I have decided to start keeping a journal during my time in prison . It's a way to help me feel something for more than one minute . I need to be able to write my thoughts down like I used to . I enjoyed writing , I enjoyed using my imagination but for now I'm not using any imagination , it's all true .
Time slowly goes by , people say it gets easier but does it ? I mean how could bring in prison get easier ? I suppose I could be in a maximum security prison for attempted murder but I'm lucky , really lucky . I beat up an innocent girl , for someone I thought I loved . I truly don't know the meaning of the word , I don't think anyone does , it's a feeling that can hold so many different definitions .
Today they are serving tacos . I mean I haven't ate of one those since I was sentenced , I ate as much food as I possibly could on the break before they told me I was going to jail , I tried to savour every food I loved , yet here they are making tacos . Well this is as exciting as my prison day is going to get .
"What you doing ?" Alex asked taking me from my thoughts
"Writing a journal" I laughed
"What do you honestly have to write about?" Alex asked
"My feelings , my shit, boring days" I scoffed
"And your new girl" Alex winked
"What?" I said chocking on my saliva
"Stella and you , I saw you both yesterday. You both looked friendly" Alex laughed
"She's my friend , that's it" I laughed
"I was too remember"
"That's forgotten about , we swore to never bring that up!" I said blushing
"Bring what up?" Piper asked walking into our cube
"Nothing" I said standing up and leaving
Great now I have nothing to do , except walk around or go to the TV room or speak to John if he's here . As I walk down the corridor I saw Dayanara walk out a closet so I stopped and hid behind the corner . She then chapped the door and walk away really fast . A minute later John walked out . Oh the sleek little shit .
"Bennett" I said in my deepest voice and he turned in my direction and he looks terrified , his face was pale white
"Oh my god , you should see your face right now , it's priceless" I laughed and I mean laughed for real, for the first time in a while
"Dana , not fucking cool, I could send you to schuh for that!" John said
"You're missing a button" I continued laughing
"Walk away " he growled
"I can't , your face is priceless . You have made this torturous week a little more exciting"
"You can't say anything about what you just saw!" John said
"Chill , who would I tell?" I asked
"You can't even say any of this to an inmate !" John said and his tone was serious
"I'm not going to say anything for fuck sake , did you not hear me the first time!" I shouted a little
"That's a shot"
"What?" I said baffled
"For shouting at a guard, get back to your dorm!" John said raising his voice
"You really want to give me a shot , right now?" I asked
"Keep walking Dana"
Was I fuck going to end up with another shot or put in schuh because Bennett and his bipolar attitude . Seriously I was only trying to joke around but mister pissy boots had to take it to far .
"What's up with you?" Stella asked as i walked by her
"I got a fucking shot for having a laugh with Bennett" I scoffed
"What for?"
"If I told you he would find a way to get me put in max so I'm going to leave out the details and say he's a asshole" I said feeling my anger boil up
"I mean who the fuck does he think he is. How dare he give me a shot for laughing . I have to find him and give him a piece of my mind , smash his head into walls while I'm at it" I said my anger rising and rising
"I think you should calm down" Stella said
"Who are you to tell me that" I laughed
"I'm your friend and I don't want you getting sent to max for beating up a guard" Stella said placing her hands on my shoulders "look at me , take deep breaths , slowly"
My eyes were locked on hers and my breathing slowed , not as quick as what was intended . For some reason Stella could calm me down , no one has ever been able to take me out of my angry state , I would always hit a wall or something to lower the rage but with Stella my rage disappeared with a touch .
"Are you ok now?" She asked
"A little" I smiled as my breathing was now at a steady pace
"Let's go watch some TV or play some cards" Stella said placing her arm around my shoulder as we made our way to the TV room
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Aw I like this chapter for some strange reason !
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