A/N: I arrive to give you a single update with a ton of banter, Judith Egan being actual menace #1, and some hurt/comfort!
Judith Egan was a singularly formidable woman of small stature and sharp features. She had married young, a high school sweetheart. He had left her pregnant while he fought in the First World War and then by the time he returned, he was not the same. Eugenia was born first—the pride and joy of Judith's life.
John Clarence Egan had been born second, ever the trouble-maker. By the time that Kathryn was born, Judith was well aware that the child was a bandaid for a broken marriage. Her husband had drank himself half-to-death by the time John was 15—
And she had been left to struggle with her children on her own. But Bucky was a handful and with Kathryn constantly following after him like some sort of duckling, there was no love lost between her younger two children and Judith herself. No, she was furious when Bucky had come to her, expressing his desire to fight in the war. And when her youngest daughter threw away all prospects of marriage to go to college and follow her brother, Judith was beside herself.
Kathryn knew that going back home was going to be some sort of lions' den. Judith was always hard on her children—never Eugenia though. Eugenia was wanted; she was a married woman with five children and had been perfectly respectable (after she was married, of course). Both Kathryn and Bucky knew what their mother was like and what the reunion would likely entail.
Still, waiting for their mother to arrive to pick them up from the airport felt like a whole eternity. It wasn't that Kathryn wasn't glad to see her mother, but things had always been so complicated between them. She was never enough in her mother's eyes and Bucky had been the one to raise her—not her mother. The whole thing felt superfluous.
"Last chance, we could cash in on a favor and stay in a hotel instead," Kathryn hissed, glancing over at Bucky.
"Don't tempt me, Kath. I might actually take you up on it."
"She can't be that bad," Gale offered weakly.
"You say that now," Bucky mumbled, shaking his head. "Give it five minutes."
True to his guess, when the car pulled up at the curb and Kathryn's gaze fell on her mother, she couldn't help the pit of dread that filled her. Judith was the first one out of the car, followed by Eugenia and Eugenia's husband, Bobby. "Oh, Johnny!" Judith exclaimed in a chirpy tone.
If Gale Cleven thought he had seen Bucky Egan embarrassed up to this point, he had been sorely mistaken. Because watching Bucky's tiny mother hug the living daylights out of him and poke at his face and ask if he had been eating enough was a whole experience . Bucky finally wretched himself free of his mother's grasp, a sour and bashful look on his face.
"I'm fine, ma', I promise!" Bucky exclaimed.
Judith then set her sights on Kathryn. "Oh you thin thing—"
"Hi ma—"
But Judith didn't even move to hug Kathryn as her eyes set on Gale, standing there somewhat awkwardly. "Oh, Johnny mentioned he was bringing a friend! Buck, is it?"
"Ma—" Kathryn started.
"It's wonderful to meet you," Judith continued.
"Ma—"
"It's so good that you and my Bucky are friends—"
"Ma!" Kathryn exclaimed pointedly. "Gale and I are engaged."
Judith blinked and Gale spared a glance in Bucky's direction; he seemed like he was trying hard not to laugh or snicker at the sight. And then Judith's eyes had gone wide. "You slept with some pilot and now you're pregnant?! " Judith wailed at Kathryn.
Kathryn's jaw dropped. "Wh—no!"
"It's okay if you are, that's how Bobby and I ended up—" Eugenia hissed in her younger sister's direction.
"No!" Kathryn exclaimed in an emphatic tone. "I'm not— pregnant !"
Judith's gaze swiveled onto Bucky and narrowed. "Johnny Egan—"
"She's not pregnant, ma!" Bucky said, trying to suppress his laughter.
"This is hell, I'm in hell," Kathryn mumbled, glancing over at Gale apologetically. He just shook his head at her and gave her a warm and reassuring smile. It didn't bother him one bit. If he were a parent, he'd probably be just as concerned.
"Your FOREHEAD! You KNOW it's your best feature!" Judith exclaimed in horror.
Kathryn just looked over at Bucky and mouthed, 'hotel.' He silently agreed, giving a tired nod.
The car ride back to the Egan household was filled with talking—from Judith mostly, with the odd opinion that Eugenia chirped in. Gale couldn't help but realize just where Bucky's exuberant personality had come from. He was absolutely his mother's son and Gale would not have guessed that in any capacity. Kathryn, on the other hand, seemed to have been the odd child out in the family. Especially with how she was when she had been on Thorpe Abbot originally. It was hard to get a word in edgewise with this family anyways.
Judith was equally displeased to find that the dog accompanying them wasn't in fact just her children waiting for the owner to get the car. No, DeMarco had gifted Kathryn Egan Meatball the dog as an early wedding present—and she had full intention of taking that dog everywhere with her.
Once they finally reached the Egan household, Judith led them on a grand tour of the house, with Bucky mouthing half of the commentary that Judith was saying—clearly she'd done this whole routine before.
For Kathryn Egan, it felt strange . Here she was, back in her childhood home where she had grown up. But at the same time, she hadn't been grown up at all when she had left home. She had left home at the age of 18, gone off to college and upset her mother. She hadn't really stepped foot in the house since she was 18 anyways. Her home for the past few years had been dorm rooms, then shared nurses quarters, and then a Prisoner of War Camp, and then the men's bunks at Thorpe Abbot.
Home wasn't home to her. This was just the place that she had grown up in. Still, finding her childhood room the way that she had left it nearly left her breathless. She had been such a child back then—magazines and lipsticks were still scattered on her vanity where she had left them. All of her dresses and clothes lined the closet with a thin line of dust—and the light blush shade of the room allowed the sun to brush over the room like a warm embrace.
The person that had lived here felt like a whole lifetime ago. "Pink, huh?" Gale's voice sounded in the doorway and she turned, finding him standing there with a fond smile.
"I happened to like pink a lot when we painted this room. I was seven," Kathryn said defensively. "I see you escaped my mother."
"For the moment, yes. She's..."
"A lot?" Kathryn offered with a slight grin.
"Trying to figure out where Meatball is going to sleep tonight at the moment, actually," Gale replied.
"Even when you're annoyed with my mother, you're still nice," Kathryn murmured. "I don't know how you do it."
He didn't even get a chance to respond. "Katie Egan, if that boy is in your room, you're going to be in so much trouble!" Eugenia's voice carried through the hallway to the upstairs.
Kathryn just let out a deep sigh. "Well this is going to be fun."
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If she thought that dinner was bad and having to answer incessant questions from her mother and sister was the worst that the night was going to get, she was sadly mistaken. You see, Bucky knew enough to know that his sister sleeping on her own was not going to go over well—and not just because she had night terrors and the one night that she had slept in the nurses quarters back at Thorpe Abbot, she had nearly made Poppy have a nervous breakdown from the nightmares. No, he knew that if the Egan household was going to be peaceful, he needed to find a way to sneak his best friend into his sister's room.
Considering the fact that Gale was spending the night in his room—he merely pointed out the fact that Kathryn's room had a tree in front of it. It was, in fact, the same tree that she had used to sneak out and go and see him and his friends all of the time when they were younger.
Gale had just made his way outside and was about to start climbing the tree when he had been caught by Eugenia and Bobby, both of whom just gave him stern looks and tattled to Judith Egan about the entire thing. So after a stern talking to about the kind of mischief that they could possibly get up to in the Egan household, everyone ended up in their own rooms and Judith seemed rather pleased by that.
There would be no intermingling before the marriage—not in Judith's good household.
For Kathryn though, night brought its own set of challenges. It was strange enough being back in her own room and wearing an old set of silk pajamas from when she was younger. But trying to fall asleep in an actual bed? It was too soft—too warm—too empty .
She wasn't sure if it was because she was in an unfamiliar place—or it was the lack of Gale's presence—but Kathryn felt unsafe . And when her dreams came for her, they did not show mercy.
His hands were on her throat, squeezing as if she were nothing more than a marionnet or a doll. The pain between her legs shot upwards and she couldn't even let out a scream before he was slamming his hand into her face. She collided with the dirt and then something was sizzling against her skin between her thighs—
Violation and horror—
He was ripping her skirt and the weight of his body was absolutely crushing her. He was the tank rolling over the land and uncaring for what happened to it—uncaring about what scars he would leave. He was biting at her and the sobs couldn't even tear from her throat and then she was trying to fight against him and the scalpel was in her hand and—
The horrible bloodcurdling screams that had filled the house had left those in the Egan household in horror—because surely someone had broken in and was murdering Kathryn Egan—
But for John Egan and Gale Cleven, they knew .
They snapped awake, locking eyes for half a second before rushing towards Kathryn's room. There was a stir throughout the house but then Bucky was shutting the door and standing guard, arms crossed over his chest.
The minute that Gale Cleven's gaze landed on Kathryn Egan, he knew she was caught in a memory. She was still crying in her sleep, shaking from head to toe—and he caught at her wrists so she wouldn't hurt herself. The motion seemed to make her panic more but then he was murmuring sweet nothings in her ears and all of the screaming and the crying, it just stopped.
Kathryn froze—moonlight illuminating the scene in front of her. Gale, just holding her as if she were the only thing in the world—but the images that still invaded her mind were there. And Kathryn couldn't help it. She let out a choked sob and collapsed against him, exhaustion and mental distress just completely overtaking her.
"You're alright...you're not there, honey," Gale's voice was the resounding and grounding call that she was not in Germany. She was in her own childhood room—she was somewhere safe and he was here with her.
"Please don't leave me," Kathryn's voice cracked and his grip on her shifted—and it wasn't until she was securely in his arms and he was in her bed that she stopped shaking. The sound of his heartbeat was the pattern that reminded her that she was here. That this was real. That what happened was not her reality right now.
She could hear her mother arguing with Bucky outside the door right now—but she was too exhausted to care. Too exhausted to care about her mother's delicate sensibilities at the moment. Kathryn clung to Gale Cleven like he was some sort of life-preserver in a storm, like he was the lighthouse and she was the one lost at sea.
His thumb brushed over her cheek and she realized that her breathing had finally calmed down. That the tears that stained her cheeks had dried. His hand trailed down to her jaw and delicately lifted her head to look at him. "Are you feelin' any better?"
Kathryn nearly shuddered at his touch, but she gave a nod. "He wouldn't get off of me. I felt like—like—like I was being crushed."
The sadness in Gale's eyes did not dissipate. "He's gonna get what's coming to him."
"Can you do something for me?"
"Course I can. What is it?"
Kathryn shifted to fully look up at Gale Cleven. "I want to forget him. And I know I'm—fractured, and—and frustrating—but I need you to help me forget about what happened. Even if it takes time."
He pressed his forehead against hers gently. "I can do that."
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Womanly hysteria—a poor excuse to get that boy in your bed. Nurses didn't see the kind of things that men saw on the front, Kathryn. You need to get ahold of yourself.
Her mother's words rang through her head like she was caught in some sort of belltower. These were the words over the next few days that had Kathryn withdrawn and quieter than she had been in a long time. Because in some degree, Kathryn did feel pathetically helpless . And she hated it. Her mother expected more from her and she couldn't help but want to scream at her mother.
Because she had seen and experienced things that the men on the front had not. She had been through something that no one else in that household had been through. And there was no sympathy to be had from her mother and no way for Kathryn to just say what had happened to her. She couldn't tell her that. She couldn't tell Eugenia that.
That first week in that house was awful . But it all came down to a boiling point when her mother and Eugenia insisted on taking her wedding dress shopping. She should've known that this was all going to go to hell the minute that she went shopping—it was just fate at this point.
Bucky had insisted on getting Gale's suit—so they were just across the street at the moment. But Kathryn honestly should have just put her foot down about having Poppy come into town with Laura, Annika, Barbara, and Becky—because they would surely do a much better job at helping Kathryn with such matters than her own removed mother.
She had tried on the first dress for her mother, only to find that her mother immediately didn't like the silhouette. Kathryn honestly didn't care for the whole thing—she could have been married in pants to Gale Cleven and it would still be perfect.
But then as she was changing, her mother had burst in on her—dress halfway down to her hips—chattering away about something to do with wedding veils. And Kathryn had frozen at the sight of her mother in the doorway of the dressing room, eyes wide. And Judith Egan just stared at the ruined body of her daughter with a horrified expression.
"Oh good God—Kitty—what have you done —" And Judith was grabbing at Kathryn's shoulders and Kathryn couldn't even form a sentence.
Because bared and in her underclothes to her mother, her mother could see a lot. She could see the cigarette burns all over her collarbone and chest—trailing right down to where the dress was hanging off her hips. "I—" Kathryn started, finding it difficult to speak.
And then her mother was tearing the rest of the dress down and nearly sobbing at the sight of her thighs and knees. "What have they done to you?"
All at once, Kathryn hardened as a stone and shoved away from her mother, grabbing at her shirt and pants. "Leave it, mama."
"No—we can—we can fix this—we just need to find distracting brassiere enough that he won't notice—no man will want to look at that—"
Kathryn felt a burst of fury rise up in her chest at the thought—and then shame and embarrassment and a whole plethora of emotions. Because true—she had told Gale about the scars. But him seeing them? That was a whole different story. She wouldn't lie to herself, she was extremely self-conscious about the scars that marred her body. That marked her as someone else's—a devil's—property.
She wanted to turn and throw up.
She didn't. She pulled her clothes on and despite her mother's incessant insensitive chatter, Kathryn just walked out of the damn store. She could scarcely breathe from anger—and so she marched her way down the street to the store where they sold suits. And when she found her brother sitting there, casually flipping through magazines—he was more than surprised to see her.
"We're switching," she announced in a deadpan.
"You're gonna wear a suit to your own wedding?"
"No, you dumbass. You're going wedding dress shopping with me."
"Kath—"
"Either you come or I'm going to miss my own wedding because I'll be behind bars for murdering our mother."
Bucky didn't argue after that—he gave a hurried half-excuse to Gale, who was changing—and then followed his sister down the street. The last time he had seen her in such a mood was when she was 16 and going to her first dance. Judith had made a comment about her lack of figure at the time and Kathryn had been livid .
He felt so out of place, standing in a wedding dress shop and waiting for his sister to exit a dressing room. And the thing is—Kathryn Egan looked beautiful as she exited the dressing room, a flowing white gown—but she had a distinct sour expression on her face.
"Kath—" Bucky started in a gentle tone.
"I think it's too long—"
"Kath—"
"What?" Kathryn snapped.
"Is this...like prom? When I took you shopping?" He questioned. "Because ma' said something she shouldn't have?"
All at once, Kathryn seemed to deflate and all anger and annoyance flowed out of her. She just sat down on the ground in that wedding dress, a deep sigh. "It's a lot of things, Bucky."
Bucky moved to sit next to his sister, awkwardly placing a comforting arm around her. "Hey, just talk to me."
"Fine, but don't be weird about it."
"When am I not?"
She just gave him a look. "It's the— womanly hysteria that I'm apparently making up—because I didn't go through anything hard and I'm just a nurse, so I didn't do shit ."
"She said that?"
"Yes."
"Well that's bullshit."
"I know," Kathryn let out a deep huff of air. "And then when we were in there...you know, I can't even be mad about it, because she's right—"
"Right about what?"
"Well the burns—"
"Burns?" Bucky removed his arm from around his sister and looked at her so intensely and furiously that she thought he might punch something.
Kathryn deflated again. "Hausmann used his cigarette to burn me—but in—in intimate places. And ma'—she said that no man would want to see that and she's not wrong. It's disgusting and I hate it too—"
And then Kathryn was being hugged like the world was ending and Kathryn knew right then and there—her brother was the only family member she had ever needed and ever would need. He had stepped up and raised her when her mother hadn't paid her attention, except to nitpick and pick on. He had been her person since day one and he loved her. Flaws and all.
"You know," Bucky mumbled into her hair. "You're the best woman in the world—and I've always thought that. And I don't say it because it gets weird, but you're pretty. And Gale—he's not gonna care about that shit. And if he does, I'll beat his ass."
Kathryn sniffled and pulled away from her brother's hug. "You mean that?"
"Like the state of the union, honey."
She gave a half-smile. "Walk me down the aisle?"
"Obviously."
"Alright, I'll stop being mushy," Kathryn mumbled, letting out a breath. "Now help me find a wedding dress?"
"I'm so ready for this."