|Jennie|
Mom stands at the foot of the stairs in the Hayhurst mansion. "Thank you, everyone, for an amazing day. Dinner will be served in an hour, and after that, I understand the bridal party has some plans for the evening."
"Hmm, what could we possibly do with an hour?" Jisoo asks, eyes dancing and all over me.
"It'll have to be a quick nap," Nayeon whispers to us. She grabs Liam's hand and races up the stairs.
Jisoo grins. "What do you say?" She asks, her voice low and husky. "Quick nap?"
My heart races and my stomach flips. I'm not sure what would've happened if Jin hadn't knocked on the door, but judging by the way Jisoo was kissing me, I know we weren't done. I'm realizing that when it comes to her, I'm not done with anything but lying to myself. I'm sick of pretending I don't want more.
"We should at least go . . . freshen up," I say, my voice a little high-pitched. Because hell.
She winks at me, and we're halfway up the stairs when my phone buzzes. I almost ignore it except . . . except this is my sister's weekend, and if she needs me or if my mom needs me to do something for her, she has to come first.
I pull it from my purse to look at the text. The picture there makes me freeze, one hand gripping the railing as the other grips my phone. Without thinking, I scan the faces in the lobby until I find Kai. He's grinning at me, and the anticipation that was flip-flopping my stomach moments ago turns to dread. He must have gotten a new number if this was from him.
Jisoo grazes her knuckles over my shoulder. "Are you okay?"
No. I'm not okay. Why does Kai even have these pictures? "Excuse me," I murmur.
I race up the stairs to our room, fumbling with the key at the door before closing myself in the bathroom. I slide down the wall, put my head in my hands, and try to remember how to breathe.
The soft rap of knuckles and then: "Jennie?" Jisoo's voice. Soft. Soothing. Worried.
I flinch. "I'm okay. I think maybe I . . . maybe I had too much bar food today." I bite my lip, hating the lie.
"Anything I can do?"
"No. I just need a minute. I'm sorry."
"You don't need to apologize." She sighs heavily, and I imagine her closing her eyes. She knows me well enough that I'm sure she's not buying my lie. Hell, a few minutes ago, I was ready to come up here and jump her, and now I'm hiding in the bathroom.
I was an idiot to think Kai wouldn't find a way to get to me this weekend. I was an idiot who convinced myself I wanted Jisoo to save me from Kai, when the real thing I need to be saved from is my own mistakes.
••••••••••
|Jisoo|
With the exception of those held in honor of my brothers, bachelor parties aren't exactly my thing. And a bachelor party full of strangers is high on my list of activities I'd rather avoid.
I was hoping I'd get a pass, but Liam found me after dinner and insisted I join them. Even though I am a woman, I didn't really fit with Nayeon and her friends so Liam kindly asked me to join them when I said I would just stay in my room. With a broad smile and a smack on the back, he said he'd be disappointed if I didn't go. I like the guy, so honestly, that would have been enough, but I also figured that if I were really Teagan's girlfriend, I wouldn't hesitate to be kind in return.
So here I am, at the back of Kim Brews with a handful of strangers. Jennie's dad joined us for a drink then excused himself—no doubt wanting to spare himself any inappropriate conversation that might include his daughter and future son-in-law. Liam's dad is here, but he's content to sit at the bar and grill Jin on the science behind the perfect IPA.
The good news is that the party seems to be nothing more than hanging at my family's bar playing poker. The bad news is I managed to find myself seated right next to Kai.
"Jennie seemed upset at dinner," Kai says, eyes on his cards. "Is everything okay?"
I bite back my scowl. "She's great. Why would you say that?" Or she was great until someone sent her a text that upset her—a text she wouldn't even talk to me about. She was distant the rest of the evening, claiming she wanted a shower before dinner and then avoiding my gaze all through the meal.
Did he send the text? Is that why he has that knowing smirk on his face?
"Oh, I know Jennie, and she definitely was not fine. In fact, she seemed pretty distressed. I would've thought you'd . . ." Kai's jaw drops, and I turn in the direction of his stare as Soojoo slides into my lap.
"Hey, you!" She wraps her arms behind my neck and nuzzles my ear. "How are you? God, I've missed you this last week. Maybe I wouldn't have but that conference was a drag, and I miss our dirty texts, and I've been dying to talk to you and here you are. What do you say we get out of here?"
"Soojoo." I push her away gently. "You're drunk."
"Does it matter?" She giggles. Kai is watching everything. She wiggles in my lap, and I scoot my chair back to stand, forcing her to her feet too.
"We aren't doing this anymore, remember?" I say softly.
Soojoo's lips curve into a pout, and I can see the moment the memory registers in her drunken brain. Her eyes fill with tears. "You didn't really explain. I know this wasn't supposed to be serious, but it always felt like more than just fun to me."
Now the whole damn table is watching us. Kai looks cocky as hell, and Liam's brow crinkles as his gaze bounces between me and Soojoo.
"Can we go outside and talk?" I ask softly.
Soojoo nods, her chin wobbling, and I lead her outside.
The night is cool but still warm enough that downtown is bustling with people enjoying the last weeks of balmy weather before winter comes. "Come back here," I say, nodding down the alley. We'll talk in the back where there are fewer eyes.
"I'm such an idiot," she says, sniffing beside me. "God, it's no wonder you don't want to really be with me if I get drunk and forget important things, like Hey, that asshole dumped you."
I tilt my face to the sky and make myself process her words.
Asshole.
Dumped.
Soojoo knew the score. She knew I was seeing other people. Knew I didn't want anything serious. But it doesn't matter, and I should've known this would happen.
"I'm sorry, Jisoo." She sniffs and wipes away her tears. "Shit. I'm so sorry."
"Soojoo. . ." I squeeze her shoulder, and she leans into me, placing her head on my chest. "I'm the one who owes you an apology. I should've waited until you got back into town to tell you about Jennie and me. I handled it badly, and I'm sorry."
"I don't understand why she gets more and I'm only good for . . ." She sniffs then straightens, wiping her cheeks. "Damn it, I'm so pathetic."
"You're not. And I am sorry."
"I really didn't mean to fall for you." She lifts her chin as if she's grappling to find her pride. "We're friends, and we were never supposed to be more. You never led me to believe otherwise. But I . . . wanted to."
"I'm really sorry." I could repeat myself a hundred times, but the words aren't enough. I never meant to hurt her, but saying so now makes me sound like a massive cliché. Like I'm just an ass who's delivering lines to get himself out of trouble.
"So . . . Jennie?"
I nod, and my stomach knots. "Yeah." For now. And maybe not even that. This afternoon felt like it was about more than pleasure, more than getting off, but when she got that text, she shut me out. For months I've been dodging anything that resembled commitment, but suddenly I'm getting this ache in my gut when I imagine letting Jennie go. It doesn't matter if this weekend is pretend. I already know it'll hurt to see it end. Months messing around with Soojoo and Bethany and I was never tempted, but a couple of days pretending with Jennie and I already wish I knew how to make it real.
Soojoo drops her gaze to her shoes. "I know it sounds pathetic to ask, but what about her made you change your mind about relationships?"
"She's . . ." Fucking amazing. Fun. Sexy as hell. And sweet in the most surprising ways. And this morning when she asked about my nightmare, I thought maybe she really might understand what I've been going through. "I've been carrying a torch for Jennie for a long time, and once she gave me a chance, I knew I didn't want to let her go."
Soojoo nods. "I'm so lonely, Jisoo. Maybe you and I aren't a love match, but sometimes I think I'm not going to be a love match with anyone, and that is a really crappy feeling."
Her words are a blow to the chest. I know what that feels like. I was searching for someone special for years before I changed my ways. Being alone and wondering if I'd ever find someone to spend my life with sucked, and I hate that I'm making Soojoo feel that. She's my friend and I care about her, but right now it's pretty clear that I should have been more careful with her feelings. "You're incredible, Soojoo." I blow out a breath and drag a hand through my hair. "In fact, I work with a couple of guys who have been hounding me for your number. Hank, in particular, really likes you."
She smiles slowly and looks up at me through her lashes. "Seriously?"
"Seriously."
I swear she stands a little taller. "You could give Hank my number. I mean . . . if that wouldn't be too weird for you." She blows out a breath. "But only if he's looking for a relationship. I think this thing with you taught me something about myself."
"I'll make sure. And I'll make sure he knows that you're an important friend to me, so he'd better not hurt you—not that I'd set you up with anyone I thought might intentionally hurt you."
"You're a really good person, Jisoo." She squeezes my arm. "I hope Jennie knows how lucky she is."
"Eh, I'm the lucky one in that relationship."
She shakes her head, her hair swaying across her shoulders. The tear tracks drying on her cheeks glisten in the light from the street lamps. "See what I mean? That's something a good person would say." She lifts onto her toes and presses a kiss to my cheek. "I'll see you around."
I grab her hand before she can walk away. "Soojoo, wait."
She shakes her head. "Don't make this harder."
"No . . . I wanted to say thank you. For everything."
Her eyes are full of tears, but none fall. "You're the worst kind of heartbreaker, Jisoo."
I flinch. "I don't mean to be."
"I know. That's exactly what makes you the worst. This would be easier if I could hate you. Even a little." She pulls her hand from my grasp and jogs down the alley to the front of the building.
I lean back against my car and close my eyes.
"Did you mean it?"
I open my eyes to my brother, who's walking toward me with his hands tucked into his pockets. I tense. I'm not ready for another lecture. Even if I fucking deserve it. "Mean what?" I ask warily.
"Everything you just said about Jennie." Jin takes the spot beside me. We're shoulder to shoulder, both looking up at the sky. "I'll be honest—after you two disappeared upstairs earlier, I was worried, but you sounded sincere."
"I am." My voice cracks. "I've felt something for her for a long time, but I don't know what to do about it."
"You could try telling her."
Jin and I turn to see Rosie stepping out of the shadows by her car two spots down. Fucking seriously?
I sigh, exasperated but resigned. Never was there a better metaphor for my entire life than trying to have a private conversation and discovering two of my siblings witnessed it. "Is my entire family spying on me, or just the two of you?"
Jin holds out his palms. "I was taking out the trash."
I turn to Rosie. "What's your excuse?"
"I wasn't trying to eavesdrop, but you were dragging Soojoo into the alley when I got here, and I decided not to leave my car until you two were done talking."
I sigh. I don't really care that they both heard. I'm more upset with myself. How did my life become such a mess that I thought I was single and yet this week has felt like a series of bad breakups?
"Why don't you, though?" Jin asks softly. "Tell
Jennie, I mean."
"Trust me, I've dropped a couple of significant hints today."
Rosie snorts. "Idiot. Women don't like hints. We like kindness and consideration, but you still have to be direct. Believe it or not, we don't like sitting around and dissecting what men have said to us."
I swallow hard. I was the one to tell her only four days ago that I don't do relationships, that I had nothing to offer beyond a friends-with-benefits arrangement. And she was with me on that. "She has no desire to be with someone like me."
"A player?" Jin says at the same time as Rosie says, "A whore?"
"A firefighter," I growl. I roll my shoulders back. "She was in love with a police officer who died on a bad traffic call. She's got a thing against guys with dangerous jobs." I turn to Shay. "Did she ever tell you about Taehyung?"
"Taehyung?" My sister frowns and shakes her head. "That name doesn't ring any bells."
I hope Jennie won't mind me asking, but it's weird that she wouldn't tell Rosie, one of her best friends, about a man she thought she'd marry. "What about Kai?"
"He's the ex she wanted you around because of, right?" Shay asks.
I nod. "Yeah, but do you know anything about him?"
"No, not really." She takes the spot opposite Jin, and we all lean against my car, in no hurry to get inside. "It's weird, now that I think about it. An ex bad enough to merit a fake girlfriend at her sister's wedding, and yet she's never talked about him."
"I met him inside," Jin says, shrugging. "He seemed okay."
I grunt. "Her whole family loves him, and he seems nice enough, but . . ."
"But what?"
I cut my eyes to my sister. "I swear this isn't a typical case of ex avoidance. I have a bad feeling about him. It's like he's too nice. Too much of everything her parents want him to be. And I think . . ." I shake my head, trying to piece it together—Jennie's terror when Kai was in town, the way he seems to still know her so well even though they haven't dated since high school, and the text she got today. The way she immediately looked at him afterward and then shut me out. "She's scared of him."
"Think he was abusive?" Jin asks.
"That's the only thing I can come up with," I say. "She's admitted he was very controlling, so it's logical he may have been physical about that need to control her. But even that doesn't completely make sense. Why wouldn't she tell her parents? Or at least her sister?"
"Why don't you ask her?" Rosie asks.
"Because when I agreed to do this for her this weekend, she made me promise I wouldn't ask about Kai."
Jin lets out a long breath and squeezes my shoulder. "I need to get back in there before Cindy threatens to cut my dick off again, but let me know if I can do anything to help."
"I'm going in too," Rosie says.
I arch a brow. "Girls' night tonight?"
"No. I'm avoiding the dissertation."
"Ah, yes, I hear that's the best way to finish it."
She smacks my arm. "Shut up. Writing is hard."
I laugh and wrap an arm around her shoulders, squeezing her. As crappy as I feel about what happened with Soojoo, I'm glad I got a chance to talk to Jin and Rosie tonight. I needed that.
We all head in together through the back door. Rosie and I cut through the kitchen and leave Jin to deal with the latest food order while we make our way out to the bar.
"I have to return to the bachelor party," I tell my sister.
"Godspeed," she says, winking.
"Everything okay?" Liam asks when I return to the group.
"Yeah. I think it's all worked out."
"Was she an ex, or . . .?" He looks concerned, and I can't blame him. If a woman had acted that way with him, I'd feel like I had to get that information to Nayeon somehow.
"You don't have to look so tormented. Jennie knows Soojoo, and I'll tell her about what happened."
"I think Kai might beat you to it."
I follow Liam's gaze to the front of the bar, where Kai is pushing through the doors. When he hits the sidewalk, he turns right, not getting a cab but heading down the street—toward the dance club where the girls are supposed to be spending their night. He'll be able to tell Jennie whatever he wants while I'm stuck here. Fucking fantastic.
But maybe it doesn't matter if Kai is going to the girls' party.
I turn to Liam. "You know what I want to do?"
"What?"
"I want to find our women and spend the rest of the night with them." I arch a brow. "Can you honestly tell me you want to sit here and play cards when your fiancée is dancing at a club only two blocks away?"
"A woman after my own heart." He smacks me between the shoulder blades. "I'll tell the others."
••••••••••
To be continued 😉