June 17th
Shawn
2:40
After Solange came back with Amariana she told me what was said I couldn't help but feel agony. 11 years Beyoncé fighting for this child and her love when she finally gets it she ruins it now she hates her. Mirah, Chris and Blue have been out the way I guess they felt the hard heavy hot tension with Amariana and Beyoncé. Right now I was in my office going over the tour schedule for me and Beyoncé. I was in process of texting a few changes that might had to made to Benny and my agent.
"Shawn?" I looked up and saw Mirah and Chris standing in the door way.
"Hey. You guys ok?" They looked at each other than back at me.
"W-I-well" Chris stuttered. He cleared the lump that came across his throat. "We think we should go home for real this time" he spoke with seriousness. Damn it.
"Are you sure?" They both nodded without any hesitating. I sighed and nodded. I can't force them to stay. And I understand why they want to leave I mean things have been heated and they witnessed it all.
"Ok" I nodded. "When?" I asked Mirah cleared her throat
"Umm today" I softened my face with sadness. Did we really just scare these kids off.
"Guys come one today? You sure you don't wanna spend a few more days with Amariana?" They shook their heads.
"It's just too much. And I told mama bey I wanted to go home but she got me to stay but I can't take this and they both hate each other." I hugged and sat my head back against my seat
"Please don't leave me here" I brought my head down and saw Amariana standing in the doorway with teary eyes and she looked among her friends.
"Mari we don't want to leave but this is family issues" Mirah spoke. Lefty shook her head.
"But you are my family" she cried.
"We know but this time it's more personal than usual" Chris said softly rubbing her back.
"What's goin on?" Beyoncé appeared at the door. Amariana lifted her head and looked at her evily.
"Are you fucking happy now?" She yelled before storming off. Beyoncé scrunched her face and looked at me confused.
"Look why don't you guys go back yeah?" They nodded slowly and walked out.
"Pack for what where are they going?" Beyoncé asked as I stood up from my chair.
"They said they wanna go home" she shook her head.
"What no I promised them I'll give them the best summer" I raised my brow.
"And that's what you call what's been going on?" She softened her face and sad out in sadness.
"Shit" she muttered I nodded.
"And they are right maybe they don't need to be here for this it stop much happening at once" I spoke softy. She chewed the index of her lip and raised her eyebrows together.
"Yeah" she tucked her lips. "I guess your right" i nodded in agreement.
"Yeah maybe things will get a bit better within these few months and they can come back soon" i suggested she nodded.
"So wait she thinks this is my fault?" She smiled bitterly. I tucked my lips and raised my brows slightly nodding. Her smile faded.
"Wait. Do you think it's my fault?" I stated quite.
"Wow" she nodded. "Of course you'll take her side" she scoffed and walked away but I followed.
"I'm not taking anyone's side Beyoncé" I stated as I followed her to our bedroom.
"Bull shit Shawn you always do" she slightly yelled.
"Beyoncé you are the adult here so act like it I'm not taking anyone's side but the way you been acting did lead to them wanting to leave and even before Chris said he wanted to go home already so no one is really blaming you but however your actions are apart of it yes" I informed her she nodded.
"Got it." She said blankly.
"Come on Beyoncé don't be like this" i huffed out getting frustrated.
"Don't be like what Shawn" she yelled. "The typical bitch that always messing things up. Right cause it all my fault" she nodded.
"It's not all on you Beyoncé but you ring the adult as of now your acting like a child." She nodded.
"Ok Shawn we'll since you feel that way you can go take care of yours out there with the messed up ribs and leave me alone." She sat on the bed and got on her laptop.
"Beyoncé" I chuckled bitterly.
"Don't you think your child needs you?" She said blankly without looking at me.
"My child?" I scrunched my face.
"Yes your child" she looked at me.
"So what you don't claim her now?" With no hesitation her answer cut into my heart.
"No I don't. Now please go away" I raised my bottom lip under my top lip and nodded. I walked out the room and ran into blue.
"Hi princess" I smiled she just looked at me. Blue hasn't been tlaking for a while and it was really worrying Beyoncé and I. We talked to Kelly and asked her if she knew the best therapist in Houston and she said yes. Since Kelly had been through a lot with losing her mom and never having a dad and being on a abusive relationship she knew all about therapy.
"How come Chris and Mirah are leaving?" Her little raspy voice spoke. Honestly breaking my heart.
"Well we think if they go home for a while things will be a bit easier" she nodded simply and came and hugged me. I picked her up and carried her downstairs.
"Im gonna get you some help princess" I kissed her head. I promise"
Beyoncé
3:16
Is it my fault? I understand some what of my actions but it's not all on me. She still said I'm not her mother and no one understands that my feeling's and heart died down. Sitting in my room staring blankly and coldly at the wall as I listened to Nicki on the other end of the phone telling me that Amariana is a sweet innocent child.
"Seriously Beyoncé she's just been through alot" I rolled my eyes tired of the same thing being said.
"And I haven't been through 11 years?" I was fed up with everyone saying she just been through a lot.
"Beyo-" she began
"No I'm tired of every one relaying on her like she's just some Queen and she doesn't deserve consequences for what she said but I'm just some evil bitch who hates her 14 years old right?" I heard her breathe out.
"Beyoncé nobody think of you that way."
"Yeah y'all won't say i but that's how you see it" she went silent. I nodded by head and hung up without saying a damn thing. I tossed my phone to the end of the bed and huffed. Is it me?
"Mama?" I looked up and saw Chris and Mirah dressed and ready to go. I hit my lip and shook my head anxiously. This was not the plan.
"We just came to say bye" Mirah spoke softly. I nodded and got up and walked towards them.
"I'm so sorry my promise failed." I spoke sincerely.
"It's ok" Chris said. "It's not like anyone knew this was gonna happen or Candace would come back. I nodded my head in agreement. Before I froze and thought. Amariana knew she was comings. I got up from my squat and gently pushed passed mirah and Chris I went to Amariana room not budging to knock.
"You knew didn't you?" I gritted she sat up from her bed.
"What?" She scrunched her face.
"You knew Candace was coming you saw her in the bathroom that day and you didn't show us that message until after she said she was coming for you" she fiddle with her fingers not saying anything. I nodded.
"You demon child" i hissed she looked at me taking back.
"Daddy is the one that said wait until something happens" she yelled.
"And you seeing her in the bathroom was something that happened"
"But you see I got away and came back to your ass right" I laughed bitterly.
"You a sorry excuse for a daughter" I glared at her. She scoffed
"And your the same way as a unfit Ass mother" she hissed
"Lefty" I heard Shawn yell in a warning tone coming into her room.
"No daddy she thinks she right about everything but she's not. You never cared about me Beyoncé and you know it" she serious right now.
"I never cared about you Amariana?" I pointed to my self she blinked and nodded a yes. I hummed and nodded. "Well since I don't care you can get out my house" i hissed.
"Fine with me. And oh I'm sorry for trying to protect your damn child" she said grabbing her things.
"And you fucking failed" I yelled.
"Just think what she would've did if she got her herself if I wasn't there" I shook my head
"Your point?" I asked crossing my arms.
"My point is more could've happened to her if I wasn't there" she yelled I chuckled.
"Still failed" I spoke aggressive.
"Maybe me coming back wasn't supposed to happened you weren't ready for me and you clearly don't know about me enough either"
"Oh really. Like what?"
"That I tired to kill myself when I was 13 i took a handful of Candace's pain pills and overdosed was in the Hospital for two weeks. I'm as raped and touch by every fucking man that would enter that house so yes you don't know shit about me" I was a bit taken back but I held my grown.
"Good to know" I nodded. She scoffed and packed her bag.
"Not like blue wasn't gonna get kidnapped anyway" she mumbled.
"Excuse me" I raised my brow.
"Yeah I said it" she snapped her head my way. "Your ass doesn't know how how to pay attention because if you did maybe some shit wouldn't have happened"
"Oh yeah like what Marie?" I put my hand on my hip. She grabbed the last of her things and came and stood infront of me looking me in my eyes.
"Like 11 years ago" she gritted. My heart burned I like gasped and she just looked at me before walking away. She walked past Shawn and the kids before the kids followed behind her.
"Amari wait" Mirah spoke chasing after her. I looked at Shawn and he looked at me with anger in his eyes.
"Who are you right now?"he shook his head. He walked out and I sat there letting the thought of was it my fault flow through out my head.
Shawn
4:00
"Lefty" i called out as she walked down the street. She turned and looked at me. "Come get on the car". She came back and got in the car.
"I don't want to go back there"she muttered i sighed
"Well where you gonna go?" She shrugged.
"I can go back to Jackson with Mirah and Chris. She doesn't want me there" I shook my head.
"But I do your my child just as much lefty" she huffed.
"Well I don't want to be there. Look can I got to grandmas or auntie Kelly's" I knew she wasn't gonna let go and I know her and bey being under the same roof wasn't gonna be anything but hell.
"I'll call Kelly grandma got a lot goin on with solo being there" she nodded and sigh relief.
"Sorry this all happened and lead for you guys to leave but if we can get this all sorted out quickly and w shave time then you can come back" I looked through the review mirror speaking to Mirah and Chris.
"Doubt that's gonna happen" lefty muttered. I glanced at her and she shrugged.
"It's okay" Mirah said softly o shook my head because it wasn't they shouldn't have witness any of this. We began our journey to Jackson.
2 hours later
We we're currently pulling into Chris's house.
"Here we are" I parked the car and everyone got out. We walked up the porch and Chris pulled out his key.
"Mama I'm home" he called out as he opens the door and we walked in behind him.
"Hey" she appeared coming downstairs."what's going on it's not the end of the summer is it?" She playfully chuckled.
"No umm if I could talk to you" she saw the seriousness on my face she nodded.
"Umm kids why don't you head upstairs yeah?" They all nodded and headed upstairs while she led me to the living.
"Is everything ok?" She asked while sitting down as I sat form across her.
"Umm no not really" I cleared my throat. "Candace came back and kidnapped Amariana again"
"Oh my god"she gasped. I nodded
"And things haven't been so well with her and Beyoncé so we felt it would be good for them to come back until everything is settled and I told them that if there is some time left before they go back to school they can come back" she nodded
"Yeah that's fine I completely understand and I'm sure Angela will as well" i nodded.
"I'm sorry it had to be like this we promised them the best summer and it went completely left" I shook my head.
"It's alright really it's actually good for them to see everyone had problems especially with you guys being who you are it's normal" I nodded.
"Ok well that's all I guess" I stood up.
"Yeah thank you for letting me know" I nodded.
"Of course. Lefty you ready" I called out. I heard her coming down the stairs. She came to me and I pulled her into my side.
"Ok baby girl I hope to see you soon" Kim came and hugged. "I hope things get better" she looked between us. We both nodded.
"Ok we better get going I have to take her to her aunts" she smiled and nodded.
"I'll walk you out" i nodded and we walked to the door. My phone buzzed and I pulled it out. No way in hell this is happening to me again.
"Hey baby. Did you miss me"
😒
Thoughts?
Beyoncé and amariana argument?
Chris and Mirah leaving?
Blue?
Who texted Shawn?
It's gonna take me a few days for the next update because I'm flying to Jersey tomorrow.