AZALEA'S POV:
I FEEL at peace. I feel like I can for once accept who I am and what has happened to me.
Maybe everything doesn't have to be as bad as I seem to make it out to be. But I'm still not sure. It's only been 3 months since I've been here, living with my apparent biological family that have done everything to prove my fears wrong. And still yet, I feel it's way way way too early to be making such a rask decision as to if I should or should not trust them.
It feels like I can, it's just all the possibilities are overwhelming and it makes my distance towards them vary each time I talk to them. One minute I'm so happy, making efficient quality time with them, the next I'm in a hospital bed, telling them to leave me be when I know all they wanted to do was help me.
In all honesty, I feel so extremely lost. I don't know what to do, what I should be doing and if my life even has potential. It feels I lost it a long time ago. Then boom, a new opportunity is introduced to me, a life with a family that can help one another build trust together overtime, only awaiting my acceptance and approval yet I still hesitate.
Elliott left a while ago after he told me about some memories from when I was still with them. I still have no idea what happened to my dad and not much about my mother. I asked Giovanni once but it seems like a sensitive topic for them.
It's really dark right now. I'm not sure where my phone is and I'm only managing to stay warm with the embrace of the thin sheets wrapped around me.
I can walk to the lights with ease and switch them on, but I'd rather make the most of my alone time before it gets disrupted by one thing or another.
I look around the room and take in everything.
It's a small room with a floor that's fake marble cover. The walls are perfect white and not a single stain exists on it.
There are 2 windows, one on my left and one on my right. They're both the same size facing directly across each other. There are 2 grey loveseats on my left and a coffee table on my right. It's all very simple.
I close my eyes and lower my head slightly. I've been so caught up in my life that forgiving the Lauriers hasn't really crossed my mind. Selfish is what I feel right now. They've been so patient with me and I took that and used it to get myself muddled out of the mess I'd created for myself, effectively including them in my mess.
I take a deep breath, breathing in the chilly air. I was thinking of the things he had enlightened me about when he'd woke me up (I wasn't sleeping in the first place) and told me he was going to be leaving. I said okay.
I wish there was someone I could talk to about all of this.
My head lowers into the pillow as I hear someone's footsteps.
They wait for a few seconds, then open the door. I let a sharp breath escape.
"Azalea?" Someone calls out.
My breathing is heavy, but I don't think he notices.
Disappointment escapes along with a long sigh as they exit the room.
That was close.
I sit up, looking at the coffee table.
My phone!
I don't do much on it but watch tiktok. Newly found.. obsession?
I once again lay back and scroll through the videos. It helps pass time, real efficient.
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Scrolling after scrolling, continuously watching videos that benefit you in no way whatsoever is time consuming, unproductive and a big waste of time. It doesn't help finish tasks you need to do but instead temporarily distracts you; then when you're done with your watching session, the anxiety/anticipation come back but 10x worse.
That's why I stopped watching tiktok an hour ago.
I'm not distracted, just thinking of what I can really do now..
My life is way more different and much more complicated than it was 3 months ago. I had a plan then, I'd just move out at 18 and cut all contact with Stefano. But if not obvious, I can't really just cut off 5 big, bulky males that seem to have a lot of power around here.
I'm not sure I like this change or not.
Plus, if I were to go, where would I go and what money?
London, Vincent.
I shake the thought away. It's stupid, I have everything I could ever want here. Why'd I ever want to move away from my perfect life?
I move myself to the position where I'm sitting on the edge of the bed, my feet hovering over the marble. I swing my legs and jump off carefully. I almost trip, but I manage to regain my balance. A small smile forms on my face.
My steps are small and careful. I walk towards a door that I'd noticed before, not the exit.. or entrance for some people.
I reach for the door knob and twist it.
My hand reaches the switch. I flip it.
Oh.
I'm not sure what I was expecting but it wasn't this. I'm more surprised than.. disappointed but the disappointment is still there.
There's a small bathroom. A sink is pushed in a dark corner of the room, a toilet is on the right and then a shower is fit perfectly into another corner. The floating lightbulb casts a dim light above the room, enabling me to see the room a little more. A bag of what I assume to be clothes are near the sink.
The wall paper is a browned white and the floor is planks. There's a small, glazed window on the top middle of a wall
I feel really filthy and cold in this flimsy hospital dress and I think the most reasonable and sensible thing to do right now is to take a warm shower.
So I do.
I don't hesitate either.
I step into the bathroom and turn on the switch, water instantly soaking me. I curl up into a small ball and stay still. My hair drips wet with water, falling to the sides of my face sloppily. The boiling water practically burns through the thin white dress but I don't acknowledge it. There are no emotions I feel except for freedom and peacefulness. I'm finally free to my thoughts.. temporarily.
Stefano, the man that snatched my life, my childhood and my dignity. Mary, the one that'd cradle me after she'd experienced the same I did with no one to help. The one who had stayed my by side, telling me she'd always want me to be happy. Azalea, the girl who promised Mary she'd avenge her someday and that she'd always be happy.
I'm ready to fulfil that promise.
Someday, someday I will avenge my mother. But for now, I'll focus on being happy. On working on my self. So, after a long time, a while of thinking and consideration, wondering if this is the right choice..
I'm ready.
I'm ready to leave it behind.
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This chapter's release took so incredibly long and I'm so so so sorry about it, actually. The time is outrageous and i'm really sorry but it's just everything's been going by so quickly and i've been really tired but it's not an excuse 😭😭
The next few chapters will be more wholesome then it'll be more drama, action and those stuff.
Make sure to vote and comment!
Until tomorrow,
~ Violet