"Smit, would you do drag?" Eli popped the random question.
"Excuse me?" Smii7y looked towards Eli, tilting his head. John was standing relatively close to Smit, almost like a bodyguard. No one noticed but Tyler, who had his visor up. He gave him an understandable eyebrow raise.
"Like, dressing up in Drag?" Smii7y asked Eli.
"Yeah, would you be a Drag Queen?" Eli stared directly at Smit, he was being serious.
"No, not permanently, but I'll tell you what, give me 50 dollars right now, and we'll go to the store, and dress me in Drag for the day."
"50? Your selling me cheap, damn, I woulda asked for 100."
"If you give me 100 we'll dress Tyler in Drag too."
"WHAT?!" Tyler looked to Smit. "When the fuck was I involved??"
"Right fucking now, and if you give me 200, we'll do Droid and John with it." Smit said, one hand out, asking Eli for the money.
"Smii7y!" John and Droid, who had decided to come with them, yelled at the same time.
"Take my whole fucking wallet, let's do it!" Eli said, literally tossing Smit his whole wallet.
"Nahhh, I'm joking." Smit tossed it back. "Unless."
"NO!" There was multiple people yelling that. Multiple meaning three, John, Droid, and Tyler.
"Would you still do it though?" Eli asked.
"I mean, I won't take the helmet off, but I'll wear a dress. Maybe not while biking." Smii7y shrugged. "I'll wear booty shorts too."
"What the fuck, Smit." John said. He wanted to see that, but he also liked Smit the way he was. If that made any sense. But then again he also thought about-. Oh goodness, don't open up that part of his brain. Fuck.
"You'd femboy out for how much?" Eli looked slowly at Smit.
"Woah, that's a little suspicious Eli, you want to see that for another reason, don't you?" Smii7y chuckled. "The answer is 50 dollars."
"Femboy biker? Fuck yeah, take my money."
"Yo, we playing something?" Droid jumped in, "whoever survives the longest without a boner wins?"
"That's not fair, Smit would win every time." Tyler huffed.
"How would you know that? Hiding something?" John looked to Tyler who shook his head, and instantly regretted what he said.
"NO NO-!" Tyler tried, but was interrupted by Eli.
"Oh damn, I didn't expect you to be a boy kisser, Tyler."
"THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT-!" Tyler tried again.
"Man, I know who's winning then." Droid shrugged. "Me, I've seen enough femboys."
John knew he'd be the first to lose.
"Or is it because your dick is too small to see?" Eli huffed.
"There's multiple people that would say otherwise to that statement, and I could call one right now." Smii7y said. This was a shitshow.
"DON'T FUCKING CALL PEZZY!" Droid yelped. Oh great.
"Oh I will, how happy will he be?" Smii7y stop fuelling the flame.
"Just be a femboy already!" Eli complained.
"Hand me that fucking 50!"
Please no
Eli started laughing, and didn't give Smit the 50, to Johns relief because he would not last for long at all. Especially if Smit was the star.
"John would win, he's the straightest of you guys anyway." Eli huffed.
"Woah, never said I was straight." Better get that out of the way.
Smit stopped dead in his tracks. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me, I'd probably be the first to lose, not gonna lie." Be subtle. Tyler knew exactly what he meant by that, and was staring at him with a grin that could be seen through his eyes.
"Are we all gay here?" Smii7y laughed.
"IM NOT BUT YOU WONT LET ME SPEAK!" Tyler once again tried, but didn't get far.
"I think." Eli said, ignoring Tyler's desperate attempts now.
"Man, gay chicken, but we all gay." Droid chuckled.
"I guess I'm gay against my will." Tyler pouted.
"Wow, what an outcome, definitely didn't see that coming." Smit said sarcastically.
"You actually gonna wear booty shorts or?" Eli asked, deadpanned expression.
"WOAH, AYO?!" Tyler and Droid yelped.
John didn't like this conversation anymore.
"Maybe, we'll see." Smii7y said.
"There's no way you'll be comfortable in that." John stated.
"Yeah, yeah, true." Smii7y mumbled. "I would rather not show anything."
"Ah, you ruined it, John!" Eli pouted.
"Hey, just saying he might not want to." John shrugged.
"What if he's a manly twink, Eli!" Droid said with upmost enthusiasm.
"What the fuck is a manly twink?" Tyler looked confused.
"Maybe he doesn't want to look gay, but then give it away with his attitude." Droid crosses his arms.
"I will assure you a hot mom did ask me out." Smii7y protested.
"Smit's going for the single parents now?" Eli chuckled.
"Who said she was single?" Smit huffed. "I'm a marriage breaker, not maker, boys."
"Do you break marriages on both sides, or only the men's?" Tyler laughed out.
"Only the men's. I'll be honest." Smii7y shook his head.
"Wives hate Smii7y." Droid chuckled.
"No, Women hate Smii7y." Eli corrected Droid.
"Okay, that may be true." Smit confirmed. "Are we not going to talk about how Eli actually destroyed three marriages?"
"HEY!" Eli tried to interrupt the barrage.
"First his parents, then Fl0ms, then his own?"
"DO NOT BRING MY PARENTS INTO THIS." Eli grumbled, "and me and that woman were married for 6 days, chill."
With that, Droid burst into laughter, leaning on Tyler for support. Tyler was also laughing his ass off.
"And Fl0m?" Smii7y quizzed.
"Fucking deserved it. Plus he needed to get out of it." Eli mumbled.
"Where is Fl0m nowadays?" Smit wondered.
"Eh, he's around, saw him three days ago." Eli answered.
"Eli you could have ripped Smit to bits awhile ago, Holy shit." Droids said once he calmed down enough.
"We don't talk about that." Seriousness was heavy In Smit's tone.
"Unspoken rule." John mumbled.
"Yeah, he can dump on our parents, but we can't." Tyler piped up.
"Actually last time I checked, my parents are still married." Smit shrugged.
"Don't fucking say it." John looked to Droid, who looked like he was trying his hardest not to say what John figured he would.
'The two of many?'
Fucktard.
Wait, wasn't Smit just getting roasted on for the past twenty minutes, and when he made the perfect come back, they go at it again? Can't catch a break, goddamn.
"Anyways boys, I think it's about time we bring these bikes back." Smit concluded the conversation.
"Righty Ho Lieutenant." Eli giggled.
"That was my rank, actually."
"Wait, seriously?" Droid asked.
"Yeah, but I'm tired, let's head back." Smii7y said in a almost mocking tone.
This was just about the funniest shitshow John had bared witness too.
Actually that wasn't a shitshow, it was a fucking shitparade.
~~ A/N ~~
Sorry if that was offensive to anyone that's just my humour .😅
It's also kind of based on Smii7y's actual humour so don't come at me.
-Fun Fact(s)!-
Tyler was not supposed to actually be gay In this story, but things can change.
My irl brother's name is Tyler!
I edit periodically, so I'll post and then read over every chapter over again and edit! Long process but it can usually get me motivated again.
Every chapter is over 1000 words.