Chapter 72
"No," Josh said, shaking his head after looking at the billboard I had been pointing.
"No? Just no? No other justification?"
"No is a complete sentence, Blake."
"It's funny, Dr Boseman basically told me this, this week."
"A wise man."
"You've been turning down every billboard we've seen for the last two hours."
"This is a process. You need to let me do my thing."
"Is your thing making us waste a whole evening?"
"You need to respect the artist. You need to let the artist feel for his canvas, be moved by his canvas, be inspired by his canvas."
"Be taken on a date by his canvas, be properly wined and dined by his canvas, be bedded by his canvas."
"You young folks have no respect for artists these days."
"This is not artistry. This is just you being a picky nuisance."
"Nuisance? Who you calling a nuisance? The guy who had to go buy spray cans because you forgot to check the ones in our bag and didn't realize we were all out of black? That guy?"
"The bag was in your apartment."
"But the bag is your responsibility."
"How? How is the bag my responsibility when it stays at your apartment?"
"You're unreliable, is what you are."
"I'm unreliable? Me? Who was two hours late today again?"
"Oh, I'm sorry? Are we supposed to hunt for billboards in broad daylight?"
"Yes! So we can see what we'll be dealing with around! So we can see clearly."
"We're seeing clearly right now."
"Clearly not because you're still not picking a billboard."
"Because the right one hasn't shown itself to me yet!"
"Jesus, are you two always like this," Lexi grumbled at the back of the car.
"Blake, handle your woman."
I gapped at my best friend, while Lexi was reaching forward, trying to slap the back of Josh's head. "You handle yourself."
"This is mutiny and I will have none of it in my car!" Josh shrieked, flailing his arms around to protect himself.
"It's my car," I reminded him.
"And thanks god for that. Imagine me driving a pimp-mobile?" Josh made a gagging sound. "The nightmare."
"My cat is not a pimp-mobile," I replied, glaring at him.
"So, you're dealing drugs, not whores?"
"I'm gonna punch you very soon."
"Oh yes, do it daddy, make my night," Josh replied automatically.
I was stopped at the right light now, so I stared at him, incredulous. "What the fuck? How the fuck would that make your night?"
"HURT ME DADDY!" he just yelled as a reply.
"I wanna get out of this car," Lexi whined in the back.
Josh turned all the war around, arms around his seat, peaking at my girlfriend with his chin resting on top of the seat. "Though luck babe, you're stuck with me. I put the child lock on."
And just to prove that point, when Lexi tried to open her door, it wouldn't budge. "What the actual hell?"
"When did you do that?" I asked, thoroughly confused now.
Josh didn't answer and just cackled evilly.
"I don't want to be in the car with the deranged man anymore Blake," my girlfriend repeated.
"Me neither."
That just made Josh cackle more.
In the end, no billboard was good enough for Josh, so I dropped everyone off at their places and went back home.
It was getting pretty late, so I just tip toed back to my room, getting ready for sleep.
I was about to turn off my lights and snuggle into bed when my phone rang.
My girlfriend was calling me.
I picked up the call, and Lexi skipped the greetings, tell me, "My father just gave me a bunch of condoms"
I burst into laughter. "Do you think it's because the principal called?"
"Oh man, I hadn't even thought about that..."
"Of course you hadn't," I chuckled at my unobservant girlfriend.
"He gave me a whole speech, acting like he knew we were having sex, which we are not, so jokes on him! Who's a shark now?"
"I mean..." I trailed, thinking about some nights in her room when I had less self control than usual, "it's not like we're doing nothing, you know?"
"But nothing that would get me pregnant, so he better lay off. And Tyler was there too and adding fuel to fire. Seriously, they annoy me so much," she whined.
"Hey, it just means they care," I tried to reason with her.
No point in getting my girlfriend angry over this.
It probably didn't help that Josh had been annoying her all evening long too.
"They care about pissing me off," she said, and then paused and asked, her voice rising a little bit, "Why are you chuckling?"
"Sorry. My mad Pumpkin always amuses me," I said, trying very hard to hide the amusement in my voice.
"That's not true! You fear your mad Pumpkin. FEAR!"
"Ah, yes, fear," I replied, nodding, as I turned the lights off and went to sit in my bed.
"I am threatening!"
"Yep, absolutely," I agreed.
"You're annoying me too now," Lexi grumbled.
I chuckled. "Hey! I'm your supportive boyfriend! How dare you be annoyed with me?"
"My annoying boyfriend sounds way too amused to be supportive."
"Would you feel less annoyed if you had an actual need right now for the condoms?"
I asked and then kind of regretted it immediately.
After my last therapy session, I hadn't had any talks with Lexi, even though I knew I should. Even though I knew we needed to talk about this.
And now I was maybe opening a can of worms I wasn't ready to deal with just yet.
But fortunately for me, my Pumpkin was too riled up to think about any of that.
"No! I just hate it when people assume they know everything about me, and the people around me, even if it's my father and my brother. They don't know anything and they act like they know everything. It's annoying," she whined.
"I think the fact that they don't listen to you when you tell them something is what's really annoying you though," I said softly, trying to be the good boyfriend she deserved. "They should trust your words."
"Yes! They should trust my words," Lexi agreed, making me smile.
"But, it's understandable. I'm very irresistible. I understand why they think you wouldn't be able to resist me," I teased her, trying to lighten up her mood.
"Especially since I clearly don't resist you."
"True," I answered, and pause. Might as well do this now. "Do you want to talk about that?"
"Nooooo," she whined, "I don't want to talk about that, or anything. I just want to be left aloooone."
I chuckled again. "So dramatic."
"You're rubbing off on me."
"Clearly not enough," I said, because I might as well joke about it.
"Bye," Lexi replied, unimpressed.
"Love you."
"Sure, sure, love you too," she said, her tone flat, making me laugh more.
"Good night, Pumpkin."
"Good night, Ralphie."
"Wait, wait, wait," I said quickly, before she hung up. "Ralphie?"
"Don't like your new nickname?" Lexi replied, and it was her turn to have an amused tone.
"Should I start calling you Beth then since we're using middle names?" I asked since hers was Elizabeth.
"I like Beth. Beth is cute."
I let out an amused sigh. "Seriously?"
"I just think the name is cute."
"We'll name our daughter Beth then," I said with a grin, settling in my bed.
"Maybe not Beth," Lexi replied, a little thoughtfully. "She dies in Little Woman."
"Ah, yes. Because every Beth in existence has died since Louisa May Alcott wrote her novel," I replied teasingly.
"Shut up."
"I LOVE YOU!"
"BYE!"
"I'm fair to any flower names too. I like them," I added, before she could hang up.
"What? Like Rose?"
I shrugged even though she couldn't see me. "Or Hyacinth, or Lily, or Daisie, or Ivy... any flower names really. It's poetic."
"Are we seriously talking about baby names when the reason I called you is because my father gave me condoms I don't need?" Lexi asked me sounding amused and annoyed at the same time.
"Looooove you."
"Good night little bitch."
I grinned. "Good night Pumpkin."
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Happy Monday my little Pumpkins! <3
Sorry, I was sure I had scheduled this post, and then I didn't double check because last night was the Super Bowl and I was at my brother-from-another mother to watch it. We were all rooting for the 49ers. When they lost, he just kind of sat in the dinning room in the dark, whining about hating dynasties. It was quite entertaining.
Anyway! Yeah. Sorry for the late post. I'll remember to double check next time. XD
Did you like this chapter? I've been playing around with eventually writing a story that would be like all dialogues, and barely anything else, so this was a bit of a try-out. How do we like? Too confusing?
Alright. I have a thousand things to do today, and clearly have a late start to my day, so I'm gonna go do that now. Thanks to the kind soul on Instagram that made me notice this.
Byyyyyyye! Love you guys! See you guys soon. ;P