(AJ's POV)
I was sitting on the foot of my bed looking to a message on my phone. I looked backed and Kristina was still sound asleep. A soft sheet of blanket was covering her beautiful naked body. She still looks amazing even when she sleeps. She looks so peaceful and happy while here I am feeling guilty. I looked down again on the screen of my phone, this text message made my heart felt the cold hard stab of reality.
"AJ, you're my best friend... Please help me find her. I'm really getting worried. I love her. I love her, AJ. Remember the time when you woke up and Sam was gone? Then you called me up to help you look for her... I was there, buddy. I need you right now. Please. I can't take it anymore. I want her back. I want to know if she's safe and if she already has forgiven me. I promise I will change. Please..."
I placed my hands on my head as I close my eyes. I really don't know what to do. Should I go to Jessie and tell her she's with me and help her get Kristina back or should I fight for her leaving my friendship with Jessie broken? What should I do?
My best friend... though we don't always see eye to eye, we were always there for each other. We had a long history together. I would always come to you whenever Sam and I had a fight, you would always comfort me and say we should get laid by different girls... that made me laugh all the time. You took care of my aunt while I was gone for a year, you took charge of the dancers and I just left you. But still, you understood why I did that and here I am ignoring you, taking away the only person that you ever loved.
I'm so sorry, Jessie.
I changed my clothes and grab my keys. I gave one last look at Kristina who was still sound asleep on my bed as I smiled bitterly. I immediately went outside to get into my car. I drove fast to get to what used to be Jessie and Kristina's apartment. I was crying the whole time. I was still confused but I know in my heart that I had to do something... for my best friend.
When I got to the apartment building, I parked my car and fixed myself, I went inside and go through a flight of stairs. I asked Jessie to buzz me in and so she did. When she opened the door, I expected the whole room to be cluttered, cans of beer should be lying everywhere and I would find broken pieces of glass... but to my surprise there was none. The whole apartment was spick and span.
She sat on the couch uneasy, elbows are on her knees while she rubs her hands together. I was just standing there looking at her... feeling sorry for her. Her eyes are baggy, she looks restless and her hair was not even fixed. The room may be neat and tidy but the one who's living in it was not. Neither one of us is speaking. I could only hear the sound of traffic and faint yelling of the neighbors. Jessie was breathing deep and it looks like she's about to cry.
I took a step forward but she gestured her hand not to come closer. So I just stood there again looking away. I sighed as I massage my temples.
"Jess..." I finally had the courage to say something, "I'm sorry about last time. I was angry and I was stressed out but I know that is not a good excuse to hurt you but--"
"It's not your fault." Said Jessie cutting me off, "I don't blame you. I would have done the same thing, so it's okay. I deserved it."
"Jess, I've got to tell you something and I need you to listen to me."
She raised her head and looked at me. Her expression was blank and I can't figure out what she was thinking.
"Tell me. I'm all ears." She said in a husky voice.
I walked towards the window and stared at the people passing by the street. I took a deep breath and said, "Jessie, she's with me."
"What?"
I looked back at Jessie feeling guilty then I looked away. "She's been staying with me for quite some time now. At first, she was staying at Greg's but he somehow led Kristina in my apartment." I was shaking as I try to think of the next sentence that I was going to say. I know it will break her heart. I turned my right hand into a fist as the other one leaned on the window.
"Why didn't you tell me she was with you?" said Jessie with her voice cracking.
"B-Because... 'Cause I... I..."
Jessie stood up and she was now standing at my back just inches away. I turned around and faced her. I saw tears coming out of her eyes. I broke eye contact and I looked down.
"AJ, tell me the truth... Please."
I looked up again this time trying to be brave. "Something happened... We... we..."
"No... no..." said Jessie covering her mouth as she stepped backwards. She tripped and fell on the floor. "How could you? HOW COULD YOU, AJ??? YOU KNEW I LOVE HER! YOU KNEW I WAS GOING TO TAKE HER BACK!!" shouted Jessie now bawling her eyes out. She was so angry yet she doesn't have the strength to get up and punch me in the face. "I LOVE HER, AJ!!"
"JESSIE, I LOVE HER TOO!!!!" I shouted even though my voice is shaking. She looked at me dumbfounded. "But... But I love you more and it wasn't my intention to hurt you. I'm sorry..."
"I t-trusted you, AJ... How could you?" she laid her back on the floor covering her face with her hands. She was sobbing and I felt my heart was sinking.
"I-I'm so sorry... But I'm here now and I want to make things right."
"How?"
"Go to her. Take her back. Tell her you love her and you will change." At this time Jessie sat upright and was just looking at me.
"What about you?" she asked feeling a little bit sorry for me.
"Tell her I'm with Sam and we're back together. Make her believe that I don't love her." And in that moment, when I said those words... I started to cry but I maintained posture. "Take care of her, give her the love that she deserves, and forgive her. Accept her past because she is no longer that girl. Listen to her stories and learn something from it. Smile every now and then... make her feel comfortable in her own skin. But please, promise me one thing... don't hurt her. Just love her, Jess. Love her with all your heart and she will do the same." I looked up and tried to stop myself from crying. I know I'm doing the right thing. "You better go to her." I reached into my pocket to get the keys to my apartment and placed it on top of a side table.
Right then and there, I left. I would be lying if I said I wasn't heart broken. But I had to do it. Jessie is my best friend.
I decided to go to the café. I knew Ginny was there asking me what I want to eat but I didn't paid any attention to her. I was drowning in my own thoughts. I went up the stairs going through the roof top of the building. I was staring blankly into nothingness. I didn't realized that someone was there with me.
"AJ?" called out Lizzy.
I looked back and I saw Lizzy together with Sam. I stared at the both of them not knowing what to say. I was confused.
"Are you okay?" asked Lizzy again walking towards me studying my face.
"Amm... Lizzy, could you give AJ and me some time?" said Sam butting in, looking so worried.
Lizzy smiled at Sam giving her a hug. I guess they're okay now. When Lizzy left, Sam hugged me. She then looked up and saw how melancholic I am.
She caressed my face and said, "Honey, what's wrong?"
When she called me Honey, I snapped out and look at her dark brown eyes. I suddenly remembered the first time I saw her. It was here on this roof top. She was dancing while singing a song. I was curious so I approached her while clapping my hands. She frowned at me and was about to walk away but I stopped her. I introduced myself but she just smirked eyeing me from head to toe. She said she's not into girls but I managed to make her fall in love with me anyway... That was a long time ago and this Sam who was in front of me was far from the Sam that I knew before.
"Tell me what's wrong. Please. I'm getting worried." Asked Sam again.
I tried to open up my mouth but no words came out. I looked down trying to hide another wave of tears.
"Is it Kristina?"
I just nodded still looking down.
"You love her, don't you?"
I nodded again.
"I see..."
I raised my head and I saw her looking away a bit teary eyed while crossing her arms on her chest.
"I guess... I'm too late..." said Sam giving a bit of her smile, "AJ... I'm so sorry I left. Back then I thought... you were holding me back. I wasn't sure about having a future with you. I wanted something more... something more that the life we have planned together. So I left. I left without saying a word... I know it hurt and again I'm sorry... But suddenly, I realized I wasn't happy with my decision. I panicked... thinking that you might have someone else now. So I did everything to get close to you again but I failed... I failed miserably."
"Sam..." she looked at me and I took a deep breath, "When you left me, you took a big part of me and I felt empty. I felt like I was no longer alive... I had given up on everything because I lost the person that I thought was 'the one'... I loved you with all my heart not wanting to spare a bit of love for myself. But... when I saw you again and I get the chance to be with you, hold you, kiss you... I realized something... I realized that I was never empty after all. It was me who was doing this to myself. I denied myself for another chance of life and happiness. I could always fill myself with love and respect. I was whole all along. I know that now..."
She nodded looking down. "You know, when I saw you and Kristina together after the performance... I felt the slap of reality. I felt jealous even though I have no right to be. I saw how you looked at her..."
I suddenly stared at her and I think I know what she's going to say next.
"I felt like I was gonna die... because that's how you used to look at me, AJ... Right from that moment... I knew I was out of the picture."
"Sam..."
She leaned forward and gave me a kiss on the cheek while cupping my face with her warm soft hands, "I want you to be happy, Hon. Because you deserved it... I love you, AJ Kingsley..."
She then let's go and walked away... I guess this is our closure. It was really over between me and Sam. I felt relieved and sad at the same time. What was once that used to be together are now strangers. We gave it our best shot but we've come to the end of the road.
Thank you, Sam. Thank you for everything.
****
(Kristina's POV)
When I woke up, I searched the room to find AJ but she's not here. Where could she be? Maybe she was called for an emergency meeting or something. I took my bag off the hook on the backdoor of the bedroom and searched for my phone. When I finally found it, it was drained. I forgot when was the last time I charged this. I found an outlet and plugged my charger to power it up. I hoped AJ sent me a message.
I put on some clothes and went to the kitchen to get a cold glass of water, when suddenly I heard someone unlocking the door. Must be AJ.
I placed the glass on the kitchen sink and I went out of the kitchen to greet her with a smile.
"Hey... where have you b—" I froze. I was out of breath and my heart was beating fast. It was Jessie. "What are you doing here?" I asked shaking.
"Babe..." said Jessie taking a step forward but I took a step backward so she stopped and just looked at me.
"D-Don't come near me..." I said, afraid for my life. I glanced over at my phone and my instinct was to call the police.
"I'm not here to hurt you. I promise... I just want to talk. Look... I'll just stand right here. I promise I won't do anything." Said Jessie holding up her hands.
"W-Where's AJ?"
She looked down feeling hurt. She clenched her hands into a fist and it was shaking tremendously. I was guarded and confused at the same time. I don't know what's about to happen.
Jessie looked up, "AJ sent me here. We spoke earlier and she told me you were here."
"What? W-Why?" I don't understand what's happening. It's like a dream...
"Kristina, I love you and I'm so sorry for hurting you. I want you back... I promise I will never do it again. I swear to God I won't. I will change for you. I will do anything you say... I will take care of you and just love you... Babe, please... please come back to me." Jessie pleaded and I can sense that she was being sincere. She started crying and was down on her knees. I felt sorry for her. So I walked towards her and knelt in front of her.
I placed my hand on her shoulder and said, "Jessie... I have already forgiven you but..."
She looked at me, afraid on what I'm going to say next, "But?"
"But... I can't... I don't feel the same way anymore. I'm... I'm sorry..." I covered my face because I was crying. I felt guilty.
"You're in love with AJ, aren't you?"
I couldn't answer because she was right and I don't have the guts to tell her that 'Yes. I'm in love with AJ'.
"She's back together with Sam."
"What?" I slowly uncovered my face and stared at Jessie for a moment.
"She's with her right now. She said she still loves Sam and she can't live without her. I asked her if she has feelings for you but—"
"You're lying..." I whispered.
"No... No I'm not. It's true. Why would she give the keys to her apartment if she loves you? She would have fought for you... but she didn't. She wants you to be happy with me. I'm the one who loves you and wants to be with you." Jessie cupped her hands on my face, pleading. "I promise I would never hurt you again. I will take care of you... Please, babe... please..."
She still loves Sam... after all this time. It was still her. I'm so stupid. I know that night when I told her I loved her, she was awake. I know she heard me but she didn't answer. Maybe she was still thinking of Sam. Oh God... I'm such an idiot. I got played. It felt so real being in that moment with her. How come she suddenly changed her mind? Was I really nothing for her? Was I not enough?
"Kristina... please say something."
"Jessie..." I said while slowly shaking my head, "I can't. I don't love you the way you love me. I know by saying these words it will hurt you, but I have to be honest. Yes, it's true. I love AJ. But it doesn't mean you have to take the fall. I can't let you do that. You deserve to be happy with someone else. Someone who could love you with all of their heart. Okay, I get it... AJ doesn't love me. But it will not change the fact that I still have feelings for her."
"So you're choosing AJ?"
"No. I'm not choosing anyone. I have to make something out of myself too. I have to give time for myself to get over her. I know eventually I will."
"B-But... babe... we can get through this. I will still accept you in my life. We can get away from all of this. We could start all over again... and—"
"Jessie... Jess, it doesn't work that way. I know you cannot trust me anymore. You will always think about this moment right here and it can destroy us. We will hate each other and then we will regret why we stayed together after all this time. We will no longer be there because we have changed so much in the course of time... Do you want that?"
"Don't leave me, Kristina. Please don't. I can't go on with this life without you. Please... Please..."
I hugged Jessie as we both cried our feelings out. This was the hardest part of all. Letting go...
I caressed Jessie's hair and said, "Maybe someday..."
TO BE CONTINUED...
Author's note:
Whew... Heart breaking. This is the second to the last chapter. One more to go. So sad. Anyway, tell me at the comment section what can you say about this chapter. I love you all! Ciao
Ms. Lee
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