I pace the length of my balcony, sipping whiskey, while I wait for Nick to return. My mind is deafening with all of the ways this could go wrong. I pray I didn't make this worse for Noah. Michael had to let him into the Blue, if I did nothing else, I would help Noah save his brother.
I watch the minutes countdown, checking my phone every minute to see how long it's been, time was passing so slowly it feels like it's stopped. I drink glass after glass of whiskey, numbing myself while I wait.
It's been half a day when Nick finally gets back.
He stands in my living room, looking worse than when he left. His face softens when I rush to him, my whiskey forgotten on the railing of the balcony. His hands grip my shoulders, I haven't said anything yet, but he knows what I want to know. What I need to know.
"It was a good plan, Briar, but it didn't go the way it was supposed to," he relays, his face blanching.
"What happened, Nick? Is he okay? Did he save his brother?"
Nick looks crestfallen as he pushes me to sit on the sofa, my heart drops out of my stomach and bile rises, something is wrong. So very wrong.
"Spit it out, Nick, what happened?"
"Michael tried to let him into the Blue, but the Creator wouldn't allow it," Nick shakes his head, "Noah's brother was executed in front of all of us, as an example."
"No," I whisper, Noah did so much to help him for the Creator to kill him anyway.
"That's not all, I'm afraid," he starts, and I don't think I can take any more. I can't bare to think of how much Noah is hurting. "He cast him to the Abyss, where Lucifer is still furious about Lilith."
"No," I repeat. "No, this was supposed to fix everything, how is it worse now?"
I brush past him, I don't know what to do. I take long strides across my apartment, this was my hail Mary, I have nothing left. There are no more tricks, I've failed him.
"Calm down," Nick says, catching up with me.
"Don't tell me to calm down!" I shout at him, tears blur my eyes as I stare up at him, "Tell me how to fix it, but don't you tell me to calm down. This is the worst thing that could have happened!"
"Noah can handle himself in the Abyss, he's been there since the beginning of time. Just don't do anything stupid, Briar, you still have a job to do."
"You think I'm going to sacrifice myself now? You have lost your mind, I'm not doing a fucking thing for the Creator! If he wants to make examples, Nick, he's going to get one!"
"You'd let Allison die because you are mad?" he challenges, I had forgotten the other part of the Annihilation. If I don't make the sacrifice, everyone on the planet will die. I feel my face drop and I know I can't back out, if for nothing else than to save her.
"No, of course not," I say finally, my voice barely above a whisper.
"It's not over, Briar, just a set back," he says gently.
I hear the words he's saying, but I can't help but think I can't actually count on him. I was going to have to figure this out on my own. I needed to get away from him and I needed to figure out how to get in contact with Cassiel, he would help me help Noah.
I just had no idea how to get to him. Could I reach anyone from the Gray? I knew I could meet with Noah and Lilith, but could I figure out how to get to someone I didn't know? Nick said it wasn't over, and he was right. I was going to get Noah out of the Abyss. I couldn't bring his brother back, but I could bring him back.
___
I watch Lucifer's arm rear back, but I don't feel anything when the blow lands on me. Watching the Creator execute my brother drained all of the senses out of me. I close my eyes, all I can see is Briar. She is the only thing I have left to live for.
"Just tell me where she is, Sebastian!" spit flies from Lucifer's mouth as he demands to know where Lilith is. I couldn't tell him where she was without putting Briar in danger, so I don't say anything. I look at him from my right eye, my left is swollen shut, my blood stains his knuckles.
I spit blood out at his feet. I take another blow to my jaw and my head turns with the violence, still I turn back to look him in the eye, gritting my teeth. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of begging him to stop. He hits me again and the world goes black around me.
___
I tell Nick I'm going to make it an early night and climb into bed without bothering to change my clothes. I didn't know if this was going to work, but it was all I had and I was going to give it everything.
I fall asleep instantly, the whiskey helping me to the Grey. I walk and walk and walk, all the way back to the back corner where Lilith is still walled up in my mind. Where she would stay as long as I was alive. I climb to the top of the box and I pull out one of the bricks. Lilith is red with anger as she tries to reach up and pull me into the box.
"How do I contact Cassiel?" I demand from her, I would figure it out on my own if I couldn't get her to help me.
"I'm not telling you anything, you bitch!" she spits at me.
"No- Sebastian is in trouble, he's my only hope. If you love him tell me how to get to Cassiel," I plead with her, I doubt she truly loved him but I needed her help.
"I'm not going to help you do anything! The worst trouble he can get into is being sent to the Abyss, I will just join him there when you die human," I can barely see the beginning of a smirk in the dark box.
"Tell me how to get to Cassiel," I demand again.
"No."
I channel the same thoughts that I used to build the box around her and water falls from the sky into the box. Lilith shrieks as the water starts to fill up the space she's trapped in. Once the water fills to her knees I ask her again, "Tell me how to get to Cassiel."
"Fuck off!" she seethes, the water continues to fill. It's the first time I've seen her look anything but perfect. Her eyeliner is smeared under her eyes and her hair is plastered to her hair.
"Tell me, Lilith," I call to her again when the water has reached her waist.
"I will never help you," she spits, water seeping into her mouth as she speaks.
I let it continue to fill, over her stomach, up to her chest, all the way up to her neck. I watch her stretch to avoid her head going under.
"This is your last chance," I tell her, "but know I won't kill you here, not with the chance you will join him in the Abyss. I will just keep drowning you over and over and over until it drives you mad."
"You are supposed to be the light to his dark!" She sputters at me around the water.
"I'm trying to save him, help me save him," I plead, tears streaming down my face.
___
It's times like these when I wish I could die. Lucifer punches me again, I've lost count of how many times he's hit me. I keep healing, and he keeps tearing me apart. There is no end to the cycle.
"Sebastian, if you don't tell me where Lilith is, I will send someone else to get the girl. An eye for an eye, since this clearly isn't working," he threatens with the one thing that will make me pause. I know Nick is with her now and even though I know his loyalties wane depending on his mood, I know he will keep her safe.
He just better keep his hands to himself.
"You'll never get to her," I smile, spitting the blood out of my mouth onto the black marble floor.
"You underestimate me, Sebastian," he taunts, hitting me again.
"Word on the street is you've gone soft," I grin as he punches me in the stomach, clenching my abs to protect myself from the blow.
"I'm going to show you soft, Sebastian," he threatens, pulling my own Katana from the Saya.
I hiss as he drags the blade across my torso, my muscles won't protect me from the sting on the blade. In quick succession he cuts my Achilles tendon, driving me to my knees, before he draws a line across my throat. The burn of the cuts is too much and I lose consciousness again.
___
"Holy shit, how are you here?"
It takes a moment for the world to stop spinning, I'm still in the Grey, I'm not really here. Lilith finally agreed to give me instructions to get to Cassiel, but I bricked her back up as soon as I got the information.
"I need help," I pant, trying to right myself. I am finally able to open my eyes, but I regret it instantly. Cassiel is not alone and I wish I could have knocked.
"Sebastian?" he guesses.
"So everyone knows he's in trouble but no one is doing anything to help him?" I growl at him. These people are supposed to be his friends.
"I know you don't know this, human, but we have rules. Rules that are so binding that they can't be broken, I can't do anything," he tells me, "but I can tell you how to help him."
"Tell me, time is running out," I demand, I know the dawn is fast approaching, but I don't know what is happening to him in the Abyss.
"There's a demon that grants wishes. Anything you want, but you have to be precise in your wording. You can get his freedom from Lucifer, but know he's not going to be happy when he finds out."
"How do I find him?"
"You can find him the same way you found me," he says vaguely, "the price for the wish is steep."
"I don't care what it is," I tell him, not bothering to tell him goodbye.
I don't go back to the Grey, I'm waking up. Nick is towering over me as my eyes squint open, "you've been busy," he accuses.
"What are you going to do about it?"
"Nothing," he shrugs, "I can help you with transport."
"What do you mean?"
"I can take you to the wish demon," he tells me, making himself comfortable at the end of my bed.
"News travels fast with the lot of you," I huff, pulling my comforter over my head.
"I followed you to Cassiel, stupid human," he grumbles under his breath. "I am still your guardian."
Nick was going to help me save Noah, I didn't know why or what his motives were, but I had him on my side. I knew Noah was going to be furious with me, but I didn't care. He would be alive and I would have to sell my soul to this demon in exchange for his freedom, but it would be worth it. My fate was sealed, but his didn't have to be.
"I'm ready to go now," I tell Nick, climbing out of the bed.
"How about you put on clothes first?" he gestures wildly at my long t-shirt, Noah's shirt.
I walk to my closet and slide leggings on under the shirt and slip my slides on my feet. "Let's go, we don't have time for this."
Nick takes my hand and we are splitting the air, teleporting straight to the destination instead of traveling like mere mortals. I vomit the second we land, luckily we are outside and I didn't just puke on the wish demon when I need his help.
"Weakling," Nick scoffs, pulling my hair away from my face. The world is spinning too much for me to come up with a witty retort, instead I spit a final time and straighten myself, finally feeling the earth stop moving. "Come on, stay by my side."
I do as he says, sticking close to his side. Wherever we are it's cold here, our feet crunch against snow as we make our way to the demon. I'm surprised the demons don't exclusively like warm weather, but what do I know? It's dark here and I can't see my way, but I feel Nick brush against me every other step and I know he's still here with me. Butterflies danced in my stomach, with fear and with hope simultaneously.
Nick finally stops in front of a tiny cabin, it's inviting with the warm glow from the windows and the billow of smoke trialing steadily from the chimney. It's like a fairytale, but Grimm's fairytale because I know what awaits me is not wholesome.
The door swings open before we step onto the porch, a tall man with dark hair and bright purple eyes steps on the porch. His thin lips curl into a devious grin as he takes in the sight of us, leather pants adorn his legs and he isn't wearing a shirt or shoes.
"Did you bring a pet for me, Nicholas?"
"Over my dead body, Joakim," Nick calls up to him, there's warning in his voice, but the man just laughs.
"A soul then," his eyebrow quirks up as he skips down the steps, the snow melts at his feet when he steps onto the lawn. The closer he gets the more I can feel heat coming off of him, his long fingers take a lock of my hair in his hands. I jerk away from him and his hand falls, his eyes flash bright purple.
"A wish," Nick corrects, putting his body in between us.
"Same thing," the wish demon shrugs, his eyes glistening over Nick's shoulder. "What can I help you with?"
Nick touches my face and I hear his voice inside of my head, I am confused for a moment when I don't see his lips moving. Be careful of your wording, you have to say what you want in the most literal terms and don't leave anything out. If he can, he will trick you.
I nod at him once, imperceptibly. I take a moment and think of everything I want and recite the words over and over before I finally say them out loud, "I want you to release Noah from Lucifer's hold right now, with no consequences, indefinitely."
"You aren't making any friends with the Blue or the Abyss are you?" he grins, "I'll grant your wish, but it's going to cost you."
"What are your terms?"
"It's simple, really, I just want a piece of your soul."
I suck in a sharp breath and turn to Nick, I can tell he knows this was the price. I decide I don't care if he takes the whole thing, I was going to save Noah.
"Deal," I say.
The wish demon comes closer, and Nick allows it this time. His large hand wraps around my neck, lifting me off the ground and I can't breathe as I kick my legs desperately trying to reach the ground.
"Is this necessary?" I hear Nick ask around the pounding in my ears.
"Nah, but it makes it more fun for me," Joakim tells him with a sinister grin, when I begin to black out he drops me and I fall in a heap on the cold snow.
Nick helps me stand up and I press my hands to my neck, "is it done?"
"Sebastian will be joining us any moment now," the wish demon says, and I hear steps in the snow.
I turn and I am horrified by what I see, there are cuts all over Noah's skin. Fresh blood is layered over dried blood, one of his eyes is swollen shut, his hair is matted. A strangled sob escapes my mouth as I run to him, I want to touch him but I am afraid to touch him. He closes the distance and crushes me to his chest. My tears mix with the blood on his torso and it's gruesome.
"What did you do, angel?"
"What I had to do," I whisper and his mouth crashes against mine. His blood and my tears mix on my tongue in a tangy, salty mix, but I don't care. I had Noah back and nothing else mattered. All of the other problems we still had to face didn't matter.