Inure; to accept or grow accustomed to something undesirable.
It was the quidditch final and everyone was buzzing around hyped for the game. Normally Elijah took games in his stride with just a touch of nerves to keep him in check, but on days where it was Slytherin vs Gryffindor, well that was another story altogether. If Gryffindor was playing, then it meant his parents were to be in the stands, and usually if Gryffindor wasn't playing Slytherin he could avoid them. Alas, no such luck today. It also didn't help that all week he'd been reminded of the scouts coming to his last game of the season.
He sat at the Slytherin table, trying to force down a bowl of porridge, but his appetite was nonexistent. Pushing the food around the bowl as if it would miraculously give him a sense of hunger. His hands shaking slightly, he'd been up all night antagonising over a run in with his parents, and now dark circles sat under his pretty eyes.
Alix sat beside him, gently nudging him to pull him out of his daze. She made sure the other boys were deep in another conversation before talking to her friend. "You ok?" she asked softly, though she already knew the answer.
"I haven't really spoken to them since the friendly against Gryffindor at the beginning of the year. Other than the birthday card, Christmas card and the few howlers, I've heard nothing. If dad is going to try and talk to me, it not going to end well." He sighed, running a hand through his messy black hair. "Normally I'd have received one or two letters from mum by this point in the school year, so to hear nothing from them, even when my report came out.." He shook his head. "I think they are really pissed off."
"They have no right to be angry at you, Elijah. You've done nothing wrong, all you've done is not reply to the Howlers." She argued, looking up to see Lucas sliding on the other side Elijah. "You've got us here remember? Lucas and Cedric will be in the stands with Ezra and I'll be by your side. Your parents be damned."
"They are back?" Lucas asked, his own long black hair a lot neater than Elijahs. "Do they ever miss one of Harry's games? Do you think they will try to talk to you?"
"Not to my knowledge, but I stopped sitting in Gryffindors stands when Harry plays, so maybe they've missed one or two." he sighed, finally giving up on eating, letting the spoon fall back into the bowl as he pushed it away. "Dad won't be able to help himself, especially with the amount of fights I've been getting into recently." he sighed, rubbing his face with his hands, his knuckles still healing from the last fight he'd gotten into with some seventh year Slytherin who thought it was funny to laugh about Lupins clothes and scars.
"You could just stop fighting people." Lucas commented, a small smile playing on his lips. He was trying to lighten the mood, but he when it came to his parents Elijah was hard to talk down.
"I would if people stopped pissing me off." he grumbled, letting out a heavy sigh. He could use magic, but he personally found that it was always more affective to throw a punch a wizard. They never really knew how to defend themselves against hand to hand combat. Plus, he could control himself with punches, but magic.. He could potentially kill someone if they pushed the right buttons. It was an added bonus that it wound James up that his son, a wizard, chose to fight with fists instead of a wand.
"You never did tell me what that seventh year actually said." Alix hummed. Though she knew a lot of people saw Elijah as someone who was hot headed and lashed out at any and everything, it was the furthest thing from the truth, her friend under normal circumstances would do anything for anyone, but the second someone insulted or threatened someone he cared about he'd see red and start swinging. He was far too protective for his own good.
Shrugging the boy, looked away. "Nothing of importance, that's why I had to remind him to think before speaking." he murmured. He hadn't told his friends about Lupin being his godfather yet, its not that he was ashamed, it was just.. He wanted to protect the relationship without it getting out to the whole school. It meant a lot to him to finally have a parental figure, and he was afraid of losing it. It did mean the secrets he was keeping from Alix and Lucas were slowly stacking up once again.
"Right.." she sighed, rolling her eyes as she got the sense he was keeping things from her again.
Pausing as he took in her tone, before looking at her. "I'm sorry, Al.. It was just more of the same shit about pure bloods again, comments on Hermione and other non pure-bloods. Typical things you'd expect." he lied, hoping it would suffice for now.
She studied her friend before nodding, "Ok." she muttered, though seeing Cedric enter the hall made her frown change into a smile as he approached her.
As Cedric beside the girl, wrapping a strong arm around her. "Good morning." He grinned, placing a small kiss to her cheek. "All ready for the game?" He asked them, looking up at Elijah, clearly not reading the room.
Faking a smile Elijah nodded, "Always." he murmured, turning to give Lucas a kiss. "See you after the game. I'm going to go get ready." he hummed, getting up from his seat and heading towards the Slytherin changing rooms. If he was being honest, he just needed to shut off from everything for a minute and recenter himself without it feeling like everyones eyes were on him. It was no secret that he had scouts at his game today and that it was the last really chance they'd get to evaluate his performance. No pressure.
It didn't take him long to get to the changing rooms and get ready, a little too early but it was a mixture of excitement and worry making a storm of butterflies inside his stomach. He was pacing the room when he heard a knock, looking to the door to find his father leaning in the doorway. The kid in Elijah wanted to feel comfort in the fact that his father was there, hoping he'd come to give advice or kind words, but the realist in him knew the real reason, still.. It was always a glimmer of hope that let him down.
"Elijah, do you mind if we have a word?" James hummed, stepping into the room.
He wondered how long his father had stood there, but chose not to linger on the thought, simply nodding at the question and moving to sit on the bench under his locker. It seemed like the kind of talk he should be sat down for.
"Do you know why we are having this conversation?" His father asked simply, standing opposite the boy.
There was the let down, the snap in his chest that he felt each and every time. Why he still did it to himself he didn't know. "I have an idea." He muttered, crossing his arms over his chest, he felt like a child again.
"How many times are we going to have to have this conversation until it sinks in?" James questioned, his voice steady and firm.
"Couldn't tell you, dad." he replied, not bothering to look up, he already knew the look of disappointment his father was wearing.
James drew in a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose with his other hand on his hip. "Why can't you just be more like your brother? We don't have these issues with Harry. Perhaps its the company he keeps-"
"No." Elijah stopped his father from finishing the sentence, "No, don't even dare finish that sentence."
"Then tell me what it is, Elijah. Because I don't hear of Harry getting into fights, or getting into half as much trouble as you seem to find yourself in." James protested, eyes glaring at his son.
His hands were tightly gripping the bench now, stretching the healing skin of his knuckles painfully. He could tell his father what it was, what he could presume it was. That the fact that he held in far too much rage that should be aimed at his parents, and then redirected it into his fights. But he wouldn't, not today.
"You are going to lecture me about how I behave at school? You?" Elijah asked, finally looking up to meet his fathers gaze. "Really, Prongs?"
James was slightly taken back by his son using his nickname. He wasn't sure how much Elijah knew, but he wasn't going to faulter from his 'parenting'. "It's different, Elijah. I never went around punching fellow students."
"No, no.. Just hexing people. You forget my classmates parents went to school with you, right?" The boy argued.
"We aren't talking about me right now, we are talking about you, Elijah." James huffed, glaring at his son, the boy swore if looks could kill he'd be dead by now.
Having enough, the boy got to his feet, moving just inches from his father. "Do you notice that the only time we ever 'talk about' me is when I get into fights?" he asked calmly, there was no need to raise his voice for what he needed to say, it would just get drown out in a screaming match if he had.
Glancing at the door he saw Alix and Jay holding back the rest of the team who needed to get ready. He was thankful, because this was not the conversation he wanted to have before his game and he needed to time to think about what to say so he didn't let slip words he couldn't take back. Nodding to his friends before bringing his gaze back to his father.
"I need you to leave now, my team is waiting to come in." he said simply, "I'll see you in the summer." he added coldly, gesturing to the door.
"We aren't finished, your team can wait." James argued.
"You might not be done, but I am." he sighed, moving to the door to open it for his father.
Once the door was open, no one from his team made any movement to enter the locker room, all patiently waiting on their Captain's word.
Clenching his jaw, James moved past his son and out of the door. Elijah could tell he was beyond angry now, but he didn't care.
"We'll talk about this over summer." James muttered to his son as he walked past.
"I'm sure we will. Enjoy the game." Elijah said dryly, gesturing for his team to enter. He could feel Alix, Felix and Jays eyes on him, but he avoided them, closing the door and going back over to his locker to finish getting ready. He wished he didn't feel this numb anger, but his anger no longer hit the way it did when he was a younger - when he'd cry after an argument with his dad. Now, he was so used to it he knew how to channel it.
"You ok?" Alix murmured, her locker next to his.
"Never better." he sighed, forcing a smile as he looked at her. "Ready for the game?"
"Elijah-" she started.
"I can't right now, Al. I've got a game to play." he stopped her, his eyes softening in a silent plea. If he dwelled on what just happened he'd get too emotional and in his own head to focus.
She swallowed thickly and nodded, "Ok.. But I'm here for you."
"I know, thank you." he smiled, a real one this time.
Turning back to the team he gave the team his normal speech before leading them out to the field. He was holding on to the anger he felt towards his father and was ready to take it out in the game ahead. It was convenient that his parents were rooting for Gryffindor too.
Walking out to the middle of the field, meeting Wood and Madam Hooch and shaking hands with the other Captain before joining his team in the air. There were loud cheers surrounding them from each of the stands, if he focused on them too much it started to become overwhelming. Taking a deep breath he re-centred himself just as the whistle blew.
He was locked in and focused now, determined to prove himself not just to the scouts but to his parents too. It seemed to be working too, getting the teams points to over 100 within the first half an hour. When he was as narrowed in on a task as he currently was, there was little that could pull him out of his state. He was playing the best he'd ever played, pushing himself further and further until Draco caught the snitch. Spotting the blond on the ground below with the ball tightly clasped in his hand.
Flying down to meet the other, he was grinning ear to ear, wrapping an arm around the younger Slytherin.
"You hurt?" he asked, looking the boy over. He hadn't seen the other catch the snitch, so he wanted to make sure. He knew it was best if he asked now before the rest of the team came down and started piling on the boy. Draco was from a proud family, Elijah knew that, and he knew that if he showed signs of hurt or weakness in a moment like this Lucius would be disappointed.
"No, why would I-" Draco started defensively.
"You sure?" Elijah asked. They're team landing around them and moving to piling in in celebration. "Because I can fix it now before your father or anyone else sees."
"I'm fine." The blond murmured, looking up at Potter with furrowed brows. He appreciated the gesture though, he hadn't thought anyone else had noticed his fathers coldness, but after what he had seen of James and Elijah today, he guessed they were in the same boat.. Or ones that were very similar.
"Good." The dark haired boy grinned, stepping aside and letting the Avery twins lift Draco, carrying him back to the locker room in celebration.
As he watched the team move off the field he noticed the form of a black dog in the shadows by one of the stands, before it disappeared. Grinning to himself he headed up to meet Madam Hooch and the scouts in the teachers stand.
The next few hours were spent shaking hands and talking quidditch to a number of witches and wizards who were interested in him trying out for their team. By the time he left he had a small stack of letters in his right hand, all offering him an interview and tryout during the summer. He felt exhausted, and though he felt he should go and celebrate with the rest of the team back in the great hall he headed down to the Shrieking Shack instead via the Whomping Willow.
Entering the now too familiar house, he could hear voices upstairs, following them until his eyes rested on his two godfathers. Leaning in the doorframe with a small smile as he watched them for a moment before clearing his throat.
"Elijah.." Sirius murmured, getting to his feet and pulling the boy into a tight hug. "Why are you here? Shouldn't you be celebrating?" he asked, pulling back slightly to look the young Potter over to see if anything was wrong.
Elijah gave a small shrug, eyes flickering to Lupin to see if he could get a sense of whether he'd spoken to his parents or not. Evident by the look of pity, he had. "I'm too tired to celebrate. Just want to chill with you two." he smiled, moving to sit in the armchair by the bed.
Sirius and Remus shared a look before turning back to the boy, looking at him expectantly.
"What?" Elijah asked furrowing his brows, slowly piecing it together and letting out a groan. "You told Sirius?" he questioned Lupin. "Well, I don't want to talk about it. I just want to sit with you guys for awhile, if that's ok?"
Lupin smiled softly, "Of course it's ok." he replied. He wasn't happy about the boy keeping everything in, but he guessed he needed time to process, it had been a busy day for him.
"But you will talk to us about it when you are ready, won't you?" Sirius asked.
This was new for Black, he used to be the one keeping things in, and Lupin, Potter and Pettigrew were the ones having to try and get it out of him. He wasn't sure he knew how to handle being on the other side of it, but for now he'd follow Lupins lead.
"As soon as I'm ready to talk you'll be the first to know." he murmured, rubbing his eyes tiredly.
A small smile stayed formed on Lupins lips, watching the boy settle around them, almost pretty much half asleep already.
"How were the scouts?" Sirius asked, settling back on the bed beside Lupin.
Elijah passed over the stack of letters, there must have been 9 letters. He hadn't read through them all though.
"Any particular one catch your eye?"
"I liked the woman from the Falmouth Falcons, and the man from Montrose Magpies.. But there were a few scouts from further out.. One from Canada, one from France, one from Bulgaria, two from America and a few from other places. Depends on how often I'd have to train and how they'd work it around my school schedule, I guess." he shrugged, he did really like the idea of the Canadian team, Vancouver Verdins, but he needed to find out more. "I can talk to them over the summer."
Both Sirius and Remus smiled at the boy.
"You know both of us are proud of you, right?" Lupin asked, looking through the letters as and when Black was done reading each one.
"You don't think I'm making a mistake?" The boy asked, "I almost feel guilty, what if quidditch doesn't work out and I've wasted time."
"If it is something you love, then it's never a waste, Elijah." Sirius replied, offering a gentle smile. "And you're good. Really good, so see where it takes you."
"Exactly." Remus agreed.
Elijah nodded, still, it didn't stop the concern from making his stomach flutter. He was so scared of failing, and he couldn't even explain why.
They all talked a little longer, the boy drifting off at some point, and both godfathers, tucked the boy into the bed, moving to sit on the dusty sofa by the fire place to continue their conversation. Letting the boy rest until morning, if needed Lupin could cover for Elijah with his friends, but he figured he needed the rest.