So near yet so far.
A 'maybe' was an apocalypse.
Adding this word to any sentence made it sound like a crushed dream, but also, a form of hope the very next second. A beautifully broken dream and equally magnetic hope. It was a moment of dusk, a blink before was night, and a blink after, was morning. There was no halt.
No in-between.
One can spend their whole life in the vicious circle a single 'Maybe' could weave.
The Universe fights for certain souls to find one another and a 'maybe' plays its role in their separation. It places people in your life just to take them away, just to teach you things that beauty cannot. And a 'maybe' makes you believe that the Universe fights for the heartbreaks, for the missed opportunities, for the bad timings. A small 'Maybe' and the meaning turns offhand, it starts to believe that those moments show one's strength in ways the hope cannot. A 'maybe' within the words makes you believe in the losses that you truly find gratitude in, had stayed.
We start believing 'maybe.'
We start living in 'maybe.'
Maybe it is this or maybe it is that.
A maybe could bring fortunes the same way it was capable of destroying dynasties.
It could blind you with truths and push you into the pits of lies.
Lies of a 'Maybe' through caring for those who make us feel like we are hard to love that we are taught how to embrace those who see us, those who truly protect our souls. And a 'maybe, just maybe' could pull one out through the darkened journey, teaching how to appreciate the warmth, how to chase the light, how to believe in it even when we do not feel it, how to trust that it is pinned and blooming in this world, waiting to be discovered.
A 'Maybe' tries to teach us how to be thankful for all that did not work in our life. It is a reminder for you. For us. A reality check, and a blinding hope.
A hope of finding everything that you love ruthlessly. A hope of holding the love you give and getting it back with the same conviction; that when it is finally right, the things that you reach for in life, the things you deeply hope for, they will reach back.
A 'maybe' and a 'hope' tells you that the Universe is trying to help you understand that all of the things you ached for, that did not work out, were not the losses that broke you, or ruined you, or made you less worthy. They were what built you. They taught you about yourself. They led you to the person you were meant to be, and they guided you towards what was meant for you. They shaped you. They challenged you. They grew you.
At the end of the day, a 'maybe' and a 'hope' remind you- the Universe does not take without giving. The Universe does not leave you empty, it always balances the scales within you. For all that it destroys, it creates. For all that falls apart, something is coming together.
It tell you that please, please just trust the timing of life. Just remember that you will never lose what is for you. The right things will always connect.
The right things will always come back to you.
That she will come back to him. 'She' was the right thing in his life.
And, there was no 'maybe' here.
He knew Dhwani was meant to be his, not just a part but all. Every single thing.
He didn't know if the day really had 24 hours or if the moon circled this planet and actually lost its parts that we humans term as phases. These phenomena were not what he had seen with his naked eyes but he had seen one. His life only had Dhwani. It revolved around her, no matter the time, place, or any world.
In a crowded room, his eyes searched for hers, and on a deserted road, she was the only companion he desired.
"The fire was because of an electric short circuit." The officer informed the only handful of people around. "We had cut the power supply of the neighborhood for the past hours and extinguished the fire. We have removed the power supply for only this building and the rest of the place will have the power back. This will help us find traces of Mrs. Chauhan."
"You said you had checked the place for her," Rakshit asked patiently. As if he has switched personalities with someone else, Anirudh in the sense that he was acting composed while Anirudh lost his patience like a cloud shedding water after hundreds of days lost in accumulating it.
He was bursting and, only the air could help him move.
His air was his Petal.
"Yes, we did." The officer swallowed. "The local police checked the surroundings but due to less visibility, it was very difficult."
"Excuses." Anirudh snapped taking a threatening step towards the in-charge. "You are giving us only excuses for the past hours. We have told you time and time again that two people are missing. My wife and another pregnant lady. They. are. missing."
"We are doing our best, Mr. Chauhan." The officer grumbled in offense. "My men will go in and search for them. I am sure we will be able to recover the bodies now..."
"Shut the hell up!" Anirudh lunged at him, fisting his collar he yanked the man dangerously. "How dare you call my wife a body?"
"Bhai"
"Sir"
"Killing him will not bring Bhabhi, Bhai." Rakshit and Hyde held him back. They pulled a raging Anirudh away from the man before he killed him.
"I will pull your tongue out, you bastard. How dare you call my wife a body? She is alive. Do you hear me? She is fucking alive."
"No matter if you are a Big shot. You cannot curse and harm an on-duty officer, Mr. Chauhan. It is a punishable offense." The officer coughed and straightened his color glaring at the trio while Anirudh glared him back.
"I will tell you what is a punishable offence." He seethed shrugging out his brother and bodyguard's hold. "Declaring an alive person dead and not doing your job is an offense. I could sue you for not doing your job, Officer. Don't bait me. You wouldn't like the consequences."
"Bhai." Rakshit pushed him behind and shot a glare at his elder brother. He gestured to Hyde to take the raging man away. "We are sorry, Officer. My brother is in distress."
"Rakshit."
Rakshit ignored Anirudh and continued. "I apologize on his behalf. I request you look for my Bhabhi. Please."
Anirudh exhaled like a raging bull earning pitiful glances from the men and turned around to walk towards the cars. He slammed his fist into the bonnet and let out an augmented frustrated curse.
"You are losing your calm, Bhai." Rakshit chided him from behind.
"Should I not?" He screamed facing him. "It has been 5 fucking hours, damnit. No one knows where is Dhwani. What if she is injured or hurt? What if she wasn't able to escape? What if she needs me and I am not there? I feel so helpless and redundant that it is choking me. I cannot breathe, Rakshit...I cannot breathe."
His words choked and he averted his eyes from him.
"I...I acted like a bastard in the past week. She tried reaching me and I pushed her away, for what? A mirror she tried showing me? When she needed me, I was on a fucking plane nursing my rat-sized heartbreak. She may have hurt me but I disappointed her. In the name of saving my family, I was so busy that I failed to see what my family was going through. She said there were things she wanted to talk to me. She knew things were fishy and she wanted my help. She needed me but like an impudent brat, I ignored her. I kept vouching that I would never let anything happen to her but I failed. I failed myself, I failed her. And, maybe, I failed us."
"You did not." Rakshit made him look back towards him. "Do you hear me? She is fine. They are going inside the building and they will be able to check thoroughly. They will look for her and bring her to you. She will come back to you and you will have all your lives to make up for your mistakes. You told me this same thing when I first lost Shreya, remember? You said...'I will get back the woman I love and I will have an eternity to make it up to her.' Now I am telling you, you will find her back. No power can separate you from your wife. I will never let that happen. Do you trust your brother?"
Anirudh blinked harshly to stop his tears.
"Come here, you dummy." Rakshit pulled him in his arms and Anirudh let his shaking shoulders be held by him. He wanted to weep like a child, he wanted to let it all go out of him but not now. He had to hold back. He cannot lose control of his emotions. "I never knew I would be holding the great Anirudh Chauhan when he cries. Do you think I should call the people from World Records and get this registered?"
"As if you haven't made one with your idiocy until now," Anirudh grumbled parting from him.
"Mean bitch." Rakshit snorted.
He rolled his eyes. "What did the commissioner say?"
"The commissioner is in talks with the IT cell. They will be releasing the footage. We will get a clue soon but you need to keep a check on your emotions. These people, are here to help us. The least you could do is respect them and be grateful. Don't be a jerk, Bhai. You are not an A-grader. "
Anirudh clenched his fist and looked up to take deep breaths. Rakshit was right, he was losing his composure, but more than that, he was starting to lose hope.
He cannot lose hope. Not when he firmly believed that she was his and would return to him.
He had to keep it alive. For his sake, for her, for them.
He had to keep believing in the maybes and keep hope alive.
He had to.
"Sir."
The loud call from Hyde made the two brothers look in the direction. His man of resources was running towards them like a storm while his face was rigid but the slight stutter in his tone alarmed the two brothers.
"What, what is it, Hyde?" Rakshit asked the hulk of the man who gulped and looked apprehensive before he spoke.
"The commissioner sir has shared footage." He informed them and passed a tablet toward them.
The screen moved and they could see a dark pathway. They could make out the orphanage building at a distance which burst into high flames after a blast.
"This is behind the garden exit," Hyde informed.
The building kept burning as the time ticked.
"We were here when the east part blasted, Hyde." Anirudh pointed his security head with a glare. "What is new in this?"
"This," Rakshit answered and three pairs of eyes kept hooked on the screen. The road wasn't deserted. They could see little movements. Two figures and both women.
"Dhwani?" He questioned and Hyde nodded diligently.
"She had escaped. This is the proof of it." Hyde elaborated. "We could see them taking the garden exit as predicted and hiding inside an alley. They stayed there until recently."
"What do you mean? Where is she now?" Anirudh snatched the tablet to zoom in on the screen and kept watching not wanting to miss a single second of her. It was so, so damn precious.
He could make her staggering figure support another woman who had an inflated belly. The pregnant girl who was hardly able to walk.
"They were in the alley for an hour and then Mam supported the other lady to get help. You will see a man finding them at 2:03 am. He brought in an auto and helped the two ladies."
True to his words, Anirudh fast-forwarded the video and a man deposited the women in the backside of an auto rickshaw taking them away.
"Find this man, Hyde. Look where he took her and sent this clip to all the men. I need my wife safe." Anirudh could feel the blood rushing to his ears, the noose around his neck not tightening up anymore as he was finally able to take a steady breath. A hint on her and he could already feel better.
"We are tracing his whereabouts, sir." Like the dutiful man he is, he had already had people digging and searching for them.
Another 15 minutes and Hyde had a pensive face.
"Did you know about her? Have you checked the local hospitals and dispensaries? If the man was good enough to help them, he would have taken them to a hospital here" He was restless and with each passing second that he played the video again and again, he felt the noose around tightening again.
She was hurt. He could see her staggering steps. His petal was hurt and he couldn't wait here anymore.
"We got him." Hyde's announcement made the three jump into the cars and get to driving. "The man says he took the ladies to a local nursing home."
"Give me the address and ask a fully equipped ambulance to rush there. We will be taking Dhwani and the lady to ours. I do not trust anyone with her." His instructions were met instantly. "Rakshit, inform the hospital, and Hyde, get Vidyut to rush. I don't care what he says, I need the best surgeon available there for any unforeseen action."
The ambulances were there before them and were taking the patients, the compounder and the doctor stood at the side understanding the situation from the team leader of the ambulance staff. For the second time in the 5 hours, Anirudh ran towards the group earning wide eyes.
"Where are they? Two ladies were brought in by an autorickshaw. How are they?" The last thread was holding him back which seemed to have reached its death as well.
"The girl is going into pre-term labor." The nurse answered urgently. "Please sir, don't make her travel now. The baby and mother both are at risk. There are chances they would not make it."
"But I think we will make it if we hurry." The team leader jumped in.
"You think?" Anirudh gritted and the man glanced once at his team and back at his boss's elder brother.
"No. I am certain. We will make it." He was confident enough that others could feel it inside them.
"Nothing happens to them both. Either they live or be assured Dr...." He read the name on his tag "Amit, you will not have any job to return."
"They will live, sir." A quick nod and his team was dispatched to bring in the lady.
They were talking about the pregnant lady but what about her? How was she? How much hurt was she?
Anirudh swallowed the bile. "What...what about the other woman? She came here too."
"Oh, her." The doctor looked uncomfortable but nodded towards the gate. "Please come with me."
"Come, Bhai." Rakshit tapped his shoulder nudging him to follow the man inside.
Clenching his fist and bracing his heart, he walked inside the matchbox-sized room that acted as the reception area, and then towards the right was a room three times the matchbox that had three beds in total. One where Amit and his team were plugging in their devices and ready to shift the woman whose name he remembered as Manna.
A curtain hid the next bed and the doctor stopped near this bed, trying to act emotionless but the grim tilt to his lips had Anirudh's steps falter.
"She had lost a lot of blood."
First statement and he didn't have enough strength to listen more.
"Her forehead and nose kept bleeding. She was hit on the nape as well but her wounds aren't deep."
His knees were giving up, if not Rakshit holding him, Anirudh would have collapsed.
"The high blood pressure is acting as the derivative for blood loss. We tried giving her medicines but she wouldn't take them. Somehow we injected her with pain meds and now she had passed out. Please come around and you will be able to see her."
He couldn't see her, not this battered and bruised. He didn't have enough strength.
"Bhai." Rakshit nudged and he shook his head. "She is fine. Take a look at her."
"She is hurt." He mumbled. His eyes refused to watch her as they blurred with the onslaught of tears. They knew he couldn't watch her hurt.
The doctor parted the curtains and he lost his balance.
She lay on an iron bed under the pale blue hospital sheet. Her head was neatly bandaged but the red spot seemed to enlarge each passing minute. Her face was bruised and traces of blood could be made out from a hundred meters. Her eyes were closed but they continuously moved. She was in pain and restless.
"Petal." He stumbled to her sleeping form and cradled her face in his arms. "Hey, it's me. I am here, nothing will come to you anymore. I am here."
Her face scrounged in pain and her breath intake sharpened. She didn't have an artificial breathing support but she was fragile.
"We...we need to take her," Anirudh announced ready to scoop her in his arms.
"Her blood transfusion is being done, if you can wait for a few minutes." The doctor suggested but his team of doctors were there.
The man may have saved his wife's life but he did not trust them with her. He wanted her to be checked and taken care of by hand-picked people.
"They will take care of it," Rakshit answered on his behalf. "We are grateful for helping us, Doctor Datta. Please come with me, there is something I would like to talk about."
The second team of doctors was quick to latch on to Dhwani record her vitals and make observations.
"High blood pressure, possible concussions, a potential hairline fracture in the neck, deep degree burns on upper arms and back..."
"I am late, Petal." Anirudh clutched onto her cold fingers. "I should have found you earlier."
His murmur met a wince from her as the team checked on all the potential injuries.
"Careful with her. She shouldn't feel any pain." Anirudh snapped at them and earned a series of nods.
"We are ready to transfer her." Amit stepped in to save his team.
Anirudh nodded without looking away from her. "I am trusting my wife with you, Amit. Do not let me repeat it."
The warming was loud and clear to them. They nodded and gently placed her on a rolling stretcher that they wheeled out of the room.
"Bhai." Rakshit was still talking to the doctor when Anirudh followed the stretcher and was ready to accompany her in the ambulance. "You will come with us."
"No." Anirudh declared not glancing at him. "I need to be near her."
Before he could board the ambulance, he was pulled back.
"What the hell, Rakshit?" His wife needed him and this brother of his wouldn't let him get to her. "I told you. I am going with them. Dhwani is hurt."
"Are you a doctor?"
"Are you out of your mind?" Anirudh snarled.
"Do you have supernatural healing powers?"
"What sort of question is that?"
"You have none." Rakshit declared "You will be of no help to them. You are not a doctor, so please let them do their job." He ignored the rage and gave a go to the team who closed their doors before Anirudh could board it.
"Hey!" Anirudh screamed as they hurried and drove off. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"You wouldn't be able to see her in pain," Rakshit answered with a pensive smile. "I couldn't. You will only want her safe and not let the doctors do their job to ease her out of it, Bhai. I couldn't risk you watching her go through the treatment. It will be forever engraved in your soul and you will hold it your entire life. I can't watch you suffer."
He couldn't look away from the road as the words made sense to him. It was a truth. He would have forever blamed himself for every little amount of pain that she would go through. He still would but the intensity of it would be less than what he would have watched on her.
"You are not going with them," Rakshit concluded for him. "I wouldn't allow it."
■ ■ ■
"What is the status?"
Vidyut shot to his waiting staff, handing over his bag and coat as they rushed towards the emergency where the ambulance wheeled two women, one was heavily pregnant and had several gnashes on her face but the major cut was on her back that seeped blood on the white hospital sheets.
"Patient name, Manna. Age 21, development of gestational hypertension, the fetus's position is lower than normal. Excessive blood loss has led to preterm labor. Dr. Amit's team had stabilized her with pain meds. Dr. Chahat and Dr. Verma are preparing for caesarian delivery. 7% chance of stillbirth and 37 for mother's life. It is a dead end, Doctor."
"What about the other one?"
"Dhwani Chauhan, 26, excessive hypertension, concussion to head, 2nd-degree burns and major blood loss. Previous history has been received and informed to all. Dr. Singh has taken over her. The CT scan is yet to come, only after we could decide to operate on them."
"Keep updating.." Vidyut nodded at the information as he dressed into his scrubs and got hold of his coat as they entered the hallway. He witnessed Rakshit and Harshvardhan standing at one corner and nodded at them in a greeting.
He had yet to inform his family of what went down in Panchgani. While he nursed Uttara back to health, Anirudh had kept his whereabouts to himself and made excuses for his family who didn't bother him with difficult questions. They had an understanding of what might have gone down with their son.
"Vid."
Vidyut stopped and spun on his heel to face a distorted Anirudh, his eyes had gone red which he could guess to be more than a lack of sleep.
"Don't let anything happen to her." Anirudh's words reminded him of days before what he went through when he had to wait outside of the ICU they treated her in.
"I promise, Bhai." He nodded with conviction.
Anirudh blinked and moved to stand with their father who embraced his son.
"Sir, all are waiting."
Vidyut entered the outer area of the operation theatre where his fellow doctors were prepared for performing, he washed his hands to disinfect them. The nurse helped him with the robe and cap as he walked inside to examine a young woman under anesthesia.
"We are ready." Dr. Chahat, the OB-Gyn declared.
Vidyut nodded towards his fellow doctors and the cloth from Manna's belly was removed. A live ultrasound showed them the position of the baby now was restless in the womb, it was moving causing a rush of panic to the surgeons.
"We might not be able to save both of them."
"But we try." He knew the chances. He knew what a baby meant to its mother and he also knew how a good and bad mother was. He had seen accurate examples of both in his life, yet, he felt his fingers shake for a small second until they did not.
He forwarded his hand for a scalpel and the assistant passed him one. A straight cut on her abdomen started a series of rushes among the surgeons, they multi-tasked, each noting the vitals and then the condition rates.
Manna whimpered between the procedure and Vidyut shot a harsh glare at the technician who controlled the level of anesthesia given to her.
The technician fumbled a little but redeemed his mistake quickly.
The multiple monitors kept spreading a noise to their ears as they tried to stop the bleeding and take the baby out. The umbilical cord was pressuring the baby's neck and hands, keeping it entangled. The doctors with utmost precision and gentleness brought out the new life, breaking the tie between the womb and the baby girl who never cried. The nurse quickly took the baby to her to make her cry, she patted her bottoms and held its legs in the air leaving him hanging upside down.
An intense silence spread inside the OT where the surgeons took it upon themselves to save either of the one's life. They might be losing on the pre-mature child but they still had a chance with the mother.
A loud sound of beeps that was any surgeon's nightmare alarmed Vidyut and his hold firmed on his favorite tools.
"Doctor, she is sinking."
Someone from his team announced yet he refused to look away from his theatre table. He kept his eyes fixed and kept his hands stable as others took over while he sutured her.
"Get the defibrillator on." Dr. Verma, the cardiologist shouted and Vidyut took steps back as his work was done. He gave table space to them as his feet took him to the little child who was still being toyed in order to breathe some life.
The middle-aged nurse held a defeated expression while her eyes teared up at the lack of response from this small girl who had yet to breathe in the air.
"Please, princess." He murmured to her while taking the little bundle in his arms, gently patting her back. "Your mother needs you, call her so she can fight for you."
With each passing second, he could see thousands of life pass. Each effort, each trial, and each failure built a doctor over the years. There were often successes but it was a failure that was most remembered.
These doctors, had the skills to save lives while their own were filled with the loss of strangers. They may not be the person who lay at their mercy but each second they passed on them was towards building a bond.
They may not share the loss with the grieving families but they did stay awake because of them.
He heard the cheering but it was short-lived as one got a breath sacrificed by another.
"She..." Vidyut knew what this hesitation meant, he closed his eyes to let the words pass him. "17th February 2023. Time of death 08:41 hours."
■ ■ ■
It was morning, a day after the long night where he had witnessed his whole world somersaulting, making him realize what power a few hours held. He traced the sunbeams filtering through the window with sleepy eyes. His fingers met hers and he placed his head against her bed, holding onto her as he blinked to let the sun make its presence and take the last bits of darkness he felt within.
He blinked drowsily and stopped fighting sleep. He did not feel the noose around him anymore, nor did he feel that his heart would jump out of his ribcage in the next seconds. He felt better, his calmness and level-headedness returning to him as he decided to critically analyze the facts and stories once he took a small break and breathed into the same air as her.
His petal was near him.
She was within his reach, safe and warm, unlike the last night.
His eyes must have closed for only a second or that is what it felt when he was shaken awake. His fist reflex was to clutch onto her fingers and check for any potential danger around, once the fit of assurance passed, he turned towards the person who envied his mere moments of relief.
"The operation is over."
Anirudh blinked to let his eyes focus on Rakshit's face who hovered above him.
"You should come with me." He nudged on his arm and yanked him out of his sit.
Anirudh shrugged out of his hold and turned back to Dhwani's sleeping form. After 2 dozes of anesthesia, she had calmed down, she had been restless and whimpering the entire night, as if still fighting demons and chasing safety. He had sat near her the entire time, holding her hand, and cajoling her. He had felt her fingers tighten around him each time she remembered and lived through her nightmares again.
"Don't be scared anymore." He caressed her face and placed a chaste kiss on her head before following a somber Rakshit out. He met his brother standing in his scrubs with his shoulders sagged and eyes ducked in guilt.
"How is she?" Rakshit questioned impatiently, with the night, his quota of patience had also ended.
Vidyut clutched his eyes in shame and shook his head. "Only one was saved."
Anirudh inhaled a measured breath, not breaking his composure. "The baby?"
He nodded once. "She is weak. Needs to be in NICU for some weeks until her organs adapt to the environment."
"We had requested to save the mother." Anirudh had signed those papers before the nurse rolled Manna inside the operation theatre.
"We tried too."
"So, Manna is dead?" Rakshit asked.
"She asked for something before that." Vidyut answered making Anirudh frown.
"What is it?"
Vidyut contemplated yet nevertheless uttered the words for them, "A mother for her daughter."
Will be winding up the story in next 2 parts. Don't hold your horses back, keep guessing how things turn and who hit Dhwani.
More drama to unfold once she gets back to consciousness.