It's all my fault 🥀
The day is unusual, very unusual for Jackson. The beginning itself poses him in front of several questions that he has to take the time to think it through. A call in the early morning, urgent work, sick Hobi. Right. His brain has taken much time to rethink after declining his bestie's call. Then he remembers, Jiyi is alone. Shaking the sleep out of his head, he starts preparing himself. The completion of morning routine shows the way to the early duty of entertaining and accompanying the princess Jiyi.
The process is hurried but calculated. A quick spray of cologne and he is done with his preparations. Almost empty streets greet him when he finally decides to run his car to his friend's house. The busy hour is yet to arrive, the sun greets him with joy, smiling brightly that it forces his eyes to look away. The sun warns him of focusing on the road. The cold breeze hits his face, not so delicately for he is running the car quite fast in order to reach the ten year old quickly.
His focus although kept on the road, a subconscious part if his mind can't help but think about the future. He knows, Tae can not live without Jungkook. What Tae does now is not living, it is called surviving, striving for nothing, or adamantly proving himself as fittest for survival.
Yeon goes for Jk, although mastered the work of hiding his emotions of love and affection, kook is too obvious, just like his feelings. Every time he talks to Tae or about tae, there is a vigorous play of pale emotions in his eyes, guilt, sorrow, love, affection, admiration, everything is expressed in just a moment. Subtle and soft expressions, admiring glances, stealing a few gazes at the other, nothing goes unknown, nothing is unnoticed, not to Jackson.
Just how in the world can they be made together? These obvious emotions are just covered with the thinnest veil of insecurities. Once ripped off, Jackson believes, they can never be departed again.
Finding ways, it seems is a mission now, for reuniting them. It is a challenge of course.
Jiyi still wanders in her dream land when Jackson reaches the house. Waking the little girl up, he notices the breakfast to be ready. A smile escapes his lips, but along with it tails a concerned sigh.
Who told Tae to prepare the breakfast before going?
He continues his morning with Jiyi, telling her stories of how her taetae disturbed his sweet sleep in the early morning.
Jungkook on the other hand sits alone in his training room. His new student who has him reserved for the time being still has no trace of arrival. He sighs for the umpteenth time, disappointment evident in his sharp facial features. He expects punctuality from top rank stars as Dilreba. But, it seems now that he expects too much. A thought suddenly appears in his mind. A work that he has thought of tons of time before, but has never got a proper chance to execute.
He brings out his phone from the pockets of his loose sweatshirt and scrolls through the contacts searching for a particular name.
Finding the desired contact, he calls it, waiting for the person on the other line to answer. The phone keeps ringing and he almost becomes convinced that this will not be responded. But, it is answered.
"Can you call me after a while? I am a bit busy." The sentence to greet him comes as nothing loving or caring as he had expected.
Jk: "When are you not busy yoongi Hyung ?How long has it been since you last called?" Kook enquires his big brother, his tone, not hiding the dissatisfaction even the slightest. It feels weird to call yoongi as brother after he has called Jackson so. Somehow, to Jungkook, Jackson suits the address of big brother better than yoongi. It might be the tone, or it might be the words that makes yoongi stay silent for a while. It has never been Jk who speaks with grudge. Thus, this might come as a surprise.
Yg: "You know your brother is busy kook. You shall not complain. Besides, you didn't call me either, now did you?" Yoongi responds, swiftly playing his card of denying his fault. His voice, guised as soft and affectionate.
Jk: "You know Hyung. My life was a turmoil for past months. So was your's I guess." Sarcasm, Jungkook throws it on the face of yoongi, not sliding away in fear of words.
Yg: "Turmoil, you mean the separation? You know you will get hundreds as him."Yoongi voices as he continues after a while, "Ah! I heard of yeon. I am sorry for what happened. I didn't expect him to pull something like that." A long silence prevails. Yoongi doesn't continue, Jungkook doesn't respond.
Jk: "Done?"Kook voices after a while. A sigh leaves his mouth, no, a deep breath is inhaled. "Are you for real Hyung? You heard your brother lost his mate, you knew that tae and I got separated. And this is what you have to tell to me months after it happened, that too after I called you?"
Jungkook's voice is calm. But in contrast he finds his anger rising, his teeth grind each other, wanting a way to suppress the raging wrath.
He finds no response. He decides to speak out ultimately.
Out if all the person he had wanted his brother to contact him, to comfort him, to reach out to him in his dark times. Instead, he was saved by the one who deserves to kill him. He doesn't complain of being take care of by Tae. But, it just increases his worthlessness.
Jk: "I literally went through depression Hyung. I almost killed myself out of regret. And, if not for Tae, you would not have been disturbed by this call now. For I would not exist to call you. That would have been better right?"kook continues, saying out everything that he wanted to tell for days. Only now he understands how much of disappointment he has pent up in himself.
Silence...
He waits for a response. He will wait till yoongi says anything.
"K-ko. L...." Speechless. Yoongi is speechless after knowing the truth. This was unexpected, and still is unbelievable. To think that his little brother almost took his own life, his body shivers with fear.
"Speechless?" Jungkook asks, mocking the elder purposefully. "So was I, when I witnessed my own brother not giving a fuck about what happens to me after I face desolation."
Yg: "Listen to me ko-"
Jk: "There's nothing more to listen to. You just said I will get hundreds like Tae. Well, I can't not say that I hope no one finds another Kim Jimin. Both of these brothers seem to be nothing to you." Hatred. That is all what he feels right now. The person whom he admired as an ideal once has set himself as an exemplar of a person, he will never want to be.
He let's out a humorless laugh. Bitterness intensifying in his mind.
Jk:"I resigned from the post if future CEO of jeon Corp." He says suddenly surprising the older even more.
Yg: "What?! Why?!" The shock in yoongi's voice is noticable. It says that he is finding difficulty in digesting each and every information that he is being given.
Jk: "They wanted me to stay away from Tae. And I can't do that. They wanted me to choose and I chose tae."
YG: "Seriously?"
Jk: "Do I sound like I am in a mood of joking?"
Yg: "Ko-"
"Ok Bye. Sorry to disturb you Hyung. I promise I will never interfere in your work again." He senses the other's urge to speak. But, he has had enough. He declines the call hurriedly, not wanting to hear more.
Jk drives his car through the busy streets of the city. The sun, for him, still as bright as tae's smile. But, the mood he wears at the present is worse. He thinks of all the disappointment he faced do far in a day. First his brother, then this Dilreba who suddenly cancelled today's training session.
He is tired if all this people muddling his good mood. How he wishes he can see taw when he returns, but that is just a wish. Tae may still be at home. He might have not left yet. He is early after all.
He sighs for who knows how many times in the morning. He wonders how much of this long road is left. Everything seems good when he is with Jiyi. His little princess brings the best mood out of him every time. Deciding to meet his little princess and tae for a while before going back, he drives to tae's house.
After opening the door to the house, he announces his arrival as per a habit. It is the only place where he gets to say so, infact.
"Hello there! Welcome!" He hears Jackson's voice not so unexpectedly. A warm greeting makes him smile wide.
"Hello Hyung!" It feels good to Jungkook,it seems nice to address Jackson as 'hyung', it runs off smoothly, as if he had been calling the other so first a very long time.
"Hellooo!" Jiyi greets him, joining Jackson, while running towards Jungkook for a hug.
"Hello my princess!" He greets the little child with matching enthusiasm. A warm homey feeling surrounding him in an instant.
"Tae isn't here?" It wasn't a question though, he understands tae is not in the house, it is a statement that he delivers trying his best to hide the disappointment.
Jackson smiles at him, noticing the sadness.
Jk: "Hm." He responds sadly.
Jackson: "Wanna grab some lunch together?"
Jk: "Oh no Hyung, it's fin-"
Jackson: "We can go to the art gallery after that. Where Tae is working on the beautiful designs".
Jk: "Okay!"
.
.
.
Everything was supposed to be beautiful. They were supposed to float in the beauty if Amaranth that tae worked so hard for. But, seeing the condition tae is in Jackson's concern hits him at a striking speed. A single glance at tae and he can say that the other isn't well.
His visible part of the face is ghostly pale, eyes crimson red and pupils almost shrinking into an invisible dot. Nothing in him seems normal.
A heat is it? No. That's not how an alpha in heat looks like. It is something way more worrisome.
He nearly begs the other to listen to him and go out if that congested Place. But to no avail does the other listen.
The shriek at the end startles him deeply. Never has he seen tae being so overwhelmed with anger, tae has always been humble, polite, calm and fond.
What shocks him more is the sudden collapse of the other. He just begins to think of persuading the other a bit more, but he sees the other's eyes rolling backwards and his body going limp in seconds.
He dashes for a rescue, wanting to save the other from hitting the ground hard. The body feels heavy against him. A torturing high fever and trembling palms, he remains shocked, unmoving.
The door opens that very moment, revealing the younger dominant alpha holding the little child in his arms. Going to buy a candy for Jiyi never made him realize that he has to see such a scene in front of him.
Jk: "Tae!" He runs to the other, shaking him desperately, moving his body a little, removing the mask and patting his cheek gently, he tries everything, but nothing works. Tae remains as he was before.
Jackson sits there still being unable to overcome the shock of seeing tae collapsing in front of him.
"Jackson!" Jk helplessly calls but no response is made. Fear, nervousness, helplessness, everything comes hurdling to him together.
He takes deep breaths to calm himself down, he can't be weak when the other two need him. He glances at Jiyi who seems confused if the whole situation. Embracing her a little to block her view of the unconscious tae, he calls his friend, a doctor of the hospital that his family trusts the most.
Emergency conversation ends and he gently carries Tae to the Car. Ignoring all the concerned glances from the staffs, he places the limp body on the backseat of the car, gently with proper care.
"Jackson! Hyung!" He makes the other snap out if the trance. Telling him to follow, he drives the car as fast as he can to the hospital. His heart racing, sweat beads running down his forehead. He is tensed.
Arms rested on the knees, palms clasped together, head hanging low, Jackson sits motionless on the chair in the waiting area. Concerned for his best friend. He doesn't have the track of time.
Jungkook stands leaning on the wall, silently praying for Taehyung to be fine. The biggest shock of his life, he doesn't know if was to see Yeon lying dead on the couch, or is to see tae laying unconscious in Jackson's arms. For the moment he begins to think of himself as a bad omen. Wherever he goes, his close ones suffer. Is he a bad luck then? The doctor arrives from the closed door after two hours, immediately attracting the attention of both the dominant alphas.
"How is he bam?" Jungkook asks his Friend, not being able to hold his concern. Jackson states at the doctor with worry. Bam, the doctor, sighs hard before responding to them. His face not showing any signs of positive outcome.
Bam: "Listen to me carefully." He says seriously before starting. "His immune system is breaking down. And, he is facing mental confusions."
No! This can't happen!
"How? Why?" Jackson almost shouts at the doctor, the reveal of this hit hard.
"Long term usage of drugs." The doctor being pityful, says with a grimace.
"Drugs?!" Both of the alphas voice out. Not even for once had they witnessed the other taking drugs, no signs of taking them, no presence of drugs were even found. What caused this this?
Bam: "Hm. Drugs. Rut suppressants in particular." And, realization Dawn's on them. Heat suppressants, they were the ones that were regularly taken by Tae. But, overdose?
.
.
.
Bam: "You might not know or notice. But, he has overdose of those in his body. Probably the addiction due to long run medical use."
The doctor reveals the truth, sensing the shock of the two he nods and with a sympathetic pat on Jungkook 's shoulder leaves the two alphas alone.
Jungkook's body slumps down on the floor, while Jackson stands still. The only thing repeating in their mind, tearing them apart with agony echos in their ears, the world seems too unreal.
"It's all my fault. Everything is my fault!"Jungkook whispers, unable to decipher the reaction he shall has. His brain is muddled up, stacked with sorrow, he feels himself trembling under heavy guilt. No way to go, no where to die, no peace to find.
No proofreading. Enjoy 😊
Author N-Tk 𐤀