----------------- I noticed that this chapter was really needed, as some things weren't explained well. So I'm going a little out of my schedule to post an extra chapter. :) -----------------
Killian was probably the smartest child in his class, but he tended to isolate himself. If it wasn't for Collin, he would spend all his time alone, as he had a hard time making friends. Collin, on the other side, was a ball of sunshine that radiated friendship and became friends easily with all the kids. Right now, Killian was sitting in a yellow chair looking at his book about space while Collin talked to the other kids.
"So now I have two dads and one mommy". He said proudly. Killian still wasn't happy with the situation. He didn't like change, and he was scared of what he would lose if things changed.
"Two dads?", Amaya, a girl wearing ponytails, asked.
"I have daddy Cy and dad Cael. Dad Cael didn't know about us. But he always loved us". Collin said in the most dramatic way he could.
After the day they learned to ride their bikes, Cyrus and Antoine sat with them and tried to explain the situation the best they could. They said that Cael wasn't far from them because he wanted to, that if he knew about them he would have come to look for them. They insisted on it for a long time. Then, that man came looking for them and told them the same thing. Collin welcomed him with open arms and said that he could be their dad from that day onwards. But Killian hated it. For him it didn't matter if he was his father or not, if he didn't come because he didn't know or for any other reason. In his eyes, all that situation just brought a sense of insecurity. Someone new in their lives that he couldn't say no to. Someone who came with lots of change attached. Why are you here? he asked himself when he looked at the man. Why do I have to look like this? He asked when he looked at himself in the mirror. Why couldn't he look like mommy, just like Collin did? Or have red hair like Cyrus? Or not look like any of them, and especially not like that man. Couldn't he just be happy being him?
One day, Antoine caught him crying in front of the mirror. He wouldn't stop crying no matter what he did, and he would keep trying to pull off his own hair.
"I want to have yellow hair", he cried. "Like mommy and Collin".
"Why, baby?"
"I don't want to look like him".
Antoine hugged him and mollified him, until he stopped crying and fell asleep. When he woke up, Cyrus came to get him and took him to their room, where Antoine was looking through the albums. Photos of him and Collin when they were really young.
"Come sit here". Antoine called.
He jumped on bed and sat beside Antoine looking at the pictures.
"You probably won't remember, but you loved this pink frog. You would take it everywhere and even had a matching blanket. I couldn't make you let go of it even when I took you to shower. But one day, you let it fall on the park and lost it. We searched for hours but couldn't find it. You cried for days", he said pointing to a photo. He pointed to another on the next page. "And this... This was the day I took you to get your flu shot. You were the first kid not to cry when taking a shot. But your brother cried liters. I didn't even know he could cry that much". He pointed to another picture. "This is from your first birthday. Grandpa and Grandma came from Illaney to visit us, and brought so many gifts. Including that giant dino that you still have in your bedroom. We guess your passion for dinosaurs came from it".
"I was so small".
"Yeah. You were really small. I remember when you were even smaller. You were really small when you were born. And all wrinkly. But I already loved you when I saw you. I've loved you since you were the size of a pea".
"I was the size of a pea?"
"You were". He laughed. "And as your mommy, I have loved you since then. And I kept loving you, and making these wonderful memories with you. Seeing you grow, and change. Seeing you become so many things". He touched Killian's cheek. "But he didn't get that chance. To love you from the moment you were a pea. To watch you grow and take your first steps. Because I took it from him".
Killian tried to look away. He didn't want to talk about that man.
"Baby, I know you don't like that you look like him, but you're wonderful. You're loved and cherished. And I know he cherishes you too. Don't blame him for not being here all these years, because that blame is mine. I'm the one who hid you from him. I'm the one who took his chance. If you're angry at someone, be angry at me. Mommy is the one who did the things wrong. Mommy is the one who hurt you".
"Mommy didn't hurt me".
"I did. I hurt you by robbing you of the chance of knowing your father. Of being loved by him. I know you love mommy a lot, but mommy is an adult and needs to take responsibility for the wrongs he makes".
Killian hugged him.
"Mommy didn't do anything wrong. That man is the one who is bad. He wants to change things. He wants to break up our family". He cried. Antoine pushed him a little away to look at his eyes.
"Cael is not a bad person. I learned it", he laughed to himself. "And nothing will change unless you want it to. Our family will stay strong and together. If you don't want to see him anymore, I will respect your decision. It will only make you feel worse if I force you when you don't want it. But, for mommy, can you at least try? Give him a chance. Let him make memories with you. Like you did riding that bike. Just those little things are enough. Please".
"If I go with him, will mommy be happy?"
"Yes. Because my son is being really strong".
"And our family won't break up?"
"No"
"And daddy Cy won't leave?"
"Why did you thought I'll leave?", Cyrus, who was watching everything, asked.
"Because people think it is strange that I have two dads. So one should go away".
"No one has to go away. I'll still be your daddy even if you have a hundred dads. Because I chose to be your dad and to stay by your side, baby. So I'll be your daddy now and forever".
"Promise?", Killian asked, extending his finger.
"I promise". Cyrus extended his finger too and united it with Killian's.
"Ok. Then I will give him a chance. But I won't like him". He pouted.
"Alright", Antoine laughed at his pouting. "Now call your brother to see the photos, since I already took the albums out".
"Collin", he shouted.
"Not from here, go get him in his room".
"Ah", he said and jumped out of bed to call his brother. Still, in the middle of the way, they could hear the boy shouting Collin.
***
Uncle Nate came to get them in the morning to go to the park. Cyrus had a shooting and Antoine had a meeting, and the daily care didn't work on Saturdays. Killian knew that he would have to see the man again. He promised mommy he would give the man a chance, although he didn't really want it.
When they got to the park, there he was. The grown up version of him. Collin went running straight to him and jumped in his arms, but Killian just stayed beside Nate. Cael kneeled next to him and extended a hand to high-five him.
"Hello, Killian". The man said and looked at him expecting he would hit his hand. He was almost about to give up, when Killian high-fived him. Cael smiled. Killian didn't know, but Antoine told Cael about their talk and asked him to be patient. The boy was really resistant to other people, and it was difficult to break his walls. "Do you want to go to the lake to feed the ducks?"
"Ok". He answered, not looking directly at Cael.
"Do you want me to carry you?", he said, opening his arms.
"No, uncle Nate will carry me". He opened his arms to Nate who grabbed him. Nate mouthed to Cael a simple sorry and went in the direction of the lake. Cael grabbed Collin and went in the same direction.
They all sat near the lake with some crumbs that they eventually tossed to the ducks. Collin was really excited, tossing a crumb after the other, while Killian carefully chose the duck to feed. When Killian was relaxed and distracted, Cael used his special weapon.
"My friend, Ewin, is a director in the Yggidra Museum".
"The one with that new exhibition about dinosaurs? That has that Triceratops skeleton?"
"That one. He said he could give me four tickets for the exhibition. But I don't know anyone who is interested in dinosaurs to go with me".
"I like dinosaurs. But that still leaves two tickets. I can ask some colleagues from work".
"I like dinos". Killian mumbled.
"Sorry, I didn't listen", Cael teased.
"I like dinos", Killian almost shouted.
"Oh... You like dinos. That's really cool". Cael smiled, mischievously. "I like dinos too. I was telling Nate that I have four tickets to a dinosaur exhibition. Would you like to go?"
Killian stayed in silence for a while, pondering. He didn't like him, but he had dinos. And he liked the dinos. But the man was bad. But mommy said the man was not bad. Bad men don't have dinos. Then maybe the man was not bad.
"Yes", he finally answered.