Freen has been on and off the bathroom for the past one hour. She's restless and of course I know why. Sleep is far from her. Not just her, us. I can't sleep and it looks like she's having a hard time sleeping as well. I can't sleep because I want her. I have missed her, I want to kiss and hold her. And do other beautiful things to her.
Well, as for why she herself can not sleep, I think it's best you hear it from her directly. Hold on, she just came out of the bathroom for like the millionth time. Freen's gaze met mine as soon as she walked out of the bathroom. I smiled at her and signalled her to come over to the bed. She gulped and walked to the bed. She laid at the edge of the bed while turning her back at me.
"Why do you keep going to the bathroom? Are you really okay?" I asked.
Silence
"It's midnight already. You still can't sleep?"
Silence
"This is wrong Freen. You can't keep ignoring me like this. My mum once said you are worst than a bully when you ignore people. It drains the other person emotionally...."
"Can you stop talking? I am trying to get some sleep" she mumbled in frustration.
"You clearly can't sleep. There's no need forcing it"
"And whose fault is that?" She asked without turning to me.
"I can't sleep as well. I think I am still affected by what happened earlier" I said ignoring her question.
Silence
"The cut on my lips is probably deep. It aches so much. The ice didn't help much maybe an ointment will.."
Freen didn't turn to me. Why is she acting like she doesn't care when we all know deep inside her she cares so much. Even though she's angry with me, she is still softhearted towards me.
"Maybe if I put ointment on it, the pain would reduce and I can finally sleep." I continued.
"Good. You know where you can get them" she said.
"But I can't apply it myself. I can't see my lips properly..."
"Use the mirror"
"Freen...."
"No Becky. I can't do that for you" she cut me off.
"Why can't you?" I said and got close to her.
Freen trembled when my hand landed on her. She quickly turned to me probably to ask me not to touch her but couldn't say anything when our eyes locked. She roamed her eyes all over me and gulped. I know my nightwear is transparent and she can see through it. I purposely wore it for her and I'm glad it's doing the job perfectly.
Freen remained speechless as my thumb brushed her cheeks. Her eyes are fixed on my boobs while gulping. I should have gone completely naked instead since she's strong enough to withstand this one. Maybe we would be making love by now if I had done that.
"Why can't you do that for me?" I repeated in a very soft tone.
This time, I got more closer to her. Close enough that my boobs are subtly on her. I held her cheeks while moving the tips of my finger on her ear and earlobe.
"Fine. I will do it" she said and got up from the bed.
I smiled and relaxed my back on the bed while watching her as she gets the ointment and cotton swabs. By the way, it doesn't hurt at all. It was just a minor cut and the ice helped so much. But I needed her attention and I just got it.
"You can sit up now" She said as she walked back to the bed with the items.
I sat up and rested my back on the headboard. She sat facing me with a cutton swab dipped in the ointment already. Freen started treating the wound. She was so gentle that I didn't feel a single pain, instead I was burning with desire. Her little touches were sending chills down my spine. Her lips so tempting and her eyes, gosh! I can't get enough of her beauty. I can see her cleavages also. I have missed cupping her boobs and having her nipples in my mouth. I have missed her so much.
As if she can hear my thoughts, she suddenly stopped while staring deeply into my eyes. Her eyes are so beautiful. I know she's feeling the same as I do. She wants me too but she's holding back. She's fighting it. She's resisting me and I don't like it.
Freen cleared her throat awkwardly and dropped her hands.
"It's all done" she said and tried getting up from the bed but I held her back stopping her from leaving the bed.
If she can't do it, then I will. I will make the move. With my trembling hands I took her cheeks in my hands. I gently put her hair behind her ear and she let out a weak sigh. My hand ran from her cheeks to her lips and she gasped. Freen is gulping while staring at my lips.
I grabbed her by the nape drawing her closer to me and made her got on me. We are both shaking. I am so turned on with the feeling that it's about to happen between us. My hands are on her butts squeezing and massaging them smoothly.
"Gosh Becky" she sighed.
"You shouldn't be doing this" she mumbled in a hoarse voice.
"I'm sorry but I can't help it"
"I want you" I added, almost like begging for it.
"No you can't. It's wrong...." She said in a weak tone.
"It's not Freen. You want me as much as I want you right now. Why are you fighting it?"
She was silent. Just looking at me. Her eyes are full of emotions, and lust. And I know how hard she's trying not to devour me right now. I guided her hand into my nightwear, to my breast and she sighed softly. I made her massage and tickle my already hard nipples and she started breathing up.
"My whole body wants you Freen. My nipples are craving for your touch. And my down part are socked." I said.
I held her hand. Guiding it towards my center but she stopped half way. She wouldn't be able to resist anymore if she had touched me there. If she had felt how drenched I was down there.
"Becky.... I can't" She said in a weak tone while trying to control her urges.
"Why can't you?" I asked sadly.
Silence
It hurts me that she's resisting me right now. I know she wants me too but she's stoping herself and I have no idea why she is doing that.
"I will go grab some water" she said and got up from the bed.
"Freen...." I called with a broken voice and followed her out of the room to the kitchen.
I don't know what exactly is hurting me right now. Is it because she rejected me or because a part of me feels I have lost her completely. I mean the Freen I used to know would never say no to making love to me. Did everything change within a month? Doesn't she find me attractive anymore.
"Freen?" I called again when we got to the kitchen.
She had a glass of water in her hand. She took the water in one gulp and shut her eyes to stay calm. I walked to her and hugged her from behind.
"No no.. not again Becky...." She resisted but I held her more tighter.
"Please let me stay like this for a while" I said while holding back my tears.
Silence
We stayed like that for some minutes before I finally broke the silence.
"I wore this nightwear for you. I was craving for your attention so much that I did all that. But you're hurting my feelings by rejecting me right now..."
"Becky..."
"I love you Freen. I still love you with all my heart. I haven't moved on. There's no single day that I don't miss you..."
"Stop talking nonsense" she cut me off and moved away from my hold.
I got a little confused. Why did she do that? Freen started walking back to the room without looking at me.
"Are you still angry with me?" I asked as I followed her to the bedroom.
Silence
"I am sorry for everything. I am sorry for leaving you..."
"I really don't need your apology Becky. You chose your path and I am fine with it" she said and got on the bed.
I think Freen is really angry right now over what happened. The expression on her face has changed and she looks more serious and cold this time. It breaks my heart to see this side of Freen right now. I hate it when she's angry with me. It hurts a lot.
"Freen?" I called in a sad tone and held her arm but she dropped my hand and turned her back at me.
"Freen please..."
"Stop it already Becky. I have a busy day tomorrow, I need to rest" she said shutting me off.
I felt pain in my chest. I couldn't say anything anymore because of how bad my heart was aching. I lied next to her and hugged the pillow. I'm trying my best not to cry but the tears kept coming.
..............................................................
"I love you Freen. I still love you with all my heart. I haven't moved on. There's no single day that I don't miss you..."
Hearing her say that got me a little upset. Did she say she loves me? Like telling me that is supposed to fix everything? Like I'm supposed to forget everything, all the pain I felt, and run back into her arms?
She called me out in a cold evening to hurt me with no mercy. She made me run after her like an idiot and blocked every communication with me. She made me cry every morning and night. I can't keep counts of how many sleepless nights I had and still having because of her. I stay up all night thinking and hurting so much because of her for the past month. Is that what she meant by love? She loves me when she couldn't even fight for what we shared. She clearly has no idea what love is.
The pain I have been through over these years are overwhelming me. The pain I felt in those four years haven't left me a bit. I know being angry at her and hating her family is my coping mechanism. I am angry at her because she didn't think about my feelings before deciding to give up on us. And I hate her family for everything they did to me and to Becky as well.
I walked to the bedroom and lied on the bed. All the pleasure I felt some minutes ago have left me. I only feel pain and anger. Why is she apologizing for hurting me? When she will still be getting married to someone else in a month time. I sincerely don't need her apology.
"Freen?" She called in a sad tone taking me out of my thoughts.
I can feel her hand grabbing my arm. I heaved a sigh and dropped her hand. I turned to the other side of the bed and shut my eyes.
"Freen please...".
"Stop it already Becky. I have a busy day tomorrow, I need to rest" I said shutting her off.
She became silent and lied next to me. It was silent on the bed for some minutes until I heard her whimpering. What the - is she crying? I quickly turned to her and yes she was crying while hugging the pillow.
I am angry with her but I hate seeing her tears. My heart started aching with the thoughts that I just made her cry. Was I too harsh? Maybe I was. Fuck! I shouldn't have said those to her.
"Becky?" I called as I moved close to her.
I held her on the arm and made her turn to me. Becky has tears all over her face as she looked straight into my eyes. Her teary sad eyes are melting every piece of me. All my anger is gone and I feel so bad for hurting her. I nervously cupped her cheeks and started drying her tears.
"Do you hate me now?" She asked out of nowhere.
"No I don't" I responded immediately while drying her tears with my thumbs.
To be continued................