't know. I hung up."
"What? Larry!" She yells at me while I just shrugs.
"What? I'm not strong enough to hear her rejection. She left me, Alix! She. Left. Me."
Alix gets up and walks towards the spacious kitchen, she raids the freezer before getting two spoons and sits beside me. She gives me a spoon and we share the pint of pistachio ice cream.
"I'm so sorry, Larry. If my dad..."
"Hey now, this is also my family's fault as much as yours. We'll figure this out. Preferably when I'm not drunk and... God, having ice cream in the freezer is the best idea ever."
She giggles and takes another spoonful of the creamy goodness. "It's making me fat, but I don't even care."
"You're pregnant, you'll need that fat when you push the baby out."
"Ugh...don't remind me, I'm having a hard time sleeping already."
There, the sad look in her eyes gives it away. "Tell me about your man and why can't you be with him again?"
"Larry, I told you... Perry and I are forbidden. Why did you think my father sent me your way? Do you think I want to be pregnant and away from my baby daddy? I love him."
"You think your dad knows about you and him? About you being pregnant?"
"God, I hope not. I want him to be safe and don't care if he never..."
Then the waterworks came and I tuck her under my arm and pull her close to my chest. "Shh...you'll be okay. We'll think of something. Maybe I should marry you after all. I really don't want your kid to grow up without his dad. I just need you to know up front that I don't know if I could ever love anyone else besides Gemma."
"Don't, Larry, you're drunk. Stop thinking with your stupid brain. Hold this, I'll get some water. You're done with the Scotch." Alix wipes her tears roughly and wobbly gets up.
I wanted to laugh but smile instead. She gives me a pint of ice cream and walks away with the liquor bottle.
When dinner time arrives, I am lured by the tantalizing aroma of her cooking. "You will be one hell of a wife for Perry. Your cooking alone will get him to come home on time for dinner."
Alix laughs but then her face scrunches and her facial expression tells me that something bad is happening.
"Alix?"
"Larry, it hurts...why does it hurt?" She whimpers and then starts crying. All hell breaks loose when she pulls her maxi dress to her thighs and screams my name as blood trails the inside of her legs.
"Shit...shit...shit! Come on, we need to go."
"Larry, if I...if I don't make it, tell Perry that I love him."
"Shh, you need to stop talking, you'll tell him yourself." I get her things before calling my driver to go to pick us up at the apartment lobby. When we get to the hospital she's barely responding to the emergency doctor. The pain seems to take away her speech as she keeps on screaming from pain while I keep holding on to her.
"Sir, it's family only. You can wait in the waiting room."
"I'm her fiance. I'm all she's got here, all her family is back home." Nothing was stopping me from telling the doctor that I was her fiance. Not when there was an emergency procedure that needed to be done and she was hell-bent on not telling her parents. We talked about this just days ago. She was prepared with the paperwork stating that I am her fiance and have full power to make any emergency decisions. I just didn't think it'll happen this soon. We are preparing for her delivery date, but we haven't thought about it.
Fuck...I need to call Tyler. I am definitely panicking on the inside. I need him. I need someone sane to help me keep myself sane.
"Tyler, brother..."
There, I finally told him everything while I was waiting for Alix. I am suddenly sobering and now pacing in front of the waiting room after the ER doctor had come and explained her condition and the procedure that they needed me to sign off.
"She's going to have a baby. Damn it Tyler, it's too soon but there was a complication with the pregnancy. I need to be there for her."
"Larry, calm down brother. I don't know what, but I know that there's a story here. Look, I'll call the pilot to get the jet ready I'll be there as soon as possible, okay?"
"Yeah...yeah, uh...okay. Thanks, man, I appreciate this. Um, Tyler, can Jessica come with you?"
"Well, she is my excuse if we want to keep this quiet from our parents. Don't you think Dad will notice that I'm going alone to Amsterdam?"
"Good...good, I need her support for Alix. I don't know how to do this. God..."
"Larry, take a breather. I'm going to end the call and go get ready okay? I'll see you soon, brother."
I try to calm down, and I finally do when I am called in, telling me that they're ready for me. Everything goes by like a blur. Alix, my newfound friend in misery, is lying on the delivery table all prepared for the surgical procedure.
I go where the nurse tells me to, and smile when I see Alix's nervous expression. "Hey, everything is going to be okay. You're going to be a great mom." I caress her hair and I keep on telling her so since I am too nervous for anything else that is going on down south.
I kiss the top of her head, thinking about what will Perry do in this situation. The man is missing out on the delivery of his child, he doesn't get to hold Alix's hand as she's fighting for her and their child's life. I too will never know how it felt, with Gemma. The lack of future babies between Gemma and me makes me hold on to Alix tighter. She seems to understand where my mind went just now and she gives me a knowing smile.
Alix is right Gemma did leave but I am the one who's too damn of a coward to go back to her and fight for our love.