Heal him ✨
Jk: "You aren't together?! For real?" Utterly shocked due to the revelation of the truth that he has, for a long period, been oblivious to, Jungkook voices his question out loud.
Jackson standing opposite to him, both still hidden from the world in the dimly lit hospital alley, looks at him with unreadable expressions. Hopeless. The younger is hopeless when it comes to use of sense and brain.
"What in the fucking world made you think that we are? Why did you even think of that?!"Jackson demands an answer. His tone not so gentle as always, his earlier anger that had subsided with efficient efforts and nagging of his self control begins to make a journey of resurfacing.
All this while, from the very beginning, he tried hard to make then reconcile. Biting down his own emotions own sadness, own feelings of love and admiration, he had tried hard to create a step for their reunion.
All for nothing? It seems he was wrong from the base. He was foolish enough to imagine that the process would be easy, contrary to the efforts it took him to conceal his volcanic emotions of infatuation.
He takes in a deep breathe, trying to hold back his rising anger, knowing it is not the right time to have a pathetic outburst. The moment the younger conveyed his view of their relationship. he had least expected to heart it off as something that consisted the word love.
Jackson: "I fucking told you that I want both of you to get back together. And you were thinking of us together all along? What for did I ask both if you to reconcile then?"
He tries to sound calm, composed to the core and mature enough to the younger. He doesn't want to be harsh to the other one who stands like a pit if confusion in front if him.
Jk: "I-I.... It didn't cross my mind..." Trying hard not to give in to the strangling feeling of frustration, Jungkook answers stuttering, not quite sure of what his words mean.
Jackson: "What didn't cross your mind? That I am healthy enough to not ask you to be in a romantic relationship with my supposed boyfriend?"
No more. Jackson can't hide the frustration that is pooling inside him. How much dumbness can one achieve to reach a level of this stupidity? Is it even real?
Jk: "I don't-L."
Jackson: "I don't want to hear incoherent rambles from you. You are old enough to speak clear and loud!"
Jk: "Yes, sorry! It didn't cross my mind Hyung. It really didn't. And even when you are saying it to me now, I still don't want to be with him."
Jackson: "Shut the fuck up will you?! We both know you love him, we both know he loves you and he chose to die in heat instead of giving himself to anyone but you! The results are just in front of you. He is fighting with sickness."
Jk: "Yes! I know that! But we both know you love him! You deserve him more than I do Hyung. He will be happy with you! You are loving, caring and mature, you are just the man he needs to be happy!" By this time, both of them in tears of anger, the emotions whirling in themselves are unpredictable now. Like a lone sepal that has long lost it's power to hold on to the glory of the flower they keep suffering, not knowing what to hold on to, drowning themselves in the dark abyss of anguish.
Jackson: "Jungkook, listen to me little brother, one sided love isn't the key to a happy relationship. Yes, I love him, more than I have ever loved anyone, even myself. But, it isn't a way to get him. He really loves you, so much that he is ready to die for you, brother." He can't explain the churning of this guy, he can't elaborate the burning sensation in his eyes, he feels as if he is being ripped off organ by organ, but he needs to continue.
Jk:"Hyung, what about your love then? I can't let you suffer like that. Love can do wonders right? I know you will win him over someday. I beg you, I know he can not accept me."
Even if Tae welcome him with open arms he believes he isn't worthy of it. He is ready to heal the other in any way possible, but to return to taehyung as they were long before, it is too much to demand from fate.
Jackson: "Love does wonders boy. But, it needs to be encouraged. He believes in me, depends on me, but love isn't the feeling he renders for this man. You loved yeon too right? Could you hold him with yourself longer?" Jackson's question follows no response. As if the person questioned has no words to respond, silence.
This silence is what scares Jackson the most. Confusion of one's own feelings are the base of destructive habits. To know the feeling and continue, to know the infatuation and suites stay far easier than not being able to comprehend the reason behind every churn, every tingle, every such notations in oneself. It is horrible.
"I didn't." Kook, finally responding to the long asked question tilts his head down in shame. The truth hurts. The fact that he didn't live Yeon yet played with the other's emotions, unintentionally, but, he did. And that counts as a sin. He is a sinner.
Jackson: "What?" Out of all the answers, this response was hardly the one to cross Jackson's mind. He didn't what? Love the omega?
Jk: "I am ashamed to accept it. But, I didn't love Yeon. I mistook the attraction for love and went on with it on my life. I literally am a traitor to his life. To their lives, their feelings." Jackson fought with himself for holding back the emotions. What comes out now is new, unexpected, unknown and definitely surprising.
Jackson: "And you tormented your first mate for years just by mistaking your attraction for love?"
Unknowingly, Jackson's voice is meekly projected to the younger. Disbelief prominent in his tone, sorrow, pooling in his eyes.
"I hate to say it, but Yes. I know tae didn't deserve it. He still deserves way better."
Convinced of this, Jungkook continues rejecting the request of getting back together.
"You are guilty?" Jackson's eyes, firm, strong, unwavering, with a strict face he asks the younger now. His tears left far behind.
"I am." The tone that Jungkook speaks with, reflects sincerity, as if all the pent up loyalty he left in the past is made to come through this confession if his.
Jackson sighs in relief. Absolutely convinced that Jungkook will take care of tae once given the chance to. With slow steps he reaches the younger, with a warm encouraging pat on the shoulder he speaks to Jungkook.
Jackson: "Then go heal him. I have always prepared for letting him go and I never had him in the first place. You need him and he needs you."
Acceptance. That is all that is left in this deal of love, loving and being loved, letting go, grabbing on and keeping the feeling. A feeble yet heavy weighing word of 'yes' is all that is needed for the assurance that Jackson desires.
Jk: "You-think I am worthy?" Voice cracking with expectation, eyes glassy of hammering future in him, Jungkook asks the older for a confirmation. How often he has imagined himself by the side of tae, loving him cherishing him, caring for him in abundance. But, never had he thought that he will be given a second chance, never had the thought if him being worthy of all those crossed his mind.
Jackson: "I have seen him breaking due to your absence, I have seen him crying, pretending and holding back the sadness, I have witnessed his whole journey through years. But, I have never seen him being as happy as he was the day you brought flowers for him. Delusional, albeit, he craves for you."
Jackson pats the younger's head, various feelings conveyed through the simple, small, kind act. A comfort that kook has searched, forever it seems now. Stars in the nightless sky, shelter to the homeless, sun in the clouds, Jackson is a sunshine who shines so bright that he burns himself, provides happiness to the other's while his own self faces the demise to his brightest soul.
No moment is wasted anymore, Jungkook plunges himself in the arms of the older. This is what having a brother truly feels like, probably.
Jackson welcomes him with open arms, knowing what the other needs at this very moment. In the whole world of pretended sympathy, fake love and discourteous two faced creatures, true feelings are cherished, like diamonds, the purest of what heart has is never hidden for long.
Jk: "Thank you, Hyung. For everything."
Jackson: "I will rather have another hug instead."
After the whole time of darkness the two finally chuckle with happiness.
Jk: "We will heal Tae right?"
Jackson: "Yes, we will. I know he will be okay."
✌️
Author N-Tk 𐤀