I stopped by the door and looked over my shoulder to meet the professor's gaze. «What?», I asked, flashing him a smirk.
Snape was quiet then, as if he lost himself for a moment. The glint in his dark eyes made me curious, but before I got to ask once more what was on his mind he shook his head and darted for his supply closet.
«Severus, I don't have time for this», I exclaimed and rolled my eyes.
He emerged from the room like the dark shadow he was, «you must drink this», his deep voice spoke as he approached me holding a vial in his hands.
I raised my eyebrows in surprise of his demand, «I mustn't do anything», I replied and turned towards him fully, «what is it and what's in it for me?»
Towering over me he grabbed my hand and pushed it into my palm, «it'll serve to hinder your mind from exposing itself», he explained, «I don't trust your legilimency».
Lifting the vial I examined it's contents, «did you make this for me?»
«Yes», he drawled and took a step backwards, away from me.
Looking into his eyes I squinted mine slightly, «and you expect me to simply trust you? This could be anything», I said, my voice laced with suspiscion.
Snape huffed as if that had been the most foolish thing he had ever heard. «I have no other motives», he spat at me, «besides rendering you unable to go to this mindless party».
I raised an eyebrow, «just so I'd stay with you instead, you mean?»
With a blank expression he paused, as if he regretted what he'd said. Nevertheless, he went to swallow, the noise of his adam's apple bobbing breaking the sudden silence. «I suppose», he replied, his voice monotone.
The side of my lips curled in satisfaction, «simply asking would be a much wiser choice», I spoke softly, «or perhaps... begging», I added and chuckled. He glared at me, but there was a sense of hope in the way he did it. He wanted more, and it pleased me quite a lot.
I grinned, «well, bottoms up», I lifted the vial towards him before bringing it to my lips. I swallowed all of it. Gently I patted my lips with my fingers as not to ruin my lipstick again. «I have a party to go to», I smiled and winked at him, «enjoy».
Pressing the vial back into his hand I finally walked out of there, swaying my hips just a little extra.
-
I hadn't ever pictured my wedding day. Perhaps I never thought I'd marry. But the moment I stepped out into that courtyard and the boys turned to look at me — I felt it.
The way silence fell over them, and the way Blaise just stared... well, I gave a mental fuck you to the Gryffindor he had fallen for. I still had it.
«Wow, Leo», Pike grinned as he approached me and handed me a drink.
«I see you went with the flow», I teased, referring to his dementor costume. He rolled his eyes and chuckled.
«They convinced me», he murmured and walked back to the others with me. Blaise awkwardly pulled at the collar of his cape, as if he just couldn't breathe.
He cleared his throat, «you're late», he pointed out. I huffed in return and had a large sip of my drink as I maintained our eye contact. His eyes dipped to my cleavage and so I felt like I won the unofficial staring contest.
«I put some effort into my costume, Blaise», I replied and shrugged, «which is more than I can say about... others».
However, at that moment Pansy showed up. Her voice ringing in my ears as she spoke, «it's been about fourty minutes since you left our dorm», she pointed out as she stopped next to me, looking like... a cat. «You were already dressed then», she added and rolled her eyes before sitting down next to Draco on the side of the fountain.
Oops.
I felt my cheeks heat up just a bit.
«Oh really?», Blaise snarled. Vincent and Gregory giggled among themselves like young schoolgirls. I was tempted to pour my drink over their stupid heads.
«Yes, really», I snapped without thinking.
«Why did you lie?», he asked.
I let out an exasperated sigh, «it wasn't a lie. I did put in effort. Witholding information about my whereabouts the past half an hour isn't lying. Do you need me to check in with you about everything?», I growled.
His cheeks turned a shade of crimson, and I hoped I had succeeded in distracting them from the truth.
I sat down next to Pike, who had been reduced to the only person I was able to tolerate at the minute. And while the others decided to ignore the conversation we'd just had, he clinked my cup and whispered, «cheers». I nodded in acknowledgement and returned the favour. He kept his eyes on me though and smiled, «you met someone, didn't you?»
I smiled too, «a lady doesn't boast about such endeavours, Pike. But if you must know», I leaned in closer, «I was helping my sister with her costume».
He narrowed his eyes at me, but eventually nodded. «Sure», he said and chuckled, «oh, you've got something...», he lifted his hand to touch my cheek. I immediately moved away and wiped my cheek with my hand.
My cheeks felt hot as hell by then.
Pike tilted his head curiously while I tried to examine my hand as if my heart wasn't beating as hard and fast like a hippogriff's trotting.
Luckily, it was only a runaway eyelash. It prompted another memory of my childhood. I held it out in front of my face, «make a wish», I said and smiled at him.
«A wish?», he asked.
«Yeah, you can make a wish by a fallen eyelash. Didn't you know? Go ahead», I said and held it in front of him.
«Wouldn't it make more sense that you'd do it?»
I moved it closer, «doesn't matter, go on now! Make a wish and then you blow it off».
Pike rolled his eyes, but with a smile on his face he proceeded to purse his lips together to blow the eyelash off of my hand.
«What did you wish for?», I asked and had another sip of my drink.
«That'd ruin the magic of it, wouldn't it?», he pointed out.
«It's just child play, Pike», a voice murmured from his side. I leaned over and glared at him.
«That's tough coming from you, Theo», I snarled, my temper getting the best of me as he had the audacity to speak ill of something dear to my childhood memories.
Pike held out his hands between us, hoping to stop a fight from happening. «It doesn't matter», he exclaimed.
«You're quiet as a mouse most of the time, Theo. And whenever you decide to open your mouth I am confused whether it's actually your mouth or your asshole speaking. The same shit comes from it», I hissed, «if I wanted to hear from an ass I would be more inclined to listen to Gregory's farting».
The boys laughed then.
«Hey», Gregory protested, «I have IBS, don't use it against me».
Vincent looked dumbfounded. «IBS?», he stared at his friend.
Gregory's cheeks turned red, «irritable bowel syndrome», he murmured.
«The only thing irritable here is Leo», Pansy pointed out, earning smirks from Draco and Theodore.
Pike sighed, «come on guys», he glared at them, «just let it go».
«I disagree with you Leo, I think a lot of the stuff Theo says is interesting», Draco spoke up, «the other day he pointed out to me how you've been floating on a cloud».
I furrowed my eyebrows, «floating on a cloud?», I asked, my voice rough and clearly filled with annoyance.
He nodded, «yes, the extra pep in your step if you will».
«Explain yourself properly or shut up», I sneered, handing Pike my cup to fish a cigarette out of the bust of my dress. His eyes glued to my hand.
«You've been getting laid, haven't you? And it's certainly not Blaise you're fucking, we all know that», he said and laughed. Blaise's eyes burned with fury as he elbowed his friend. Pansy giggled.
That bitch. I lent her my stuff and she didn't even use it.
I placed the cigarette at my lips where the professor's cock had been only a short moment ago. I went to light it and watched as the burning glow ate away at its paper. As I inhaled I felt my nerves calm instantly. Everybody looked at me and waited for an answer to his dumb question. I exhaled.
«You're right», I simply said and noticed the curiousity heightening among them, «I'm not fucking Blaise», I added, «he's busy fucking someone else».
All attention turned to him. While his eyes fell on me. The hatred burnt strong in the glare he held till the junior Malfoy chuckled.
«Who?», he asked with raised eyebrows.
Smoke coiled around me, the sweet herbal scent making Pike interested in one as well. He elbowed me gently and held out his hand, hoping I'd share. I looked down at the one in my hand, its end coloured by my lipstick. Reaching into my dress I pulled out a new one for him. He put our cups down inbetween us before taking it from me.
Blaise's fists were clenched. I knew I shouldn't have shared that. He'd specifically told me not to. Especially not to Draco. The small sense of trust he'd had in me slowly evaporated like the smoke did around me.
«None of your business», he replied and gave me another glare, «you really are a bitch, Leo».
My eyebrows shot up in surprise, «perhaps I am. But it's not like any of you are very innocent».
Pike let out the most exaggerated sigh and lifted his cup, «I suggest a truce. Let's party and forget about the drama, please», he insisted, «cheers».
I pressed the end of my cigarette to the stone beneath me, murmuring a «whatever». The others raised their cups for Pike.
Draco shrugged his shoulders, but looked at Blaise with an arrogant smile.
-
When we finally decided to head to the Great hall, I walked behind the others with Pike next to me. Bickering and fighting in our friendgroup wasn't unusual, but despite everything I wasn't used to hiding such a big secret.
I was beginning to realise that maybe I wasn't being careful enough. It wasn't just my life and reputation on the line.
However, that wasn't going to stop me.
We entered the Great Hall. Gasps and comments like «wow» bounced between students by the sight of the decorations. It was like walking into the Forbidden Forest under the full moon.
«Good thing Lupin couldn't attend», Draco said and laughed, his minions laughing with him.
As we found our seats I turned my attention to the staffs table. An unexpected giggle erupted from my lips and I quickly caught it by covering my mouth.
«Is that Hagrid?», Pike asked, equally amused.
What appeared to be a rather huge spider sat at the end of the table. The groundskeeper had six large and long legs poking out of the back of his coat, mimicking the feared creature rumoured to live in the deepest parts of the woods.
Pansy giggled as well, «Filch doesn't need a costume, he looks horrifying as he is», she said mockingly.
The Headmaster, on the other hand, had only switched his usual attire with a darker shade. One would think he tried to look like a certain Potion's Master. Well — if he wore gowns like the old wizard, that is.
«Where's Professor Snape?», Blaise pointed out, ironically enough. I said nothing of course and kept my attention on the staff's table. It looked like Professor McGonagall had dressed like the Wicked Witch. Her skin was painted green. Actually it kind of suited her.
The others shrugged to the boy's question. «He was so angry yesterday I thought he was about to kill me», Pansy said, her voice so dramatic it made me roll my eyes, «I can imagine he's down in the dungeons grading those stupid essays he gave us extra». We hummed in agreement.
Although — I knew the truth.
Before long, a creepy melodic song began playing and a few floating lights appeared. Dumbledore took the stand and clapped his hands, silencing the entire room.
«Ah, welcome everyone», he said out loud, and unfortunately already lost my attention by then. He continued to inform about the bash, while I focused on everyone's costumes. It intrigued me to see what people had chosen, and it made me feel better seeing barely anyone truly compared to me.
Then I saw her.
Luna sat by the end of the Ravenclaw table. I hadn't spoken to her in days. She had dressed in the lion hat she'd wore once in support of Gryffindor during a quidditch game. However, this time she also had a matching outfit.
I made a mental note of checking in on her one of these days, and to perhaps keep an eye on her during the party.
Finally Dumbledore stopped speaking and the food arrived, covering the entirety of the table in front of us. My eyes widened. I hadn't realised how hungry I'd been till then.
The boys chuckled quietly as Theodore poured alcohol in his juice. The tiny bottle he used was propped up in his sleeve, masking his rulebreaking quite well.
«Do you want some?», Pike asked me and gestured towards his hand under the table. He was holding a small flask too.
I shook my head, «I think I've had enough», I replied and began eating.
-
The music was blaring, and for the first time in a long time I felt totally free and without a care in the world. This despite how I'd stopped drinking hours ago.
However, one person in particular decided to ruin that peace as he forcefully grabbed my hand and pulled me along with him. And as he pushed me behind a tapestry to see me in private, I glared at him for literally ruining my night. My mood instantly ricocheting from the happy carefree state it had previously been in.
«Why the hell did you have to say that?», Blaise hissed. I don't think I'd ever seen him that mad.
I folded my arms over my chest, «why is it such a secret? If you like her then... to hell with them», I growled back, my voice barely audible above the music.
His eyes went from fiery to saddened then, «not everyone is as unbothered as you, Leo», he said.
For reasons I wasn't ready to unpack I felt a sting in my heart by that. I frowned, «if you're quite done yelling at me I'd like to continue dancing before the night is completely ruined by your childish behaviour».
Blaise cornered me even more, «you have always cared more about yourself. You're so selfish», he yelled in my face. With the Halloween themed music blasting in the background I felt he added the horror that was missing to the otherwise jolly party.
Tears threatened to form in my eyes, but I refused to have him see that. I wasn't about to lose everything I'd built over the years just because of his dumb comments. He wasn't going to tear those walls down.
So I pushed him, «get away from me, you're drunk», I hissed. It was true. His breath reeked of it, and I assumed Granger wouldn't care much for it either.
Blaise grabbed my hand then and pulled me backwards, nearly making me trip because of my high heels. «Why are you so h-heartless, Leo?», he asked. I wasn't in the mood to fight. If I had been I would've slapped him.
Instead I yanked my hand free from his grasp, just in time for Filch's interruption.
«Oh, what have we here?», the old git sneered, his dirty teeth on show. I immediately pointed to the boy.
«He is drunk, Mr. Filch», I said with the fakest sweet voice I could muster and then I stormed off.
-
There was still a good hour or two left of the party, but Blaise had officially ruined it for me. I sprinted for the hall, making sure I didn't cause a scene as I wasn't very interested in explaining myself to anyone.
Alas, it seemed I wasn't the only one leaving early. At least that was what it seemed like as I noticed a bright green person down the hall.
«You look good, Professor McGonagall», I said, forcing a chuckle despite my bad mood. I pried the elven ears off of my own and stepped out of my heels, deciding to carry them instead.
The cat-witch turned to see who'd given her a compliment, and to say she was pleasantly surprised to see it was me would be an understatement. «Oh», she breathed, her green cheeks looking even more green, «thank you Leonie. You're looking good yourself, although I would've preferred to see you a little more covered up. There's a lot of wandering young eyes out there», she said.
«Let them», I smirked, «I only dress for myself», I added. Only then did I realise she was carrying a tray with a lid. «What's that you've got?», I asked.
The older woman raised her eyebrows and looked down at it, as if she hadn't noticed till then either. Or only just remembered it. «Oh, I have been meaning to deliver this to Severus for hours, but each time I go I am called back in. You students can be a handful», she admitted and sighed, «he isn't well».
I pretended this was new information for me, «he is? Why won't you just send the elves?»
She tutted her tongue, «oh, dear Leonie, when we aren't feeling well a friendly face is always a comfort», she said and smiled at me, hiding the fact we both knew such a thing didn't usually apply to the dungeon bat.
I chewed my bottom lip and then offered her a smile, «let me bring it to him. I know mine isn't the friendliest, but you should probably get back in there. I hate to be a blabbermouth so I won't say why», I said quickly, hoping she'd buy an offer like that from me.
«Really?», she asked me, sounding just a little surprised.
I nodded and put my shoes back on, «I'm going that direction anyway. I have had quite enough of this stupid party».
Professor McGonagall frowned, «you know, Leonie. Sharing your inner thoughts can be freeing. You should really try it some time», she suggested.
I rolled my eyes, «not this talk again, Professor».
She handed me the tray, «very well. I should get back in. I trust I'll find your friends in midst of michief».
«I said nothing», I glared at her, and she nodded in understanding. It wasn't like it would be a surprise, but I wanted to make sure we had a mutual understanding that it definitely didn't come out of my mouth.
The green wicked witch then returned quickly to the hall, her heels clicking against the cobbled floor as she walked.
-
With both my hands occupied I wasn't able to knock, so I tried to do so with my feet. They'd become sore throughout the evening, and I was already dreaming of taking the shoes off again.
The door opened despite my bad attempt, and I slipped inside, careful not to spill whatever the witch had packed for the professor who «wasn't feeling well».
Anyone who'd enter his office at that time wouldn't have been able to guess that though. Because he looked exactly the same. Sitting by his desk, his dark hair framing his face as he leaned over his work. The quill moved fast, as if he was in a rush.
«Brought you some stuff», I spoke up. He hadn't looked up yet, but was startled to hear my voice. He wasn't expecting me.
Putting his quill down he stared at me with a look I could only decipher as defensiveness. And I understood him completely. I hadn't been easy to read lately.
«Thank you», he drawled, «you can put it over there», with minimal effort he pointed to a table.
I did as told and then finally took my shoes off again. I sighed in relief and examined the red skin.
«Entirely too tall», Snape murmured, having returned to not looking at me. I ignored it. His quill back into full speed mode. It disappointed me, honestly.
The best thing would've been for me to leave. I wasn't in the right mindset to be in his presence. It wouldn't be fitting for the agreement we had.
But unfortunately there wasn't anywhere else I wanted to be.
«Are you very busy?», I eventually asked, my voice nearly breaking at the end of it. I cleared my throat and flipped my hair over my shoulders.
Snape didn't look up this time either. I wondered if our little «session» earlier had been enough, and now he didn't care for my attention. His deep voice spoke up, «I would've had less work to do had you all simply done your homework properly».
Never beg, Leo, I reminded myself.
I forced a smile even though he couldn't see it, «good night then, Severus», I said, knowing using his first name would differentiate the roles we had.
And as anticipated — or perhaps hoped — he put his quill down and looked up at me. «Was it a good night?», he asked. It was a bit out of character for him, but I appreciated it nonetheless, weirdly enough.
«No», I admitted, «I'm not going back».
As if choosing his words wisely he took some time before he replied, «may I ask your plans for the rest of the night?»
It was wrong. The timing wasn't right, nor was my mood. But regardless of how many times I told myself that, I couldn't help it.
«Would it be awful if I wanted to stay?», I asked, hoping he didn't sense the vulnerability in my voice. Fuck you Blaise.
Snape lifted his chin. His eyes took in all of me for a moment. And then he parted his lips to speak, but nothing came out as if someone had muted him. I was thinking of leaving just then, when he finally decided on an answer, «only as awful as my interest in you doing so, I suppose».
I looked at him and didn't really know what to say, «and what does that mean? It's awful, but it's fine?»
«Are you intoxicated?», Snape suddenly asked, making me sigh and pick up my shoes.
«No, I had a few drinks, but that was hours ago», I replied and shrugged, «but I get it, it's not a good idea».
«None of this ever was», he said slowly.
«You know that I know that», I pointed out.
Snape stood up from his chair and gently pushed it back in. I observed him curiously. «Let's set some rules», he murmured.
I raised my eyebrows in surprise, «we already have rules».
«Whatever this is it isn't what we agreed on», Snape began, «let's not make things worse».
I nodded and let out another sigh, «I'll just leave. This was just stupid of me». A line of profanities filled my mind as I pointed to the tray I'd brought, «I don't know what's in there, but I assume it's food. You should eat some. Good night».
«Don't go», he demanded and stayed quiet till my gaze met his once more. He knew I wasn't in a good mood. I could see it. «Tell me what you need», he added.
I don't know.
«Just...», I ran my fingers over my face, not caring if I'd ruin my makeup in the process, «just one night of no worries, no thinking, no questions — no rules».
Snape thought about my request and then finally he nodded, «just one night», he agreed.