It's been a really tough time for you, you try to do everything to stop what's going on with you. You found yourself and lost yourself, over and over again. You didn't knew how to cope with this.
Obviously you didn't tell anyone about how much you doing through, and how much you're not okay, and how much your mind is loud and you can't feel anything except pain.
But every person how knew you good enough, knew you were struggling. And Matt was the one to know that too good. Even you've never tell Matt about it, and he never asked you.
Matt still try his best to make you feel better and safe, and yourself. Even if it's cost a lot of arguments and panic attacks for two of you.
But still, Matt try his best for you.
You were at Matt's room, and your room either, you lived with the triplets in LA to help your career grow and be more successful.
Matt got into the room after a long day, and you was on your phone. "I'm getting to shower." He said, with a mad voice, you looked up at him to see why is he upset.
"Fine?" You shrug your head. "Why are you telling me?" You adds. "Because last time you got mad at me as fuck, because I took your turn so don't come and do again." He said.
"Oh, come on Matt, get over it." You said and got back to your phone. "No, im not. You fighting with me all this weekend about every single move I do." He said, upset but not yelling at you. "I'm sorry, but you fighting right now with me over nothing." You said.
"Okay, whatever, just stop your attitude." He said and try to got into the bathroom. "I'm sorry, that you mad doesn't mean you can take it out on me!" You shouts. "You did This all this weekend!" He shouts back.
"Matt, you can't say I'm the problem all the time." You said and he laughed. "So who's the problem?" He asked you. "None of us." You said and he went quite.
"We both have a lot to deal with right now, and I'm kinda of spilt away from this relationship, but I'm working on it." You said, finally talking about your mental state.
"No, don't blame your actions in your mental health. I know you going through a lot, and believe me I love you so fucking much, but you can't believe your actions in this." Matt cut your words off. "What do you mean?"
"That you going through a lot, doesn't mean you're not the problem. I take care of you more then I take care of myself, I know." He said, what made you cry. You thought he didn't understand how much pain you have.
"No one asked you to take care of me, I don't need you." You said, Matt felt a knife in his chest when you said it, you knew you shouldn't said it. "You don't need me?"
He cleared his throat. "Fine, I'll let go of it. Just don't come and cry after everything you get to do or going through." He said. "I won't be there, if it's what you want." He adds.
You didn't recognise Matt for a moment, that wasn't Matt. "I'm so sick of that you think you can blame your mental state of how you acting. It's so embarrassing." He said again.
This time you felt the tears on your face, you wiped them away and walked towards the door. "I know that if I was dead, you'll never care." You said before you got out.
Matt felt the knife spinning inside his back, he never thought he will heard this from you.
After everything you guys been through, when he was there for you in your lowest point, and when he held you when you tell him about the attempt, and when he was taking care of you all the time, it's like you've never saw how much he done for you.
"I don't wanna talk with you." He said, you looked up at him. "It's not you." He said. "What?" You asked. "Matt?" You adds. "Don't talk to me, not until you finding yourself."
"Matt, you don't mean it, you know I've said something I shouldn't." You felt regret and anger about yourself for choosing those words. "Matt, no please." Matt get up to close the door. "Get out of here, I don't wanna see you." Matt felt the tears in his eyes.
"Matt, hey no." You try to hug him but he just close the door in your face. It's was the worst argument you've ever had with him, and maybe you lost him for the rest of your life.
The only good thing you've ever had.
Matt was on his room, he try to wipe his tears, but your words was on his head like a tattoo. He felt so bad, he felt like he lost you.
"Hey, y/n." Chris went upstairs from his room, he heard the shouts and the sound of your voice cracking. He was your best friend, he knew something going on.
"Hey, come here?" He helped you get up from the floor, and saw you crying. He gave you hug, just like that. He hugged you, you needed it. "Come tell me.." he try to lead you to the sofa. "Can we go to your room?" You asked him. "Yeah sure." He said.
You walked downstairs with Chris and got into his room. "What's going on?" He asked. "Me and Matt, we had a huge argument, I said things I shouldn't say, and he either, but I hurt him so much that he told me he don't wanna see me." You said crying.
"Oh fuck, I know you guys will work it out." He said and rubbed your hand. "No, I think I lost him, and I don't have where to stay, so I'll see him all the time and I.. don't wanna lose him." You said, Chris hugged you.
"You didn't lose him." He said to you. "You'll talk to him tomorrow, he knew you made a mistake, let him take some rest." He said. "Yeah." You whispered.
"And you can come to me, im always here, you're like my little sister, and I know you before Matt. Just come and tell me." You said and he looked at you. "I know." You sigh.
"So use me." He said and made you stop crying. "I don't have where to sleep right now." You said and sigh. "He don't let me go into the room." You said and Chris sigh.
"You can stay here, we'll do sleepover." He said and made you Smile. "Like high school." He said and made you laugh. "You sleeping on the floor." You said and he grinned at you.
"No!" He shouts and you laugh. "Yeah Chris, I need a bed." You said and sigh. "Fine." He said. "But no more crying." He adds and pulled you to his arms.
"I love you Chris." You said before you pulled back. "Love you too, little sis, and I know you guys will work it out. I promise." He said.
"I hope so." You said and stayed in his arms for while, crying over his brother.
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Part 2 and 3?