We laid out on a sheet in Harry's back yard passing a joint. These types of nights we always happen to have deep conversations. I've had a question that I've been wanting to ask but wasn't sure how Harry would handle it.
I sigh.
Harry chuckled "what?"
"I have a question but don't want to upset you."
"Well these nights are for deep conversations so I promise I won't get upset." He paused "well as long it's not a question if you can sleep with someone else"
"No" I laugh "it's not about sleeping with anyone else"
"Ok then ask" he gave me his pinky looking at me "I promise not to be upset"
I sigh "your mom"
It was silent he took a deep breath. "Yeah what about her"
"Have you thought about her?"
Silence he cleared his throat "sometimes."
"Have you tired looking for her?"
"No" he spoke sternly
"Don't you want to know why.."
"When I was younger I would all the time. I would come up with stupid reasons why but as an adult all those reason seem lousy."
"What do you think about looking for her and getting a reason?"
He laughed "I don't think that would be a good idea I would kill her if I got the chance."
"Harry."
"Babe I'm not this good guy. She's the reason I suffered."
"I don't think you would."
He sat up. Looking at me directly "I would"
"Let's test it."
"No. I don't want to find her"
"Because..?"
"Because fuck her I don't want to waste my time."
.
The office I sat in Harry's office he answered the phone I could tell it was a longer call. I grabbed A piece of paper and wrote down 'going to get a snack from Niall.'
He took the pen 'fucker doesn't like to share' then putting his finger up telling me to wait a second opening the drawer placing his gun on the note passing it to me.
I laugh shaking my head leaving the gun and walking out. I walk down the hall spotting Liam's door I knock on it softly.
"Yes" I hear a confused voice
I open it and Liam looks at me "oh Alexis hi I was confused why one of the guys decided to knock instead of barging in"
I laugh "sorry are you busy?"
"Always. why what's up do you need a ride?"
"No I um have a different favor.. like information"
"Go on" he looked up at me
"You're good at tracking people right?"
"Yeah who do you want me to track"
"Harry's mom."
He's eyes widen "I'm sorry what?" He paused "wait Does he know about it"
I shake my head no
He closed his laptop "do you want him to literally kill me. Why would you want that information?"
"He needs closure."
He rolled his eyes "that's understandable but I can't help you."
"What why?!"
"Did you not bloody hear me? he will Fucking kill me."
"I won't tell him it was you."
"Yeah because you have the capability to do it"
"Please Liam. Please"
He sighed "location then I'm done I'm not diving into his personal life."
"Fine"
"I'll drop it off when I find it then leave me out of it."
"Thank you."
I leave knocking on Niall's door. "Go away" he laughed
I open it "hey do you have any snacks ?"
"Yep"
"Can I have one?"
"For you always. it's under my desk" he's eyes holding a mischievous look
I tilted my head
"Ok fine in that cabinet over there."nodding his head "don't tell anyone you got it from me I don't need beggars"
"So you don't like beggars?" I smirk at him
He laughed "though it's harrys it's not my kink."
"What's your kink then?" I laughed
"You wanna find out?"
"Noo!" I laugh turning out of his office where Harry stood with his eyebrows up. The same look a mother would give catching her child with a hand in a cookie jar
"Oh hi." I smiled
"Dont oh hi me ms..I heard that."
"I was just curious" I rolled my eyes
Niall laughed "styles let me fix her curiosity yeah?" Shouting from behind me
"Wanna know what he sounds like?" he leaned closer to me.
"Does that feel good. You like that? Are you close?"
"Hey" niall shouts standing in the doorway now
"Lack of confidence" Harry smirks
"No the fuck I don't" niall laughs
"Tell me lex. do I ever need you to tell me if you like something or if you're close?"
I shake my head no
"You know why?" he looks at niall "because I know. I don't need the verbal confirmation like you."
"Fuck off." niall rolled his eyes "I do a good enough job to have girls whenever I want."
.
I've been baking all afternoon ever since Liam dropped off the information about Harry's mom a few hours ago.
The front door clicked open and Harry's voice rang through the apartment "baby?"
"Here" I called out
He walked up to me greeting me with a kiss "it smells amazing."
I reach for a cinnamon roll "taste."
He takes a bite mumbling "fuck that's good." With his mouth full.
He takes it from my hand placing it front of my mouth I take a bite. He softly wipes the corner of my mouth.
I have no idea how I'm going to tell him. I'm internally freaking out.
"Hey since you baked today would you want to go out to eat tonight?" Harry asked taking another bite.
"Like a date?" I turn around to put a dirty dish in the sink
"Woah a date that's a lot of commitment." he laugh
I turn to him rolling my eyes
"I'm kidding you're the one who asked the silly question. But yes it's a date."
We head out I pretty much avoided Harry taking my time when I got ready.
he looks over at me "you ok?"
"Yeah just hungry" I smile the car stops abruptly
"What's wrong" Harry turned facing me completely
"Can we talk after dinner."
"Why not just talk now? what's wrong."
"You're doing the whole depending thing again." I roll my eyes
We've had conversations about Harry demanding things from me and that I'm not one of his men who he can boss around.
He chuckled taking my hand and kissing it. "You didn't seem to mind it last night."
I glare at him. "Different"
"Ok so what's wrong." He kissed my hand again
I sigh "can you at least park the car." he put the car in park without moving it from the middle of the road.
"I know where your mom is."
He shook his head "no you don't" he stared into my eyes he's face dropping "why would you do that?"
"Closure.." I started
"You went behind my back? Who helped you"
"Nobody."
"Bullshit. Ed?" He stared into my eyes
"No!"
"Sarah?"
"No Harry stop it doesn't matter.."
"You went behind my back Alexis. that's my past which is none of your fuckin business."
I bite my lip trying not to feel hurt. I know I shouldn't have but I feel like I needed to help him with something he would never do himself.
"Look I figured we can look into her a bit. find closure for your past. get the answers you've been wondering"
"No Alexis just stay out of it!"
"You help everyone else get closure let me help you!"
The car was put in drive. It was silent but we pulled up to his house. I follow him in. He doesn't talk to me but disappears into his office.
I wait for him in the living room but after an hour he doesn't come out. I decide to leave when I get to the door it's locked I tried the code but it flashed red. What the fuck.
I walked over to his office opening the door he didn't turn around just stayed put "did you change the code?"
"Yeah"
"Why and when?"
"40mins ago. I don't want you to leave."
"Why do you want me here? you're upset with me"
"I am" he looked down
"Do you hate me"
He looked at me confused "what no I just don't think it was right for you to go into my personal life without permission."
"You literally stalked me Harry. you know everything about me and My past. You knew who my birth father before I did. You crossed boundaries for your reasons. I have mine. I want to give you the closure. I want to hold your hand while you find it.
The rest of the evening was quiet I made us pasta then we took a shower together even sat down on the couch to watch tv for a an hour. Harry was still upset with me. As we laid in bed.
I turn towards him. I can't help but feel guilty. Harry's never been mad at me and I don't like it one bit "I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you."
He looked at me "what did you expect for me to jump around and thank you?"
I sigh "do you want me to sleep in my old room?"
He shifted in the bed. Alexis look at me. I turn to face him. "I'm upset yes but I want you here with me. No matter how upset I am with you I will still want you. There's nothing you can do that will make me hate you. Do you understand?"
I nod
"Good. Now flip over and put your ass up because I'm going to fuck you like I hate you."
.
We lay there trying to catch our breath. "Tomorrow you're going to tell me where's she is. Then we will figure out flights."
"Are you sure?"
"You're right. I want to know."
"You deserve to know." I brush his hair back
"I might kill her"
"Maybe you'll reconsider if she has a good reason."
"There no reason for abandoning a toddler at the park."