PART ONE
Zara
The knock on the door made me open my eyes. Maybe I was hoping that there was a knock on the door and my subconscious was playing a joke on me. I sit up and try to listen out again. This time, the knock turned into banging and I scramble out of my bed before my neighbours call the cops on my stupid boyfriend.
I walk over to the door and open it up to find Kain at the door.
"What the fuck?" I say. "Its 1am and I have neighbours you asshole."
"So you gonna let me in or what?" He asks me. He stands up straight shoving his hands in the pockets of the grey sweatpants hd wore as his eyes pierced through me. Instant regret flooded through me for even hoping he would turn up at my door tonight. I wanted to slam the door shut in his face for so many reasons yet so many stopped me.
I step aside and let him in before he causes more problems for me and the whole building.
"What do you want Kain?"
"You." He says as he looks at me. His eyes softened as he just looked at me.
"I am tired. I have to go to work tomorrow, I can't deal with this right now."
"Why dont you just hear me out, I apologize. I fucked up I know that." He says as he walks closer to me pulling me in. His hand in my neck, he makes me look up to his face. It was sad, but the asshole infront of me was also probably all I had.. for the last 2 years... my life revolved around him. He gave me oxygen then turned off the ventilator leaving me for dead just come back and resuscitate me with his sweet words.
"I am tired..." I tell him as his thumb brushes past my lower lip.
"Lets go to bed." He says as he takes my hand and takes me to my own bedroom. I couldnt fight it right now. I get into bed and watch him kick off his shoes and take off his shirt revealing the tattoos on his chest that were mostly dedicated to me.
He climbs into my bed and pulls me in close. His fingers run up the tshirt I was wearing that he had left behind before. I wasnt wearing anything underneath. My breath hiccuped as his fingers pushed my thighs apart and drawed circled in my inner thigh. His eyes watching me closely as he now pressed kisses against my cheek to the corner of my lips. He smelt like soap and his favourite perfume. I could still smell the faint cigarette smell on him.
I turn my face to him and let him kiss me. I wish these moments defined our relationship. Just soley these experiences but they didnt. The highs were highs and the lows were so goddamn low, it was the pits of hell. We survived on tbe highs and ignored the lows when we fought out of them and got out damaged and broken.
We had sex for the most part of the night. It was I am sorry sex, I missed you sex and codependency sex.
My alarm rang and I saw it was 7am in the morning. I could cry that is how tired I was...
Kain moves around hearing my alarm and as I try to get out, he pulls me back in.
"Noooo don't go..." He mumbles.
"I kind of have to..." I tell him. He just groans out, eyes still closed, his big arms wrapped around me.
"You hate it anyway..." He says.
Kain and I met the summer after high school. He was allergic it seemed to behaving. Always got into trouble and he still does. He comes from a preppy private school and a preppy life. His great great great grandparents owned most of the middle eastern world and the oil business. It was complicated but Kain sat on so much wealth it was almost ridiculous. It was ridiculous actually.
Kain was scouted quite young as a model and ever since has been in high demand. He didnt treat it much like a job, almost a side hobby. His main priority was having a good time and blowing through the billions he has access to.
"Tell them youre sick and then I will take you out for breakfast." He says as he has now opened his eyes looking at me. "Ill take you to your favourite spot, where they make that hot chocolate you love." He smiles.
"I do love that hot chocolate." I say tempted. My body was exhausted from last night and the long day I had yesterday working at the restaurant.
"And then I'll take you shopping. Gucci, Chanel. Whatever you want Hamilton."
"So now you decide to be a good boyfriend?" I ask him. He just smiles and pulls me in closer kissing my lips. "I thought you forgave me."
"I didnt forgive you." I say. "Maybe after a Chanel bag?"
"How about two is that a definite yes?" He asks and I pretend for a moment that I am thinking about it. He pulls me in again kissing me. "Tell your job to get lost." He says "and lets sleep some more."
I text my boss to cancel my day and that I am not feeling well. I know its stupid blowing off work for my boyfriend who liked to hurt me and see me upset.
I fall back asleep in the arms of Kain and as promised, he takes me out for brunch and shopping. We came back to his place where we often were. He lived in the biggest penthouse in New York City and it was much nicer than my apartment even though Kain would never say that outloud.
As Kain carried my shopping bags into the penthouse, calling me a brat, I see his mother standing in the living room. I stopped walking making Kain bump into me.
"Hello."
"You are supposed to use the code for emergencies." Kain says to his mother. Kain's mother was... I tried to say nice but she wasn't all that nice. She didn't approve of me in the slightest and even though she didn't say it, she was saying it. We could not have come from more opposite backgrounds. She was a beautiful woman, funny enough a model when she met Kain's father then stopped to have kids. She stood here in a pretty white dress with pink flowers from the latest collection, showing her long tanned beautiful legs in high heels. She was a tall woman, maybe 5ft8. Ive seen her without heels and she was a few inches taller than me.
"Hello would be nice." She says as Kain puts the bags down. He kissed his mother on the cheek. "Hello mother."
"You missed the board meeting. Again." She tells Kain. She then looks at me and smiles. "Hi Zara."
"Hi Mrs Kattan." I smile politely.
"What is the point of you being on the board if youre not going to attend?" She asks Kain.
"Exactly. Take me off then?" He says shrugging.
"Your grandfather and father will have a stroke." She says shaking her head. "Next one is in 6 weeks time. Ill personally come to see it that youre present."
"Okay mom." Kain says. She says something in arabic to him before she kisses his cheek again. He just rolled his eyes. "Bye Zara." She says as she passed me by.
I followed Kain into kitchen as he opened the fridge and got a bottle of water out for me and himself.
"Did she ruin the mood?" I ask and he chuckles looking at me as he drank his water. He wasnt the most talkative guy on earth. Especially when it came to his feelings.
"Im so changing the code." He says. I scroll through my phone as we sit down on the couch. Kain sat down next to me pulling my feet on to his lap as he takes my heels off, as if he knew my feet were tired from all that walking around we did.
"You going out tonight?" I asked him feeling anxious about the question. We played dumb all day and it was time to face the music.
"No." He says. "Just for dinner. Rosie, Julian, Roman and Kai. Its Benson's. You love that place."
"So no club or parties after.." I say. "No." He says looking at me.
"I said Im sorry okay?" He says. "I just don't understand you sometimes." I tell him. "Why be in a relationship when you want to be around other girls?" Kai was photographed a few days ago in the club whilst he was drunk and partying with his friends. The table surrounded by girls and he had his hands on her waist. He told me he was at home, so you can imagine stupid me seeing his face all over blogs on the internet.
"I wasn't really thinking straight." He says. "Sorry if I hurt you." He says and I just look at his green eyes looking at me. He pulls me completely into his lap and kisses my lips.
"Its you and always you." He says kissing me again. His lips now glued to mine, his tongue slips into me as the kiss gets heavier and heavier.
I hear the front door of the penthouse opening and break the kiss hearing Julian whistle. "Wow. Get a room." He jokes as I look at him.
"I did. This room? The whole place." Kain says and Julian laughs sitting down on the sofa. He was Kain's best friend. I liked to think of him as the sensible one out of the two. Julian's younger brother was Kai, who is a year younger. He was best friends with Kain's younger brother Roman who was the most sensible one out of all. Julian dated Rosie since diapers apparently. All 5 of them went to the same private schools and their parents were friends and same social circles of wealth.
"I see the apology tour has commenced." Julian says as he plopped down. Kain just rolled his eyes. "Whats new?"
"I missed work. He missed a board meeting apparently." I say as I get off of Kain and sit next to him instead. He pulls me in close putting his arm around me.
"Im shocked they havent taken you off, you been wasting their time since you turned 18." Julian laughs.
"Shut up, what have you been doing since you have been 18?" Kain asks him. Julian and Kai's parents were attorneys. They were both highly respected lawyers who worked on the most high profile cases.
"College?" Julian says pulling a face. "And bailing you out of nonsense but now Zara is here to share the job." He says as he grins at me.
Ive kind of been shoved into Kain's life and I wasnt sure how or when but as soon as I met him, I was in his world, part of his friendship group.
I hear the ding from the front door which signals someone put the code in and was walking into the penthouse.
Kai and Roman walk into the living room. "Waheeey." Roman says looking at me looking genuinely happy to see me. Funny enough, I was brief friends with Roman for years before I met his brother. One day, I bumped into him at the club whilst he was with the rest and he introduced me to Kain.
"Thought my brother royally screwed up this time." He says. His brother's done worse to me, so I wasnt sure why they were all surprised to see me.
"Shut up Ro." Kain says as he looks at him. He just rolled his eyes and sat down on the sofa.
"Hey guys." I say ignoring Kain.
"I am starving." Kai says. He was always in his own world as he looked at his phone.
"What did you do today?" Julian asks his brother. They were only a year apart but looked like freaking twins. Same face, height, body. Their hairstyles made them different. Julian had a nose piercing in just like Kain.
"Went to class?" He says. "I actually did go to my 9am class and I stayed the whole way through."
"Congratulations are in order." Kain says laughing at him.
"What did you do pretty boy?" Kai asks as he looks at Kain with a smirk.
"I actually had a great day with my girl." Kain says and I chuckle at their child-ishness. "That is an achievement for sure." He says rolling his eyes.
"Where is Rosie. Im starving." Roman says to Julian.
"Shes coming up." He says looking at his phone. I scroll through my phone as they continue joking around. A message pops up from my older brother making me sit up. I call him straight away getting up walking into the kitchen. My stomach flipped a few times as I waited for him to answer.
"Baby sister." He says. His voice brought tears to my eyes. I havent heard from him in so long.
"Zade." I breathe out. "Are you out?"
"Im out." He says.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I wanted to surprise you." He chuckles. "I am out though. First person I called, well second Veronica picked me up."
"When are you coming to New York?"
"Tomorrow." He says. "Ill call you when I get there. You good though?"
"Im good." I say. "Were driving up tonight so should be there in the morning."
"Where you staying?"
"With Veronica." He says. "Okay call me." I tell him. I sit down and feel like I can finally breathe for the first time in years. Then, it stops again. What if he gets into more trouble whilst he was out. My brother Zade and I were put in foster care. He was 4 years older than me. When I was 4, I was taken from my parents who were active drug users and then passed around the system. No idea where my parents are today. When Zade turned 18, he pulled me out. 2 years ago, his stupid friends and him decided to commit robbery and were caught so I lost him again like I did when they separated us in foster care.
"You good?" Kain asks walking into the kitchen. I look at him and nod.
"Zade's been released from prison." I say. He raised his eyebrows. "Thought he was in for longer?"
"Yeah.. I am not sure. He didn't explain properly..." I say. Kain's never met Zade. Ive had barely any contact with him over the years.
"When is he home?"
"Tomorrow he said. His girlfriend went to get him."
"Thats a good thing right?" He says and I nod. "I just have this bad feeling." I say trying to shake it off.
"Don't worry, it will be fine." He says pulling me. "He's the only family I have..." I say as I push my face into his chest. "Im Your family too." Kain says as he looks at me tilting my chin. "Always will be."
I press my lips on his pulling him down to my level. "Lets get dinner." He says taking my hand.
Rosie had appeared and was laying on the sofa.
"Whats wrong with you?" I ask her.
"I had a long day." She says as she just stared at the ceiling.
"She was fired." Kai says as Roman starts laughing with him.
"Thats not good." I say as I try not to laugh with Kai and Roman. She worked for some fashion magazine.
"I was only late a few times? I just didn't understand why they want everybody in so early." She says. "And they also wanted me to drink coffee from a vending machine? What is that about?" She says sitting up. Rosie was a beautiful girl, long thick blonde hair. She huffed to move it out of her face. Her piercing blue eyes matched perfectly today to the blue dress she wore.
"Youre such a brat." I chuckle as I sit down and put my heels back on. I loved Rosie. Probably my favourite here. She was fun, quirky and silly.
"I love those heels." She says snapping out of complain mode. They were YSL heels Kain bought me as a sorry gift a few weeks back.
"Kain's got good taste." I say as I look at him. He was leaning against the wall watching me with s smirk.
"Well, I agree he does. Nice fit Kain." Rosie says. He was wearing cargo pants and a matching jacket with a white Tshirt underneath.
"You could have put more effort into your fits." She says looking at Roman and Kai. They both wore simple white Tshirt and dark jeans.
Rosie always made me so conscious about what I wore when I first met her. Her obsession with fashion was ridiculous.
"Okay fashion police can we go and eat finally?" Roman says getting up.
"Fine with me." She says. I grab my purse and head out with the rest. Kain gets in Julian's car and opens the door for me. Rosie and I sit in the back as we head over to Benson's.
"Where is this dress from?" Rosie says to me.
"Fashionnova." I tell her. It was a black body con dress that was off the shoulders and had long sleeves.
"I am always unsure if its the dress or just your body that makes the dress." She says to me making me laugh.
Julian and Kain were in conversation about the car. Julian had a new car it seemed. It was a Mercedes.
"I like the new car." Rosie says. "It matches mine."
"So youre saying I copied you?" Julian asks.
"Yes." Rosie says smiling. "I had the C class last year?"
"Sorry I didnt know you had copyrights." Julian says making me laugh.
"You guys are so ridiculous." I say. "Mine is customized. Yours is not."
"Has it got my initials customized in it?" She asks. "Rosie Henry is tattood on me. What else do you want from me Rose?"
"Thats true." She says as she sits back looking at her nails.
"She wants you to put her name on everything." Kain says laughing. "Oh my God remember that shirt I bought you with my face on it?"
"Yeah doesn't really count, that was merch by that Youtuber who you modelled for." Julian says. Rosie was a massive online personality. She made youtube videos, tiktok, Instagrammed everything. She was the it girl of social media.
We arrived at the restaurant just after Roman and Kai who were being seated. As a group or individually they attracted a lot of attention.
They acted oblivious to it funny enough. Ive seen Kain knock someones phone out of their hand once as they were recording or taking pictures.
"If I hear someone is hungry one more time." Rosie says sitting down at the table. "You're grown men surely you can managr your eating habits."
"Okay thanks mom." Roman says rolling her eyes.
"When is your game?" Kain asks Kai and Roman.
"Tomorrow night." Kai says. "You guys coming?"
"Yeah sure." Kain says looking at me. He pulled my chair closer and rested his hand on my thigh. He could see my brain wasnt fully here. "You in?"
"Not sure, my brother being back tomorrow. I cant ditch work again." I tell him.
"Wait your brother is back?" Roman asks me and I nod. "Yeah he was released today." I tell him.
"Thats great Zara." He says. Sometimes it was difficult to fit in with the group given my background but they never made me feel any type of way. They have had their fair share of being in trouble with the law.
"I love that for you." Rosie says as she smiled at me. "Shall we throw him a welcome home party?" She says making me laugh.
"You know were a bunch of strangers to him right?" Julian says to her and she rolled her eyes.
"How is Kain gonna survive having to share Zara's time now is the real question." Kai says making the rest laugh.
"Are we really that unhealthy couple?" I ask and Kain looks at me smirking.
"Tell them to shut up." I tell him as he laughs pressing a kiss on my lips. We order our food and have a good time. They argued, debated random topics, planned vacations and birthdays.
"I hate it." Kain says to me as I tried to get him to eat shrimp. "Youre such a baby!" I tell him as he laughs holding my hands to stop me.
"No way." He says. "Okay fine." I say letting go. I watch Roman and Kai exchange looks with Rosie.
"Zara, come bathroom with me please?" She says getting up.
"We just been?" I say. "I know but I am going to vomit." She says panicked. She didn't look ill?
"Ew. Julian might be better help." I say. "Hell no... I vomit when I see others vomitting. Even the thought... whats wrong with you anyway?" He asks Rosie who gives him a look. Kain clears his throat.
"Hey guys." A girl says approaching. Looked familiar. She looks at Kain specifically and then me giving me a distasteful look for a split second. It then hit me like a brick, wide awake and alert although injured I looked at her. It was the girl in the picture he was holding on to.
"Hey..." Roman says. Rosie sits back down sighing.
"Kain, looks like you just remembered you have a girlfriend." She says and Kain just remains quiet, his leg bouncing.
"What made you think he forgot?" I ask her.
"Well he woke up in my bed?" She says and I look at Kain. "Youre a fucked up hunan being." Roman says to her. "You should leave."
"Why? Im not the one with a girlfriend." She ssys. "But you slept with someone who has a girlfriend?" I ask her keeping my calm. I then grab my drink throwing it over her including the glass as she gasps out.
I get up but Kain stops me. Julian grabs the girl moving her away returning to her friend. I now grab his drink throwing it over his face. I was shaking with how dumb I have been again.
"Fuck." Kain says wiping his eyes. Roman stepped in between us and everyone was looking at us.
"Take me home please." I say to Roman who was holding me now.
"Okay, come on lets go."
"Zara... Zara." Kain shouts after me. He cut my oxygen off again. My heart in a million pieces, Roman dragged me along out the restaurant as I watched Kain's sad face as he got up and knocked everything off the table.