May 14th
Amariana
9:22
"Ok so we'll need milk,eggs,cheese,tomatoe sauce," Beybey named off right now we're at the store because grandma wanted to have dinner at her house why this early to get prepaid I really don't know but Beybey said well be there all day.
"Mama always makes me come to the store while everyone else is cooking" she pouted pushing the kart I chuckled lowly "i wonder why that is" she looked back at me and gave me a hard glare my eyes widen "sorry" I mumbled we continue moving and she was looking through the aisle for what's needed I looked up and I saw a woman a woman I know I got a bit closer and she turned fully and I saw her face I gasped loudly causing Beybey to snap my way
"What's wrong baby?" She asked I didn't move I was froze up still staring she came to me and out her hand on my back and looked at me she followed my eyes then looked back at me. "You know her?" I nodded slowly walking to the woman slow as well
"Grandma?" She turned around after putting her can goods in the kart her eyes went wide and she gasped
"Amariana?" I nodded and I felt my eyes tear up she smiled and pulled me into a hug and I inhaled her sweet scent.
Flashback
"Grandma" 6 year old Amariana yelled in excitement running into her grandmothers arms while was bent down to her level.
"Hi my beautiful grand baby how are you" she hugged the child tightly kissing her cheek. "Good mommy said I can stay with you for the night" the child clapped happily
"Is that so and what ever should we do?" Her grandmother took her hand into her own and pulled her inside. The 6 year old gasped in thought. "How bout we make cookies for mommy and grandpa" she spoke excitedly.
"Ok cookies is perfect" she tickled the child causing her to giggle as well as her grandmother did and kissed her nose.
Flashback over
I pulled away and she caressed my check wiping my tears and kissed my nose. I smiled at the memory of her always doing that.
"Oh my goodness you seem so big" she smiled I laughed lowly and sniffled wiping my eyes she looked up and I turned around seeing Beyoncé. Oh god I hope she doesn't hold this against her it wasn't her fault
"You must be Beyoncé" she held her hand out and Beyoncé looked at it for minute and she smiled softly taking it into her own. "Yes ma'am I am" she spoke grandma nodded before letting go she bit her lip and inhaled a breathe
"Listen I'm so deeply sorry about everything I didn't know she did that" she spoke sincerely she looked at me then back at bey "she umm she went away two years before she came back with Amariana we wondered why but she never said anything then when she came back Amariana was with her and she was 3 she said she left because she was pregnant and she thought we would be ashamed i all added up I mean the years Amariana age it all played out so smoothly I never thought of it" she huffed and shook her head looking down I knew it was hard on her because there was a few times Candace and her fought and she would say she never understood her.
"Anyways I just wanted to apologize on my behalf I'm so sorry that she did that to you and your family I really am" I looked at Beyoncé and she looked at me she looked back at grandma and nodded walking closer to her pulling her into a hug. "Thank you for that" she spoke in a soft whisper she released the hug and rubbed her for arm.
"Well I better get going your crazy ass aunt is home waiting" me and Beybey couldn't help but laugh grandma doesn't care about what curse word comes out. " it was nice meeting you" bey spoke shaking her hand grandma looked at me and I smiled I felt good to see her I went to hug her and she hugged back tightly. "It was good to see you baby" she whispered in my ear "you too" I replied back she let me go and smiled at me before kissing my nose again.
I went to Stand by Beybey and I laid my head on her shoulder as she wrapped her arm around my shoulder grandma smiled "the right way is for the best" she winked at me and I nodded as we watched her walk away I smiled and we turned around returning to our kart
"What was that?" Bey asked referring to the statement and wink. I smiled remembering perfectly. "That was something she would say if I had a hard time making decisions about something" I smiled as well as she did and she nodded.
We finished in the store now where in the car on our way back to grandmas. It was pretty silent i was still in shock I just saw my grandmother. Bey cleared her throat
"So umm" she began " i have no problem with you going to visit them sometime you know" she glanced at me quickly I sat up."really?" I asked shocked she nodded
"Yeah I mean it's not they're fault they're just as much as Victims as we are it's not they're fault and I see that you and her had a relationship I don't want to just take you away like that,that's selfish and I've been told I was called a selfish diva" she joked the last part but it kinda made me feel ashamed I sat back and looked down.
"Sorry about that" I mumbled I felt her hand on mine in my lap."hey it's ok I've been called worse on the internet" I smiled softly and nodded
"So why are we going to be amy grandmas house all day?" I asked concerned she huffed."well besides her wanting us to eat dinner with her umm you auntie Kelly wants to have a little chat with you" I rolled my eyes and smiled
"Is it because I won't tell her about your birthday party yet?" I smiled she been hugging me about that once so often and I kept telling her to wait. " no she ju- she stopped and looked at me quickly. "Wait my birthday party?" I widen my eyes and sat back. "Never mind that" i spat quickly she nodded slowly.
"Anyways" she dragged out "it's not anything bad it's just you have some common features" i scrunched my face in confusion. "As in?" I asked more into the conversation
"Listens Kelly is a sweet heart right?" Ok now I really want to know. "Uh yeah" I paused. she nodded "well remember how I was talking to you about forgiveness and moving on not only for the person who hurt you but for you as well?" I nodded "yeahhhh..."
"Well you would've never knew Kelly been through a lot because she such a sweet heart but she like that because she knew she had to forgive" I nodded now I get it. "Ok" i replied
"So she basically is gonna give you a better talk than I did my husband cheating on me isn't the same or not even close to what you been through but your auntie Kelly as been their and I know she can make it more understanding since she can relate" she explained I nodded and sat back we got silent again I heard a hard beat I knew exactly what it was to she think I don't know about her renaissance album oh but I do. It was CHUCH GIRL I turned it up and began to twerk In my seat her eyes went wide and she broke into a cheesy smile
"OH MY GOD!" She yelled over the music as I was dancing to the beat
I'll drop it like a thotty, drop it like a thotty
I said, now pop it like a thotty, pop it like a thotty (you bad)
Mi seh, now drop it like a thotty, drop it like a thotty (you bad)
Church girls actin' loose, bad girls actin' snotty (you bad)
Let it go, girl (let it go), let it out, girl (let it out)
Twerk that ass like you came up out the South, girl (ooh, ooh)
I said, now drop it like a thotty, drop it like a thotty (you bad)
Bad girl actin' naughty, church girl, don't hurt nobody
You can be my daddy if you want to
You, you can be my daddy if you want to
You can get it tatted if you want to
You, you can get it tatted if you want to (she ain't tryna hurt nobody) I sing along bouncing in the seat popping as well as she was. If our car rides will be like this just wait til Mirah and Chris get here with his gay ass. My favorite part was bout to come I took my seat belt off and squatted some in my seat I'm about to tear this up real quick.
"Your ready Beybey?" She looked at me confused as I began to twerk my booty up and down.
I'ma buss it, buss it, buss it, buss it up, back it up (back it up)
I see them grey sweats (ooh), I see a blank check (ooh)
Must be the cash 'cause it ain't your face
It must be the cash 'cause it ain't your face
Now, do it, baby, stick it, baby, do it, baby, stick it, baby
Do it, baby, spin it, now spin it, baby, do it
Now spend that cash a little harder and she might let you dive in the water.
"AHHH" i hyped up still going her eyes went wide and she hit the break and stared laughing as I was still moving my booty in a soft circle motion
"Drop it like a thotty, drop it like a thotty
Now, now, now, drop it like a thotty, drop it like a thotty
Oh, oh, oh, drop it like a thotty, drop it like a thotty
Good girls actin' bad, church girls, don't hurt nobody" I sung along she began to move the car and I felt a smack on my butt going straight through my leggings.
"Ok sit down for you get me pulled over child" I laughed and sat down putting my seat belt on she turned the music down and looked at me like I had six heads. "Where did you learn to move yo lil Booty like that" I laughed and huffed getting my final breath out to catch.
"You might find this funny but Chris" and she began laughing as well as I did "you thought my booty was something but wait til he gets here" she shook her head and chuckled. "It's good to see you having a little fun" she smiled as I returned one I have been getting sick and being home a lot so it felt good to have a good moment. We made it back to grandmas house through laughter and songs. It feels good to be comfortable with Beybey I mean yes we had to get to know each other but I realized she is my mother just wait for her birthday.
We got out the car grabbing the groceries and walking in the house still laughing "you really are something" she laughed I shrugged and laughed as well. " ugh what ppl yall so long" Auntie Michelle came to us snatching the bags out our hands.
"Sorry mrs attitude if you must know we ran into someone" bey spoke walking into the kitchen followed behind me I sat down next to kellly and she kissed my head I smiled.
"Oh really,who?" Grandma asked pouring the tomato sauce in the pan of whatever it is bey looked at me and I nodded. "Candace's mother" she spoke grandma dropped her spatula and shot her head up as well as everyone did looking at me and bey like.
"And what happen?" Kelly sat up knocking my head off her shoulder making me hit it on the back of her chair. "OW, auntie Kelly" i hissed she looked back at me and waved me off "rude" i muttered
"Well we talked" Beybey shrugged they looked at her like she was stupid I wanted to laugh at they're faced but they were to serious so I knew to hold it in. "Talked?" Solo said ,"y'all talked" she repeated bey bey nodded
"About what how her damn daughter is a kidnapper" grandma spat picking her spatula back up. "Ok listen it's not her fault her daughter actions had nothing to do with her that woman is grown" Beybey defended I was kinda feeling a bit hurt about how they were thinking of grandma because she not like that she would never hurt anyone I got up as they were having a pity about the situation and I went to go find my sister and cousin yes I met julez the day after he arrived he actually a cool 8 year old.
Beyoncé
10:07
"Ok listen y'all did not have to act like that with her in here to us that the situation is horrible yes it is but she grew up with those folks and they basically are still her family" i was beyond pissed about the way they just acted like Amariana wasn't sitting there.
"We're just saying bey that family is full of lies are you really sure she didn't know?" Kelly asked sipping her tea. I sighed "yes I am sure she was looking me in my eyes sincerely and she meant her words and she apologized" I spoke remembering it all
"Well what exactly did she say?" Mama asked still in the process of cooking. "Well she said that Candace left two years before she took Amariana when she came back Amariana was obviously 3 and she told her mother that she was pregnant that's why she left she thought they would be ashamed of their for getting pregnant" I explained " her mother just never thought of it" I sighed sitting back
"A damn shame her ass lie more than a child" our eyes widen at mama sudden language. "MAMA!" We said in unison before laughing "lord forgive me but it's ashame" she replied shaking her head. We went silent
"How did Amariana take it I mean isn't that her first time actually hearing about it?" Michelle asked. "Yeah it was, but I think she was more so happy to see her to even really care in that moment they had their own relationship" I smiled remembering the moment in the store. "Then she said the most wisest thing she just looked at me and Amariana and said the right way it the best way" I marked her words mama grinned
"Maybe she didn't know" Solange shrugged I nodded. "Yeah but what does that mean?" Kelly asked confused I sat up "well Amariana said she used to say that to her when she couldn't make tough decisions, but i honestly don't know I'll have to ask her about that "
"So she knew Amariana being back was the right decision" Michelle spoke I nodded in a way yes. "Well I mean was it really a decision she not that woman's child either way" Kelly chimed in.
"We'll state of law does say 13 is when a child can pick where they want to live did that detective ask if he wanted to stay?" Mama spoke I thought about it and I honestly don't remember her saying that I was staring to get scared because if I did ask her I don't know what she would say
"I-I don't remember her doing that" i shuttered out nervously."oh god what if she wants to go back" I panicked
"Bey she won't go back and she can't go back your her parent and guardian" Kelly spoke softly grabbing my hands from across the table "yeah but she is 14 you said 13 is the age she can pick"
"With parental permission" she rushed out squeezing my hands into her." Yeah bey if you were a neglectful parent then it wouldn't matter but you are present all the way for these kids and I'm sure she loves you if she didn't want to be here she wouldn't have come such a long way to get comfortable with you remember who she wanted at the hospital" solo spoke smirking I smiled and remembered
"Yeah" I spoke in a exhale breathe "y'all are right" I laughed we went silent then I remember."speaking of comfortable she got to comfortable standing up in my seat twerking to church girl in the car" I laughed
"What!"Kelly laughed out as well as we all did. "Girl and it moves" I spoke mama laughed and shook her head as we all cackled we heard the front door seeing Shawn come in
"Hey baby" I spoke he smile and came in the kitchen. "Hello Knowles woman" he spoke they all said hey and he came and kissed me. "What was y'all cracking up about?" he sat down I held my hand I looked at my small print being held gently in his I looked at him and he didn't relized it when he did he smiled and brought my hand up to his lips kissing it.
"Your bad ass daughter was twe-" I hit Michelle in her arm cutting her off she hissed and looked at me like I'm as crazy "tryna get my baby in trouble?" I gritted widening my eyes she looked at mama
"Mama she just hit me" I felt a sting on my hand and I jumped and hissed. Seeing mama sitting down next to me in the other chair. "Keep your hands to yourself Gisselle" she sat back in her seat.
"So Beyoncé you gonna tell Shawn about the little reunion you and Amariana had at the store" Kelly spoke sipping her tea messy Ass I glared at her and she shrugged sitting her cup down. "What little reunion?" I asked beside me I laughed nervously
"I'll talk to you later" he nodded and kissed my head now I have to deal with this shit. "Anyways what are we doing about this summer and birthdays?" Solange asked i began to speak but I let out a breathe and shook my head not knowing.
"Speaking of Kelly what did Amariana tell you about having a birthday party for me?" I remember what happened in the car she shook her head
"She j-" she began but a soft voice yelled from upstairs
"MIND YOUR BUSINESS BEYONCÉ" Amariana yelled nosy ass I hugged and crossed my arms pouting they all laughed at me and I rolled my eyes.
Amariana
10:19
I laughed and moved from the steps from ease dropping I went back into the game room where blue and julez was they're so into this game I don't even get.
"This what y'all do every time y'all get together?" I chucked and shook my head. "Yeah it better than being with old people so much" julez shrugged and I laughed
"Excuse me mr.smith I am not old I can't speak for anyone else though" Kelly appeared in the door we all laughed. "Amariana can I see you for a moment" I nodded and got up.
"Bring my sister back auntie Kelly she my sister not yours yours are the old one's downstairs" blue spoke I couldn't help but crack up as well as auntie Kelly did. "Ok blue blue" she replied we walked out I followed her to the room the she used to stay in when I was here is at down on the bed and she closed the door and sat next to me.
"So what's up?" She turns her body toward me letting one leg fold under the other. I turned slightly giving my attention "well firstly how have you been and feel free to let it all out I'm not your mom I can handle it trust me" i knew I had to let it out because I couldn't hold it in any longer but instead of letting my words out I let my cries out I sobbed for dear mercy my chest slowly risen until it couldn't anymore then I quickly fell back down Kelly quickly pulled me into her arms as I screamed all my pain out I know I could be here form miles away
"Let it out baby" she whispered in my ear rocking me back and fourth rubbing my back with one hand and holding the back of my head with her other. It like My pain was rising from when I was younger to now it's like it was all rising up my body on the inside and it was causing me to scream and let it all escape from my cries. After a few more minutes of crying i calmed myself laying in my aunts chest I wiped my face and sniffed a few times. "You ready to take to me?" She asked I nodded my head and sat up I took a breath and wiped my face some more
"I don't even know where to began" I spoke shaking my head. "Well how about" she lifted me head and wiped my eyes "you tell me what you feel from being here in the began as in the whole kidnap of it all what do you feel?" I but my lip hardly and blinked shaking my head.
"I- i just and completely blind sided you know" I felt myself crying again "it just I lived almost my whole life full of lies and it makes me think what if I didn't get found and I got older and I wanted to go to work or be on my own what was she gonna tell me when I couldn't use my birth certificate" I shook my head feeling ashamed for her bout it.
"Then I get here act an ass to my real mother and she giving the best life possible" is like truthfully "but of course something happened and knocks everything down" she nodded
"Yeah I know what you mean by that when I was younger I didn't have a father in my life it was just me and my mom and it broke my heart" she cleared her throat I heard the lump catching up to her voice "I would feel hurt and get jealous sometimes when I saw your mom and your auntie solo have their father, but then I realized I didn't need him I had my mother the woman who taught me everything about becoming a woman and as soon as I realized that my mother died" she looked down and I saw her tear fall from her eyes I felt so bad it was making me cry more then her
"Umm- then that's when your grandmother took me in some people think only because of our group but that's really why" she cleared up I nodded and wiped my eyes.
"The I got older when I was 24 I was in a relationship with this guy" she chuckled bitterly and shook her head."and he was abusive verbally and physically" my eyes widen Beybey was right I would've never thought she such a sweet heart i men's I would've thought she would be burning shit down or something.
"But i realized I was so much more than that it was so much more to me to just be hurt and let all of the evil and all of the things that happened to me take over me and leave me to die or to be hurt alone" she took s dee breath with her chest and shoulders."so I knew I had to forgive it all for me now it's your decision to make but can you handle what comes with your decision. If you don't forgive can you handle that hurt become it keeps playing your head or if you do forgive you can handle the happiness that it'll bring you for the good heart you have.
I thought deeply about her words and I don't want to be hurt like this I don't want Beybey and daddy to feel like it's their fault but the real question is can I forgot?
"I can do that but I don't think I can forget auntie Kelly" I spoke my thoughts she nodded quickly. "And that's ok you don't have to but you don't want to Remember it as a memory of you life but think about it as a moment of your life but if you do remember it as a memories that's ok too just don't relive it don't look back at the past if it's no good but look at the past if it is good but until then look for vision of the future".
I took a deep breathe and nodded I'm really glad that someone understood I think Beybey was trying to hard to understand that I was beginning to get frustrated for her to understand and for me to explain.
"Thank you auntie Kelly I actually feel very much better" I smiled and hugged her. "I'm glad I can help" we pulled away and went silent before she spoke again
"Ok,and please don't tell this to anyone your honestly the only person I really talked about that to and I don't really like looking back at the past they call it a past for a reason and I've been doing really good finding my vision of my future and I want that for you" she tapped my nose I smiled softly as well as she did I signed and look down just gazing
"So what do I do now?" I looked back up at her she raised her eyebrows and nodded in a tilt "well, there's not much you can do about the past but for the future a start is to move on live your life with your mother your father and you little sister. The right way is the best way" my eyes widen at her using grandma's words I smiled and she did as well.
"Ok now come on before I can up here your mama was trying to help in the kitchen and I can't die today" she stood up i laughed and followed behind her.
Shawn
11:00
"Maybe I should go up there and check" bet spoke in a panic we heard Amariana screaming to the top of her lungs followed by loud deep sobs and Beyoncé been panicking since.
"No baby Kelly got this if she didn't don't you think you wouldn't have asked her to do this?" She bit her lip and nodded I pulled her hand to my lips and kissed it tenderly but gently.
"I hope this all goes through and Kelly gets the deep spot for her to let it out" mama Tina spoke I nodded. "If this doesn't fall through its just gonna have to be a actual therapist bey looked at me.
"Well we don't know for sure what the cries were about but it seems like she's letting it all out" I replied texting to be positive they have no faith in kelly.
"Shhhsshh" Michelle rushed out we heard footsteps getting closer I looked and saw Kelly and Amariana hand in hand they both looked like they been crying both red eyes a bit pale and Amariana kept sniffling. "Sooooooo?" Solange dragged out nodded moving her hand in a coward circle waiting for replies
"I think she gonna be ok" Kelly looked down at Amariana "just needed a better understanding" Beyoncé let out a relief breathe and got up walking over to them and hugging Amariana
"Thank you so much Kelly" she poke Kelly nodded "well it actually felt good to let my thoughts out as well but for the love of my sister in niece my pleasure" bey nodded and kissed Amariana head my phone began to ring and and it was Benny I got up. "I'll be back" I went out on the front porch and answered it
"Aye man was up?" I answered I heard him breath out into the phone in a sigh
"Listen Shawn man I got some bad news" my heart dropped in thought of what it could be my wife and kids are here so it can't be that it can't be anything about work because we handle that's months ago.
"O-ok what is it?" I stutter trying to push my words out passed my nervousness.
"Kenny is alive"
Oh lawdd all hell about to break lose
Thoughts
Beyoncé meeting Candace's mom?
Kelly and Amariana?
Kenneth not dead?