Pablo will probably remember this day for the rest of his life. A day that will haunt him like an eternal nightmare for the rest of his life. Sitting here in the hospital wing, the walls of which were blindingly white, Gavi tried not to blame himself for what happened a couple of hours ago. So far it hasn't worked out well.
He turned eighteen. Oh, how Pablo was happy. He has plans. He will pass his license and can go to clubs with friends. Coming of age actually opened up a ton of opportunities. Gavira was truly happy. The guy just recently returned from a tour of America with his team. These were completely new emotions and the sensations were simply indescribable. He was ready to start training again with renewed vigor in order to prove himself even more. But this meant that he would again see Sarah constantly.
Sarah. It was so strange to think about her, and even stranger to say her name, even to himself. Sarah Hernandez Santana. During his entire absence, Gavi did not say a word to her, and this seemed absolutely normal. But for some reason he was ashamed to even just look into her eyes. While he was in America, the guy saw how her team played and how well they did without her. He understood perfectly well that at one moment all this would break her into pieces, and it would be impossible to fix anything, but he still did not want to interfere. And now he was struggling with a feeling of shame. As if it was his fault that she was suspended. Nonsense.
Pablo was afraid to see her. Every time he and Sarah did not see each other for too long (and for them, as for people accustomed to involuntarily seeing each other every single day, absolutely any period of time was considered long), the guy noticed some changes in her that frightened and delighted simultaneously. And he really didn't like catching himself in the strange thought that he was looking at her. Nonsense, more nonsense.
But he saw her earlier than on his birthday. The news that Sarah was reinstated, albeit in disgrace, completely interrupted all the excitement of his coming of age. And no matter how interested Pablo was in her appearance, no matter how much he wanted to see her, he remembered why he hated her. Because she was always the center of attention. And sometimes he even liked it.
Sarah looked more confident than before.
Even for Pablo it was noticeable. He liked the way the new uniform fit on her, and for some reason the leg warmers were shorter today than usual, exposing the tanned skin of her legs. She would be a charm if it weren't for the demons jumping in her eyes. He saw her as Hernandez tied her locks of hair with a tight elastic band as she entered the field where a friendly match between the women's team of "Barcelona" and "PSG" took place. Of course, this is not how Pablo expected to spend his coming of age, but still.
She smiled at him. Not the way he expected. Cold and distant. They have fallen back to where they started this summer. Is this really true? Will... will they really hate each other again?
Sarah played completely differently, favoring her style of play too much over everyone else. It was not clear whether training with men's team influenced her that much, but the difference was very obvious. It was very strange that Fran returned her so soon after their arrival, and even put her in the attacking midfielder position - practically what she craved. Now everyone has brought it on a silver platter special for her, but why? Pablo did not always dare to voice his thoughts out loud, so now he decided to remain silent.
She scored a goal. Pablo feels a warmth spreading inside him because of how pleasant these emotions are to him. The boy jumps up from his seat along with the rest of the crowd and begins to applaud vigorously. Only now the girl celebrated the goal in a completely different way, not at all the way Gavi would have done if he had been in her place. Her face does not express any emotion, as if this was some ordinary action. Sarah runs up to the stands, just to the sector where Pablo was sitting. His legs begin to cramp from nervousness.
She bows. So that it seemed that it was impossible to bend. The girl quickly found Pablo's gaze and did not take her eyes off him for a second while she bowed. Of course, it was strange to suppose that this gesture was intended for him, but the guy was one hundred percent sure. Like she wanted to mock him and thank him at the same time. Pablo felt like he was ready to collapse just from the realization of what was happening.
Nonsense.
He liked to celebrate his birthday with his family, even without friends. But the Hernandezes were also his family, albeit a very peculiar one, but still. Pablo actually loved them very much, although he rarely showed anything. Looking at his reflection in the mirror, the guy imagined tonight. Both families will gather here, everyone will congratulate him, and everything will be just wonderful. Inside, delight slowly spread through the veins, and goosebumps ran across the skin. He had been waiting for this for so long.
Belen took him to put on his shirt, and Pablo constantly pulled back the collar, which was pressing his throat a little. They had to wait for the guests in more or less decent form, so they had to endure it. For some reason, while waiting, Pablo was annoyed by these unobtrusive kisses on the top of the head and pats on the shoulders. The guy could barely hold on so as not to simply run away. The minutes before the guests' arrival dragged on treacherously long, and the whole situation began to become tense.
The Hernandez family arrived soon. Eric entered the house first, holding a huge package in his hands and laughing cheerfully. It was probably a gift. The elder Hernandez looked very charming: velvet trousers, dark long sleeve, shoes. His mother didn't even have to try to make him look decent, unlike Belen, who even now couldn't persuade her son to change out of his favorite sneakers. Pablo hugged his friend and thanked him and then he turned his attention to his parents, but immediately discovered a very funny detail.
Sarah was not there.
He chuckled to himself, trying not to show his excitement. So, now everything is like this, right? Pablo thought that everything would be different now, at least not too bad, but apparently they were back at the starting point again. The guy could barely resist hitting himself on the forehead. Strange thoughts that haunted him drove him into a silent frenzy.
Stop pretending you don't care.
She appeared literally a second later, and
Pablo began to hate everything, including himself. Impulsive emotions drove him crazy and made him lose control, which was definitely not necessary in such a situation. He did not understand why he was literally thrown from side to side on an emotional swing, back and forth, endlessly. Even more, he did not understand what he should feel. It was always easier to hate her than to try to understand her. This is what he intended to do.
— Take my apologizes, please. — the girl mumbled, fastening the clasp of her sandal on her foot. — I tried to wrap your gift properly.
A special gift? From Sarah? Pablo arches an eyebrow in surprise, but maintains an indifferent expression. At least he's trying. Hernandez pulls him close, playfully touches his cheek with her lips, leaving a light trace of lipstick. It became impossible to breathe, absolutely, as if the air was rarefied, as if at a great height. Whether it was the fact that she was so close or just her touch seemed so strange and unnatural, but Pablo felt as if everything inside him was being turned inside out. It is not right. Unacceptable. She mocks him, trying to appear nice and hiding how she really feels. Pablo believed he didn't deserve it. He pushes her away easily, trying to force out some semblance of a smile.
— What kind of gift is there that you couldn't do it in advance, huh? — the guy forces himself to start mocking her so that everything returns to its rightful place. It really was easier to hate her. — I hope it's not your friend's stinking T-shirts or something even worse.
It's a bastard joke, but even that will do for now.
— Well, open it and check it, idiot. — Sarah, shooting sparks from her eyes, literally throws this unfortunate package at Pablo and flies past him into the living room. Those words didn't hurt her. It was just easier that way.
Having caught the disapproving glance of his parents, Pablo guiltily lowers his eyes to the gift that Sarah has prepared for him. While everyone went into the living room to begin the feast, the guy sank to the floor, trying to suppress the growing feeling of shame within himself. Maybe it really wasn't necessary like that? Okay, at least there is an opportunity to see what's inside her present. Gavira dumped the red box on the floor, immediately tearing the packaging aggressively. He will look and if something happens he will immediately throw it away. In essence, for him, this gift decided what he should do next.
Hate or try to fix something.
Pablo had never asked himself such a question before. Hate was the only option. She is his rival, always has been and always will be. But is it bad... to be friends with your rivals?
It's terrible, but he was terribly curious.
Gavira covered his mouth with his large hand when he saw the contents of the box. Beautiful boots, with spectacular scarlet inserts and burgundy laces, on each side there was an inscription, in Latin, as Pablo assumed.
Aut vincere, aut mori.
The guy was not strong in English, much less in Latin. He didn't know whether it meant something or just a set of letters that ended up on the shoes during the production process. Believing that the girl deliberately bothered herself for his sake was a very bad idea, because it was easier to hate.
It's not any easier.
Pablo puts his gift aside, hiding it behind the other packages, and returns to everyone else. The boy sits down right next to Sarah because, what a coincidence, it was the only empty seat. And it would be better if he asked to change seats, because it was real torture: to sit and not even turn in her direction. She did the same thing, but Pablo could not give in to her.
— Sorry, — after a while Sarah raised her voice and loudly pushed back her chair. — I'll leave you for a while.
The girl touches Pablo with her shoulder and literally runs away from the living room; the sound of her heels clicking on the stairs echoes in the room. The guy clenches his palms into fists, trying to figure out for himself what is best to do.
And he couldn't think of anything better than to just follow her.
Sarah sat on Aurora's bed, trying to unfasten her sandal, but in the end she only hysterically tugged at the clasp. It seemed that at some point she would definitely tear it off. Pablo quietly leans his elbows on the door frame, but he had no intention of waiting for the girl to pay attention to him.
— What does it mean? — he asks confidently, and Sarah immediately turns, arching an eyebrow questioningly. — Aut
vincere, out mori.
— Either win or die.
Hernandez slowly rises from the bed, not caring about the clasp that was in a suspended state, and approaches the door. She desperately wanted to leave, even run away from here, and so she walks past him without stopping for a second. The guy catches up with her near the stairs.
— Why are you acting like this?
Sarah wanted to laugh in his face. But she just turns around, maintaining an emotionless expression on her face.
— And how I behave, it's interesting. — she drawls, leaning on the wall. Everything around them slowly tensed up, returning to the same state as half an hour ago. They can not breathe. Again.
— You pretend that you hate me. — Pablo didn't know where he had so much confidence at that moment, but he decided to use every bit of it to win. Either win or die. — We both know that this is not so.
Nonsense.
— That's right, Pablo. — the girl spits out when he began to slowly approach. — I hate you. I hate you more than you can even imagine.
I hate you. Gavira feels how everything inside him sinks.
— Do you hate me?
— Did you think that a friendship might someday arise between us? — Sarah grins, although everything inside her is lumpy. — This is absurd. And you yourself ruined everything. When I wanted to meet you halfway, you threatened that you would tell everyone about the suspension, and you knew how worried I was about it. You made that stupid tackle at damn practice and I cried all night because that's exactly what you did at my sixteen, Pablo. I couldn't walk normally for 2 damn months. And I still haven't completely let go of those terrible memories that you brought back with one thoughtless movement. And I still thought everything was fine, you know? I thought we could communicate normally. But you are leaving for America, and your trace is gone. Oh God, you never even wrote to my mother, what can I say about me. And after that you want to be friends?
He grabs her wrist, shaking her a little to get her to finally shut up.
— And you are a saint among us, as I can see. White and fluffy. — a hysterical laugh escapes his lips. — Don't you notice yourself, huh? You started taking away my friends, my fucking friends. Fermin, Alex, Ansu-
— They are my friends too, Pablo. — Hernandez blatantly interrupts him. — Stop acting like a fucking child, grow up already.
It was unpleasant. It was as if she had hit him, slapped him in the face. And it would be better if she brought him physical pain than continued to spit poison. Sarah pulls her hand away and pushes him away from her. Again. It seemed that she would always push him away, all her life, and there would simply be no end to this. Pablo felt how despair overwhelm him.
— Sarah, that's enough. — he practically begged. — Please.
— I hate you!
She runs down the steps, trying to hide from him, but at some point she is seriously let down by an unfastened clasp.
The girl twists her leg and rolls down.
Pablo forgot how to breathe. He sees Eric running up to her and helping her to stand up, but the girl grabs her leg. All eyes are directed upward, to where the guy stood. He still couldn't realize that this was really happening.
Is it all because of him?
— What are you doing here? — Sarah's words brought Pablo out of his trance, and he immediately jumped up from the bench.
Hernandez was leaning on crutches, which was a little difficult because she was not used to it. Seeing her in the hospital wing was simply unnatural, as if there was something wrong. This was wrong. Footballers rarely managed to get injured off the field, and especially under such circumstances.
— I-I wanted to apologize. — Pablo mumbles. — If I hadn't come to annoy you, this wouldn't have happened.
— I hope now you finally understand that I was right. — the girl exhales tiredly, falling onto the bench. — No friendship, Pablo Gavira.
It was always easier to hate.