⎯ ❝fair square.❞
It wasn't sure to Estelle what was expected of her, but it certainly wasn't this. She went from the beloved student to the student you bought from to nothing. A nobody. And she was okay with that.
The gigantic house she was supposed to call home sometimes felt as though it was crumbling. Even though the space in between was enormous, Estelle had the feeling the walls came crashing into her. The only safe place was her bedroom, where she'd spend most her evenings dreading the next.
As of right now, she couldn't do so. The fair was built up in town for one more day and Estelle promised her dad she'd join Jeff and his girlfriend Isabel, because it was important to Jeff. According to her father, everything was important to Jeff— everything was about him, everything was because of him. Everything, everything, everything.
Estelle spent her last minutes laying upside down on her bed, listening to Dominic Fike's album Mama's Boy on vinyl. She heard the faint talking of the couple im the room next door. Estelle attempted to ignore it, but those two could get quite noisy when nicknaming each other.
She sat upright on her bed, turning off the record player before stomping out of her room to Jeff's. His door was wide open, the two sitting on his bed, completely in their own world.
"Yo, dipshit," She knocked on the already open door to let herself be known regardless. "Just to let you know, I hear everything. Either close your door or just don't."
Jeff's face dropped for a minute, then he seemed to get upset. Isabel gave Estelle an apologetic look, silently telling her to close the door. With a roll of her eyes, she closed the door with a slam.
On her way downstairs, Estelle passed the room they described as the med-bed. It was the place Ginny laid when she was in her last stages of sickness. She couldn't properly get out of bed anymore, so they placed a bed in a room and called it her place— disregarding the fact that that room used to be Estelle's art room, which she used daily.
The bed was still there, only now it was empty. Full of memories, but physically empty. No one had yet had the courage to move anything or even fully enter it. Her converse-clad feet took her down the stairs, forcing Estelle to tear her eyes away from the room.
It took some time, but eventually Jeff and Isabel joined her downstairs. Jeff started up his red car ( that he was so proud of but had actually been gifted by Dad ) and drove to the fair. Estelle could've called herself lucky he hadn't gone to Dad's study and whine again. He seemed to do that more than usual lately.
Estelle never understood why Isabel was with Jeff. He was terrible to her. He cheated— mostly with middle aged women, he was a self-absorbed, whiny bitch and, above all, Isabel could get about anyone she wanted. Her fair skin, light eyes and wavy hair gave her an angelic look. Estelle would do anything to be perceived like that.
He went over what was going to happen many times. Isabel could find Brittany while Jeff prepared himself for his giant entrance, as with every other big event. Most of the time, Estelle had to film it for him. Dad would always want to see it, being the proud father he is, but he could never make it due to work, being the workaholic he is. It was a vicious circle and Estelle was trapped in the middle of it.
But today she wasn't going to do anything like that. The redhead got a soda first thing, then stood in line for cotton candy. A tap on her shoulder made her turn around. Hazel stood behind her enthusiastically, with the bright smile she always wore.
"How was summer?" Hazel asked. She wasn't aware of the death of Ginny Morrigan. Ginny had always kept quite to herself and the family tried to cover up the death and the situation before that as best as they could.
"Uh— good, yeah, good." She lied as response. Lying wasn't Estelle's best skill, but Hazel was easily convinced. She raised her brows slightly. "Oh, right— how was yours?"
Before summer Hazel had tried to teach Estelle how to make friends more easily by showing her some simple ways of gaining someone's interest. Such as asking how their summer was in return.
Hazel beamed. "It was fun, yeah," She took the cotton candy from the man behind the shop in her hands as Estelle did the same. Estelle watched her eyes travel to something in the back. Hazel pointed at it momentarily. "Look, there's PJ and Josie, let's go say hi."
"No, I don't want to..." Estelle muttered to herself in a soft whine. But Hazel hadn't heard her as she already practically jumped in front of the pair she called her friends. Estelle walked behind her and stood a little to the side, she felt like a lost puppy, unsure where to go. She loved to make more friends, however Josie and PJ ( especially PJ ) were incredibly intimidating.
"Hey, guys." The short haired brunette greeted.
Josie casted her eyes on her, seemingly tearing them away from something behind her. "Hi, Hazel." She shifted her gaze to Estelle. "Estelle. Didn't think I'd see you. How are the junkies?" All she got was a tight-lipped smile before Estelle looked back at Hazel, bringing the straw of her cup to her mouth in order not to say anything stupid.
"Ugh, hey, Hazel. How was your summer? Were you with your uncle at the slop farm?" PJ greeted reluctantly. There was a sarcastic undertone, but Hazel never noticed those. She never noticed them from Estelle either.
"If you mean volunteering at the National Meat Association," Hazel raised her eyes slightly as she tilted her head to side, a cheeky grin displayed on her face. "Yeah, it was good." She continued to speak. "You remember Estelle. She was in our class last year." Hazel pulled Estelle closer, forcing a wave out of her.
"What're you guys doing here? You guys never come to the fair. And what happened to your arm?" Hazel didn't give them any time in between questions to answer them, and so PJ could only answer the last one.
Though it wasn't an answer that told anyone anything ( unless you're like Hazel and don get the joke ). "Oh, my God, she ate shit is what happened." She said, turning to Josie's sling, which Estelle was only now noticing. She also only now noticed how the two were wearing completely different outfits. Josie was wearing an all black casual outfit while PJ looked like she was dressed for Halloween without the spooky element.
"She ate literal shit? What the fuck?" Hazel chuckled. Though she didn't say anything, Estelle wondered how one was able to break their arm by eating shit. In her mind that wasn't possible.
"Mmm." PJ neither agreed or countered the statement. All she did was roll her eyes without trying to cause a scene about it.
Hazel continued to ask questions. "Or did you get beat up again?"
"No, I just tripped and I—"
"Or were you jumped? Was it spy camp?" The short haired girl was unaware of the annoyance that was growing in both the girls opposite her. She raised her voice excessively. "Did you go to juvie?"
PJ's eyes narrowed at her friend. So far, it hadn't seemed like they desperately wanted to talk to Hazel. "Yeah, we went to juvie."
On the other side of the fair started up the announcement of the rugby team and most importantly ( as always ), Jeff. Estelle already knew exactly what was about to happen as she'd heard her brother speak about it for hours on end.
She turned around, turning her back on the conversation to face the way the Vikings were about to run in. "Ladies and gentlemen," The person screamed into the microphone. "It's time to get ready, get wild and get horny for our very own Vikings!"
"No, thanks." She said in a tone so low she was sure no one else heard. But it was louder than she'd anticipated and the three girls heard. They were too busy with the topic juvie to respond to it though.
The Vikings team ran out of the smoke. "Oh, my God, what did you do?" Hazel asked in shock. Estelle wasn't registering anything she said, she was being trampled over by the Vikings passing them— bumping into her and pushing her aside as they did so.
"And the man who will lead us to victory against the evil, maniacal, shit-eating Huntington ferrets," A blue pedestal had been placed on the grass a few feet away from them. Jeff ran out of the smoke, stopping on top of it. He started posing in various ridiculous ways. "Let's hear it for Jeff Morrigan!"
Jeff was surrounded by a loving crowd echoing through the field. Numerous girls were yelling sexual requests at him, such as to have his babies or to sign her tits. Estelle knew Jeff was loving it, even though he had a girlfriend— one he loved to show off for even more attention.
He ran towards Brittany and Isabel, hugging Isabel. Estelle heard PJ groan and turned back to her. "I just don't get why girls like guys like that. It's like they're like dogs, or pigs, or is there like a— What's the grossest animal?"
"Blobfish." Estelle nodded as she took another sip of her soda. PJ and Josie turned around, an strange look on their face, as if she'd just told them she was pregnant.
All of a sudden PJ saw something that seemed to have caught her attention. "Oh, fuck. Uh, Estelle, give me that." She grabbed the cotton candy stick closest to her —which happened to be Estelle's— and pushed it into Josie's arms. "Josie, take this. Take this."
"I was going to eat that." Estelle talked to herself as she watched the cotton candy being ripped out of her hands. The next minute was spent by PJ forcing Josie to hold onto the cotton candy stick and Josie denying the need to do so. Hazel saw Estelle looking at her estranged cotton candy and offered her her own.
PJ and Josie didn't even notice the interaction of the two girls behind them. Hazel held out her arm with her candy, looking at the redhead. Estelle stared at the gesture for a few seconds, then looked back up at Hazel. There was something about her smile in that moment that made her have a sense of joy and euphoria— something she hadn't felt in a while.
PJ and Josie were still yelling at each other when PJ suddenly threw her own popcorn on the floor. It brought Estelle out of her trance and caused her to look forward. She realised the reason that the two girls had acted so frantically was because Isabel and Brittany had approached. Hazel had told her about their obsessions with them last term.
"Hey, Brittany." PJ greeted, sounding more sincere than she had with Estelle or even Hazel. In the background, Isabel waved at Estelle.
"PJ."
"I am loving all the..." PJ looked Brittany up and down, searching for a compliment to give her. "Holes in your pants."
Brittany did the same, only less interested. "Thanks. You look like a little Dutch boy." She held the cup of soda firm in her hands.
PJ wasn't fazed by ( what Estelle thought was ) the insult. She wasn't even sure if she realised it wasn't a compliment. PJ's voice didn't falter. "Thank you. So, Britt... Can I call you Britt?"
"I prefer if you just called me my name." The tall brunette responded.
"Britt-a-nay. Um, but—"
"No, not that."
"Brittany," PJ finally settled on her real name. "Are you thinking of riding the ferris wheel at all tonight?"
Brittany looked back to the attraction. "I wasn't. I'm going on the Puke and Duke. I need to pull trig."
"No, you don't."
"Yeah, I do."
Estelle wasn't sure what this interaction was. It surely wasn't what Hazel described as the standard conversation. Estelle would rather describe it by saying it gave her the same sense of depression as watching someone die very slowly and painfully. But when she shared a glance with Isabel, she thought Isabel might be thinking the same.
"I'm gonna say something crazy," PJ swung Estelle's cotton candy around in her hand as she talked. "I think you could eat food, digest it, let it marinate, poop it out."
Estelle brought her nose up at the mention. Brittany apparently thought the same, thought her facial expressions wouldn't have given that away. "Mmm. Gross." She disagreed.
"Maybe this? You want a bite of this?" She offered Brittany the cotton candy. When she refused, PJ threw it away next to her popcorn. "Yeah, this is fucking disgusting. Ugh. You want a hot dog? We could go get hot dogs?"
Brittany shrugged her shoulders slightly. "Oh, I don't know."
"Yeah, we could get the bun and the ketchup—" PJ held onto the straps of her costume as if they were her lifesavers.
"No bun. No."
"You gotta get the bun."
"No."
"Yes, you could."
This time Brittany's no was more effective than the other ones. "No bun," PJ cleared her throat. She decided to move on to the next girl, moving the conversation away from herself. "Okay. Um, Isabel. Josie was just saying something similar to me."
Because Estelle knew Isabel ( sort of ) she could tell she was genuinely interested in what was about to be said. Though Estelle wasn't sure if the brunette liked girls in that way. Though Estelle wasn't qualified to be the judge of that.
Josie scratched her face, trying to hide it from Isabel. "I don't think so." Her voice went up an octave.
"I think so. It was really good.It was super funny." PJ disagreed. In the back, Estelle looked to Hazel, fussing with the stuffed animal she'd won with one of the games. She looked so focused on every detail of it, Estelle swore she could see her closing one eye to pay more attention to it.
After some more encouragement from her friend, Josie started the interaction between her and Isabel. "You're just so— You're skinny too, as well." Isabel gave her a strange look at that sentence. "I'm Josie, by the way," She topped an imaginary hat on her head. "Good evening. Yeah, you're skinny— You're a real skinny Minnie, aren't ya?"
Isabel looked to Estelle, who only shrugged, then to Brittany with furrowed eyebrows. However Josie just kept going. "You probably should eat. They're gonna send you to the hospital with how skinny you are. Uh-oh, call the doctor. Skinny girl, I see."
Hazel found herself opening her mouth in secondhand embarrassment. Estelle wasn't much better at conversing, but even she knew this was horrendous. She had trouble holding her laugh in and hid behind Hazel.
"Okay, do you guys want any of our tickets?" PJ offered the two horrified girls.
Brittany took the whole bunch. While she grabbed it, Isabel spoke for the first time, but not to Josie. "Estelle, are you driving back with us or your friends?" She eyed PJ and Josie.
"I'll be there in a minute." Was all she replied. Isabel nodded, giving the redhead a small smile. Brittany then grabbed her friend's arm and pulled her away from the other three girls.
Estelle stood still, staring at where they used to stand. PJ turned to her. "You know Isabel. Why didn't you say?" She asked in a slightly accusing tone.
"She's dating my brother." Estelle looked down, not daring to make eye contact. She kicked a pebble on the ground. "What did you expect from me?"
Author's Note
this was longer than anticipated but there was just no way to cut that scene in two and stopping before it would've been too short. later chapters will probs be a little shorter ( somewhere in between 1600 and 2000 words mostly ). anyway FIRST CHAPTER YAA