Delirium Houzz had become a popular spot for us to go to. And after realizing we were with Ryan we haven't had a problem with having to wait in line either. The music filled my ears as I stared at the bar top. I was drawing circles with my finger as I kept thinking back to earlier today.
Grieving is like a rollercoaster because just when you think it's over...
"Hello earth to Martha." I looked up to see Lori waving her hand in my face.
I sat up a little straighter to give her my attention, "Oh sorry"
"Where did you just go?"
I sighed, "Is it that obvious?"
"Considering you didn't hear a single word I said about my date last night...yea." She gave a light hearted chuckle to let me know it was okay.
Lori continued to stare at me intently. "What? Is something wrong?"
"No...well yes...you just look exhausted."
I scoffed at the obvious observation, "That's because I am... emotionally anyway, so sorry for the lack thereof in my tone."
Lori placed her hand on top of mine, her thumb giving very reassuring and trusting strokes, "Talk to me. I know when we first met up I said I wouldn't pry and just let you do your thing. If that is still the case then I'll be here but I know you."
I sighed giving the bar top a tight lip smile as I debated. "It'll make you feel better." She sang; a light chuckle left me as I knew she was right.
"Well it didn't go how the others did."
"And that's...bad? I only ask because the other sessions haven't exactly ended in sunshine and rainbows."
I nodded in agreement, "True. This time didn't end in sunshine and rainbows either."
"So how was it different?" She asked as she took a sip of her drink through her straw.
"There was a moment when Jonathan had to leave the room and Dr. Salner was just very insightful about...you know... the process of grief and everything."
"And before that?"
"Well you know, we talked about what happened the night of family dinner, how he kissed me and how I told Jonathan I wanted a divorce."
"Mhmm."
"Lori," The conversation just kept going through my head, "I was practically begging him to let me go. Yet, I found myself getting mad when I found him on the phone with Jackie, I mean I can't have it both ways here."
"Well you said Dr. Salner was insightful about grief. What did he say?"
"He said it was like a rollercoaster."
"That's perfect! It's only been a couple of months babe, you are allowed to still feel some type of way toward his contact with the woman."
The sound of a glass being placed in front of me grabbed my attention. I looked up seeing a bartender giving a small smile. "This is from the guy over there."
Lori and I quickly looked in the direction he was pointing. The guy looked familiar, yet I couldn't place him. "Does he look familiar to you?" I asked Lori.
"You don't remember him?"
"Should I?"
"I guess you probably wouldn't, considering you were pretty wasted at the time."
"Who is he?"
"I don't remember his name but he was from the first club you let me drag you to, you know when you found out about Jonathan and Ryan came and hauled your ass over his shoulder."
My eyes went wide, "Oh shit I almost forgot about that."
"Funny running into you here." Standing next to us was the guy from the other side of the bar.
How did he get over here so fast?
His milk chocolate eyes and short blonde hair was very familiar, "You don't remember me do you?"
I gave an awkward smile and shrugged, "I'm really sorry." He wore a tight white button down with brown slacks and a gold watch on his left wrist.
"No it's okay, I shouldn't be surprised, you were pretty wasted." He chuckled.
"But you remember me?" The small grin he gave me started giving me quick flashbacks of that night.
Lori and I were drinking and dancing. I remembered laughter and this guy's face.
"Hard to forget a beautiful woman being carried out of here over a random guy's shoulder." I felt the heat travel from my neck to my cheeks, the embarrassment was thick that's for sure.
Yup I remembered the sly look that took over Ryan's face before everything turned upside down.
"Well I'll gladly reintroduce myself, Cam." He stuck out his hand.
Cam! I do remember him that night, he was kind and had this boyish charm about him. Though if my memory serves me, he had a friend that was kind of a dick.
I shook his hand, giving him a kind smile, "Martha."
"Cam come on, stop flirting, we got shit to do!" We heard someone yell from the other side of the bar. Taking a quick peek, I was correct. It was the same friend that I had seen the last time. I definitely couldn't be bothered to remember his name.
"Sorry about that, I just wanted to say hi... I guess I'll see you around."
"Yea see you around." I said as I watched him leave.
My eyes left his retreating figure to see a bouncing Lori, "OOO someone's cute"
"Don't start." I rolled my eyes in protest of her observation.
"What?"
"I know you, you start getting the idea in your head that someone is interested in me and then you bug me about it."
She put her hand over her chest, feigning hurt, "I would never."
"Ryan." That shut her up...or so I thought.
"I'm not wrong about that."
I quickly turned to her, "We are not going down that road again!" I said stopping the topic before I had to repeat myself about it for the umpteenth time, "I already have enough male drama for the Holiday season."
"Speaking of which?"
"What?"
"How are you gonna do Christmas this year with everything going on? I mean," Lori tapped her phone and shoved the lit screen towards me, "it's in less than a week."
Lori was right, I had been racking my brain around how I wanted Paige to spend her first Christmas with Jonathan not in the house. I didn't want her to wake up and find the house with only one parent and I didn't want to send her to Jonathan's to experience the same thing yet in an unfamiliar apartment Christmas morning.
Shrugging, I gave an idea, "I mean I was just going to have Jonathan over in the morning to make sure that he was there when Paige opened her presents and then he could have her for the weekend."
"That sounds good. And Ryan?"
A confused look came upon my face, "What about Ryan? He doesn't celebrate the holidays."
"You never see him?" Lori wasn't privy to the fact that Ryan was never around during the holidays, let alone the reason why.
"Nope the closer it gets to Christmas the less he'll be around till eventually he just disappears then typically I don't see him till the new year." She didn't comment further, I appreciated that she understood not to pry.
I had been stirring the drink the bartender gifted me from Cam. That first night at the bar seems like a lifetime ago. Like it was a whole other Martha back then. Maybe it was.
I rose the glass to my lips enjoying my last drink of the night... Ooo Tequila Sunrise.
-------------------------—————-
🚨Hello My Loves !! I AM SO SORRY!!😞
I have been so sick, it's really going around this time of year! 😷 But I am finally feeling better and wanted to put out a chapter before the New Year. 🍾
I thank you for all your support and appreciate everything!☺️
I have seen all of you who have been giving this story attention just by reading, voting commenting and even adding the book to one of your library sections! 🥰
CRUSTY_sp0nge, Diane2229, jayyari, fken19, sizzybuzz, tink4me, dre2016, S83881, jmack48,
Of Course If I forgot anyone who has been making contributions, please know how grateful I am. Thank you again! I will be publishing the next chapter ASAP, so be on the look out!👀
Every time I opened my eyes this month:😷🤒