I'm doing something wrong, but I don't know what it is. What could i have done that would hurt her so bad, that she wont even look at me?
I couldn't fall asleep last night, I tried to, but I couldn't. I have this thing where I can't physically fall asleep knowing I had upset someone.
I fiddle with my earring, taking quick glances at Lina who's laughing with Valentina. She didn't seem fine when I was attempting to talk to her.
It's something I did. No, its just you. Dante was right, she'd never choose me.
My heart skips a beat, my ears ring in my head. "Can I be a runway bride?" Michaels voice pulls me out of my unwanted thoughts.
I release the breath I've been holding at his stupidity.
"You signed up for this." I mutter,
He lets out a scoff, "Doesn't mean I want to marry a stuck up bitch who's so very full of herself."
"Okay well, my actual girl won't talk to me."
Michael immediately shuts his mouth, looking away from me. My breath hitches, "What?" I laugh in confusion. "You know something."
"Hm?" He hums, cocking a brow at me. "Is there something I'm supposed to know?" His tone is laced with confusion.
He's always been a good liar, if it weren't for the fact that they were together last night, I would've believed him.
"Is she mad at me?" I can't help but ask.
"Fuck if I know, man." He shrugs.
Every second I'm not with her, the more I begin to hate life. Call me crazy but being around Catalina makes my heart feel.. at ease.
I would never tell Nico, but you need to tell him.
The urge to know what they were talking about grows deeper. He would never tell me what? Lina doesn't want me anymore?
"Oh god." Micheal curses under his breath when he spots Angelina, his soon to be wife talking to my g— Lina.
He pushes off the wall, walking towards them. A smile makes its way onto my face when Lin rolls her eyes.
That's so Lina.
Angelina keeps pointing at her white dress, which is stupid. Lina isn't the only one wearing white, you're allowed to wear white. Angelina isn't even wearing white, she just doesn't like Lina.
"Tina is scolding her." Xav sighs from next to me, downing the drink he's holding. "Drama is overrated."
"I'll buy her flowers?" I mutter in question, furrowing my brows.
"Didn't you already do that?" He says, staring at me in confusion. Okay, I did do that. She never talked about it, did she even see the ring I bought her?
"So?"
Xavier shrugs, pulling his phone out. "This is exhausting, and it isn't even my problem."
I play with the chain on my neck, leaning against the wall. "It's my problem, it's exhausting, I hate it, and I don't know how to fucking deal with it because," I exhale the breath I've been holding. "I don't know what I did wrong."
My eyes fall to Lina who grips onto her purse for dear life. She shakes her head when Lana whispers something to her and Valentina fixes her hair.
I furrow my brows in confusion, her inhaler is in her purse. I know Lina, she wouldn't want anyone— random people to know she has asthma, she thinks it's a symbolization of weakness.
I swallow the lump in my throat, worry filling my veins.
I mutter a few curses under my breath when someone covers her figure. For fucks sake, he just had to stand there.
I immediately stand up, I start walking, wanting to go to Lina.
I tense when someone grips onto my shoulder, "Ah, Nicolas." an unfamiliar voice says,
I clench my jaw, not having time for this. I resist the urge to roll my eyes when I stare at lemon, Lana's father. "How do you know my name?" I furrow my brows, staring at him in disgust. He's very fucking short.
"Ahh" he sighs, "So many articles about your girlfriend, she likes to whore around"
I physically feel my blood burn. My jaw clenches to the point where I believe it might lock. "What the fuck did you say?" I hover above him.
He chuckles, patting the side of my shoulder. If I had no control over my anger, I'd go feral. I lower my face to his ear,"I'm not the one to cause problems,"
"but if my girl's name ever leaves your mouth, wether it's to me, or a stranger, things aren't going to be pretty," I stand up straight, a fake smile making it's way onto my face. "lemon." I finish my sentence with the sarcastic use of his name, pushing past his shoulder to walk away.
Oh god, the chest hair peeking out of his suit is driving me insane, he has more hair there than on his balding head.
I scan the room again, looking for Lina. I curse myself when I spot our whole ass friend group, just not her.
...
"It's been over 20 minutes, Nico. Even your flowers arrived." Xavier motions to the roses in my hands. "Go check on her." He finishes, draping an arm over valentines shoulder.
"Hi gorgeous." He grins, lowering his face to her forehead, pressing a kiss on it.
I glare at them "Don't be affectionate when I'm having a relationship crisis." I joke, feeling myself grow worried by the second for Lina.
I don't know if she's okay, but she also said that she didn't want to talk to me. I do want to respect her boundaries, I truly do, but a part of me can't help but stay worried for her.
"If it helps," I turn my head around back at Tina when her voice meets my ears. "she said she needed the bathroom, she might be fixing her make up?" She shrugs, worry lacing her tone.
Her asthma.
Her fucking asthma.
Fuck it.
I push of the wall, relaxing when I spot Michael. I grip onto his shoulder, "Where's the bathroom?" I ask quickly.
He points his head in a direction that leads into a hallway, which I follow. The voices slowly fade away, which relaxes me.
My whole body immediately tenses when I hear heavy breathing. The bathroom door opens aggressively, Lin.
She shrieks when she almost bumps into my chest, when I reach to touch her she takes two steps backwards, her back hitting the wall.
My heart skips a beat, what did I do?
"Lin?" My eyes fall down to her shaky hand, her makeup looking slightly different than it did before. "Are you o—" I don't even get to finish my sentence.
She sniffles, a nervous laugh escaping her. "Yeah, I'm fine." She clears her throat, fixing her dress. "What do you want?" Her tone is harsher than usual.
I really do want to make sure she's okay, I know she isn't, but if I keep asking Lina wouldn't like that.
"Oh— nothing um, I bought you flowers." I say, my voice coming out as a whisper. I hold up the bouquet of roses, showing it to her.
She looks away, shutting her eyes for a second before opening them. Lina looks back in my direction, her jaw clenching.
"Okay." She reaches out to take them away from me. "Was that all?" She avoids eye contact, rolling her tongue in the inside of her cheek.
Oh.
I feel my heart beat rapidly in my chest, it feels as if someone just dug their hands deeply into my soul, just for fun, and crushed.
"Talk to me." I plead, furrowing my brows in concern.
She looks away, breathing through her nose. "Nicolas, get the hint." My heart drops at her words. What? What is that supposed to mean? How bad did I fuck up? What did I do?
You know what? Say it, just say it.
When i say nothing, lina sighs, she attempt to walk away, but I cover her with my body, not touching her, just preventing her from moving. "What?" She mutters, blinking.
I take a deep breathe, "Lin, I love y—"
The flowers immediately drop to the floor. "No, no," she shakes her head in disbelief. "Stop, just stop talking." She turns her head away from me.
Please no, please.
Why am I such a hard person to love?
"What am I doing wrong?" I laugh in disbelief, dropping my hands.
"You, just you, everything to do with you!" She shuts her eyes, taking two steps away from me.
My heart beats skips a beat.
I think I need my pills, I can't do this. "Why.." I swallow the lump in my throat, holding back everything that wants to escape.
"Why don't you care?" My breath hitches.
I blink, wishing this was a dream I'd wake up from and my girl would be in my arms.
"You don't get it." She grits out. "I can't love someone like you." She says it as if it's a bad thing, is it?
I let out a painful laugh, "Someone like me? What the hell is that supposed to mean, lin?" I regret the use of her nickname as soon as it leaves my mouth.
My whole body feels weak.
Why would she do that? Act as if I'm important to her, someone she'd love, then just leave. It hurts.
I pick on my nails, dreading the question that's going to leave my mouth. "Am I not enough?"
I glance at the random purple mark on her wrist, worry consuming me. "No, you're not. Is that what you want to hear, huh?" She taunts, taking a step forward.
I harshly pick on the skin of my nail, feeling a strange sort of feeling in my heart. I've never felt it, but I hate it.
I tense when I hear a flowers stem snap. I glance at lina who has no emotion on her face, whatsoever.
"Why are you like this?" I argue, slightly raising my voice. "What did I ever do to you?"
"Exist!" She whisper yells, dropping her hands.
As soon as that word leaves her mouth, something hits my chest. "Oh." I whisper, feeling my head grow dizzy.
I don't wait for her to say anything, mostly because I know it's going to hurt. I turn around to walk away, my heart feeling unwantedly heavy.
I focus on my breathing, hating how much control she has over me. She either ruins me, or heals me. That's the problem, there's no in between.
I stare at my shaky hand, my ability to breathe growing worse. Sometimes I wonder why exist too.
...
This was really funny sorry.☺️