( FAYE )
yet another bundle of months pass by with no contact with sadie. this has occurred once before, it's not all that surprising.
what's surprising is that this time, marcus is apart of the equation.
it's been three months since i last had a conversation with him, someone who genuinely brings me happiness.
he did try initiating a confrontation once, which finn shut down for me.
( FINN )
the ding sound leads me to rush down the staircase, finding a frowning tall silhouette standing at the doorstep.
"hey... is faye here? she uh- she won't answer my texts or calls" he scratches the back of his head.
my tone is frosty. "yeah, she's here"
"okay, thanks"
he leans forward to enter, just as i push him back. "woah, hold on there"
he narrows his eyes. "sorry? i thought i could-"
"i said she's here. i didn't say she wants to talk to you, did i?"
"look" he sighs. "just let me apologise, please"
the remorse in his voice is slightly evident, yet it doesn't affect me a bit.
i cross my arms. "apologise? you think you can just waltz in here and apologize after what you did?"
marcus winces at my sharp words. "i know i messed up, but atleast let me try to fix it"
"you wanna fix it?" my eyes flicker with anger. "then leave. the last thing faye needs right now is to see you"
i slam the door shut, breathing out before wandering back up the carpeted stairs.
( FAYE )
a few days after that, i finally found the strength to send sadie a conclusive message, marking the end of our connection.
permanently this time.
i made sure to reach out to our mutual friends, ensuring that we won't be caught in a resort situation again.
i can't keep getting pushed back into her world, i really can't.
sadie
it's best that
we don't talk to
one another anymore
faye
please
hear me out for a second
no
i'm actually so
fucking done with this
i'm so sorry please
please please let me explain
i swear this was a mistake
you sure make a lot of mistakes
i do
i'm so sorry
i'm trying so hard
to change please faye
i'm trying to change for you
you've said this all before
come up with new lines
listen
i know that i'm horrible
i don't deserve you
but i just need you to understand
i've understood enough
bye sadie
don't contact me anymore
i'm serious
— ★ —
"i wish i had something like luke and lorelai do" finn groans.
he and i lay in my bed, nibbling on semi-burnt toast while binging gilmore girls on my laptop.
a massive part of my self growth plan is this. just spending hours with finn, rewatching shows we've practically memorised at this point.
"i don't think that exists in real life" i sigh, patting his head as a gesture of sympathy.
"i need a job"
finn furrows his brows, chuckling at my sudden comment. "yeah?"
"i can't live off of you forever"
he shrugs. "who says you can't?"
i sigh. "finn, i'm serious"
"okay" he nods, switching the tab.
"what are you doing?"
"well, instead of lying around complaining, let's try actually looking for something"
— ★ —
i sit infront of my laptop, carefully typing up a resume. i proudly click submit on the application, crossing my fingers.
finn had helped me find a job offer at a digital marketing agency. it's not the most high-paying option, but it's good enough for now.
within a few moments, i receive a call from the interviewer.
i take a deep breath prior to answering the call.
"we couldn't help but notice your resume" the gentle voice speaks. "where you mentioned exorcism under your skills, can you tell us more about that?"
i shut my eyes in embarrassment, trying to laugh it off.
"oh, i'm sorry, that was a typo. it meant to say exercise"
— ★ —
i prepare for the zoom interview, switching on my camera, only for finn to appear in the background filming a tiktok.
i desperately mute my video, unable to do anything else about the situation.
"is everything okay there?" the interview tilts her head, catching a view of my surroundings.
i nod, gritting my teeth through a smile.
excuse me for a moment i type out in the chat, switching my camera off before turning around with a scowl.
"the one time you make a tiktok!" i shout, causing him to flinch.
he furrows his brows at me before shifting his attention to my screen, his eyes widening. he silently mouths an apology and exits.
"so, fayla! tell us why we should hire you, uh... fayla"
i let out a nervous chuckle. "it's faye, actually"
"mhm. fayla" the lady nods, shifting the position of her glasses.
i stammer for a moment. "uh- okay"
in the midst of the interview, poppy suddenly jumps onto my lap, flipping the laptop upside down.
"are you... on the ceiling?" the lady squints her eyes.
i exhale, fixing the position of my screen.
"alright... fayla, it was nice hearing from you" she starts. "we'll get back to you soon"
i force a smile, knowing exactly what that means.
"yeah, thank you for your time"
i press the alluring red button, sighing in both relief and defeat as the useless thirty minute interview comes to an end.
— ★ —
"how'd it go?"
i respond with nothing but a groan, causing finn to nod in understanding.
"seems about right" he sighs.
i plop down onto the couch, leaning against his side. "why is it like this?"
"you know what i think?"
"hm?" i glance up.
his lips form a smile. "you need a job related to something you actually like"
"i like coffee" i shrug.
"no" he chuckles. "not a waitress again, please"
i roll my eyes. "you got a better idea?"
he pauses for a moment, his smile growing wider.
"yes, actually"
— ★ —
i sit nervously in the reception area, flipping through my sketchbook where some doodles of the company's logo stand out.
the interview catches my attention.
"hello, faye" she shoots me a smile as i stand up.
"oh my god! yes, that's my name!" i gasp.
i quickly realise how nonsensical i sound to her, shaking my head with a slight chuckle.
"oh... sorry, my last inter- uh, nevermind"
she slowly nods, forcing out a laugh. "okay!"
"welcome to artscape. we're excited to see your portfolio"
i follow her into a hallway filled with vibrant artwork, certainly much more organised than the walls of my room.
the display mesmerises me to such an extent that i walk right into an easel, sending a canvas crashing to the floor.
a gasp escapes my lips as my legs guide me a few steps back. "oh- i'm sorry!"
"no harm done" the interviewer smiles. "come in"
i nervously take a seat infront of the woman in a stunning chair. even the chairs feel artistic.
"tell us about a time when you had to communicate a specific concept through illustrations"
i'm about to answer, i know i can answer, yet my nerves cause me to fumble with the sketchbook on my lap.
charcoal pencils fall out from it, filling the oddly silent room with clatters as they hit the marble floor.
"well uh" i gesture towards the floor. "i guess you could call that a visual representation of my creativity"
the interviewer smiles. "artists have their quirks, it's all part of the process. please continue"
strangely, her encouragement leads me to regain my composure, focusing on my answers.
in the interview, i'm able to convey my true feelings without the need to exaggerate my accomplishments or skills, or pretend to be at a higher level than i really am.
it's certainly a progress from whatever that last interview was.
"what do you think distinguishes your style as an illustrator?"
in an attempt to emphasise my style, i once more knock something over, this time hitting the grand jackpot, art books.
"oh god" i exhale. "i swear i don't always throw everything everywhere. i don't know why this is happening"
my comment earns a laugh from the interview. a good sign.
"again, no harm" she grins.
i leave the art studio with a sense of accomplishment.
i may have had a rough start, but my love for art combined with my storytelling abilities managed to win the interviewer over.
i'm excited about the possibility of getting to work here. it would definitely be a significant change, but a positive one.
and sometimes, change is needed.
★ authors note ,,
just a faye chapter
#selfgrowth