For a long while, as long as she possibly could, she held her breath, keeping his words away from her heart. Away from the rational part of her brain that had the power to process them and break the loose threads of relationships she had built in these years around her.
A draft of cold, biting winds passed through the air, and leaving several goosebumps on her arms while breaking her resolve to keep the words at bay from affecting her.
They shot through her chest like sharp-edged arrows, piercing through the skin and filling her with disdain, shame, and chagrin. It was like flipping through the pages of a book full of her nightmares, screaming reminders of her worth in the eyes of people she had been forgetful of. Hearing those cruel words, she had often found in lurking whispers even before she had learned to walk.
Uncomfortable, humiliating, and then all at once stabbing. Because it was her past, the reality that she had lived once. Because it followed wherever she walked.
Orphan- someone who had no one in this world.
A tag that would forever remain engraved on her soul, that doesn't just disappear.
"You have lost your mind." Anirudh had yanked Rakshit on his feet, pushing him away from her. As physically as possible, yet he couldn't take away the pain that she felt from his accusations. "Do you realize what you are enunciating with those questions of yours? You are blaming Dhwani for whatever Shreya did to herself."
"But, bhai, she was with her..."
"So what?" Anirudh snapped at him, looking at him incredulously as if he couldn't recognize the brother he had come here for. "Does that mean Dhwani should have left her back in the pretense of ignoring her existence when they met? Are you implying that, just because Dhwani could have her revenge on Shreya for every insult she threw her way, she would hurt her to the extent of pushing her here?"
"I mean she could...?" Rakshit trailed glancing her way with something Dhwani couldn't understand.
Was it doubt? Distrust?
"I don't understand what you mean anymore, Rakshit nor I will be waiting around to see you blame my wife for something a person does to herself. What she did, was self-harm and none could instigate her. Not until she has made up her mind for doing it." Anirudh announced, pissed at his brother he turned his back to him and took hold of her palm yanking her to her feet. "Me and my wife are leaving."
She recoiled at the word, flinching with the mere utterance of Anirudh's words that brought vulnerable hot tears to burn behind her eyes. She tried the words the out but pursed her lips until she could find her voice to be stable again. "She...she was not...herself. She was disturbed when I stumbled upon her. I thought leaving her alone...was not right?"
"You don't need to explain yourself, Petal." His once raged, steely eyes that glared harshly towards Rakshit, met her's.
She watched how they softened slightly when he took in her face like the way he looked at her was different from how he looked at others. He held trust in his eyes. Trust for her.
The small realization was the last hold on the tears that she had always kept at bay, this time she had set them free and relieved herself from the constant burning she felt each time she couldn't let them out.
"You did nothing wrong." He whispered cajoling her. His thump rubbed the lone tear away and she blinked to not let anymore out. "You would never hurt anyone. I know."
"No, no. I didn't mean it that way." Rakshit was on his feet, shame crawling up his face but Anirudh blocked her vision to him.
"Do not talk to her." He gritted without sparing him a glance. He gently tugged on her arm and she stood up while he announced. "We are leaving."
"No, Bhai. Please." He tried stopping them. "You cannot leave me alone. I need you here."
"You don't need anyone, Rakshit Chauhan." Anirudh snorted, glancing behind his shoulder he looked square in the same shade of eyes. "You are a grown-up who can handle his own mess, so, do excuse me."
"For her, you will leave me?" Rakshit asked hurt.
"She is my wife." Anirudh gritted stopping at the threshold.
"The one you were planning to divorce?"
She clutched her eyes shut as the contempt from those words settled in.
"No." His jaw clenched tightly, so did the hold on her palm. "The one I was planning to never let go."
The door slammed shut behind them and Anirudh pulled her through the empty corridor. She was thankful that he did because her blurry vision would have made it impossible for her to walk.
The cold bristling air hit them with full force yet her face felt hot. She shifted closer towards him, reducing the distance in between.
The first onslaught of tears was quick to follow as the darkness obstructed their vision, his vision of hers. They reached the front of the car and the sob broke through her lips halting his fingers on the handle.
"Dhwani?" His tender voice made her bite back another one. "Hey, are you crying?"
She tried shaking her head but felt his palms cupping her head and she leaned into him.
"You need to stop crying, petal." He whispered to her, holding her as if she was a fragile doll who would break.
Not that she wasn't breaking. She was being tattered into shreds as the happening registered.
Did she lose Rakshit over a small misunderstanding?
He was a brother she never had. The one she had truly cared for and adored in these past years. The first person to welcome her with warm hugs and Chesire grins, funny jokes, and an all-time protective stance. He was more than a brother-in-law to her. A best friend, her secret bearer, her first child whom she had always pampered, played, and partnered with.
"Dhwani, do you hear me?" He was speaking but her blurry vision made it impossible for her to make out his face, "God, no! Please don't be like this."
She buried her face in his shoulder as he held her, holding onto what she was left with. All that she could think was needed. His arms provided the reassurance of not losing her protection. She needed that space between them, the cocoon of warmth that would stop the icy chills from hurting her. She wanted him to hold her and whisper affirmations to her. She wanted to hear that this was not a long night, that the day would be here soon.
She needed Anirudh at this moment and she could do nothing to deny this pull. She willed herself, reminding her mind to act and push him away yet her senses prolonged and let her stay there.
"I am here, petal. I am here." He kept whispering to her. "You can talk to me, or not but don't cry. I have never seen you cry, don't make me see it today."
"I...I lost..." She couldn't complete it. Uttering those words would make it true and she still wished it was all a bad dream.
"Rakshit is just being a child." He grumbled. "The moment he realizes the blunder he created he will come back running to you like always, I promise. Please stop crying."
"Really?" She asked, the crocked voice made him push her back and wipe her face with a soft cotton handkerchief.
"Yes. He will come to you." He stated with conviction "And, if does not, I will bring him to you yanking him by ears. Do you trust me?"
She nodded her head. She believed him.
Long gone was the man who never spared a glance to her, he was someone whose eyes kept following her anywhere she went.
He was a different man.
"I am sorry." She mumbled after a while, clearing her throat and eyeing his t-shirt with tear stains.
"Why are you sorry?" He asked bewildered, frown lines marring his forehead as he followed her line of sight.
"I ruined your clothes"
"Are you kidding me, Petal?"
She shook his head ignoring his question and pulled herself away from him. "You shouldn't have left him alone. I will go, don't worry about me."
He gritted his teeth and pushed her against the door, caging her between him and his favorite. "Why do you think I will go back again to that idiot?"
"You...you care for him." She held his gaze, not letting her voice falter thinking about his firm hold on her upper arms or the cold glass pressing against her spine.
A scoff marred his features and he held her nape in his hand, pressing her deeper into the car. "Do you think I care about anyone but you right now?"
"I don't know." She said wiggling to create some space lest he made sure she failed as he leaned closer. His breath fanning against her forehead as again those veiny arms pulled her to his chest. Rubbing smooth circles on her back she let out a small hum in question.
"This should be known to you, Petal." He affirmed. "You should know that I would side with no one if not you. We are not two strangers who could walk away when the time gets tough, we are linked to each other. We are connected to each other in a way that either direction one moves, the other will be pulled to them. We are two fated individuals who had to meet, whose lives would have entangled together in one way or another. If we hadn't met through GM, we would have bumped on some street or in front of a restaurant, while rounding a corner or passing through a gate but we would have met."
"Meet for what? So that we could walk away later?" She let those creeping doubts out.
"No." He shook his head, chuckling. "To meet again and again and again until we would start searching for the other person wherever we go till the people around us would start looking for another person after meeting one."
"That is not...not true." She denied averting her eyes away from him and focusing on the reflection of the streetlight that brightened the parking space, flickering at different intervals.
"What is not true?" He asked cupping her face to make her look back at him. "The possibility of something like that happening in a parallel universe or your reluctance to acknowledge us?"
She shook her head pushing on his chest. "I...I can't think. You are too close."
"I cannot step back now, Dhwani." He didn't mean the distance and she knew it far too well. "We would have wanted it or not, but now, we are at the stage that walking separate ways doesn't come to me, it being difficult would be an understatement we both can agree upon."
"It is not impossible." She started with staggering defiance, holding her breath to hear his reply.
"It is." He stated with finality. "The only difference here is that I can speak it out loud while you keep denying it for even yourself."
He wasn't wrong.
The old Dhwani would have denied it out loud but this her, she couldn't speak her thoughts because they were jumbled. Her brain was lost between thousands of thoughts that had crippled her intellect to make a decision.
Deciding between staying and leaving was never hard before, but it is today.
It was he who made it difficult for her.
This man- Anirudh Chauhan had made everything difficult for her.
Breathing in this close proximity with him was one of them.
"Fine. Yes, it is impossible. I said it." She declared pushing him slightly. "Are you happy now?"
"Very." His surprised smile was proof enough.
"I want to go home." She urged. Snatching the keys from his hold, turning, and unlocking her car using the keys. "Hurry or I will open the door for myself and you will sulk the entire way home."
His eyes widened for a nanosecond before his lips twitched in a smirk as a bewildered laugh escaped his lips.
She glared at him and he muffled it behind his palms, huffing loudly.
Like a doll, he held her waist and picked her up. She gasped as he moved her out of his way and fulfilled his unwritten duty of opening her seat door.
He took a dramatic bow "Take your place, wife."
■ ■ ■
Uttara has been carrying the widest grin around if that was humanly possible. The warmth that radiated off her deep shade of brown eyes reminded Vidyut of the sweetest hot chocolate that he had enjoyed in his childhood days, while her cheeks were a shade of bright red reminding him of blooming red roses that sat perked on their bedside table as a complimentary gift by the resort.
They had landed in Port Blair late at night yesterday and were rushed towards their resort. By the time they checked it was past sunrise and they had dodged sleeping but roam around the local beach. A 2-hour beach visit later, Vidyut had to carry a half-sleepy Uttara back and dump her to sleep off the self-induced tiredness.
After 10 hours, she still lay lazily in the bed rolling in the comfy bedding and creating a cocoon around her as the evening winds turned a level colder due to the previous rain shower witnessed by the place, acting to be sleeping like he would ever believe her acts.
"Tara" He called her for the second time, towel-drying his hair.
She moved but never answered him. This sleep ignorance topped his list of dislikes.
"Last chance, get up or you will be blamed." He cautioned and watched her peeking through the slit between her pillow and the comforter she had been clutching to herself. His eyes met hers and she was quick to hide back making him scowl "You asked for it."
Her shriek was loud enough to deafen the entire island, yet thanks to the soundproof rooms it stayed confined as he threw her upon his shoulder, her comforter drifted away and her bare legs contacted the crispy cold air. "Vidyut, you brute!"
The urge to spank her ass holed up in the air increased. "Hit me again and I will throw you inside the pool."
"I don't like you." She whined and stayed still as he dropped her into the bathroom, throwing a towel on her face he pushed her inside.
"Now, like a good little girl, shower and get ready." He ordered from behind the door and heard the stomping as a reply.
The bell rang and he answered the door. Taking the bag, he bid gratitude towards the staff and kept it along with the things he had to carry out. He was halfway tying his shoelaces when the bathroom door clicked open. He glanced up at her walking in a mere towel wrapped around her frame and another being used to dry her soaked hairs.
A string of curses later he was able to look away, all the while that she scowled he rolled his eyes each time she huffed and dressed up like it was the most irritating thing in the world.
He settled on the adjacent couch watching her apply a good layer of moisturizer before she blew dry her hair and used some kohl on her eyes, only the right amount. He had hardly seen any makeup packed in her luggage this time and true to her words, she was using none.
Shrugging into her long-printed crème maxi dress, she came and stood in front of him, waiting for him to look up from his device.
He hummed questioningly and she turned her back to him.
"Tie it." She ordered around yet the grudge was oozing out of her tone. He smirked guiltily for ruining her mood before standing up. The dress was form fitting till her lower back, held by the two strings before it flew down freely past her feet into heaps of fabric.
"I am sorry but I did not bring you here to sleep like a log, Tara." He tried explaining, yanking her closer by her strings.
"You are being very rude right now for someone who is apologizing, Mr. Husband." She leaned back and turned her head towards him, pursing her lips like a businesswoman thinking of an offer. "I can forgive you if you let me post a picture of us together."
Scoffing, he narrowed his eyes at her. "You have done it already. You created an account for me and your fans are going all about crazy with thousands of notifications in a few hours."
"But not together." She pouted and he averted his eyes from her. Resisting that face in the past weeks has become impossible and she knew it very well, using the tactic every time she can.
"We are getting late." He pulled her a little away and quickly helped her with the dress. "Take your things. Don't whine and curse me later."
She whined and stomped away. "You don't love me anymore."
The words froze his actions.
Did he even love her before?
Yes, imagining a life without her was no daydreaming he had entertained. He had started looking forward to coming home. Tease her, trick her, and enjoy her acting like a child.
Different than the woman the world knew, he liked holding onto a part only he knew about Uttara. He liked calling her, his wife.
But love?
The word made him feel scared, dizzy, and a little...hopeful.
"Only one time, I promise?" She snaked her arms around his torso from behind, peeking at her from the side and he stared at her.
That face, those eyes, her hair, and her innocence which lay naked to his eyes.
He nodded timidly and she squealed in happiness, taking him in a bone-crushing hug while he held her from slipping.
"I love you. I love you. I love you so much, Vidyut." She declared in her joyous high and he tried smiling a little, some more as she grinned and hugged him again.
Her feminine scent wafted his breath and he clutched her tightly to himself, burying his nose in her curls and calming his racing heart.
He may love her or not, but she was his elixir.
His soothing potion.
His pain reliever.
The ringing of the bell broke their daze and he loosened his arms, settling them on her hips as she stepped back a little.
"The car is here." He gestured towards the door and watched her nod with a soft smile on her. "Come."
Hands intertwined, they walked out and he took the keys from the valet, not before passing him a good tip.
The resort was inspired by tribal huts, building their suites in the form of small separate huts with an aligned pavement connecting all. Their car was parked at the side and they settled inside, the beach had privacy, and being off-season gave them a little advantage to explore the places without fear of getting caught and a little healthy rain, something Uttara preferred any day over Mumbai's heat.
"Is this place near the jungle?" She pouted in curiosity as the beach came to an end and the trees aligning on the other side scattered towards both, forming a dense canopy above them.
"What if I am taking you to the jungle?" He cocked a teasing brow.
"Why? Are you planning to kill me?" She played along with a grin bit back.
"You can never know, Little Star." He smiled and shifted the gears, speeding as soon enough the trees started shredding back giving stones their places.
"Jungle was left behind." She pointed with a frown "Do you even know the way?"
"I have lived here my entire life." He shot her a sarcastic smirk and rolled his eyes, jutting his chin towards the dashboard. "I am following the map, woman."
"But I don't trust them." She grumbled.
"Seems like your problem." He shrugged earning a dirty look from her as she turned towards the window and stared at the passing scenery.
He parked at the sides and she snapped to look around. They were on the deck huge stone mountains at one side and endless water at another. The moonless sky reflected almost nothing on the water if not for the ripples forming and gulping small starlights. Over all the place looked...
"Spooky." She commented with uncertainty.
Bingo! He snorted at her choice of words. "The place is beautiful, Tara."
"There is hardly any light here, thinking about the dining table is illogical. Are we supposed to eat on the roof of our car?"
"Patience, mi 'lady." He shook his head at her impatience and fetched the packet from before, he handed it over to her. "Wear it till I make a call."
He walked to a distance and dialed the number. "We are here. Bring it."
Hearing a positive answer, he hung up and turned to find her standing with a trench coat on. The oversized thing engulfed her in whole.
"You look good." Flickering her nose, he smirked.
"Only good?" She glared at him.
Chuckling, he traced a strand away from her face and behind her ear. "You look beautiful, Tara."
To be continued...