"Good morning!" I hear Jin say, the zipper opens up and in floods the sun into the tent. "Get up! We're going to go hiking in an hour!"
I groan. "Hyung, please."
Jin laughs lightly before saying "Okay, okay." He zips the tent back up and disappears.
I look down and Chae-rin is sleeping next to me, her back pressed against me. I wrap my arm around her, pulling her closer to me. I nuzzle my nose into the back of her neck and close my eyes, hoping to get a few more minutes of sleep. She's just so comfortable in my arms. Sure, she moves around quite a bit, but she was fine when we went to bed this morning.
I still can't believe she woke up from a dream about me. Does she think of me like that often? I knew I heard her saying my name. I was just hesitant because well, why would she be saying my name like that? Plus, I was asleep when I heard her murmuring my name in that voice. I've never had sex in a tent before... So, that was a new experience for me and I know for her too.
Chae-rin sighs in her sleep and rolls around, into my chest. Her nose brushes against my shirt and she rests her hand against one of my pecs. For someone who claims not to like cuddling, she sure does like to push her face right up against me. I think every time we've cuddled and fallen asleep, she ends up like this. She's a liar. She's a secret cuddle lover.
We lay like this for an extra twenty minutes before I decide it's time to wake her up. I do want to go on that hike and even though I know Chae-rin doesn't want to, I'm going to make her. I tap her nose lightly and she scrunches it, her eyes still closed. I let out a small smile and tap it again. She groans, rolling away from me.
"Chae-rin," I say, giving her a small kiss on the cheek. "Wake up. It's time to get ready now." My hands slip around her waist, tapping her side with my fingertips. "Wakey, wakey."
I hear her grumble and I know she's awake.
"Come on, let's go get ready," I sit up, peeking at her face.
She opens her eyes slowly and adjusts herself so she's lying flat on her back. "I'm tired," she complains. "I need more sleep."
"We're going hiking," I smile.
"No," she closes her eyes, pulling the blanket above her head.
"Yes," I chuckle, tugging it down. "Jin hyung already came to wake us up earlier." I pull her up to sit but she just leans into me instead. "Chae-rin," I snort.
"Joon, please," she buries her face into my side. "I hate hiking. You know I do."
"But it'll be fun! Come on, let's go. You haven't hiked with me in a long time." I tickle her side and she jerks away. "Please?"
"Don't," she giggles, trying to keep a stern face.
"Come on." I stand up, grabbing my hygiene items before I reach for her. "Let's go lazy butt. I think your brother is going too."
She groans. "Ugh, fine!"
---
"Alright, who is going hiking and who's staying?" Jin says.
"Yoongi, Hoseok, Soo-ya, Jimin and A-reum are staying," Soo-young says. "Everyone else is going on the hike."
"Okay, so Yoongi you guys are in charge of making us food for when we come back!" Jin laughs.
"That's fine with me," he nods.
Chae-rin had begged and begged me to stay at the campsite, but I convinced her to go with me when I told her that Eun-ha and everyone else were going too. She's busy talking with Eun-ha, probably about how the whole tent experience was for Eun-ha and Taehyung. I glance around and spot Ae-ra standing beside Soo-young. She is doing the bare minimum and yet my heart is beating so quickly from just seeing her. I gulp down as we make our way to the hiking trail.
"I am surprised that you're going on this hike," Jungkook says to Chae-rin after we make it to the trail. "You hate hiking. Right?"
"I do," she pouts. "But someone is forcing me to go." She throws a glare at me and Jungkook laughs as do I.
"You'll be fine," I tell her. "Just watch where you're going and don't fall."
"I'm not going to fall. I'm not the clumsy one. You are," she teases, sticking her tongue out. "I am multi-coordinated."
I roll my eyes, shaking my head. "Just keep your eyes ahead."
After a mile hike, Chae-rin has fallen way behind. I stay behind with her, pushing her up the trail. She is complaining the whole time, asking to go back. The elevation is killing her she says. I laugh and keep pushing her forward.
"I can't do this anymore," she whines. "My legs are so sore! They're tired!"
"We've only done one mile," I reply, amused. "The view is going to be worth it. Besides, I didn't spread your legs that wide." I laugh, throwing my head back.
Her mouth gapes open at my comment, stopping her in her tracks. When I reach her, she slaps my arm. "Can you shut up? What if someone heard?!"
"Well, then they know that we fucked in the tent," I shrug. I know no one can hear. Everyone is way ahead of us. She literally is the last person. "Come on, let's go." I reach for her hand.
"I hate hiking," she repeats for the one hundredth time today.
"Well, I hate watching scary movies but I watch them anyway because you like them. So, you should do this for me. I like hiking."
She rolls her eyes and sighs. "Fine!" She huffs, taking bigger steps.
Eventually, around mile two, we do catch up with the rest of the group. Jungkook is taking pictures of the view and he turns to Chae-rin and myself. "Say cheese!" I smile, wrapping my arms around her shoulder. He takes the photo and then looks at his camera, laughing. "Chae-rin, you're not even smiling."
He shows us the photo and I laugh too. Her brows are furrowed together, a small frown adorning her face. She's pouting in the photo but she looks cute in it. "Chae-rin, it's not-"
"Ae-ra! Are you okay?" Soo-young's voice cuts me off and my head snaps up.
Ae-ra is on the ground, her hand grasping her leg. Immediately, I run over and crouch beside her. Her eyes go wide and I assess her leg. "Are you okay? What happened?"
"Oh, uh, I just tripped over that stupid root... I'm okay, Joonie. Really." She gives me a small smile and stands up as I do, except she winces and loses her balance. I catch her quickly and she gasps as my arms wrap around her waist.
"You're not okay," I tell her.
"What happened?" Jin comes over after Soo-young grabs him. "Ae-ra, are you okay?"
"No, she's not," I answer. "I think she sprained her ankle."
Jungkook jogs over when Jin calls him over. "Can you check her ankle? You're an almost doctor, right? And a physical therapist at that."
"Yeah," Jungkook nods. His fingers barely touch Ae-ra's ankle and she's wincing again. "Oh, yeah... You definitely need to go back to the camp," he tells her.
"Yeah, okay..."
"Jin, let's take her-" Soo-young begins.
"I'll take her back," I cut her off. "Come one, Ae-ra." I get on my knees so she can get on my back.
"W-what? It's okay, Joonie. Soo-young and Jin can take me back," she replies.
"No, I'll take you back. Come on," I tug her arms so they are wrapped around my shoulder. "We need to get that iced."
"Hyung, I think should probably go with you guys too. I can check it better when we're back at the camp," Jungkook says.
"Okay, let's go," I nod. Ae-ra leans forward, pressing against my back and my heart is beating so quickly. I hope she can't feel it. I wrap my arms around her legs and hoist her off the ground.
"Joonie, I'm sorry," she whispers. "I can just-"
"No," I tell her. "I'm taking you back." I set off back down the trail and Jungkook follows behind us.
We can't talk much, well not what I want to talk about at least, because Jungkook is with us. It's okay though. I think I feel her nervousness just as much as she can sense mine. Her arms tighten around me, but her head never once rests on my shoulder. What does this mean? The silence between us is killing me, but I don't know what to say. It's slightly awkward and I hate that.
"Thank you for taking me back," she says to me. "And thank you, Jungkook, for coming back to check my ankle."
"Of course," he replies. "It's a good thing there were two doctors on that hike."
Oh shit. Chae-rin! I just left her there! Oh, fuck me... I feel bad now. I mean, I think she'd understand that of course I would rush to take Ae-ra back. It's all a part of our deal...well, is it? What everyone else saw is Chae-rin's boyfriend rushing to his ex-girlfriend's aid because she got hurt and leaving Chae-rin... Goddammit. If I had a free hand, I would definitely slap my head. I am an idiot.
"Yeah," Ae-ra agrees. "Are you almost done with school?"
"Yeah, Chae-rin and I both graduate next week," he tells her. "Then we are finally done with school forever."
"Congratulations," she replies. "Joonie, tell Chae-rin I said congratulations too."
"I will," I nod.
And that's all the conversation we have. When we get back to the campsite, everyone is a little surprised to see me carrying Ae-ra back.
"What happened?" Jimin rushes to his sister's side. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine Jiminie," she tells him. "I tripped on a raised tree root and well, yeah..."
My eyes lock with Yoongi and he looks confused for a split second, and then he's glaring at me. Great. I sigh, sitting Ae-ra down on the bench while Jimin sits next to her. Jungkook comes over with a bag of ice wrapped in a towel and places it on the bench while he assesses her ankle again.
"Thank you, hyung, for brining my sister back," Jimin tells me. "I really mean that."
"Yeah, you're welcome," I nod.
"Ae-ra, I actually think you should go get this X-rayed. I don't think it's just a sprained ankle. You might need a soft cast for a little bit," Jungkook says.
"A cast?" Both Ae-ra and I say at the same time.
"Yeah," he nods.
"Oh, uh, okay," she tells him. "Jimin, I know you wanted to-"
"I can take you back," I tell her. "I was planning to leave a little early anyway because I wanted to get some work done." What? I just lied.
"Are you sure hyung?" Jimin raises his brow.
"Yeah, I am," I nod.
Ae-ra looks at me, her brows pinched together. "Are you really? I don't want to cause any problems... I mean, I know that Chae-rin came with you and I don't want to get in between you guys."
"It's not a problem," I tell her. "She was going to ride back with her brother anyway." Oh fuck. Another lie...
Reluctantly, she nods her head. "Okay. Thank you."
I nod. "Let me just go grab my things. Jimin, can you help your sister pack her stuff?"
"Yeah," he nods. "Come on. Let's go." He helps her up and I watch as she hops back to her tent with Jimin's support.
I can feel Yoongi's eyes burning a hole into the side of my head so I avoid him altogether. I make my way to the tent and start packing my things. I'm sorry Chae-rin, but this is my chance. I have to take it, right? She would want me to. She's my best friend. I bring my things to my car, opening the trunk. As I put my duffel bag in, I hear footsteps behind me.
"You're really going to leave my sister here and leave with your ex?" I turn around and Yoongi is livid. His hands are crossed across his chest and his sharp eyes are throwing daggers at me. "Are you fucking kidding me?"
"Hyung, I would do this for anyone. She hurt herself and needs to get back to Seoul so she can get her leg checked out."
He rolls his eyes, scoffing. "Namjoon, what did I tell you about using my sister? Didn't I fucking tell you that if you were using her as a rebound, I'd fucking end you?"
"I'm not using her as a rebound," I tell him. "Hyung, please!"
"No! I'm not going to listen to your fucking bullshit excuses!" His hands move so quickly. One minute they're crossed, the next they are gripping the collar of my shirt. "You just left her during the hike? I don't fucking see her."
"Hyung!" Jungkook rushes over, breaking us apart.
"No! Let me go, Kook! He fucking deserves to get sucker punched in the fucking mouth!"
"Hyung, no!" Jungkook holds him back. "Please, don't do this. Ae-ra's ankle really is hurt and she does need to go back. We have to trust Namjoon hyung, okay?"
Yoongi sighs, looking away. "Fine!" He pulls himself away from Jungkook, taking a few steps away from me. "Namjoon, get your fucking shit together. My sister deserves better if you're still harboring feelings for your ex. If you make my sister cry, I'm telling you now, I will never approve of your goddamn relationship with her." Before I can say anything, he storms off, leaving me with Jungkook.
"Namjoon hyung, you're not doing this because you still love her, right? You'd do this for anyone, right?" Jungkook's doe eyes look at me. "You're not going to hurt Chae-rin, right?"
"No, I'm not," I tell him.
---
"Thanks again for taking me back," Ae-ra says, giving me a small smile.
It's been two hours of us on the road and we've barely said more than ten sentences to each other. Granted, she did fall asleep and just woke up a few minutes ago. The silence though... It's awkward and I feel like my heart is twisting, but I have two more hours to make up for it. I just need to know...
"Ae-ra," I say, "can we talk? Comfortably, I mean?"
"Sure," she tells me. "What about?"
Quickly, I glance at her and I see her smile disappear before I return my gaze back on the road. "Why did you break up with me so abruptly like that? What happened? Was there something that happened that I did? Is it something you saw?"
"Namjoon," she says quietly. It's rare for her to use my full name. It sounds foreign coming from her. "Please..."
"No, I need to know. You know, it killed me when you left. I have all these unanswered questions and what ifs. I just need to know. I need closure..."
She sighs and then in the smallest voice, she says, "Do you really need to know? Can't you just accept that we are broken up? I mean, you have a girlfriend! You've moved on."
"It doesn't matter," I say frustratedly. "I still deserve to know the truth, don't I?"
"I just...I fell out of love with you. I couldn't see a future with you anymore," she says quietly. "I'm sorry."
She couldn't see a future with me? My heart feels like it's being torn apart into pieces right now. It hurts so much because you know what? I saw my future with her. She was in every daydream I had of my future.
"O-oh," is all I can say.
"Joonie, I'm sorry," she murmurs. "It's just...how it happened. Please, just let it go and be happy. You look happy with Chae-rin."
"Do I?" I want to scoff because little does she know I'm doing all of this just so I can see a glimpse of her jealousy. I haven't seen anything, though. Maybe she has moved on from me.
"You do," she murmurs. "I don't deserve you."
"What does that even mean, Ae-ra? Why?" Why would she even say that? She doesn't deserve me? My heart sinks even more as something comes to my mind. "Did you...did you cheat on me?"
"What?" Her voice goes up an octave as she replies, shocked.
Oh god... Why did her tone change? Did she really cheat on me? Is that why she broke up with me so abruptly? She did, didn't she? "Y-you did, didn't you?" I try to keep my voice as calm as possible, though I feel a lump in my throat.
"Namjoon," she sighs. "Please..."
"Just tell me. I can take it." Can I? I don't know how much my heart can take any longer. I am already broken. Can I afford to break even more than I already am?
I exit out at a random exit, finding anywhere to park. I can't do this. I need to see her. I pull into a random parking lot, park the car and turn to face her. She has tears rolling down her cheeks as she softly sobs. Why is she crying? Oh fuck, she really did cheat on me. It was just a wild guess... One that I wish I didn't ask because now she's going to confirm my biggest nightmare...
"Ae-ra," my voice cracks, "d-did you?"
"I'm so sorry," she cries. "You don't deserve what I did to you...to us. I am so sorry, Namjoon."
And just like that, she has broken me even more. Where do I go from here? I am shattered into a million pieces, not knowing if I will ever be able to fix myself. How do I move on from this? How do I find my way back after knowing this? I don't even realize that I am crying until I feel the tears dropping onto my shirt.
This...this was a mistake.