The pain that you feel
Neyeon: "Jackson, can you tell me whom you love?" Neyeon asks with anticipation, as her eyes gaze at the male standing beside her. How can she be so in love just by one sight? How can a strict character as her meltdown so easily? Love is it?
Jackson: "He is my best friend. Kim Taehyung." Jackson says the things in a daze as his mind seems muddled with troubles. The name was not uttered intentionally. He knows he is hurting the younger lady, but he has no way to help him up.
Realization dawn's on neyeon, Kim taehyung. So, her mate is in love with him. A bitter smile blooms on her lips, melancholic yet touches of humor at her fate. Should she hate Taehyung now? But, can she? Can she turn her back to the man who helped her up when she went down for a moment?
Neyeon: "You are perfect best friends I see."
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The car stops midway, traffic lights turning the vibrant crimson, causing him to abstain from having a smooth journey to home. The submissive alpha peeks through the half-tinted window as the crowded road comes to the sight of his naked eye.
Growing up working since early teenage years, he has never liked traffic, he wonders if he is exceptional when it comes to the feelings of adults regarding traffic.
He misses Jiyi a lot. Few hours though, it seems he has not hugged his child for several years. A smile finds its place on his lips as he remembers the days with Jiyi when she was just 5 years old. In between all the struggles he had back then, she was a major source of sanity for him, a large reason for his existent will to live and survive.
His chain of thoughts comes to a halt as his belly churns up. A wringing sensation fills him up as he coughs out gravely. Loud, painful, and exhausting. It feels as if all his energy is being drained out. The cough doesn't stop, so, does the grave churn in his belly.
The cough continues until the driver asks about his health out of obvious concern. Panting hard, still holding his stomach to hang in while the pain passes away, he replies with an affirmative nod. It hurts like hell.
His phone rings that moment as his current favorite song comes to his ears as the ringtone. "Neyeon", says the caller ID revealing the identity of the caller. He receives the call, forgetting the pain as it slowly disappears like it never happened.
Tae: "Hello?"
Neyeon: "He loves you."
Silent moments pass by as no one speaks. Startled, shocked by the sudden statement he is forced to be speechless, unsettled a bit as he struggles to find words to deliver.
Neyeon: "Come on now. I won't go and hate you for it. No one can control love." Her voice is light, showing how genuine her emotion is. She doesn't hate, but she is jealous of Tae, jealous of the fact that he gets what she wants. Jackson's love.
Neyeon: "You know, you must help me get him. I will attack you with my needle otherwise." He smiles at her funny nature, knowing very well she is sad, but not broken yet, jealous but not disgusted with him.
Tae: "I don't like needles."
Neyeon: "So you better help me."
Tae: "I will. I promise. You are the best for him. Believe me, he will be 20X happier when he gets you."
Neyeon: "Thank you."
Tae: "No, thank you."
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He reaches his home late for the traffic not wanting to dissipate had held him stuck like a hostage of time. Sitting idle too causes exhaustion, he knows it does and he isn't ready to believe any other explanation.
He caused Jackson to force himself away from normal life. Jackson deserves the best and so does neyeon. But it's just because of his stupid self that the two destined souls are made to remain separate. A pang of guilt crosses him. He knows he can't and couldn't do anything about it. He can't control other's live, neither can he dictate fate. But his petty self continues to blame himself for all the struggles that his friends are facing.
But, another problem soon knocks on the door of his life. Regretfully though, he craves suppressants now, his tongue aches for the bitter liquid to flow down his throat as his esophagus feels dry. He feels a sudden thirst conquering him. Water, juice, nothing works, he tries every edible beverage he has near him, but his thirst just seems to increase.
Remembering suddenly, the remedy for this, he stops wandering around. Jungkook had given him a gum that is to be chewed when craving the addictive pills, but his feet seem wobbly as he tries to climb the stairs up. Vision blurring more every passing second his interiors feels barren, dry, lifeless.
A similar feeling of churn returns. His stomach hurts, the body loses all the energy as he falls on the floor unceremoniously. Panting hard, struggling to breathe, his eyes tear up with pain, he opens his mouth for yelling, screaming out for help but his voice is stuck, his tongue feels tangled, his consciousness starts to slip to absence as his remaining sanity reminds him he has a phone in his pocket.
He searches up a familiar number as he fights against unconsciousness. A ring or two is all it takes for his eyes to close, his senses completely resting in the insensate part of his mind.
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The submissive alpha lays on the bed, sound asleep, calm, away from all the tainted entities on earth. His consciousness returns as he slowly blinks his eyes open, the first thing to see is his room. Confused at first, he scratches his head, only to find a wet cloth patched upon his forehead. Memories of what happened earlier come back to him in flashes.
The pain he felt, the lack of air, the shortness of breathes, the times he thought he won't make it to life. It was deadly.
A teardrop trickles down his suave features accompanied by several after it, his eyes flood with tears, he didn't like what he felt, he felt lonely and bad. It hurt too much to his liking and he wants to complain, he wants it to go away.
His tears don't see their journey as the submissive alpha is engulfed in a bone-crushing hug. His face is buried in the other's strong chest muscles as he cries to his heart's content.
The smell of mint and sandalwood calms him down, helping him relax and complain if everything he thinks is bad. He embraces the other man tightly as he relishes the warmth delivered to him.
Jungkook strokes his hair, wanting the other to cry out every fear he faced, his fear melting down like ice in fire, binding him up for greater challenges ahead.
"It's bad. It's scary. Please take it away. I don't like it." Tae states with teary eyes, the tear streams being wiped off by the younger. While complaining like a child about what he is scared of, he is given comfort that he still lingers on to.
Jungkook's one arm still entangled with the other, he strokes the taller's back assuring support. The older enjoying the warmth with closed eyes.
"What happened to me?" Tae asks after a while, his mature adult self slowly returning as the whiney Tae goes away.
"Nothing much. You were in a rut." Jungkook undoes the other's top buttons after releasing the hug, as he wipes the sweat off the submissive alpha's forehead.
"Ruts never hurt this much." Tae states the sentence more to himself as the younger continues to attend to him.
Jk: "You used to take suppressants then. You don't know." He proceeds to measure the other's temperature, wanting to make sure the fever has gone down.
Tae: "Oh." Silence befalls the two as the shorter male concludes no concerning rise in temperature. Keeping the water bowl away, he sets the soft fringes of the older. His actions being traced by the tae, he connects their eyes. A tender smile on his lips and Tae is melted down to solace.
Jk: "Hungry?"
Tae: "A bit."
Jk: "Let me bring you food then."
Tae: "Did you eat? What about Jiyi?"
Jk: "We are done." A white lie can't hurt him. For now, Jungkook will need a lot of time to settle his inner storm down.
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Jungkook reaches the kitchen hurriedly as he staggers until reaching the table for support. Slowly reaching the chair he sits on it to not fall further to the floor.
Everything, every time, everywhere, he gets the shock when Tae is the way he was today. No matter how much his mind curses himself for not concealing the fear till the very end, he doesn't pass. At least he doesn't falter in front of tae. To get a sudden call from Tae on his phone, receiving it with excitement, and hearing nothing but silence has become grave torture. Worried sick, he had stepped down from the room he was in as the little kid demand to be put to sleep with stories.
Fortunately, she was asleep by the time he had received the call. To come out and witness your special person laying on the ground, unconscious. It's scary. Reminding himself of the situation in the art gallery, he had tried his best to help the other. He succeeded.....maybe. The thoughts break him more, thus, they shall be impermissible. Shaking his head to throw the uncomfortable thoughts out, he prepares a bowl of the food that he cooked.
He allows himself to relax before entering the room again, schooling his emotions, taming his ears, and stabilizing his steps he enters the room with a complete subjugated version of himself.
Smiling at the older, the dinner is served by him. The dinner ends as the older finds his place of convenience in the strong arms of the younger. Melting in the other's stronghold, basking in his warmth, soaking in the obvious and genuine expression of infatuation, the night of tae meets the dawn with happiness, the sun sees the smile, the day finds the two figures tangled together. One asleep, transiently unaware of the harsh complexities of the outer world, another enveloping the sleeping figure, giving him his world of assurance.
Birds chirping in their glory of wings, flying across the sky, ornamented with feathers of beauty, the skyline, splintered with frosted menaces.
9 days left in opening of my university. Will be updating more so I can complete this book before my classes start 😮💨😓
Author N-Tk 𐤀