• AMALIA •
I wake up. I look up, surprise overtaking me when I see Archer laying on top of me. He has his arms wrapped around my neck and his head resting in the crook of my neck.
I begin to feel nostalgic, but push those memories away quickly.
"Archer." I whisper.
"Hmm?"
"You're crushing me."
He smiles.
"Archer." I say again.
"Yeah, princess?" He mumbles.
"You're gonna break all my bones."
"That's too bad." He whispers.
I sigh. "Archer."
"What?" He grumbles. "I'm trying to sleep."
"You're heavy."
"Mhm."
I roll my eyes. "How would you feel if I was using you as a mattress?"
He flips me over suddenly, so I'm laying on top of him. "I don't mind." He whispers, eyes still closed. I laugh and roll off of him.
He rolls his head to the side to look at me before sitting up. He climbs out the bed. "I'm gonna go check on Ally."
"Okay." I reply, smiling. I follow him out my bedroom, heading the opposite way toward Enzo's room. I open the door, finding him asleep in his bed. I walk over and rub his little back until he wakes up.
"Mama." He whispers. I lift him up and wrap the blanket around him. I kiss his cheek, and he snuggles into me. "Mama. Mama."
"Hm?"
"Rice Krispies." He mumbles.
I laugh. "Alright, baby. Let's get you some breakfast."
He nods, resting his head in the crook of my neck. I bounce him lightly as I walk into the kitchen, keeping him on my hip while I make him some cereal. When it's done, I set him in his high chair and put it in front of him.
"Do you want me to help you, baby?" I ask him.
"No." He says.
"Okay." I squeeze his shoulder before making a cup of tea. I sit down to drink it.
Archer walks in, a sleepy Alexandra walking in behind him. She rubs her eyes and scowls when Archer pulls her forward. "Say hi, Ally."
"Hi." She mumbles, itching at her eyes. "Ow."
I smile. "Hi. How'd you sleep?"
She shrugs. "Can't remember. I wasn't conscious."
Archer rolls his eyes.
"Can I use the toilet now?" Ally grumbles.
Archer sighs. "Yeah. Go." She walks out hastily, and I frown. "She doesn't remember." He tells me when she's gone.
I laugh. "Yeah, I guessed."
"No, like, she doesn't remember anything before the age of seven." He tells me. "Some therapist said it was because she was.. traumatised, I guess."
My heart pangs as realisation hits me. "Oh."
"She'll be out of her mood soon. She's just tired."
I smile. "Okay."
"Mama." Enzo says. Archer snaps his head down to my son, the momentary confusion being replaced by something I can't decipher as he looks at him. "Mama!"
"What's wrong?" I ask, standing and abandoning my tea.
"Milk please." He says sweetly.
"Okay." I walk back into the kitchen and warm some milk up, pouring it into a small cup before giving it to Enzo.
"Thanks mama." He says. I kiss his cheek as I round the table. It's only when I'm sipping my tea that I forgot to tell my son who, exactly, the random man standing a few feet away from him is.
"Enzo." I say. He looks over at me and smiles. "This is Archer."
He turns around to look and giggles. "Hiya."
Archer smiles. "Hi."
"Him and his sister Alexandra stayed the night." I tell him.
"I wanted to talk to you about that." Archer says. I look up at him. "If we're married, shouldn't I stay here? Won't your society thing want proof?"
I frown. "I didn't think about that." I whisper. I sigh. "It's not fair for me to ask you to move your entire life around, is it?"
"I can." He says quickly. At my furrowed brows, he adds, "I mean, I don't mind for a few months."
"What about Ally?" I ask.
"What about me?" Alexandra asks as she walks into the dining room.
"You want to live here for a few months, don't you?"
She furrows her eyebrows. "Why would we do that?"
"Because.." Archer glances at me, "Amalia and I are married."
She snorts. "As if."
He scowls.
"I'm not staying in some random house, away from all my friends that I just made!" She exclaims.
Archer sighs. "It's just for a little bit, kid."
"Why are you trying to ruin my life?" She shouts.
His eyes soften. "Ally." But she's already stomping out of the room. A few seconds later I hear her door slam, and I wince.
"It's okay, Archer, really—"
I'm cut off by the sound of knocking at the door. I stand and walk over to it, opening it and widening my eyes when I see Silas there.
I stand right in the doorway, giving her no space to enter. Loudly, I say, "hey, Silas!"
She furrows her eyebrows. "Hi."
"What—what are you doing here?" I ask, glancing back inside and seeing Archer in the doorway of the dining room.
I glare at him and motion for him to scat. He furrows his eyebrows, putting his hands into the pockets of his pants. I motion for him to go again, and he does with confusion shining in his grey eyes.
I turn back to Silas. She tries to look inside, but I block her vision. She crosses her arms, "alright, Amalia, who's here?"
"Just me and Enzo." I say. "We're.. uh.. getting ready to leave."
She pushes past me, and I frown, panic swirling within me. She looks around, then walks into the dining room, where Archer is sitting with Enzo. He turns around, and I notice recognition flash in Silas's eyes before she turns to me. She looks at Archer, then at me, repeating this a couple times before shaking her head. "I knew this would happen."
"What?" Archer asks.
"You fucked, didn't you?"
My eyes widen as embarrassment and sheer horror fills me. "Oh my God, no! We got married!"
She snaps her head back toward me, her eyes widening too. "Fucking pardon? As if that's any better!"
My frown deepens. "We were drunk. We didn't mean for it to happen."
"Fucking hell, how drunk were you?"
I raise my chin. "I'm an adult. I don't need to explain myself to you."
She glares at me. I grimace. "Sorry."
She takes a deep breath, then exhales it back out. She's silent for a moment before she says, "Jesus, my brain isn't working today." She pulls something out of her bag and passes it to me. "I just came to give you this."
It's a magazine that we shot for a few weeks ago. It's me, Silas, and her twin sister Serena, for Silas's new clothing line.
I smile. Then I look up at her. "How—how are you doing?" She's been having an immensely hard time lately, and guilt swirls inside of me for not asking her sooner, instead unloading this whole mess onto her when she already has her own problems.
She shrugs. "Fine."
I frown, because I know that she isn't.
"I have to get going." She walks to the front door. "Bye."
"Bye."
She leaves.
•
My mood declines as the day goes on. Surprisingly, none of my family members come to visit. I expected them to, but I'm glad that they haven't because the last thing I need is Archer to be uncomfortable or intimidated and decide to back out of the deal we made.
Alexandra hasn't come out of her room, and despite multiple reassurances from Archer that she's okay, I decide to check for myself.
I knock on the door. I can hear a show playing on the TV, but Ally doesn't say anything.
"Alexandra?" I say. "Can I come in?"
No response. I sigh and debate wether to go inside but decide against it; despite the fact she used to like me, she doesn't remember me. She doesn't know who I am. I wish she did, but maybe it's best if she locks those memories out. Even if they do contain me.
I walk into the living room. Enzo has taken a liking to Archer and is making him play LEGO's with him. Archer is sitting on the floor, putting pieces together as Enzo copies.
"Hi." I whisper.
"Mama." Enzo replies. "Mama, sit!"
I smile and walk over to them, sitting down next to them and crossing my legs. "What're you guys doing?"
"Making a city!" Enzo exclaims.
"Ooo. Where do we live in it?"
He points to the small, two story building that has small LEGO flowers on the outside. My heart warms. "I love it."
He giggles and crawls over to me, folding himself up on my lap. I wrap my arms around him as he continues to build stuff, then let out a loud yawn.
He looks at me. "You tired?"
"A little." I mumble.
"Mama, help." Enzo whispers. I lean down to put two LEGO pieces together for him, and he leans back against my stomach.
"You can go back to sleep, if you want." He offers. "I can look after him."
I smile. I'm about to say that it's fine when an unexpected wave of exhaustion hits me. I frown. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah." He says softly. "Go. We'll be fine. Won't we?" He asks Enzo, who nods idly as he plays with his toys.
"Okay." I take my son off my lap and set him next to me. I stand. "Thank you."
He smiles in response. I walk into the bedroom, then climb under the unmade sheets after closing the blackout curtains. I rest my head on the pillow, then shut my eyes. I fall asleep almost immediately.
•
When I wake up, I find that I can't get out of bed. I try to, want to, but I stay wrapped up in the duvet, staring at the wall.
I hear Enzo say something, and my heart clenches. I close my eyes, clenching them shut, and feign unconsciousness when the door to my bedroom opens.
"Lia." I hear Xander's low, gentle voice. I have hope that he'll leave when he doesn't say anything for a few seconds, however instead he walks closer to me and sits next to me on the bed, making the mattress dip. "Sweetheart," he whispers, "wake up."
I don't.
"Amalia." He says. When I still don't open my eyes he shakes my shoulder gently. "Come on. Open your eyes." Concern laces his tone, and I want to wake up and squash it but I don't have the energy. He sighs. "Do you want me to call dad?"
I turn away slowly, facing the opposite way. He sets a hand on my shoulder and rubs it in small circles. I hear him messaging someone, and guilt and shame and every (even remotely) negative emotion that exists fills me up until I feel worse. I sink under the covers, hiding beneath them like a coward.
"Lia." He says again. He sighs again when I don't say anything. "I'll be back in a moment, alright?"
He leaves, and I put my palms to my eyes and let my tears fall onto them.
I hate feeling like this.
•
"Amalia." My dad says. He sits beside me on the bed, but I don't look at him. I keep my eyes tightly shut. "Baby, when was the last time you took your medicine?" When I don't say anything, he stands again and walks out, returning a minute later. "It's not in the usual place. Where is it?" Another few moments pass, then: "I need you to tell me, sweetheart. Did you pick up your prescription?"
I shake my head.
"Okay." His voice is full of patience when he adds: "I'm gonna go get it for you. I'll be back soon."
I watch him leave my room, then fall back asleep when I hear the sound of the door closing, followed by my sons distant giggles.