"Time flies when you're having fun" they say. But also when you're trying to graduate at university while traveling all around the world to drive a sport car, isn't a joke.
In the cosiness of my small living room in Florence, Lando was patiently listening to me, while I was repeating tons of pages from the material for my next- and also last-exam of the year.
"...And that's the main reason why sport cars and every other type of vehicles need to be tested in a wind tunnel. Oh oh, fun fact: the first wind tunnel was built in Turin! Can you believe it?"
The leak of attention after days of studying and more studying was clearly evident at this point, as keeping my focus fully on the target for more than twenty minutes was quite difficult.
"It's great but not an actual surprise. I mean, you Italians are basically everywhere, above all when speaking of motors." Lando replied, taking a big amount of chips from the bowl on the table in front of him. Instead I was sitting on the soft carpet, with my legs spread under the low table, in the middle of a huge mess of papers and books, all plastered on the floor and around the room.
"So returning to the main topic. I was speaking of... ah, yes! The importance of aerodynamics. Ready? Well, as I was saying a while before, in a sport car is very important to get functional side pods to help the airflow to pass under and over the automobile and also the floor-" My short "lesson" was soon interrupted by the other driver aka study-buddy in front of me.
"Babe, this must be the tenth time you're repeating this part. Why don't we take a short break? I need a minute to relax, otherwise my brain will explode." He was exhausted, even more than me after listening to the same sentences and topics over and over again.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I know you're right but I'm so nervous, Lan. This will be my last exam of the session and also with the professor who's editing and checking my thesis. Tomorrow he will tell me if I'll be able to graduate the next month and honestly, I'm on the edge of getting a nerves crisis." My glasses were slowly sliding down from the bridge of my nose, making me even more nervous after the hundred times I tried to keep them in place.
"Exactly my point then. I've never been the first student in my class and it's also been a while I don't attend a lesson, but one thing that I remember is: nobody studies the day before the exam. You need to get distracted, come on." He stood up from the sofa, fixing his clothes and roaming around the room, to catch his phone, wallet and a cap.
"What- where are you going?" I moved a few papers away, sitting better still on the floor.
"We are going for a walk in the centre of your beautiful city. And if you promise me you will close all of this terrible nerdy books, I'll also buy you the biggest ice cream you can ever imagine. Come on." He pushed his hands in front of me, before pulling me up, pressing me against his warm body and encaged in his arms.
"Are you really going to buy me the biggest cone in the Gelateria?" I asked probably sounding like a little kid but not caring neither a bit, as the need for a distraction was devouring me from the inside.
"Oh I will for sure because I want one too." His usual grin reappeared on his tired face.
"Then give me a minute to get ready."
It was unbelievable how fast he always manages to make a big smile get printed on my face, lifting my humor in such a unique way, almost as if he had some kind of super powers over me.
"One minute, nor a second more!" He said, leaving a sweet peck on my lips and then gently pushing me towards my bedroom, in order to get changed in normal clothes, and not in my old pjs, that basically became my past days usual outfit.
And so we did escaped the whirlwind of papers, notebooks and presentations that got me obsessed in these past weeks, to get a huge ice cream as promised and to stretch a bit our legs, after spending the whole day laid on the floor of my living to study every word of the material my professor sent me last month.
I tried my best to keep up the pace with both the races and the studies, but I have to admit that it wasn't easy at all. The last few GPs were real challenges, consisted in wrong strategies, hard conditions on track, useless and not working updates on the car and also some mistakes from my side, dictated by the hunger of showing off everyone on the grid how much I'm worth a try on their team. I knew mine was an useless attempt of catching some team principles' attention to get me a seat but I couldn't just give up before the time, even though, on the other hand, I was also trying to keep my feet on the ground, reminding me everyday of the possibilities of not being in F1 next year.
In the meantime my books and laptop became my new best friends, always under my arms, following me at every conference or meeting with the team, in order to take advantage of every free minute to fill my brain with as many as possible notions about aerodynamic, motors and engine. While the other drivers took ice baths or long walks on the track to get focus or also for chilling before a race, you could spot me somewhere secluded with my head low on hundred of papers about engineering stuff- or how Lando used to call them, "nerdy things".
The last exam I had went very well last month, also because of the big help the engineers and mechanics from the team gave me, as it was a quite practical one. Fred sent me tons of good material to study from and the guys taught me a lot as well, showing me in person the things I didn't manage to understand, directly on the car or the monitors spread in the garage.
However I was totally convinced that I was doing the right thing, sometimes the tiredness mixed with a big dose of worries, destroyed my mood, making me feel exhausted and a bit emotively upside down. I was lucky though to have a handsome boyfriend by my side that even if didn't understand neither a word of what I was saying, kept listening to my nonstop annoying voice for hours and hours, over the same topics, for a few days, keeping me company in my apartment after the bad decision of isolating myself to get fully focus on the test- not listening to my wish, he knocked at my door with a bag full of my favorite food, ready to give me also a tons of much needed cuddles in the between.
"So tomorrow is the big day. I know for sure that this man will love your thesis and will accept to publish it in a time record. I also know for sure that this exam will be even better than the others, cause- let's be honest- you're one of the smartest person on this planet, believe me. I've never heard anyone talking about such a boring subject as you do, with so much passion that I've almost got curios about it."
I laughed by heart at his little speech- and also at his hilarious face, as he had a little chocolate spot on his nose. "You're the best motivator I could ask for, you know this?" I said, wiping off the ice cream from his face.
"I'm trying my best here, girl. Glad to be useful." He passed an arm around my shoulder, and I was glad to be cuddled up at his side, also because the chilly air of the late evening was hitting us.
"Even if you were mute, you would be precious right now. The fact that I'll find you outside the university tomorrow, it's already enough for me."
"I'm going to wait for my successful girlfriend, take her to her favorite fast food to eat a huge cheeseburger and then, as I'm the perfect boyfriend, I'll take her home, to share a few days of pure relax on the beach, enjoying the last glimpse of summer." He shared with me his perfect plan last night, when cuddling in bed, he told me how he wanted to spend a few days before the next race, in Monaco, just the two of us.
"You're perfect and also modest, I'd say. By the way it's not a bad plan, if it wasn't for the meeting with Horner the day after tomorrow." I added with an annoyed expression on my face.
"Damn it. I completely forgot about it, sorry. My head is a mess of numbers about the measures of tires and the speed theory of that man with the strange name." He was trying so hard to remember the name of one of the most famous and important engineer of the story, showing me how much he really listened to me and my studies.
"You're hilarious when talking about technical stuff." I said before leaning in to steal a short kiss from his soft lips, then returning with my head on his shoulder, enjoying the last minute of the sunset, sitting on a wall close to the main bridge in Florence. "The meeting will be nothing formal, with just Horner and my agent. Probably a brunch in a cafe, nothing more nothing less. If he didn't want to meet me at the headquarter, I guess there's no much hope in his offer."
"Hey hey hey, shoot away this negative thoughts-"
"I must start to think realistically, Lan. I have no more options on keep racing in F1, they made it pretty clear. Yes, I could still go back to F2 and basically accomplished my old season but I don't feel it right. They proposed something about Formula E but that's not what I want, the same goes for the Endurance. Ugh, it's so frustrating, you know?"
It was the very first time I've exposed my inner thoughts about the whole job situation, as I've always managed to switch the topic with the others who tried to ask. Being able to open up to Lando about it, was a pure wave of relief.
"I can only imagine, but Kiara, you deserve all the best in this world. If you think the other championships are not for you, then don't accept it. Don't make yourself do with it only because you don't want to quit off or give up. If you won't race for an year, it won't mean you gave up, but just that you know how much you value and deserve a real chance in Formula 1."
"You remember the other night with the guys?" I asked, focusing on something else just for a second.
"You mean when we were all drunk and I thought you were pregnant?" He chuckled, trying to hide his embarrassment for the stupid misunderstanding.
"Exactly that one. Well, you know when they asked me about my future plans and we started joking about me being their possible new engineer... well, what if it's my right path?" I turned a bit around on my seat, in order to properly face him, read his eyes, to really get to know what he honestly thinks about the possibility.
Am I just a visionary for even thinking about this plan?
"Would you really like that? I mean, I know you've passed your last years studying for this because you're passionate and interested, but- do you see yourself in that role?"
He got obviously a right point, but as he said, I've studied for this, and not only for the scenario of a plan B if things wouldn't end up well in racing, but also because I've always been interested in finding out everything about how things really work in the car.
"I think I wouldn't mind it, to be honest. Being behind the scenes for a while, to understand how things work in the back, work practically on making the best car and not just the best race, would be interesting, would also teach me a lot for the future, who knows? I'd like to give it a try..."
"Why don't you focus on tomorrow for the moment. Let's graduate and then you'll have all the time to think about it. Then who knows about what Horner will offer you, no?" His calm tone made me relax instantly, loosing up in his green eyes.
"Yeah, you're right, but still... I can't hold my hands while they choose for me. I need a plan B to not be completely jobless and unprepared. I was really thinking about it, that's it." I scrolled my shoulders, posing my gaze on the cozy sun that was disappearing behind the palaces.
"Ok, I get it. Then let's make a list of pros and cons, what do you think? You always make them to choose everything important in your daily life, maybe they'll help you also for this."
"I use the list to choose what to eat for dinner or what to wear for the paddock, I don't think it'll work also for my job haunting." I chuckled at his serious face.
"You should try it before judge it, miss." He pecked my lips, before giving me his usual cocky grin.
"Ok ok, let's start with the pro's then. Well, number one: as we're imagining being an engineer still in F1, this would mean travel alongside you. We'll spend more time together and be in the same places at the same time always, without the stress of being enemies on track though."
"Oh, I like it!" He said, after counting the first pro on his right hand, while the other one was steady on my thigh, caressing it gently every once in a while.
"Number two: I would use my studies for working, after all the sacrifices I did to finish uni."
"Hmm, good point. Go ahead. Number three?"
"I would be useful in the team... I could put my signature on a project, working with the best engineers of the world on a real functional fast car. I could see it move, race against other people's project and I could change it and get it better studying every little details. It's like your own creations on four tires, speeding on a track and showing off what it can do, what works and don't on the paper, allowing you to fix it for future changes. In these past months, Fred taught me a lot, you know? Not only on how things work, but also on how much important is team work, listening to other ideas, discussing and fighting for your own if you think it's valid. We spent entire nights in meeting room in front of multiple datas only to understand whatever wasn't making us going well and... the satisfaction. The big satisfaction and relief you feel when you find the main problem, above all if it's something easily fixable!"
Speaking of this, I didn't even realize how zoned out I was, remembering, almost living again these shared moments with the team in the garage. Lando's smile took me back on Earth, after the little trip on memory lane.
"Wow, I knew you were a nerd, but this is... unbelievably amazing. If this is your spirit, you'd be the best engineer a team could ask for. And in all honesty, I'd pay millions to have you in mine." I thought he would turn his words into some silly jokes, but he actually didn't. Instead he showered me in a new strange feeling, like proudness?
"Do you really think they'll sue me in their team? I have no experience in this, I've just raced for a bit." All my insecurities were coming to surface but this time I wasn't about to suppressed them.
"And that's the biggest experience you could have. Kia, you have something that other's don't have: talent and cleverness. It's the perfect mix because you know well how things should be on the paper but also on track. It's not so obvious. I know hundred engineers that have never put neither a foot in the car. They can easily speak about strategies and technical details, but they don't know anything about the feeling you get when driving at 300 mph."
"Well, I guess you're right about it. But the main question is: would it be enough?."
"Who knows? If you never try, you'll never know. And by the way, I'm always right, babe." He said, crossing his arms at his chest, in a low attempt of flexing his arms.
"Always?" I tried to keep a straight face, but with him was quite impossible.
"You'll never stop to tease me about that, huh?" He asked, referring again to the pregnancy scare he had.
"Never!"
"Uh, I must accept my destiny then. Anyway, coming back to serious talks, promise me you will never settle yourself." He said with a stone cold face, gluing his eyes on mine, tightening his grip on my hands.
"It's not that easy but-"
"No, no buts. You won't settle yourself, not now nor never in the future. You deserve the best of everything. You won't be the short end of the stick, not anymore, got it?"
It was incredibly satisfying seeing how much he was believing in me, putting all his hopes in me and my career, being my biggest supporter, my number one fan.
"Copy!"
"Good. Now that we decided that you're the best, most intelligent, talented, beautiful, charismatic, teasing girl of the world, what do you think of going back home, enjoy an easy dinner on the sofa- far far away from all that nerdy stuff- before going to bed and get all the rest needed to became my possible next race engineer?" He asked, coming closer and closer to my face, almost brushing his lips against mine, only an inch apart.
"Hmm, let me think about it. How much will you pay me if I was in your team?" I loved teasing him and it was evident by now that he loved being teased by me.
"Am I not enough for you?" He spouted back, putting his lower lip out, like a little kid.
"After years spent on that nerdy stuff?" I asked rhetorically, mocking his words. "Hell no. I want a good pay, otherwise I'll consider other options." I added, moving back my glasses upper on my nose, looking even more nerdy than before.
"Oh, I see you're a real badass also on marketing promotions. Horner will be knocked out by your determination, poor him." He joked again, making me laugh so bad that I almost cried.
After a good night of sleep, a short recap of the last pages to erase the last doubts before the exam, the test was a success! And as if it wasn't enough, the professor was astonished by my research, remarking it as "one of the best and most original work he has ever seen" and then promising me of working on it to allow me to get graduated before the end of the next month.
As promised and planned, Lando and I escaped the city soon after finishing the nerdy things I needed to, celebrating the first step of my success in his apartment in Monaco, in our usual little bubble of love, easy teasing and jokes.
The very next day the big encounter with Horner and Suz came and as predicted, didn't take any good news. Basically Horner was still debating on which drivers putting in the vacant seat, but as he has some good new names on the table, he was taking his time on deciding. He explained that my name was still there, but it was difficult to make assumptions at this point of the season, above all as my latest results weren't the best I've ever had. He tried also to give me a kind of ultimatum: if I scored another podium before the end of the year, I could get a bigger possibility of keeping the seat, but we were still talking of a possibility, and not the certainty of having it. Suz also thought that he was only trying to find something out about my possible new projects, as lately I've been super secretive.
The only thing I knew for sure was that I couldn't build my future on castle-sands made of assumptions, possibilities or doubts. I had to take in consideration every little chance possibile if I wanted to keep racing. And of course, after the graduation, I'll start also looking for something in the engineering field, getting my horizons bigger.
For now all that matters was my graduation, equally important and satisfying as a podium or even a victory: a day spent with my family and closest friends- including Suz, Mike, Hannah and Lando- all there for celebrating my success. The discussion of my thesis happened as promised after only a few weeks, giving something real, concrete and sure to celebrate about a part of my career.
***
@ _chiarabianchi_ just posted on Instagram
➥ @ _chiarabianchi_ : as the last photo says... trust me, I'M AN ENGINEER DUDE!
Sorry for the unusual silence of these past months on socials and at other media events, but I was trying my best at university to finally graduate and finish my studies in Mechanic Engineering. A big thanks to the @alphatauri team that (as usual) helped me also in this and also gave me the chance of keep going my desire in completing this long journey. Thanks for all the wishes and congratulations, that's a new engineer in the paddock!🤓